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Adam Scott is being typecast as an elevator.

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I'll never show my face again.

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There are parts of myself that I haven't accessed in decades.

The word "myself" looks like ascii art of a daybed.

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A man on YouTube live was selling the lungs of some animal and he inflated them to show how juicy they were and I-

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Growing up my mom really liked the show "how I met your mother" and I found out I was lactose intolerant because she said I was "allergic to-wait for it-dairy B-)"

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I'm glad I'm not physically stuck in a cave.

Autocorrect tried to change "physically" to "phat".

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Inside of each of us are two wolves

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Selling my soul on Facebook Marketplace (TM)

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Forget bad hair day, I'm having a no hair day

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"This oil isn't even refined"

"Ok, crude"

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The leaves applaud the wind.

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My parents named me "cheeseburger hamburger"

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The sound blended in-

to the blended din.

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What if a wizard misspells you?