STORY TIME: THAT ONE TIME I SAW A COMMUNITY THEATER PRODUCTION OF PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
Listen up kids: It’s time that you heard the story of when @dreaming-in-seams and I saw a community theater production of Phantom of the Opera.
This took place many years ago, when I was a senior in high school and my sister was getting ready to enter high school. The both of us were into choir, musical theater, and acting. We had done some community acting and music productions and participated in school plays and such. So we both had a lot of friends in our schools and town who were also into theater and music. Which is what led us to see a community theater production of Phantom of the Opera.
For those of you who may be unfamiliar with the concept of community theater, let me break it down for you: It’s not uncommon in America to have theaters and playhouses run by the community, usually hosted at recreation centers where people of all ages can take extracurricular classes and participate in community-led events. Plays are a big part of this. But since these plays are usually run by community volunteers, the entire cast is made up of volunteers. No one (maybe aside from the director and a couple other folks actually running the play) is paid. But the point is to give people (usually kids) the opportunity to try out something new, get a taste for theatrical performance, and maybe inspire them to pursue acting or to at least learn about it. You still have to audition for these plays, so it’s not a guarantee that everyone who wants to be in a play will be in a play. In our town, community theater productions for kids were usually divided up into age groups. Younger kids would be in shorter productions, sometime with a Certified Adult or two in the cast to help them out. Older kids (usually high school students) would be in more normal-length productions, taking on more difficult shows. However, since these plays are meant to teach kids about acting and help kids foster a love for acting, there are usually a LOT of parts so more kids can be involved in the show. Some kid will be cast as a lead, while someone else may appear for one scene and get two lines. But what matters is that these kids are learning something new and getting a new experience, right?
But remember: These productions are put on by the community on a near-completely voluntary basis. Which means that there’s a shoestring production budget. Costumes are usually made by the kids’ parents, donated by community members, or found in thrift stores. Any music involved in the show is usually played from a CD or (nowadays) directly streamed from online. Community theaters are NOT equipped with the same tech you get in a traditional professional theater. And the cast is made up of a bunch of kids who are doing this as an after-school activity.
Long story short: Community theater productions are usually cringe.
But that’s what makes them so darn endearing.
So this production of Phantom of the Opera was based on the book, not Andrew Lloyd Webber’s famous musical (there’s absolutely no way anyone in our town would’ve had the money to purchase those rights), so that means no singing. And this version is written with community theater and a cast of high schoolers in mind. So some of the more messy bits of the story are downplayed, and a lot of tertiary characters appear so multiple kids can be part of the show.
My sister and I had a couple friends in this production, so we went to opening night in support of them. We had seen plenty of shows like this before and performed in shows like this (my sister was once one of the seven dwarfs in a production of Snow White and I the Sultan’s wife in a production of Aladdin), so we knew more or less what we were in for: Raggedy costumes, kids haltingly saying their lines, clunky scene transitions, probably a technical difficulty or two… but honestly, those aspects of community theater make it so endearing. We get to the theater (a tiny little space in the local rec center) and some of our music and acting buddies are in the audience! We go sit with them. They’re also here to see and support friends in the production. We talk and catch up before the show starts. Then the lights dim, some royalty-free creepy orchestral music crackles over the speakers, and the show starts.
One of my good friends at the time played Madame Giry (the head of the ballet), and she absolutely nailed it. Another friend played André (one of the opera house owners). Another friend played Raoul (we’ll get to him). At first, me, my sister, and our friends are being polite and supportive. There are some clunky lines, some prop and costume malfunctions, but all of that is to be expected in such a production.
But some people forgot lines. Some people missed their cues entirely. Some kids were acting their hearts out while others had NO CLUE what they were doing. My pals Madame Giry and André were killing it but me and my friends in the audience just started making this face 😬 as the show went on.
This was community theater unlike anything I had ever seen.
We start laughing. Not out loud, but we’re trying to keep it together and be good audience members. We’re whispering silly things to each other. We’re losing decorum and turning into bad audience members. But we rally and tough out the cringe on stage for our friends.
We get to the moment that, in the musical, would be the “Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again” moment. Christine, so torn and traumatized by the Phantom, visits her father’s grave to say one final goodbye. The actress playing Christine is kneeling onstage, facing a headstone clearly bought at a Spirit Halloween store, giving a heartfelt monologue about how she misses her father. She’s doing well and is in the moment. Behind her are some risers decorated with fake plants and more headstones that were clearly discount Halloween decorations. And on one riser, not at all obscured by a prop, sitting out in plain view for everyone to see… is a black box clearly labeled “Fog Machine.”
Here’s how the scene went down:
Christine: Oh Father. I miss you so much.
Fog Machine: *unearthly loud whirring noise as fog gushes out*
Christine: *completely drowned out by the fog machine*
Fog Machine: *stops noise*
Christine: - you said that you would send me the Angel of Music and -
Fog Machine: *unearthly loud whirring noise as fog gushes out*
Christine: *completely drowned out by noise and now completely hidden by fog on stage*
Fog Machine: *stops noise*
Christine: - and now there’s nothing left for me but -
Fog Machine: *unholy demon whirring noise and sputtering of fog*
At this point, me, my sister, and friends are stuffing our fists in our mouths to keep from laughing.
Eventually, Raoul comes to save Christine from the Phantom, who has shown up in the graveyard. Maybe some angry words were exchanged and a fight happened. I wouldn’t know because the fog machine was giving the performance of a lifetime.
Eventually, the scene ends and the stage goes dark as the scene transitions. During these scene transitions, usually some music played to keep the audience occupied while the set was changed in the dark.
For whatever reason, someone decided that this particular scene transition needed to have the Jaws theme play over the speakers.
So me and my little peanut gallery, already dying from stifled laughter, snort a lot and start “eating” each other like we’re at a Fourth of July beach party gone wrong.
But wait! The show’s now over yet!
We get to the climax: The Phantom has kidnapped Christine and Raoul and Meg Giry run to go save her.
Remember earlier how I said that a lot of these community plays will have a lot of random characters with only a couple of lines so that more kids can have a chance to be in the show and learn about acting?
If the fog machine wasn’t the star of the show, the Rat Catcher certainly was.
Raoul and Meg are going through the sewers under the opera house, looking for Christine (the set was just them in front of the drawn curtain on the stage). Suddenly they hear someone. They hide (behind the curtain). Out comes a high schooler in a lot of makeup to make him look like he’s been living in a Parisian sewer for the last 70 years and probably saw Valjean save Marius from the barricade. He’s covered with little rat plushies. COVERED. He creeps out on stage. His moment has come. His one line in the show. His Oscar-worthy scene. He’s milking this for all it’s worth. He stops on stage, awkwardly strokes a plush rat in his hand, looks at the audience and says in a creepy voice:
And then he shuffles off stage.
And then Raoul and Meg emerge from their hiding place, also covered in plush rats, scream, frantically brush the rats off, and continue on their way to save Christine.
Who cares about pacing and suspense? EVERYONE NEEDS A PART IN THIS SHOW. GET A RAT CATCHER ON STAGE.
FINALLY, we make it to the final confrontation. Phantom threatens to kill Raoul unless Christine leaves with him. Raoul pleads for her freedom. However, unlike the ALW version, we don’t have a cool medley sung by a trio. Instead, Raoul and the Phantom start to brawl. Nothing crazy (this is community theater after all). But at one point, Raoul lunges to tackle the Phantom and the Phantom just sort of… sidestep dodges. Raoul, determined to do his own stunts and make them as cool as possible, dramatically tumbles across the stage, leaps up, stares at the Phantom…
And let’s out a Super Saiyan yell that would make any character in DragonBall Z turn green with envy.
High school boys. They say they’re not dramatic, but they are. And none as dramatic as this guy.
Once again, me and the peanut gallery are biting our tongues and covering our mouths to keep from laughing. Doesn’t help that we all know Raoul from school. I turn to the friend next to me and see the look of a man fighting with every fiber of his being for self-control. I see an opportunity and go for the kill.
I lean over and whisper in his ear, “Spartaaaaaaaa”
My friend chokes. His eyes go wide. He bites his lip. He punches me in the arm.
At last, the show ends. We all meet up with our cast friends in the lobby. They know what we did. They’re not entirely happy with us. We apologize because, yes, we were rude. We probably would’ve made Statler and Waldorf proud with our silent laughs and heckles. We should’ve been better audience members, especially for our friends.
But oh what a relief it was to exit the theater and relive the whole production and laugh the uproarious laughs we had been holding in for the better part of the last hour.
Long story short, go see community theater.
PS: During curtain call, we gave a special round of applause for the fog machine’s excellent performance. They were definitely the only paid actor.
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