hey hey hey mr hangman go get your rope

27, Long Island, 80% of the time I'm working Insta: brooklynisburning Snapaholics anonymous: ohgeeitsme

[hall--o--ween]

[slavery]

Me as a porn director

Ok everyone lets get out there and bust a nut

[purplebuddhaproject]

“I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life.”

—

Voltaire

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

[drownyourhopes]

Congratulations to these two majestic creatures on finally tying the knot. From wing nights and beach adventures, to camping and late-night backyard bonanzas, we've made some great memories so far and yesterday was no different. Hands down one of the best weddings I've ever attended, let alone was blessed to be a part of. I'm so excited to see what the future holds for the new Mr and Mrs Malone! #oncealonenowamalone #redwhiteandboozy #wifedup #maresfacethough

[underrstood]

brand new // guernica

[adrenaline]

[drownyourhopes]

Most times we stay in and do nothing, sometimes we get dressed up and go on dates; no matter what we're always ridiculous #thisisdatenight #buffalomike #pastapasta #classybitches #restaurantweek #hailsatan #pastabelly #hashtag

[dudeholdmybeer-deactivated20180]

no, it’s wasps

[weedandsexthings]

When just a normal blunt is too easy..

[humorstaff]

[throwbackblr]

[spoken-like-a-true-sadboi]

Walmart employees at midnight

[littlesuperstition]

any retail job, period.

[drownyourhopes]

Happy Birthday to my wonderful, amazing boyfriend Mike!! I'm so lucky that 31 years ago you came into this world so I could have you now. Thank you for inspiring me everyday to do what makes me happy, to be more creative,and to live with no regrets. I love you and I can't wait to celebrate with you tonight and forever! @ihavethekavorka #happybirthdaymike #bestmanintheworld #loveyoulongtime

[limit]

HAHAHAHAHHAHA OMG

[limit]

HAHAHAHAHHAHA OMG

[oyesiam1]

Thank you Ellen for showing as once again how to react to homophobia with class and humour.

x

[drownyourhopes]

My bitches know how to design bomb ass TP wedding gowns #tpweddingdress #aubsandambrose2018 #prettyshitty #winnawinnas (at The Oar Steak & Seafood Grill)

[ithelpstodream]

[theotheryongbok]

My man Jesus

[funnysowhatever2-deactivated201]

What story is that?

[ffermented-salmonella-deactivat]

Matthew 18:9

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”

[beachfox-deactivated20181218]

“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”

“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”

“wut”

“What?”

“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”

“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”

“Uh….”

“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”

[keab42]

Canon Jesus > Fanon Jesus.

[spyderqueen]

Jesus: Well that sounds like a YOU problem.

[purplelittlemermaid]

^^