noise

Sad Walmart 😔😔😔😔😔😔

[drearydaffodil]

I don't drink much these days

Choosing to marinate instead

In uncertainty

Fear and falling swinging hand in hand

& sometimes I find myself

So thirsty

For the blur

The soft

I am all deep breathing

All ragged edges

A rising panic

Barely bitten back

But i have known drowning

Somewhere on the horizon

The sun still shines

Just waiting to be seen

[drearydaffodil]

Don't mind me, I'll just be

Swimming in anxiety

Drowning in her salty kiss

Breathless here in the abyss

I'll put a chair under the door

I'll wrap up tightly on the floor

I'll look away now from the sun

I'll fray and tear and come undone

Revel in my shiny cage

I've trapped it tightly on the page

This rabid beast, a whimper left

I've left him lonely and bereft

I'll open a window, throw wide the door

I won't feel embarrassed anymore

& make room for light, it's searching for me

Sunbeams are dancing frenzied and free

[drearydaffodil]

I cannot explain

My willful resistance

How roots won't remain

An erased existence

I long to be sand

I dream of the sea

To lose sight of land

To lose all of me

[drearydaffodil]

Fragile like cicada wings

Asunder in a shattered breeze

Behind these ribs

A maze, a mess

Never escape

Beyond a rolling slope

Or craggy hills

My tender heels

Just bleed and bleed

Above, a million miles away

Tiny chips of light

Down the barrel

Of a loaded telescope

Crane neck

Swan dive

Maybe graceful

At last

[drearydaffodil]

Sure, it seems that you

Survive the worst of it

Well most of you does

The rest is a mess you find

In those rooms you locked up tight

[drearydaffodil]

Fear and hope are in a war

It thunders in my chest

My back is weary, heart is sore

I'm choking on unrest

The shadows growing long and dark

The evil edge ahead

There is a tangle, this shuttered spark

That rings with words unsaid

There is a pulse within the air

And it trembles as it rings

Joy will win, beyond despair

An angel softly sings

[drearydaffodil]

There are times I find

Myself so full of joy it

Leaks right out my eyes

[drearydaffodil]

Today I was

Controlled burn

Less wildfire

My fingers

More grasp

Less claw

I was softer

Holding myself

Like melted wax

There is ache

There is worry

There is gentle

Inside me

[drearydaffodil]

I'm just killing time

Crushing seconds, I'm heedless

Of soot asunder

All those fiberglass diamonds

Those bloody-handed prayers

[drearydaffodil]

solstice of the sea creatures

They watch below the waves with seafoam eyes

The moon is just a golden bright embrace

Lurking, lethal, dangerous surprise

One that wears a beautiful angel's face

Summer comes calling, petals on the waves

Far below, creatures carousing in the deep

A hungry mouth will always get what it craves

Shadows slice the silence where strangers creep

But perhaps hope is found so far from the shore

Perhaps the monsters made of myth and fear

Maybe that song is meant just to adore

They never made that meaning clear

The sea's in my blood, etched in my bone

A mermaid murmurs that i'm not alone

[drearydaffodil]

I find the most fear

When I examine my heart

All this blank canvas

While once painted with wonder

Emptiness unfurls within

[drearydaffodil]

Questions taste bitter

When you're swallowing prayers

When hope is a knife

You dreams can become a trap

Letting go can be freedom

The pain of worry—

That poison leaves slowly

Green leaves grow again

And forests can be rebuilt

Out of ruinous wildfire

Your soft seedling heart

Cradles the moss of your smile

A warm place to rest

The breeze whispers its secrets

The stars still know who you are

[drearydaffodil]

Allowing the static to settle

A world almost remembered

The boundaries feel

Like a dream

The forest withers to desert

The sun will always disappear

But it's high in the sky

I am painted with shadows

The warmth is a kiss on the mouth

[drearydaffodil]

It all boils down to

My head is always so full

My hands are empty

I'm embroidering ideas

Just to keep me occupied

[drearydaffodil]

I quantify pigment

Crimson petals leaking

From a Robin's egg sky

An exhale into ebony

I fold gently

All torn skin

All nervous hands

All bitten lip

The frantic dance

Of clock hands circling

The way the stars

Fall out of sight

I know how it feels

To fade

Watercolors &

A river wound

[drearydaffodil]

We can't go into the water

Cause amoebas are all breeding

And our brains will be a slaughter

If we give them for the feeding

And sometimes our air

Is too toxic for us too

And it's easy to despair

It's the natural thing to do

We are the monster that fell out of the trees

An ape with a desk job, eaten with greed

Sometimes the people are just a disease

Sometimes an ending is just what we need

We built the fire and now everything burns

We are the bullet placed in the gun

The smartest beast that never learns

We're the sickness that can't be undone

[drearydaffodil]

Glittering nostalgia

Dancing in the gold dust

At least it seemed so then

Every star was a wish

I was roses and trust

Just glittering rust

In a wayward storm cloud

Those gossamer wings

My honey drunk heart

The bees still find

Blossoms in the dark