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Let's lighten the mood

The hot temperatures here in So Cal are doing nothing for my hot flashes, but I'm grateful that we live in an air conditioned home.

I'm grateful that my Lizzie is home for the summer, as it's a joy to see her beautiful face every day.

I'm delighted that Glen's new job is going super-duper well!

My David is having a great time (albeit an exhausting one) working at Webb this summer, herding 20 7th and 8th graders in Webb's summer program.

We're healthy, we're safe, and we're relatively content, I believe.

I guess no news is good news!

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Good lord, make it stop

How is it possible that I've lost a second girlfriend to breast cancer in as many months?

While she and I had not been close for some time, Dee Dee was forever one of my Job's Daughters sisters. We were in "the line" together back in the mid-80s (which means that we were both in line to assume the role of head officer). When I was Honored Queen, she was Marshal.

We also attended Corona Junior High School together and shared many a lunch, bag of Doritos and good conversation/gossip. As the time grew closer to my my installation as Honored Queen, I always remember Dee Dee fondly saying, "PSST!" and then holding up the number of fingers until installation day. She did this - for fun - for about two weeks. It was our inside joke.

Below is a photo from that wonderful occasion; I'm in the middle, and Dee Dee is on the far right.

Dee Dee was diagnosed with breast cancer at around the same time I was. She and I exchanged a few texts during the Pandemic to check on each other. I always - ALWAYS - figured there'd be more time to catch up.

Oh, sweet lady, you will be so missed. I simply cannot believe you've gone.

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Cancer sucks

Let me start off by saying that I am fine. I am lucky to be healthy, to have received amazing medical care when I was dealing with my breast cancer in the fall of 2020, and that right now I've been given a clean bill of health.

But when you learn that a of friend of yours - who had been in remission - has relapsed, and has cancer that's metastasized. It's scary.

When you learn that she died, it's a gut punch.

Stephanie was one of the most delightful, bubbly, positive ladies I'd ever met. Not only did she cut every one of our family member's hair, but she offered great conversation, good will, wisdom, and lessons of faith.

Stephanie left this world last Friday, leaving two young, little boys behind.

A fellow breast cancer warrior. Fierce. Brave. Faithful in her God. Beautiful.

Gone. Just like that. And it's terrifying - not just for me but for every woman I know who has traveled this road.

Once again, my friends, hug your loved ones. Get your yearly check ups. Listen to your body.

Oh, Stephanie. You were and are so loved.

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Hug your kids, my friends

For now, I have to be somewhat vague about this, but over the weekend I received a STARK REMINDER that life is short and that we really need to hug our loved ones just as often as possible.

Glen and the kids and I are just fine, by the way, as are all members of our extended family.

But, dang. I hope someone kept the receipt for the 2020s, because it appears this decade is defective.

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Spring Break

And now, a word about my kids being home.

It's awesome. David and Lizzie had one overlapping week for their schools' respective Spring Breaks, and the four of us were all under the same roof. It was like getting the band back together.

In the midst of this, though, is our move to a new home. We've decided to relocate - still within the same city - to a slightly larger house. With Glen and me both working from home, for the most part, elbow room was at a premium at our current digs.

It wasn't totally optimal that the majority of our focus during the kids' break was on moving stuff from one house to another, but I have to say that Lizzie and David were troopers about it. One week isn't nearly long enough to spend time with them at home. David and I had a chance to spend some one-on-one time when we drove out to the O.C. to visit my mom, but that was about it.

So. we're at the eve of David's return to New Orleans, but the good news is that he's back in about four weeks for summer vacation. I guess the spring term at Tulane ends earlier than most. I have no complaints about that.

And I have my Lizzie with me for another week; Webb has a two-week Spring Break. This makes me ever so pleased.

I really miss those rascals when they are not at home.

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It's been a minute

And the reason it's been a minute is because I'm getting messages from my universe that transparency and honesty are not always welcome. In fact, they are often frowned upon.

My goal in writing this blog was to be honest and open about my thoughts and opinions on any and all matters. And, yet, I've found myself self-editing and being more close to the vest for fear of agitating those who may take umbrage with my honesty, no matter how nicely I frame it.

Yes, I'm being coy here and, yes, I'm still keeping it close to the vest because I've been told that I really should keep my mouth shut. That my opinions and feelings don't matter.

And I'm just not sure if it's worth keeping a blog if I'm always in fear of reactions and constantly looking over my shoulder for criticism or the stink eye.

Maybe, of course, it's just a matter of me developing a thicker skin.

Or maybe it's a matter of other people getting used to the fact that I have a voice that is of my own making, no matter what others think my voice should (or should not) be.

If you're reading this and wondering whether I have YOU in mind whilst writing this, please ... just ask me. Because, chances are, I don't. You're good. We're good.

But, yes, it's been a long couple of weeks.

So, I guess I'll steer clear of agitating topics, and stick with general, menial current events, such as Harry and Meghan.

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And now ...

A moment of gratitude that I shared with my family today, via text of course (with some redactions).

(ahem)

"May I just share a moment of gratitude with the three of you? I keep remembering and reminding myself how DAMN LUCKY I am that the three of you comprise my core tribe.

"Holy shit, you three are the best. I was just arranging a few family photos here in the living room, and paused to look at each of them. I l love how we all look as though we're happy to be together (because I think, in those moments, we were). That we get along. That we're real with each other. That we can genuinely and truly talk about shit. Even the hard shit.

"How I hit the jackpot with you three I may never know, but I'll be eternally grateful.

“I think the four of us make a formidable team. Just saying. And not one to be trifled with, dammit.

"Okay, that is all. Back to my class prep."

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Snow

It's was no-shit showing in our neighborhood a few minutes ago.

Having completed my (almost) daily pilgrimage to McDonald's to procure my traditional repast of a Diet Coke and sausage burrito, I proceeded to drive east on Foothill Blvd. when it occurred to me. The wet condensation falling on the windshield of my car was ... splotching. Somewhat sticking. I looked out one of the side windows only to notice that the rainfall was no longer translucent.

Five minutes later, driving south on Mountain Ave. in Upland, it was officially. LITERAL SNOW. IN SO CAL. IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD.

It was a gorgeous sight to behold. I was taken back to the four years we lived in Chicago. Almost every single time I saw the snow come down, it was almost a religious experience for me. Magical. Breathtaking.

On Mountain Ave., I made a U-turn and proceeded to head north toward (but not into) the foothills of Claremont and Upland to see if the snow was at all more intense. And indeed it was. A literal snowfall. Not the weak type that melts upon impact. But the type that you can see accumulating on rooftops.

And it made me realize two things: 1) how much I loved the changing of the seasons when we lived in Chicago; and 2) how much I miss snow, its quiet beauty, its calming effects, its gracefulness.

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Well ...

It's been a minute. And a long couple of weeks, with a lot to process and think about.

In trying to keep it all on the positive side, today I had the absolute honor of creating two floral arrangements for my daughter's wonderful Godmother, who got married this afternoon. She and her fiancé had a small civil ceremony in the company of closest family members, in advance of their larger celebration slated for November. Not only was I thrilled to be able to do her bridal bouquet and an arrangement for their dinner party afterward, but I also was able to grab the bride a Diet Coke. My flower creation and delivery services are all encompassing.

My COVID is officially out the window, and it was nice to be back fully in the land of the living. But my reengagement in the real world was not without its challenges.

Tonight I'm missing having my kids at home to hang out with an enjoy. But my sweet Glen is here, and having enjoyed a lovely - and I do mean LOVELY - Valentine's Day together yesterday, I remain so grateful that he is my rock, my safe harbor and, truly, my home.

I leave you with photos of the flowers put together for the beautiful bride, my daughter's best friend, and truly a member of our family.

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Quarantine

I'm still under the proverbial "house arrest" as I isolate myself from the world and wait for my at-home Covid tests to show only one pink line. Alas, today was not that day.

I am both bored silly by hunkering down, and also relishing the calm, the ability to get caught up on a few things for my classes and for Job's Daugheters ... and to just be.

Having an excuse to sleep in is also a good thing.

I shouldn't take my case of Covid too lightly. It's not lost on me that I could have had a MUCh more serious case of this nasty bug. I know people who have lost dear friends and relatives to Covid, and I am humbled by it all.

I'm still asymptomatic (save for maybe a bit of phlegm/frog-in-my-throat thingy) and I am grateful.

I am pretty sure that Remy and the kitty cats are wondering why I am spending so much time on the sofa. Not that they're really complaining, mind you. They tend to curl up right next to me, and it's wonderful. Well, that is, they do so when they are not guarding David's bedroom in his absence.

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Covid is boring

Just when I thought COVID-19 was going out of style, I have finally joined the ranks of the afflicted. I tested positive for the very first time yesterday, and it annoys me to no end.

Let me be clear: I am one of the extremely lucky ones. I currently have NO symptoms. I only did a test on a whim yesterday because my sense of taste and smell were a bit "off" and, ahead of meeting friends for dinner, I though I should just make sure all was well.

And then, gentle reader, two pink lines popped out. And I know that I'm not pregnant.

So, I am now in home quarantine, having repaired to my daughter's room at home. Remy, our Maltipoo, has assigned himself the role of Chief Resident, curling up beside me without fail and providing emotional therapies as needed.

I'm so lucky I feel fine. I am lucky that vaccines are available and that I'm up to date on all of them.

I am thinking this might be the Good Lord's way of telling me, "you need to clear your calendar for a few days and just ... BE. Rest. Enough. Turn off your brain."

Easier said than done for me, but I'll give it a go.

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Video

I can't look. I just cannot look.

There's enough hate and violence and vitriol in the world without the additional trauma of the video that shows the brutal murder of an innocent man in Memphis.

I appreciate and respect the public's right to understand and bear witness to know what transpired. For those with the stomach and courage to watch this ordeal, you have my respect.

As for me, my little heart just cannot take it. If this makes me weak or cowardly, or being perceived as being unable to face the reality of the horrors of racial divides in our country, I understand. I get it. From what I heard in the news, the young man was crying for his mom. As a mom, I don't think I could take it.

God rest his soul. God protect his mom. God help us all.

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I'm sick of it

I'm so over "moments of silence," and "thoughts and prayers," and politicians, pundits, and other loudmouths bloviating about gun rights.

I'm just OVER IT.

What will it take for our state and federal politicians to realize that there's absolutely no modicum of sense in allowing private citizens to own assault rifles? Of course I don't wish tragedy on anyone at any time. But, what if a key member of Congress's family was put in harm's way due to some nut job having access to a gun that he/she has no absolutely business carrying?

What will it take for people to understand that the Second Amendment to our Constitution served a good purpose ... back when the Constitution was created and when the United States did not have a formal militia? When we had no choice but to fend for ourselves? When we didn't have formalized law enforcement to patrol our streets and protect our livelihoods?

Let me be clear: I have many, MANY friends who are law-abiding gun owners. I have absolutely no problem - ZERO, ZIP, NADA - with citizens having small firearms on hand for self protection in their home. After background checks. After mandated gun safety training. After some sort of certification. After ensuring that their ownership and possession of a weapon will not be a risk to themselves or others.

But no one ... NOT ONE PRIVATE CITIZEN ... needs an AR15 "just because." That is utter bullshit.

I wish I had the guts to run for political office on this particular platform. But I can read the room and I am quite sure I'd be laughed off the stage at my first debate.

But the one thing I make sure to do now is to NOT vote for any politician who has received any sort of campaign donation from the NRA. Even my grandfather, who knew Charlton Heston - that gun toting, "out of my cold dead hands" NRA poster child - back in the SAG-AFTRA days refused to vote for Heston for President of SAG. My grandfather recognized a whacko when he saw one.

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Maybe every other day?

My track record for daily blogging is ... not going well.

I can attest to the fact that life is, in fact, never dull. I think that's a good thing. I am multitasking with some machine embroidery, reading/editing dissertation drafts for some of my students, Zoom meetings, and a smattering of laundry.

As I looked ahead to my calendar for this week, I realized that 1) It's a full schedule, and 2) I'm pooped. The fact that I had bad dreams last night doesn't help matters much, either. The dreams involved my mom, but I called her this morning and she assured me that she's fine and dandy.

Our Job's Daughters meeting is tonight, and I'm having to send my regrets due to being pulled into other meetings. The schedule of a volunteer is not for the faint of heart, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

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Oops

So much for writing a daily blog entry. But I mean well!

As you can see from the photos included here, this weekend was filled with different forms of frivolity. To start, I had the chance to do a bit of “cos play” and channel my inner Taylor Swift. The occasion? An all-girls birthday party hosted by a sweet friend of mine. We were required to dress as Pop Divas.

So, here’s the inspiration:

Here’s how I turned out:

It was riotous fun seeing how 60 middle-aged women pulled together their individual creativity and tap into their inner rock star. And I have to give full credit to my daughter’s godmother, Bailey, for the divine hair and makeup.

Capping the weekend off was a delightful celebration of Lunar New Year with Lizzie and her Job’s Daughters gal pals … and parents! I can think of no better way to pause, pay tribute to and show respect for the families of those who were gunned down in Monterey Park last night.

One of these days, I’ll be doing a blog post wherein I dive deep into my arguments against the 2nd Amendment. Yes. I went there.

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Respite

A quick trip to Palm Springs to spend time with an old friend was just the get-away I needed.

I went under the guise of meeting their new doggie - a spry, petite Italian Greyhound by the name of Jackie - but mostly it was to spend time in the gorgeous desert with a dear friend.

Remy and I piled into the car yesterday afternoon and make the 90-minute journey to PS. Despite the usual traffic on the east-bound I-10, the drive was a cinch. And the weather out there was gorgeous.

It was a teaching night for me, so I also brought my laptop and facilitated my Thursday evening class from the comfort of their dining room table, after which we ran off for a lovely dinner.

An early morning breakfast preceded another Zoom call, and then Remy and I piled back into the car, drove to Upland and met Glen for lunch.

The cherry on top of an otherwise wonderful day was a quick visit by Elizabeth to the house tonight. She and Glen grabbed dinner (at a burger joint that's not my favorite but I'm happy for them to go), and then came home for a spell for some silly frivolity. As you can see in the photos below, I loved being surrounded by good humor, good friends, and my lovely tribe.

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London

I just completed a video call/meeting with the fundraising team at the American School in London. Goodness, time spent with those amazing people is always time well spent, and makes me ever more wistful for that beautiful city ... and that amazing school.

David and Elizabeth attended ASL for two years - fall 2017 through spring 2019, while our family lived in London for Glen's ex-pat assignment for work. Those years were nothing short of formative for Lizzie and David, and pretty much a religious experience for me.

Getting updates about alumni programming, school fundraising (including the Auction Benefit at the Natural History Museum coming up in March), takes me right back and almost makes me want to hop on a jet and fly out to help one my London friends with the Auction set up.

Until then, I'm so glad to be part of ASL's alumni/parent alumni advancement committee. It helps me to feel that, in a small way, I'm still part of that incredibly special institution.