cvrdad:
sebastian’s heart sank as he continued to criticize himself, releasing a sigh. ❛ rob, you’re an amazing person. you have a thrill for adventure; an incredible, creative mind; friends that care about you and a good heart deep down behind your facade. you still have the opportunity to change the things you don’t like in your life — for the better. things won’t change overnight, but you do have good in you — so much. ❜
he knows — god does he know — when he first started this, it wouldn’t all be smooth sailing, and that it would probably be a long process; but sometimes it feels like nothing’s changed, like he hasn’t changed. like nothing he does matter. not when he falls back to the same old habits and vices. (other people have it far worse he knows, like ones so addicted to drugs that their body shuts down without it.) but still... “it all seems so futile.” he sighs, scrubbing his hand down his face, eyes red-rimmed.
getting back on his feet just seems too far, too impossible. he’s not disillusioned to the fact that his feelings for bass are returned, though for the life of him, he cannot phantom why; and that he is grossly undeserving of such. how could he ever hope to compare to alex? “i just — ” wished i was better? it’ll be easier? he doesn’t know. yet, despite it all, Sebastian’s words touches something within him, and he turns, managing a small uncertain but genuine smile, “thanks bass. you... it means a lot to me.”
