Hello. It's been a while. I am back
I remember when I first drew this comic. I don't remember when or why I stopped. However, I do know that when I did stop, it wasn't exactly a good time for me. I remember being embarrassed about myself, and my art. I remember thinking that it was "cringe", and that I was cringe for making it in the first place. I remember believing, for whatever reason, that whatever I did wasn't making a difference to anyone, and that I was wasting my time.
However, this all changed when I received a text message from one of my old friends from school.
She told me that she missed me, and she asked me how I was. I said that I was doing fine, and then we had a conversation. One of the first things that she mentioned was this Russian Mafia comic that I drew back then (some people liked to watch me while I drew, and she was one of them). She told me how much she enjoyed reading my comics, and she said that she hoped I was still drawing it, because she thought it was great.
That changed everything for me.
Before then, I never really had that high of an opinion of my own art. There was even a time were I threw away and deleted any evidence that I drew anything at all, because I was just so afraid of being "cringe" (luckily, this blog survived). But after that conversation, suddenly, everything shifted. I remembered how all my friends watched me draw. I remembered how people told me how great it was. I remembered how happy my friends were every time I uploaded a new page. I even remember an inside joke that I added in there once.
How could I have forgotten that?
It was almost as if, that whole time, I somehow became stranded in a kind of cruel darkness, where I wasn't able to see anything outside of my own fears and insecurities. That darkness might have been depression. That darkness might have been anxiety. But it's okay now. I pulled out of it.
I am looking through my comic pages now, and even though the shading was off, the coloring was inconsistent, the overall quality was barely readable and the anatomy seemed to have gone through spaghettification, I don't hate it at all. In face, I like it even more for that. Because it's art. Because people enjoy it. Because it was new. Because it told a story. That's why it's beautiful. Because I made it, and I put in a lot of work and energy to make it as great as I possibly could. That alone, and nothing else, is what makes art so valuable in the first place.
I am not cringe. My art is not cringe. There was not a single moment in time where anything I did was ever cringe at all. What I made was always beautiful, no matter how long it took me to recognize it.
And if you are reading this, you are not cringe either. Everything you do, like everything I did, is just as beautiful and valuable as anything else that anyone could have made.
So what will happen to Russian Mafia AU now?
Because it has been so long, a lot has changed, including my art style and mechanisms. I have also learnt new storytelling techniques, and know different ways of developing a plot. That's why I'm going to completely revive and renovate Russian Mafia AU into a newer, fresher comic:
Russian Mafia AU: Revolutionized (it's funny because Russian Revolution)
Don't worry, it's not going to be that different from the original. All the original characters will be there, plus all the original plot points that I planned out will be going in there too. I am also hoping that the revived version will be better quality, and more readable too.
When will the new version be out?
Dunno lol. I'm not that good with deadlines so I can't make any promises, but I'm going to aim for one page every two weeks, which seems pretty reasonable.
If you have any questions or memes or something, feel free to ask.
And remember: If I can revive my comic after 3 years of doing nothing, then you can do absolutely anything at all. Never give up on your dreams, even if you think they're long overdue. There is always hope. You can always start again, or start over, or continue right where you left it. I hope this atrocious comic can be proof of that.
I love you, and I'll always believe in you. And so will Artyom.
dededos
annaxmalina
titsay
yousharknotpass
germansingergirl
theartofmadeline
