Hope’s Peak Academy is a school in Japan by the sea and it’s ♫ beautiful ♫ ! In the year negative a billion, Hope’s Peak Academy might not’ve been here. In the year -40,000 it was here, and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it. Then it got warmer, some people became talented, it became a school, and now there lots of trees! Because it’s warmer. So now there’s people at the school and they’re basically sort of hanging out in between the classrooms, eating drugged shit made by the chef, and using the latest technology. Like electronic identification, and knives. Ding dong, it’s the outside world. And they have technology from the future. Like really good weapons, and non-talented people. Now you can make a lot of non-talented people really really quickly. That means if you own the reserve course, you own a lot of people, which is something everybody needs to survive. So that makes you king. The reserve course spread across the land, all the way to here. The most important reserve course camps were here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. But this one was the most most important, ruled by a principal, or headmaster for short. Knock knock, get the door, it’s religion. The fashionista wants everyone to try this hot new religion from the depths of hell. “Please try this religion,” she said. “No,” said everybody. “Try it,” she said. “No,” said everybody again, quieter this time. And so the religion was put into place, and all the rules that came with it. Then, the government was taken over by her and her minions, and they made some reforms. Like making the government govern less, and making the government more like a kindergarten classroom, which is a government that governs less. “Hi Hope’s Peak Academy,” the elementary school said. “Hi dipshits,” said Junko. “Can you call us something else other than dipshit?” said the elementary. “Like what?” said Junko. How about the ♫ warriors of hope ♫ ?“ said the elementary. And they stole Junko’s morals and wrote some diaries, about themselves. And then they made lots of corpses and robotic bears and more diaries about themselves. Then they stopped moving the capital every time the a possessed kid died and kept it in one place for a while. Right here. And they conquered the Towa City, finally. Get that squared away. A rich hipster named Monaca is bored with modern Despair and learns a better version which is more ♫ spiritual ♫ comes back, reinvents the government and causes murder to be ♫ great ♫ for a long, long time. And the air fortress turned into such a dream world of despair that they really didn’t give a shit about governing the country. So if you live outside the fortress, how are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals? ♫ hire Pekoyama ♫ Everyone started hiring Pekoyama. Correction: only rich gangsters hired Pekoyama . Poor people who could not afford to hire Pekoyama did not hire Pekoyama. The Kuzuryuu-clan became organized and powerful. More than the government, so they made their own military government here. They let the Monaca still make Monokumas, but the Kuzuryuu-clan is actually in control. Breaking news: Dangan Ronpa has invaded America. “We’ve invaded America,” said orenronren. “Please respect us, or we might invade you as well.” “Okay,” said Japan. So orenronren came over, ready for war, and then died in the something awful paywall. They tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese, but then died in a tumblr translation mirrors. Then the Americans overthrew PC ports, then the PC ports overthrow them back and moved to Towa City and makes a new paradise, and Monaca can still make Monokumas if she wants, that’s fine. ♫ Now there’s more despair ♫ Like painting with less colors, collaborative murder, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, death, architecture, flowers. It’s time for Who’s Going To Be The Next Ultimate Despair? Usually it’s the Ultimate Despair’s kid, but the Ultimate Despair doesn’t have a kid, so Monaca tries to get the Ultimate Hope’s sister to quit being a highschooler and be the next Ultimate Despair. She says okay, but then Monaca says she’s gonna sabotage the whole thing anyway. So now who’s it gonna be? Vote now on your phones! And everyone voted so hard, that the Warriors of Hope caught on fire and burned down. Monaca actually didn’t care, she was somewhere being saved by Komaeda. And the whole country broke into pieces. Everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it’s anybody’s game. Knock knock, it’s Novoselic. No, they’re not here to take over (yet). They just wanna sell some shit. Like clocks. And guns. And ♫ Satan ♫ So that’s cool, but everyone’s still fighting each other for control, now with guns. And wouldn’t it be nice to control the capital, which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them. This swimmer’s brother is ready to make a run for it. But first, they he has to cross a bridge which is in the way. Surprise! He dies, and Komaru Naegi steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital. It goes very well. She’s about halfway through conquering Japan, when someone who works for her lusts after some rich blonde dude. And the rich blonde guy is a bitch. And that guy finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody’s swords. And made some rules. “And now I’m going to invade Korea, and then hopefully China,” he said, and failed, and also died. But before he died, he told these 5 guys to take care of his 5 year old son until he’s old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the 5 guys said “Yeah, right. It’s not gonna be this kid, it’s gonna be one of us. Because we’re grownups. And it’s probably gonna be Makoto Naegi, who happens to be way more rich and powerful than he others.” A lot of people support him, but a lot of people support not supporting him. They have a fight. He wins! And starts a new government right here. ♫ Hope’s Peak ♫ And he still lets Monaca makes Monokumas, and have very nice things. But don’t get confused, this is the new government, and they are very strict. So strict, they closed the country. No one can leave, and no one can come in. Except for the Novoselics, if they want to buy and sell shit, but they have to do it right here. Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a lot. Business increased, schools were opened, roads were built, everyone could read, books were published, poetry, plays, sexy times, puppet shows, and Novoselic studies. People studied European science from books they bought from the Novoselic. We’re talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even serial killers. Over time the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow dow- …..Knock knock. It’s the United States. With huge boats. With guns. Gunboats. “Open the Game. Stop. Having it under the paywall.” said the United States. There was really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that let NIS translate the game. Japan starts making TVs, VCRs, automobiles, and camcorders as fast as they can. And also better than everybody else. They get rich, and the economy goes wild. And hen he miracle wears off. But everything’s still pretty cool, I guess. ♫ bye ♫