(Azul Ashengrotto x femreader)
Synopsis: When feeling insecure due to perfectionist tendencies, you try your hardest to make up for what youre "lacking" by doing Azul's classwork late one night. Azul finds you in the lounge and confronts you about it.
Notes: established relationship โ sort of begining/new relationshipโbit of angst? (considering the reader views themselves as less than good enough for Azul)โfluffโcomfortโreader is prefect
Nothing you did seemed to help you sleep. Not the warm blankets. Not the dimly lit room. Not even your boyfriend's gentle snores could help you. You just tossed and turned without any avail, causing Azul to mutter soft complaints while he slept. Not wishing to wake him, you decided to quietly slip out of his hold and head to the lounge to make something to drink. After all, if you couldnt sleep, maybe it was better to just wake up for the day.
Even if it was two in the morning.
Perhaps Azul had some papers he'd accidentally left out that you could organize? Not that Azul was one for leaving important things lying around, but sometimes there would be a stray contract after a long day or maybe some of his unfinished classwork.
As you made your way to the lounge your eyes drifted over the glass hallways, the fish swimming around melodically and the light reflecting against the floor. A small shiver travled up your spine. Perhaps coming out in your pajamasโwhich was really just Azul's shirt and your shortsโwasnt the best idea. It was always a cooler temperature in octavinelle with the water anyways.
Instead of going back though, you opted for brewing a warm drink and sinking into one of the couches that was near the heated vents. To your enjoyment you shifted Azul's papers in your hands and went over them silently. It was his history of magic homework from today's class, and thankfully that was the one class you actually understood.
Unfortunately for you, being the only one without magic definitely felt like a huge disadvantage most of the time. Especially whenever your overworked boyfriend came back to his room and you couldnt even help take the load of schoolwork off his plate. It made you feel helplessโฆlike maybe if he had someone elseโhe wouldnt be so stressed all the time. You know, someone who could actually help him with magic?
Just thinking about it made you even more restless. Perhaps thats why you hadnt been able to sleep. Especially not after Azul got off work from the lounge exhausted and you couldnt do anything to help him. You felt so unqualified for this. For being his girlfriend.
A soft sigh escaped your lips. You could help with this.
And so you took one more sip of your tea before getting to work.
โโโโ ๐ โ๏ฝก๐ฆนยฐโง โโโโ
Back in Azul's room he grew cold, his usual warmth of your body against his making him stir. His hands immediately reached for you, only to feel the chill of the sheets instead. He groaned and slowly opened his eyes searching for your figure. Maybe he'd accidentally took up too much space and you were on the edge or something? But as his blurry vision focused enough to realize you were no where to be seen, he froze.
When he found you in the lounge his heart nearly skipped a beat, his worries fading as he walked over to you. He tightened his robe and pushed his glasses closer to his face. Nearing you he saw you holding papers, your hand writing in hurriedโalmost agitated motions.
You looked up slowly to see Azul a few feet from the couch, his hair sticking up a little from rolling in his sleep. โOhโฆhey Azul,โ you smiled weakly, โI didn't wake you, did I?โ
He shook his head. โNoโฆno. I justโฆwoke up.โ He replied softly, taking another step closer to see what you were scribbling away at. โWhats thatโฆโ He began, only to pause when it clicked to him what you had in your hands.
He immediately frowned. โWhat are you doing my papers for?โ His shifted within seconds, going firm as he crouched next to you. His hand came up to take the papers from your grasp. Your stomach twisted slightly as you handed them over.
โOโoh I figured I could help you with it so you wouldn't be behind tomorrow.โ You replied, your nervous tone making his lips turn down even more. โPearl, I appreciate your help,โ He sighed, rubbing his head in frustration. โbut you should be sleeping right now.โ He put the papers on the table behind him, his eyes catching the few cups of tea sprawled across the glass sufcace. Just how long had you been up doing this?
You sat up slowly as you heard him sorting through the pages, all of them filled in but the last one. You had completed thirteen pages of history questions in the span of an hour. For a second he deeply appreciated it, not mad at your enthusiasm to help. However, he didnt want you sacrificing your sleep for his school work. You didnt have to. Nothing on the contract he'd signed with you mentioned anything about you having to do things for him like this. Surely, he assumed it was a sign of love, but you had been trying to do so much for him as of late. So why this too?
He turned to face you, his gaze uncertain. Silence filled the room between the two of you as you waited for his reaction. But enough was expressed in his eyes.
โDid I umโโ You paused, your mind racing with the potential fear that he was somehow mad at you for doing his work.
โDid I do something wrong?โ You murmured weakly, the tone of your voice only twisting the knife deeper into his heart. He moved on instinct, his hands reaching to cup your cheeks while he searched for any sign of explanation on your face. โDo something wrong?โ He nearly laughed. Did you seriously think he was mad about you doing the work itself?
โDarling, why would you think such a thing?โ His voice quaked and he brushed his thumb across your cheek, trying to think of anything that would have made you feel such a way.
โWell I know I'm not the best of help for your other classesโโ you trailed off, unable to look him in his eyes. โB-but I'm good at history of magic! I can help you with that, at leastโฆโ
A wave of deeper confusion hit Azul. He picked apart you words quickly though. Once he did, he only felt worse.
โAt least?โ He repeated, catching the insinuation in your tone. The insecurity. The feeling helplessness that he tried so hard to take off your shoulders when you first started dating. It still seemed to linger though every now and then. But the way he saw it? You didnt need to carry his burdens for him. And you especially didnt need to feel bad when you couldnt carry them.
Before you could blink he had his arms around you, your body tensing momentarily until you returned the favor, slipping your arms around his torso. He squeezed you tight, his lips brushing against your outer ear. โDarling, please come back to bed.โ
โI don't need you to do my homework. I dont need you to worry about the things you can or canโt do for me.โ He whispered. โI didnt ask for anything but you in that contact. And I mean that,โ He murmured, placing a soft kiss beneath your ear. โYou're perfect the way you are,โ His breath shook and you could feel the tears filling your eyes. โYou're perfect for me.โ
โโโโ ๐ โ๏ฝก๐ฆนยฐโง โโโโ
His arms gently wrapped under your legs as he pressed a soft kiss to your neck, shifting your weight in his arms to lift you up from the couch. You wrapped your legs around his waist so you wouldn't fall, his hands supporting you as he made his way back to his room. He could clean up the tea and papers tomorrow. Right now he was more concerned with you.
Stepping inside his door he could feel you tightening your hold on him. He glanced down at your face, your eyes still watery as you tried to hide against his chest.
He hated how insecure you felt. How little you thought of yourself when it came to him. But he could only be so mad. He understood it to an extent. He'd thought the same about himself many times. But, he was gonna fix that. He was going to fix every preconceived notion you had against yourself as a girlfriend. No matter what it took.
With a few minutes of situating and he made sure you were comfortable, you ended up back in the same position you were when you first came over. You arms were around his neck, and one of his arms sat around your waist while the other rubbed the nape of your neck.
You thanked him anxiously for his sweet words he had said earlier. But upon him asking if you felt any better now, you still felt undeserving of him.
He was a great student. He was a great scammer businessman, and he was great at magic. You were barely one of those things.
But you were great as his girlfriend. To him you were worth everything.
He listened to your concerns, only nodding as you spoke so you could get things off your chest. While you explained your feelings, his eyes never strayed from yours. He kept a gentle touch at your neck, running his hands into your hair when he noticed you biting your lip or struggling to talk to him, trying to keep you soothed through the entire thing so you wouldn't keep anything bottled up. And thankfully you kept speaking.
In the end he understood every supposed โissueโ you had with yourself. And despite the time it took, despite the hour it was, despite how tired he wasโฆhe spent the time to rebuttle you on how wrong those statements were in his eyes.
โIts not true you know,โ he smiled, tilting your chin up slowly to bring your face closer to his. โYou don't have to be good, or useful, or the most skilled for someone to care about you. For you to be loved.โ He leaned in slowly, his lips meeting yours in a tender embrace. Your breath shoke from emotion, his lips immediately parting to let you breathe. โIt's okayโฆyoure okay, my pearl.โ He whisperd reassuringly while his fingers slowly traveled to your back, resting under your shirt to rub small shapes and patterns against your skin. You sighed once more, as you struggled to steady the emotions bubbling up in your chest. Your throat tightened as you tried not to break down in front of him.
You tried to process his affectionate words. Tried to process the idea that you didnt have to do anything to earn his love.
He could sense it too. The way you held onto your insecurities like a vice grip. He too knew what it was like to feel less than adequate. To feel useless. But thats exactly why he wouldโnt fall asleep until he knew you felt better.
Not until you knew just how much he loved you. His darling. His shining pearl.
With one last kiss he brought your face to his chest, resting his chin atop your head as he continued to rub your back.
โJust get some rest, pearl. Justโฆlet me love you.โ He pleaded. He felt your arms tightening around him and he did the same, pulling you closer till your bodies couldn't be any more together. Usually Azul was a bit cautious with letting you so closed physically. However, tonight it just feltโฆdifferent.
And thats how he knew you were the only one for him. His one and only choice. He just had to make sure you knew such things.
So, as he felt your body eventually fall limp and succumb to sleep, he began to think of every possible way he could spoil you in affection tomorrow.
Because Azul was not going to rest until you accepted that you were just as good as a girlfriend as he thought you were.
โ โ โ โ หห โห๊ฉ๏ฝก หห โ โ โ โ
I hope you enjoyed my first fic! I do apologize if there is any grammatical errors or like the dialogue is slightly off? Im working on writing conversations so they dont sound too stiff lol.
If you enjoyed this please look forward to more writings to come as this is my first one and I've gone through so many ideas to just get to this haha. But I'm definitely going to keep working on more!
Also if you have any feedback or tips let me know! Thanks for reading! - your dear author, moonflower.
(Don't feed this to ai or Jade will eat you like he ate his siblings~)
No but seriously. Don't. โก