Be Nice

I only participate in productive, civil discussions; so don't even touch my posts if you're going to be rude and never listen to what I have to say. Do not screen shot my blog. Read my about and overview for more info.

[drg-aido]

Oh my god, she's really popping off! "Religious heternormative non-shagging straight person" and everything.

[drg-aido]

I can't even keep up with the amount of spam she's posted in just one day

[thefrogginbullfish]

[drg-aido]

hehehe

[drg-aido]

.

[drg-aido]

Oh my god, she's really popping off! "Religious heternormative non-shagging straight person" and everything.

[drg-aido]

I can't even keep up with the amount of spam she's posted in just one day

[drg-aido]

Oh my god, she's really popping off! "Religious heternormative non-shagging straight person" and everything.

[drg-aido]

JK Rowling on the LGBTA+ community

[drg-aido]

Making a return in light of shocking recent events because I need to know which of you anti-aspec accounts was actually JK Rowling the whole time

[areacesapartoflgbt]

In response to the drg-aido post;

TRIGGER WARNING FOR EXTREMELY SENSITIVE IMAGERY IN THE LINKS. 

In short, I am disgusted and will refrain from reblogging any content involving them; drg-aido is a racist, vile person, and I deeply apologize for supporting them this entire time. 

While I recognize some of the links were vague or perhaps I just didn’t understand what the message was, there are no words for drg-aido’s behavior. In response to being told they were racist for knowingly comparing a latnix person to Trump, drg-aido continued their insult. 

In response, drg-aido posted this. 

“Atrocities” it putting it lightly. Did your school skip over the Middle Passage or something, @drg-aido ? Did you think your joking and one-sentence post was apology enough for comparing the oppressed to their oppressors while resourcing once of the most disgusting and racist things to ever occur? 

For God’s sake, never open your mouth again unless it’s a sincere apology. I am horrified that I ever thought you were a good, trustworthy person. 

[drg-aido]

lol

[drg-aido]

A lot of people don’t understand how difficult it can be to know you are asexual for sure, and to be confident that the label is true on you. You spend years asking yourself, “How can I know if I feel sexual attraction or not?”

Trying to prove you DON’T experience something is actually ridiculously hard especially when you are nowhere close to understanding what it is you’re trying to disprove.

It’s a lot like playing a game of Where’s Waldo, but you have no idea what Waldo looks like and you rely entirely on the partial description of him you get from other people.

Take this image, and find “Jeremy” in it:

At first you’re like, “Who tf is Jeremy? That’s a thing?”

And then from discrete descriptions you hear in the hallways, you find out Jeremy has a red shirt.

And so you point to everyone on that picture who has a red shirt like, “Hey hey, red, THIS could be him. Certainly one of these is him!”

But, alas, you’ve gotten it confused with someone similar, but not him at all. This happens when you mistake romantic attraction or aesthetic attraction for sexual attraction or, if you’re aro, platonic attraction for romantic attraction. You’ve misidentified him because he was wearing the same color shirt and looked somewhat like what others were talking about.

You go online and ask for more descriptions of Jeremy, and you may gleam a few details. People are like, “Oh no, Jeremy has stripes on his shirt, and a funky…I don’t know, over the shoulder scarf thingy. Look, it’s really hard to explain. Trust me, if you have seen Jeremy, you would KNOW him.” Which is like ??? confusing, although it is true.

If only you could prove Jeremy isn’t on your board you would know you’re ace//aro, but it’s hard to ever be 100% certain he isn’t there when you have no clue what he looks like.

Which is why it is important for aces//aros to just, forget about trying to be 100% certain and just identify anyways. That’s what helped me the most, knowing that I didn’t have to prove something, I could just assume, “Yeah, if I had felt sexual attraction, I would know. I don’t have to prove without a doubt I don’t in order to use the word.” It’s okay, you give yourself your own validation.

(@acephobia-is-real​ for your question)

[theartbook35-deactivated2019022]

From a very close friend of mine who’s asexual, I can say that it took her a while to give that label to herself, as well as be open about it (with me). Part of the reason why she told me was because I told her I was bisexual, and she told me she was asexual and had come to that conclusion fairly recently. Her family doesn’t seem to really grasp the concept well, because they’ve tried to set up dates for her with these guys, which she always turns down, and from what I understand they get pushy. When someone has ZERO attraction to another person, you can’t push them to be with that person. With anyone you should never do that, but especially not to someone who’s asexual.

One thing my friend has also said, which rings true, is that not all people who are asexual, have zero attraction to others. Like, years ago, after she told me, she mentioned liking a few male characters from certain games she played, and finding them attractive. From my perspective, asexual meant you don’t feel any desire toward another person, but she clarified that some asexuals DO feel attraction to people, though it’s very mild. And they’re still asexual. The deal with asexuality, is that they don’t have any desire to be in a relationship.

I think it’s really empowering for her to be able to say for herself how she prefers to live her life. For me personally, I will always identify as bisexual, because I’m attracted to both men and women. However, I’ve never dated or had a relationship with a woman. Doesn’t make me any less bisexual. I used to think, many, many years ago, that I had to date a woman in order to be legitimately bisexual. That’s not true to who I am. If/when a time comes that I meet a woman who I really want to date, and/or be in a relationship with, then hurray. But if that time never comes, I won’t be any less bisexual.

[drg-aido]

Good addition.

[viciere]

yall fuckin weirdos, on some irrelevant ass post: OP is an aphobe

literally everyone else:

[drg-aido]

Yes they do.

It’s not like you’re mocking and abusing people and nobody is taking notice.

[softanti]

for the love of god i don’t care where you stand on the ace discourse

stop calling yourself aphobic

not only does it make aroace people genuinely afraid and ashamed but it makes people such as gay aces or trans aros afraid of you as well.

if you’re gonna be a “proud aphobe uwu” then you don’t give a fuck about “lgbt” aces along with “cishet” aces. if you’re gonna call yourself an aphobe you can’t say asexuality/being aromantic is valid but “make your own community.” if you’re an aphobe you’re a threat to ALL aces/aros; not just the “cishet” ones.

it’s not funny. it’s not cute. it fucking scares people and you’re an asshole.

[sleepyaphobe]

aphobia isn’t real boohoo go cry about it

[softanti]

nice job telling someone who was raped because of aphobia to go and cry lol

[sleepyaphobe]

aphobia isn’t real lmao aces aren’t oppressed like im sorry about your past and all and no one should have to go through that but… aphobia still isn’t real

[softanti]

he didn’t rape me before i told him i was ace but you know. must have just been a sudden change of heart right? that he chose to put his hands on me AFTER i told him i thought i was asexual and never before?

[sleepyaphobe]

aces aren’t oppressed systematically and have never experience real oppression therefore aphobia isn’t real im sorry for your expirience and all,,,,z but that wasn’t aphobia

[soul-eater-against-ddlg]

He literally raped her because she was asexual stop being shitty and denying her experiences @softanti I’m sorry you gotta deal with this asshat - Mod Maka

[demisexual-yuri]

Why the FUCK would you say “lol” or “lmao” after a survivor tells their story to you you disgusting excuse for a human being

This isn’t even about whether you think aphobia is real, this is about being a decent fucking human being

[doomcathedral]

And being 16 will not excuse them from being nasty as hell.

[estradiol]

asexual spongebob moodboard !! inspired by @crazy-acey-in-spacey

[drg-aido]

There is no neutral way to be an exclusionist. Mocking people for their (a)sexuality is exclusionist culture. You’re fundamentally a hate group, so you’re an asshole automatically.

Just like that I, a bi ace person, do NOT want to sit next to your “LGBT” ass, with your lying “we accept gay asexuals” ass, in ANY community you form.

[estradiol]

i’m a gay ace but go off

[drg-aido]

Don’t care. That literally makes no difference. You're mocking asexuality. That's bigoted. Nobody likes an asshole.

[comorbldity-blog]

hey local ace lesbian here if you treat lesbian blogs as “aphobic until proven otherwise” (like by immediately going to search for ace tags on a blog just cause you learned they’re a lesbian) but don’t do the same for any other kind of blog? you’re uh.. how do you say…. Homophobic™

and it shows how little care you actually have for us

[drg-aido]

sweetheart, exclusionists literally took a single incidence (where some ace made a comment about AIDs) and act like all asexuals say that kind of stuff. Aphobes blaming aces for the actions of a few DEFINES discourse, and exclusionist culture.

But yes, We are both in agreement that this behavior is WRONG and BIGOTED, regardless of if it is against aces or lesbians. Thank you.

[gothlovingoth]

“a single incident” yeah actually it was multiple and here is a list of some of the other bullshit inclus have done

[drg-aido]

Yes, they are quoting a single incidence and acting like most asexuals believe that way.

Aside from the fact that some of your links are false, in that they aren’t actually offensive given context, this proves nothing as it goes back to what me and OP are saying: you have at most 10-15 asexuals who said some potentially stupid things. You do not get to generalize millions of asexuals based on these few links. Understood?

The main thing is, most asexuals have common sense and don’t say “The advantage in not having sex is I won’t get AIDs”.

[gothlovingoth]

This isnt about asexuals this is about inclusionists can’t you read? Please do bother to read the last link, it’s way more than 10-15 people. (Seriously do you actually believe there are 10-15 aces who have said “some potentially stupid things”, do you actually believe you’ve got at worst 15 bad aces in the world) I’ll believe yall arent rotten when yall stop defending fatfae and aces-paint-cishets

[drg-aido]

No, you’ve got a lot of those links, but the number of them that are actually problematic are about 10-15. You guys have been making issues up, because you are anxious to find some reason to say "asexuals are bad" (how sad).

Lul.

Exclusionists are bad because your side is defined by hatred, you know? You're a hate group.

It's not that we are defending pedophiles, you know that's not the truth. The people you put in these "call out posts" did nothing bad. You were exaggerating to find some reason to “drag us".

Here's the thing, even if you had 100 links, that is not statistically significant. You need to do a proper population analysis of asexuals before you can rightfully conclude we hold problematic beliefs.

People have done this before, to measure the amount of homophobia in black communities for example (which showed black people are no more likely to be homophobic despite a popular belief we were).

You have no evidence to support your disgust, so that just makes you a proper asshole.

[regreceipts]

https://coffee-desperado.tumblr.com/post/161975787103/im-shaking-so-ba-d-this-perso-has-harassed-me

block @/discourse-sunshine theyve been harassing and suicide baiting @coffee-desperado (who could use some kind messages rn i believe)

[shezbisexual-deactivated2020021]

i swear every day the aceys make a new reason for us to bully them

[comorbldity-blog]

hey local ace lesbian here if you treat lesbian blogs as “aphobic until proven otherwise” (like by immediately going to search for ace tags on a blog just cause you learned they’re a lesbian) but don’t do the same for any other kind of blog? you’re uh.. how do you say…. Homophobic™

and it shows how little care you actually have for us

[drg-aido]

sweetheart, exclusionists literally took a single incidence (where some ace made a comment about AIDs) and act like all asexuals say that kind of stuff. Aphobes blaming aces for the actions of a few DEFINES discourse, and exclusionist culture.

But yes, We are both in agreement that this behavior is WRONG and BIGOTED, regardless of if it is against aces or lesbians. Thank you.

[gothlovingoth]

“a single incident” yeah actually it was multiple and here is a list of some of the other bullshit inclus have done

[drg-aido]

Yes, they are quoting a single incidence and acting like most asexuals believe that way.

Aside from the fact that some of your links are false, in that they aren’t actually offensive given context, this proves nothing as it goes back to what me and OP are saying: you have at most 10-15 asexuals who said some potentially stupid things. You do not get to generalize millions of asexuals based on these few links. Understood?

The main thing is, most asexuals have common sense and don’t say “The advantage in not having sex is I won’t get AIDs”.

[drg-aido]

Furthermore, do you think there are no bad gay people? I can find "multiple incidences" (MORE than what you've linked) where gay people have been neo-nazis, racists, and there’s the fact that some of you have the gall to be an "exclusionist" which is practically just a hate group that is honestly trying to convince others that people with a certain sexuality are demons. That's so blatantly bigoted, and you should know better. You should be ashamed.

[comorbldity-blog]

hey local ace lesbian here if you treat lesbian blogs as “aphobic until proven otherwise” (like by immediately going to search for ace tags on a blog just cause you learned they’re a lesbian) but don’t do the same for any other kind of blog? you’re uh.. how do you say…. Homophobic™

and it shows how little care you actually have for us

[drg-aido]

sweetheart, exclusionists literally took a single incidence (where some ace made a comment about AIDs) and act like all asexuals say that kind of stuff. Aphobes blaming aces for the actions of a few DEFINES discourse, and exclusionist culture.

But yes, We are both in agreement that this behavior is WRONG and BIGOTED, regardless of if it is against aces or lesbians. Thank you.

[gothlovingoth]

“a single incident” yeah actually it was multiple and here is a list of some of the other bullshit inclus have done

[drg-aido]

Yes, they are quoting a single incidence and acting like most asexuals believe that way.

Aside from the fact that some of your links are false, in that they aren't actually offensive given context, this proves nothing as it goes back to what me and OP are saying: you have at most 10-15 asexuals who said some potentially stupid things. You do not get to generalize millions of asexuals based on these few links. Understood?

The main thing is, most asexuals have common sense and don't say "The advantage in not having sex is I won’t get AIDs".