Dr. Gonzo: Attorney At Law

I just wanna carve a 'Z' in your forehead

[drgonzoattournyatlaw]

Happy Samhain, fellow heathens #halloween #dragula #vampires #werewolves #witches https://www.instagram.com/p/Bpmyyc8BP94YLPALw6y6dDAoKw3v7o5Q8ZDz1M0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=kt80fmh4zkfv

[animusrox]

How is it you know this place so well? Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

[drgonzoattournyatlaw]

All you goon-dicks out here thanking Will Smith for saving us from the aliens on Independence Day you forget that he couldn’t have done anything if Jeff Goldblum wasn’t there to help #JeffGoldblum #IndependenceDay #Freedom #LifeUhhhhFindsAWay #ChaosTheory

[taviacw]

My upstairs neighbor is having really loud sex at 10:25am. And, while this feels like retaliation, I can only hope it mellows her out and she stops stomping around all the goddamn time

[taviacw]

Wow in the time it took me to type up and tag this post, the sex started and ended…… she’ll prolly be vacuuming soon. 🙁

[taviacw]

It’s 10:29 and the sex has ended. I am v sad for her

[taviacw]

I feel like I jinxed her. Like her nigga follows me on here and saw this post, mid thrust, and got performance anxiety. I’m sorry, Upstairs Stomping Bitch.

[taviacw]

There’s stomping. She’s up and moving around. And you know what….. I can’t even be mad anymore. If I was only getting fucked for seven minutes at a time, I’d stomp around too.

[taviacw]

Y’all she’s showing tf out. She’s really up there like

[taviacw]

Damn I just heard her door close and then footsteps coming down the stairs. He left 😭😭😭 he’s not even gonna try again.

[taviacw]

I’m gonna need ear plugs for the level of stomping this is bound to cause. When her feet inevitably crash through my ceiling ima just look through the hole and be like “hi…. sorry you didn’t get fucked down this morning. Even tho you filed a noise complaint on me that one time, I was rooting for you.”

[taviacw]

Update y’all: it’s 3:10pm and she is vacuuming THE FUCK out of the hardwood flooring

[taviacw]

But then like, that really does sound like something ppl that are in need of orgasm do. Just extremely unnecessary cleaning, to take their mind off the lack of sexual release.

[taviacw]

I can see the text conversation now.

“I heard Aaron came over last nightttt. Whatd you guys get up to???👀👀👀😏”

“Not much. Oh! But, I did finally get a chance to mop my bathtub tho!!🤗 It was a mess in there, so thank god.”

“😬😔”

[taviacw]

It’s 12:26am and she is getting her back blown tf outttt. Cannot be the same nigga from earlier.

[taviacw]

I have the strong urge to knock the broom against the ceiling and holler out “yaaas bitch get some bomb ass dick” but I don’t wanna fuck up the vibe

[taviacw]

Nvm. It lasted from 12:20-12:28. It’s the same nigga.

[taviacw]

She better not start stomping or cleaning. I’ll file a noise complaint so fucking fast. Imagine getting a noise complaint for shitty sex. Don’t do it, Stomping Upstairs Bitch

[adorn88]

what a ride

[taviacw]

Not for her, apparently.

[pleatedjeans]

[10knotes]

im so glad i didnt die before i saw this

[machetelanding]

[ashvsevildead]

Reblog if this moment gave you an instant boner.

[wi7tches-deactivated20180915]

[gnczhanna]

Offscreen: Devin, you know, Digimon is way better than Yu-Gi-Oh.

Devin: [unamused] Go be a furry somewhere else.

Offscreen: [Wheezy laughter]

@captioned-vines

[theintrovertnation]

If you can relate follow @introvertproblems

[drgonzoattournyatlaw]

Ever heard of smoke signals? Geesh.

[i-am-a-fish]

Is it ok if i swear?

[somethin-gay-deactivated2018020]

yes fish, i will allow you to swear

[i-am-a-fish]

f

[goddesssword]

yes go on

[i-am-a-fish]

im nervous

[drgonzoattournyatlaw]

Out with it, fish!

[burgrs1994-deactivated20151224]

I failed my final because a GIRL sitting next to me was wearing a TANK TOP ad i saw her sholders and got distracted all the blood in my brain went to my huge Dong

[drgonzoattournyatlaw]

Nah you’re just plain old stupid. I would sit next to the hottest, most bare-shouldered girls in class and pass all my finals with a massive, raging hard-on. Git Gud, ya dingus.

[drgonzoattournyatlaw]

Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures, Caleb..... #rickandmorty #ricksanchez #wubbalubbadubdub #sezchuansauce #mrmeeseeks (at CNN Center)

[drgonzoattournyatlaw]

"Yeah? Well, my god has a hammer" -Nick Fury #thor #sonofodin #marvellegends #twilightofthethundergod

[drgonzoattournyatlaw]

#marvellegends #elektra #daredevil #bullseye #manwithoutfear

[aggressivesurfmuzic-deactivated]

Is My Anxiety Making My Stomach Sick or is My Sick Stomach Making Me Anxious: A Short Biography

[drgonzoattournyatlaw]

Get you a beer, dude.

[drgonzoattournyatlaw]

"You're just one bad day away from bein' me, Red...." #thepunisher #frankcastle #marvellegends

[beautifulblackmen]

[drgonzoattournyatlaw]

This is a painting called "Before White Man" depicting plains Indians following the buffalo herds. Every time I look at it, I feel a great sense of loss; it's something few ever saw and something we'll never have again. #boothwesternartmuseum #plainsindians