gayest of gays.

❝ It would be offensive to anyone in the room who has an adopted child or is an adopted child, and for you to SAY that... I chose to be Sofia's mother! It did not fall into my lap. There was a choice and I could stay or I could run, and I chose m o t h e r h o o d. And it was the best choice that I ever made. ❞ arizona robbins. mother, tiny human doctor.

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lydiatrs:

It had been a couple of weeks since finals had ended for Lydia, but she had elected to stay on campus to help out with graduation and send her friends off. She figured staying busy for a little while longer would help keep her mind off things. Lydia decided to take an earlier flight than the one she had told her family in order to surprise them a little. She took a cab from the airport to the hospital, hoping to catch her parents or someone from her family. Lydia headed in, knowing the hospital hallways well. She set her eyes on the lounge, opening the door hoping to find a member of her family. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt what…what exactly is it that you’re doing?”

Hopping around the lounge one legged not exactly her daily schedule but after another gurney accident, she needed to dig her other leg out of where she’d stored it. Just as she was grabbing it, and sitting back on the couch to get it back on,  the door popped open. It wasn’t at the point anymore where she hid the stump, for lack of a better term, from people anymore the didn’t register that it was her daughter that’d walked in. The girl had promised a later flight so that the family could all be together so she didn’t think about the fact that it could be her daughter. Not  even looking up as she strapped it on with practiced hands,  the blonde huffed. “These damn interns don’t know anything about how to watch out for other --” Eyes glanced up  and a bright smile moved onto futures. “Lyds!  It’s not tonight yet. What are you doing here?!”

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jac.

Almost as if she had forgotten Arizona’s presence in the room, Jac immediately stood and started taking the infant’s vitals as soon as he was back in the incubator. Her shoulders shrugged at Arizona’s words, “it’s not a big deal. But it means a lot.” Her brow furrowed, hearing Arizona’s words. They were simple words, and words that Arizona probably didn’t put an ounce of thought into. But Jacqueline had only ever started experiencing kindness a few months ago, starting with the officer who helped her away from the wreckage. A sweet smile formed on her lips, “if you hadn’t told me about your thing for married women, I’d be absolutely baffled at the ex-wife thing. Offering to hold babies for someone ‘round the clock? What more do you need from someone?”

“Hey, I do a lot for my friends,” the ones that she could keep anyways. Fingers ran through the tangles in the blondes hair and she sighed softly. It was ridiculous just  thinking about how many friends that she’d lost with her idiotic choices but it didn’t matter now, it was too late to go back. That’s what she tried to remind herself every second that she got sad about her life, about one brunette in particular. Moving closer to the other but only slightly, Arizona couldn’t help but laugh, “what can I say, I’m great -- minus the whole not being able to respect vows and not be a hoe.” A wink followed as she did her best to stay joking.  “We can’t all really be saints though.”

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jac.

“I know,” she nodded, “I know that.” The words were true, but Jacqueline couldn’t match her feelings up to them. No matter how much she was OK with herself not wanting babies, and had been for years, now there was another factor. It wasn’t that she felt obligated to let Spencer have one thing that she wanted, but she really did feel like it was the least she could do. That was how she was raised, not letting anyone do any favors for her that could potentially be held over her head. Snapping back into the present, Jac managed to catch the tail end of Arizona’s words, letting her lips curve upwards a bit. “That sounds like a fairly valid reason to change your mind,” Jac teased, shrugging her shoulders. “Thank you. For being kind. And for holding the baby. Because if you weren’t here, I’d be forced to have an intern do it. They’re not good company.”

Sot sigh escaped her mouth and Arizona bit her lip. Though the woman at lea knew that she didnt have to do anything that she wanted, it didn’t seem like she much knew much of what to do, Glancing down at the baby who was asleep in her arms, the brunette nodded her head, "I guess so,” she nodded softly before standing up and setting the baby back down in the incubator thing-y.  Reaching for her bra and shirt where she set it, shoulders lifted and she smiled at the other woman as she tossed the articles on again. “Hey, it’s no big deal, if you ever have to hold a baby, you can totally page me and if I’m not already in surgery I’m your girl.” Gentle promise fell as she tugged her hair from under the collar of her scrub top.

[drrcbbiins]

imessage | mommy

mckeltie: sorry... i feel like we don't even talk much anymore. especially after i told you jordan and i are engaged... are you and mama mad at me or something? cause... i'm not a baby, i can handle hearing your opinions.

arizona: well we can talk about anything.. you know that. i've been busy.. i've just switched of brae with amelia and, i've had long shifts. i'm not mad, i don't know about mama because we haven't really talked that much lately, but.. i just don't think its such a good idea, sweetheart. you don't know if that's what you're going to want once you graduate. i just think you're rushing for something that might change.

[drrcbbiins]

imessage | mommy

mckeltie: sorry. oversharing, got it. but i mean it's better to know than wonder right? i promise we're safe. sex isn't anything new for me.

arizona: oh my god, mckeltie. enough, /please/. this is really the last thing i want to talk about well i'm laying in bed, trying to sleep.

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jac.

Nodding slowly, Jac leaned back into the chair a little. She tucked a few stray hairs behind her ear, her eyes fixated on the blank wall behind Arizona for a few moments. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to look at Arizona, it was the baby. Jacqueline had already acquired quite the distaste for children and babies alike, though lately it only seemed to be getting stronger. “My mentor used to go mad over it,” she started softly, the slightest smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. “But I…” Jac scrunched her nose a little, inhaling sharply. “I don’t like babies. At all.” The admission left her lips a tad louder than her other words. “There… my, um, wife and I had a… we talked about babies a little bit ago and I still…” she shook her head. Clearing her throat, Jacqueline looked up, “I can tolerate them. Here, mostly. But I think I could tolerate one of my own, I’d just… I can’t like them.” Another few moments of silence and Jac looked at Arizona again, “you didn’t… ask for this. I’m sorry. I just don’t really have anyone else and you… delcared that we’re friends now, so… maybe you did actually ask.”

Shifting the baby slightly in her arms, Arizona couldn’t help the small smile on her lips until the other woman started speaking. She wasn’t one to judge, especially because she hadn’t wanted a baby until she literally got Sofia’s heart beating, no matter what she’d told anyone else. “That’s okay, you know?” The woman interjected softly, her eyes glancing at the other instead of the baby, “babies aren’t for some people. No matter what anyone says, you don’t even have to want them, even if your job involves babies.” Shoulders lifted, and Arizona found herself sighing, “I didn’t used to want babies, and I didn’t change my mind until my now ex wife had our daughter and I had to restart her heart. But, that doesn’t mean you have to change your mind or anything. No way.” Reassuring smile on her features, the blonde nodded. “You’re right, we are friends, you can totally talk to me about anything!”

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imessage | mommy

mckeltie: we're always safe. i'm on the pill. i use the after morning pill. we occasionally use a condom if i'm really paranoid and we're pretty much pros at the pull out method so. no grandbabies from me for a while. at least not until i'm out of high school.

arizona: honey, i know you're on the pill -- i legally have to know. And I didn't ask for all the other info, but thanks for keeping me updated.

[drrcbbiins]

imessage | mommy

mckeltie: are we about to have the sex talk? cause... i kinda know about it already.

arizona: no.. 'cause that's mamas job but just be safe, you know 'cause i can't stop you. but also, just be safe, okay? one grandchild is enough.

[drrcbbiins]

imessage | mommy

mckeltie: nothing mommy

arizona: this is a conversation that i don't want to have. but.. you're /small/ still.. you shouldn't be.. doing that. any of that.

[drrcbbiins]

imessage | wrong number

mckeltie: i don't call anyone else daddy shut up

mckeltie: *typing*

mckeltie: oh. awkward.

arizona: pardon me?

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amelia.

It had to be due to the fact that sleep still lingered in her eyes that Arizona looked like she was crying, or at least that’s what Amelia thought. After blinking a few times, and yawning once, Amelia quickly realized that it wasn’t the case. Those were definitely super-sad-Arizona tears. “Arizona,” brows furrowed even tighter, and Amelia carefully lifted the sleeping child from her lap, gently laying her down on the couch. She made sure Braelynne was comfortable, or at least looked comfortable, before slowly standing up. “You’re…” Eyes narrowed, and Amelia drew in a deep breath. She didn’t want to start any kind of argument, but it felt like it was something worth bringing up. “You have shoes on,” her voice was still a little raspy, and almost childlike from the sleep that still lingered.

The second Amelia grew awake enough to notice that her shoes were on, the blondes smile fell quicker than she could’ve wanted it to. Another excuse, she needed another excuse because she couldn’t possibly say this could’ve been our life, no way. Stepping further into the room as she began to think Arizona shook her head. Maybe changing the subject would work, she could only hope. “Yeah -- I guess I do,” kicking off her shoes Arizona gave Amelia a quick smile and shook her head. “I’m really fine though, ‘Melia.. nothing to worry about.” Soft words fell and she blew out a breath of nervous air. before shaking her head. “You’re tired.. you should go home.. get some rest.” A nice person would offer the couch but Arizona wasn’t sure she should do that, yet before she went to change the subject, words tumbled from her mouth. “Or.. you could stay here? Just for a while.. I mean, until you aren’t so sleepy.”

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'melia.

Being a helpful saint was really all fun and games until you were stuck with a three year old and an exceptionally high maintenance six year old for two nights in a row. Luckily, just as that third night seemed inevitable, Amelia got that godsend of a text that let her know that Braelynne was going to stay with Arizona for that last night. So, early in the evening, she headed over to Arizona’s apartment and used the spare key Sofia had given her to get inside. As it turned out, Braelynne was just as exhausted from being with Aiden as Amelia was, and it didn’t take long for them both to end up on the couch, cuddled up and sound asleep for who knew how long. It only felt like a second before Amelia’s eyes opened and she saw the blurry image of what she assumed was Arizona standing near the door. Amelia sat up, as much as she could with the child on her lap. “Hey,” she rasped, “sorry, sleeping wasn’t on the to-do list, but—” she pasued, brows furrowing at the blonde. “Are you okay?”

@drrcbbiins

How quickly did Arizona try to rush out of work because she knew she was getting Brae? Pretty fucking quickly, she didn’t want to make her granddaughter or Amelia wait, even though she knew the other woman had an extra key but then she was called into an emergency surgery and being the only fetal surgeon on hand, she had to do it. After a few more hours, maybe three she was finally outside of the apartment, apology on her tongue as she opened the door, only for it to die in her throat and tears to spring to her eyes at the sight she saw. Arizona was obviously an emotional crier but seeing Amelia with her granddaughter sleeping on the couch brought the tears to her eyes, thinking of what could’ve been if they ever worked out all those years ago. Of course, she far from regretted things with Callie because they gave her the family she had, and yet here was Amelia. Even though she was trying to move on, it never seemed to work.  A quick gasp at the brunettes force and she nodded. “Yeah, yes.. I’m fine I just.. stubbed my toe.” Wiping under her eyes, the blonde gave a quick smile as she tried to act like she wasn’t about to break in six billion pieces. No matter what, how was it always her?

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jac

There was a small smile tugging at the corners of Jac’s mouth at the visual that Arizona’s words gave her. Even growing up in a large family— though, calling it a family was a bit of a stretch— Jac’s parents never seemed remotely flustered. Which was likely due to the fact that she really didn’t care much about their children as children, only as workers. She would’ve gotten absolutely buried in her thoughts had Arizona’s question not pulled her away from them, her eyebrows raising a little. “Hm?” Eyes flicked back down to the baby, and Jac nodded, “oh, um, in a few days.” Arizona’s response to her question caused the brunette to shake her head a little, knowing damn well that her words were exactly right. Though, Jacqueline had always liked to believe that her reasoning behind the dislike was somewhat valid. Especially now more than ever. “Oh,” the word fell softly from Jac’s lips, shocked about just how okay with it Arizona was. She reached in and picked the baby up, gently handing him to Arizona with a small smile. Since she was the one who’d asked, Jac felt obligated to at least hang around. So, she pulled a chair closer and sat down, her bottom lip catching between her teeth. “Do you do this a lot?”

As she settled with the baby against her chest, a quiet noise escaped her throat. “Oh, well that’s good then,” soft words fell and the woman couldn’t help but smile. She was almost too enthralled by the baby to have a conversation. She loved them, but being a grandma was still second best. As the other woman sat down Arizona’s features shifted back up to her.  Maybe she should’ve grabbed a blanket to cover herself, but it was too late for that now. Plus, Jac was married so it didn’t matter. it couldn’t be all that awkward, nothing she hadn’t seen before or something.  The woman let the other take a few moments, the silence was actually pretty nice. Her question caught Arizona off guard and she smiled softly, almost tiredly as she did. “Oh  um, not really. I used to.. when I was strictly in peds, and when I was younger. I don’t at all get much of a chance anymore.”

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jac.

“A lot’s probably at least a little fun,” she admitted with a small smile, shrugging her shoulders. “Sometimes.” Jac looked up when Arizona spoke about her son’s profession, her eyebrows raising a little. There was almost something like a sting of envy at the blonde’s life for a moment, how convenient things sounded even just from one sentence. But Jacqueline quickly shrugged it off and shoved the thought to the back of her mind, knowing damn well that convenience was something she’d never experienced nor would she ever. Dwelling on the thought was absolutely useless. When Arizona questioned the baby, Jac’s eyes fell back down to the tiny sleeping human, “pyloric stenosis.” The answer was brief, her accent almost always disappearing when she spoke medical terminology. “Dr. Montgomery had me look at him a few days ago because she couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him,” she explained softly, clearing her throat, “his symptoms were a little off, but yesterday all of the tests done came back with shit results.” There was a momentary pause, just before Jac glanced back up at Arizona. “How into kangaroo mothering are you?”

“Mhmm, never a dull moment until they all need you at once and you’re running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off,” soft laughter fell through her lips and she breathed a quiet sigh at the infants condition. Small frown on her face at the news Arizona brushed blonde locks behind her ear and cringed, “that sucks. When’s his surgery?” The quiet question was asked and she glanced momentarily down at the baby before quickly looking up at the other woman. “More into it than you seem to be.” Arizona teased quietly before lifting her shoulders. “If it’ll help, I’ll do it. Just give me a sec.” Doing what she needed to do to get ready ( aka a smol half naked, sort of) before sitting down in the rocking chair in the corner and then reaching out for the baby, “here.”

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jac.

“Last I heard she was fine,” Jac said with a shrug, completely unaware of how absolutely not-very-motherly she sounded. Six. The blonde’s response caused Jacqueline’s eyebrows to raise rather quickly, “fuck, that’s a lot.” Words leaving her mouth accompanied by soft laughter without a single one of them going through her head? What’s new. “Shit. Sorry, I’m sorry, I meant to say: I really do that they’re alright,” Jac offered Arizona a sweet smile, the silence that fell over the two bringing Jac immediate discomfort. Clearing her throat, Jac stood up a little straighter. “What’s he do? Your son?”

A bright smile on the blondes face seemed to falter at the womans reaction to her own daughter. It was odd, but was it Arizona’s business? Not even close.  The snort that fell over the walls of nicu quickly turned to a laugh, Jac’s blunt humour catching her off guard just the slightest bit. “Yeah, it’s really a lot,” a slight shake of her head remembering when she didn’t even like kids, and sometimes she still didn’t depending on how shitty they acted from day to day.  Silence and Arizona found herself scuffing her sneaker against the floor before her smile grew gentle as she looked up. “He’s an EMT actually, apparently, doctor-y stuff runs in the family.” Shoulders lifted and she nudged a finger towards the baby  near Jacqueline, “what’s up with him?”

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jac.

“Yeah,” Jac nodded a little, only realizing a few seconds later that she didn’t sound so sure of herself. “Yeah, yes. I do. She’s um… she’s somewhere here. She was on the boat, but now she’s here. I haven’t seen her yet, ‘cause that’s more of a… my wife is better with that stuff,” she trailed off, shaking her head. “How many do you have?” Jacqueline’s head cocked to the side a little, genuinely curious. “No news is good news, right? You’d know if any of them were hurt really bad by now.”

A brow rose for a moment until Arizona realized, not everyone was super great with comforting kids and then she smiled almost in understanding not that she really did. “Oh, yeah, that’s good. I hope she’s doing alright,” a slight sigh and the blonde couldn’t help but laugh. She didn’t mean for it to escape her, but it did anyway, probably out of nerves. “Uh, six. With my ex wife.. yeah. Six, and two were at the damn  ferryboats then my son went to help out,” but at the womans reassurance she couldn’t help but nod her head just enough to make it clear that she was listening. “Yeah, I guess.”