Anonymous Submission (Response)
Thanks for the previous advice! that was really helpful :)
Ok, so I kind of found out whatās making me unhappy. I remembered that I strongly opposed with my parentās decision to put me to an all-girls school but I had no choice since it was the only school that was close to where I live. I had my mind closed all this time about my school because of this. It was a huge change for me, originally coming from a mixed-gender school. The people are just so, different. They mostly talk about their boyfriends, which was strange because Iāve always wondered how they even met guys. We study in an all-girls school so how?
Since I had a close mind, I figured my classmates just gave up on me so they just automatically formed their own little groups while I lonerād myself. (I do have some friends but theyāre from different classes)
I really want to learn to love my new school but I donāt know how. Also, how do you open up to people that think you just like to be left alone? Because I donāt, I was just a little close-minded.
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If people think you want to be left alone it might feel difficult to try to join their group, but with effort you can. Small things like facial expression, posture, the way you wear your hair and your smile can make a big difference to the vibe you send out. Also where you sit in the classroom makes a big difference. To illustrate what I mean, picture the following: a girl that doesn't know anyone there walks into a classroom with her books held tightly in front of her chest, long hair covering her face, head tilted down towards the floor, walking close to the wall and sits at the back of the classroom on her own. The first thing people think, without even having spoken to her, is "loner" and that she's difficult to talk to, because she wants to be left alone. People don't want try to make an effort.Ā
Then picture this: A girl that doesn't know anyone there walks into a classroom, smiling. Her books are under her arm, her hair tied up/away from her face, shoulders up high and head looking straight forward. She has a curious look on her face and makes eye contact with some of the students, smiling, forcing them to notice her and maybe even smile back. She smells good and seems to be comfortable in her skin. She takes a seat next to someone she doesn't know by saying "I hope I can sit by you" while smiling broadly and looking cute (if you tell them you're sitting, and you don't ask, they can't say no) and asks something about last weeks homework/something about the teacher/comments on what the person is wearing etc.Ā
Without even having starting a real conversation, girl B is automatically received by the other students a lot more positively than the girl A. It might sound superficial but external things like these make a big difference as to what people think of you. However, you don't need the best looking hair or the most beautiful skin or the coolest clothes for people to talk to you, as you can see in my examples. Just as long as you give a clean, healthy impression, the rest is all about how you act.Ā
A good way of connecting with the girls in your class is exactly what you described as a problem - how to meet boys. A perfect way to bond! If they all have boyfriends that is something you can ask about. You could start by explaining that you used to go to a mixed school and it wasn't a problem but that you find it more difficult here, and then see what they say. Another way to go about it would be to ask how they met their boyfriends. That is something couples likes talking about and you get to know them better at the same time.Ā
Another easy conversation-starter is to ask what someone did during the weekend. You get to know them, hear about their life a little and the minute you hear something that you have in common, however remote it may be - bring it up! Say something about it. One thing leads to another and maybe you'll end up having a big long conversation about something. If it doesn't work with one person, try the next. Some people just don't want to get to know new people and that's fine, not your problem. What you need to remember is not to victimize yourself and start thinking that no one likes you and start feeling sorry for yourself. Walk into that classroom with confidence and curiosity, and you will notice a difference.
