there are no men like me.

mr. joshua davenport cafe and country club psychology major twenty one years benningtonian baby blues "there are no bargains between lion & men. i will kill you & eat you raw."

[gael-garcia]

[purplebuddhaproject]

I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.

Maya Angelou (via purplebuddhaproject)

[aurorharry]

I think one of my favorite things to do is just lock myself up in a small room and listen to music and watch films for a day. Also I just like seeing my friends. We have pizza parties which means I get four friends round, we eat a pizza and we’re really lazy and we play PlayStation.

[marty-travers]

Maybe a little? I’m not complaining though. Quiet is cool with me.

Hey man I’m offended! I’ll have you know I’m a very busy guy. No, not really.. I’m just spending some time with people and all that. You would be added to that list if you weren’t working so much!

[dtjoshua]

Marty... you're cool with anything. I bet you if this town started having riots and revolts about nothing in particular, you'd be cool with it as long as it didn't affect you.

Oh, really? You're talking to me about being a busy guy? Well, I'm glad you're doing that... even if I don't really see the point. You need to stop having so many friends, it's one of the things I honestly don't understand about you. Some of us have to work all the time to have a roof over their heads, you know. And new editions of psychology books they've bought before that don't really have any new information on them. You know you're always welcome at the cafe, I'll still give you free coffee and muffins, my boss really can't give a fuck anymore to stop me.

[ella-renthorpe]

Lack? The Rockhouse gets plenty, maybe we should swap uniforms for a weekend. I seriously wouldn’t mind. I’ve listened to enough drunken babble to last me an eternity times eternity times infinity. That used to be my favorite part of the job but now it’s just.. annoying.

[dtjoshua]

The Rockhouse? I wouldn't dream of stepping foot in there... and not just because I've a feeling that your perpetually sticky floor would literally melt through my shoe, but because I actually don't drink. You're just part of the food chain and I'm the last stop: they get drunk at yours, then friends drag them to mine and try to shove down a large coffee down their throat in some useless attempt to sober them up before they have to go back to their dorms or houses. I'm surprised you haven't killed anyone. I don't usually talk about this, but I have dreamt of hitting some people with the coffee machine before. It makes not being able to actually do it so much harder.

[jake-christensen]

Moving. So packing up your entire apartment is really exhausting.

[dtjoshua]

Oh. Makes sense. Moving... for good or no? Because if it's for good, I'll have to congratulate you and if it isn't, then I'll have to talk you into reconsidering.

[dtjoshua]

let's tessellate -- joshua & amy

[amy--harrison]

"Oh no, social convention is entirely unnecessary." She waved the idea off completely, literally. Her fingers brushed through the air. They could exchange hellos and how are yous, though she never understood the principle behind asking. No one ever exposed the truth. They never said they were in a joyous mood, depressed, enraged. The answers always fell on I’m ‘I’m fine’ or ‘I’m good.’ Somehow, it seemed as if that was all people were able to feel when engaged in simple conversation.

Amy was guilty of this practice. She didn’t reveal too much. There was enough sparked around the town for everyone to have their preconceived notions of her. Whether they held true would be up for grabs at the effort of another. Amy wouldn’t storm up to those passing by and justify herself. Though she had in particular circumstances (if she was put down for being a woman, for being too outspoken.) Oh, summon the heavens if she, (a “delicate” person), were to put her toe out of line. Amy forced herself to stop the roll of her eyes.

Around Joshua, Amy knew he’d never insult her at such a slow and degrading manner. All of his quips, his words, were intellectual. They were sprinkled with a bit of ego and entertainment on his behalf. He took joy in getting her worked up, in having her body tense and comebacks slip into the air. She too enjoyed a similar hobby. She liked making him stop, rethink, and begin again. She could only imagine where tonight would lead. For some reason, though she knew it was curiosity, she had agreed to spending time with him.

"I did finish my paper, thank you. It was completed around two this afternoon and submitted to my professor." Amy was especially chipper as she spoke. She really hated the professionalism, even in teasing form. They were rarely professional together. They engaged in intense debates with not so much a concern as to proper speech and mannerisms. It was about the context, the solidarity in what it was they were arguing for. "I would also like to thank you for the compliment about my looks. That was nice of you too."

Amy rolled her shoulders back, gestured openly down the street. “So, what is it you’d like to do this evening? I’m certain you have a plan stemming in that never ceasing to think brain of yours.”

Personally, Amy wouldn’t mind where they went. She had no work to do. C.J. was taken care of. And she was keen on learning at least one new fact about Joshua Davenport.

[dtjoshua]

"I wouldn't say entirely unnecessary, but for the sake of establishing that this isn't some sort of... well, that this isn't more than what we've agreed it to be then... we should just act as we normally would to each other, which isn't all that congenial, let's be honest." He would've wanted to have had more conviction in his voice when he said that, but for some reason, there'd been a hitch in there that he had no control over. Was it hesitation? There was a sense of trying to get a feel of what it was exactly that he should say, the inner perfectionist in him rearing up its ugly head and making him desperately crave to say the right thing. That was odd in and of itself.

"I really am glad that you're fine. I mean, I trust that you are, because if you weren't, I'd expect nothing less of myself than to have noticed it by now." Almost as an afterthought, Joshua took another good look of her, this time not even making an effort to mask it from her view. There wasn't anything about her that he hadn't already sized up from their many meetings before, no new issue or drama that would add to his long list of things that made him curious about her. There wasn't a doubt in his head that she wanted to pick at him as much as he wanted to pick at her - they were both intellectuals, they relished at the opportunity to be challenged and, in his own quiet sense, he prided himself in being one of Bennington's self proclaimed biggest mysteries. And she was the second, except she was more of a tragedy, a rags to riches story. "You are fine, aren't you? Or did someone you know die, because there's been a dark cloud over a lot of people this week and it's honestly becoming disconcerting."

He nodded. "You're welcome. For both things... even if I'm starting to think I hand those compliments out to you like candy during Halloween, I really should put a check on that." To his surprise, he chuckled: a rumbling sound, short and low, and cut off all too quickly with a hand to his lips, covering it up as a cough gone wrong. He didn't want her to think that he was getting familiar with her. Alfie and Marty had known him for years, she couldn't have jumped to their level so quick. "And, uh... to answer your question, I'm... well, I'll admit right now that I didn't actually plan something out fully. I had really thought that you wouldn't show up, which you can hold against me, of course, because I had jumped to conclusions. Wait a sec."

There was a pause, his thick eyebrows furrowing slightly as his blue eyes hardened, staring at the street lamp across the street in thought. If anyone looked at him hard enough then, he could've sworn they would see the cogs and wheels in his head turning at a faster rate than usual. Academics were all too easy for him, but this? Something that he didn't usually engage in? It took a moment longer than usual to get an idea out of him, but a minute later, when he finally turned to her, there was a sly smile on his face. "Okay, I've got something, but a few questions beforehand. First, would you prefer a long walk through mildly dark places or an awkward ride in a beat up car? Two, would you rather fast food or a proper meal? Three, how opposed are you to sharing that meal with me? I'll pay, of course, and I know getting dinner together has certain implications, but... I haven't eaten since this morning and my stomach finally caught up. We can just get burger and fries, you can never go wrong with the American staple."

[marty-travers]

Nah, don’t think so man. Thing’s have just been a little quiet around town.

[dtjoshua]

And you don't think that's odd?

Hey, what have you been up to, anyway? I feel like you've been busier than I am and that's impossible.

[kane-asghar]

Oh yeah, I know shit happens without being documented or uncovered. You also have to realize it’s Bennington and most of our neighbors are probably getting drunk in the privacy of their own home. Tomorrow morning will be more amusing for you. You’ll see red stained eyes and double the orders of coffee.

[dtjoshua]

That's not what I've been led to believe, but that's another topic I'd rather not get into. Unfortunately, I've got the afternoon shift tomorrow so it's unlikely. All we ever get in those hours are people coming from church and people going to church... and the odd couple or two. It almost makes me wonder what I'm missing not drinking... likely not a lot.

[kimberley-dawkins]

…There is a wine ceremony and yes a lot of religious people drink wine but you’re very unlikely to find heavy drinkers here, gluttony is a sin you know. I mean I’m not overly religious but getting completely drunk isn’t exactly attractive either.  

[dtjoshua]

You are aware that you have too much faith in your... people, right? You can't just say it's "very unlikely" because like it or not, every single one of those people paint on a face for church and you really don't know what they get up to behind closed doors. Besides, alcoholics tend to turn to religion as a last ditch effort to make believe they're really reforming because a being up above has "enlightened" and "forgave their trespasses". Well, at least we agree on something.

[noahxpearce]

Let me know if you find out what the deal is. I’ve noticed the same thing.

[dtjoshua]

That's really the only reason I could come up with at the moment that could possibly affect the entire town. That or we got certified news of the impending apocalypse coming soon and it's made everyone morose and nostalgic.

[kane-asghar]

As far as I know, no one has died, thankfully. Maybe patrons have given up getting drunk on Saturday night? Resorted to Fridays or a mid-week binge.

[dtjoshua]

As far as you know. At this day and age, murders happen everyday that are never unearthed. I honestly doubt that. They have to get drunk on a Saturday night so they'd have a massive hangover the next day and get an excuse for skipping out on church.

[kimberley-dawkins]

Well considering this was a function run by the church, I don’t know why you’re surprised at the lack of drunkards. 

[dtjoshua]

Doesn't the, uh... the priest drink wine during church? And god and... you know, jesus is all about "sharing is caring" so the priest would have to por on for everyone else.

[dtjoshua]

There's been a genuine lack of drunk patrons this weekend... which kind of makes me regret taking the last shift tonight. Everyone seems to be walking around with a cloud over their head these days.

Did someone die, are we in mourning, did I miss the memo?

[jake-christensen]

I officially hate packing. I really do.

[dtjoshua]

I personally enjoy it... or, at least, the one time that I've actually had to do it. But it depends on the circumstance, I suppose.

Going away?

[dtjoshua]

let's tessellate -- joshua & amy

[amy--harrison]

Amy wasn’t entirely certain what motivation resided under accepting Joshua’s invitation for an evening out. When she left their last conversation, she was feeling inquisitive, curious. It was a rarity for Amy since those in Bennington never provoked a sense of interest. She often found that many of them had small town ideals and beliefs that kept them from understanding many of her, (what they would deem radical), opinions. It also kept them from treating some of her friends as they deserved. Finn with his bullying, Robbie with his Aspergers, Kane and Jake being a, what they could only deem as gay, couple. Everything seemed so slotted into place that stepping out of the box of normalcy and conformity was shattering a natural law. It was why Amy often had to defend those she loved or herself.

Joshua, however, was different. He was as open-minded as she, though with a sharper tongue. Since Amy came back to Bennington, all they did was argue. If the coffee shop was empty, it would be a full on dispute with them sitting across from each other or standing at close proximity. What Amy could say amidst her frustration was Joshua always caused her to think. Her flat out statements weren’t just taken as they were. They had to be explained, extricated, and reformulated into a perfect whole. Only then would they agree to disagree, or resign. She had to say, (as much as she wouldn’t admit it), that she enjoyed his company for that reason. He stuck to his guns and she had to admire such a dominant, well-rounded quality. Challenging those around one’s personal sphere, granted room for growth in knowledge and the development of character.

There were breaks in their spouts when Joshua complimented her and Amy was always taken aback. The first reason was due to him often complimenting her mind over her filled out figure. The second reason was because it was Joshua complimenting her. He didn’t hand those out like he did the orders he served to customers. She wondered if he had the capacity to express such sincerity with anyone else who wasn’t her. Amy knew he had friends like Marty and Alfie, though Joshua wasn’t exactly the clear cut definition of said relationship. He was jagged, distant, and that was another perplexity to add to Amy Harrison’s growing list of who was Joshua Davenport? She came to understand, (somewhat), his chain of reasoning. He liked people watching. He liked pushing boundaries. He was passionate about his studies. Deeper then that was a sea of uncertainty.

Tonight could shed light on the mystery.

"My spare time does not involved a Fifty Shades of Gray remake. Thank you very much." She crossed her arms defiantly over her chest, already a brilliant start to their hangout. It didn’t last too long. She was smiling in an almost pretentious like manner, a ‘here we go again Joshua’ expression present to be read. "A hello, how are you Amy would have been a good start. Or, how was your day Amy? But that’s too polite for you, now isn’t it?"

[dtjoshua]

"Oh, I was under the impression that we were past the point of social convention. If you had told me you wanted me to pretend for the sake of normalcy, I would've... considered the possibility of me actually doing it."

He said it dismissively, his eyes still focused elsewhere, intending it to be more of a joke than a serious jab at her... even if his tone was a little... lacking. In any case, he wasn't really the type to follow the traditional way these things worked - as with most aspects of his life, he tended to walk to the beat of his own drum, to do things as he saw fit without consideration of the way it ought to be or is expected to be. It surprised him still, that Amy not only seemed to understand that, but also put up with it again... and again... and again, as this... whatever this was... clearly showed. Being the cynic that he was, Joshua wasn't completely writing off the possibility that she really had showed up simply for the sake of satiating her curiosity, and not because there was actually some part of her that delighted in his company. If she did, he didn't hold on to the hope that she'd let him know any time soon; that would be her catering to his ego and god, he knew that was the last thing she would deign herself to do.

Straightening up and finally pulling his hands out from his pockets and running them through his perpetually messy hair, Joshua painted on a sardonic smile that split right across his face. An attempt at being typical. "Good evening, Amy Harrison." he greeted in a tone that would've fooled a stranger into thinking it was polite, but to anyone who knew him enough, they would easily detect the heavy note of sarcasm thickly coating his words. "How are you? Fine, I hope. I trust you had a wonderful day as well since you yourself are wonderful, truly. And I hope you finished your paper as well, though knowing your efficiency and brilliance, I should expect nothing less."

Spitting out the words with ease like they were ones that came naturally to him, he paused for a while to let them sink in and took that moment to look at her fully for the first time that night... and what he was sure wouldn't be the last, if history served him right. Aside from his repetitive statements about the intensity of her eyes, there was something about her, something that he couldn't put his finger on... something that almost always made him do a double take. He passed off his compliments to her as passively as possible, but there was always a hint of truth in them - he did find her attractive in as much as he didn't want to. He was still human after all, so there wasn't any fighting the instinct to feel attraction to her at a physical level. Luck would just have it that she had a mind that was just as engaging as her looks were... did that mean he was interested in anything with her? Not necessarily. But if there was a girl that such an unlikely night like this would happen to, it was undoubtedly going to be her.

Shrugging his shoulders, he chewed at his lower lip in thought before saying nonchalantly: "Oh, and I suppose you look good too, if that's something that you want to hear. From me."

[daphneblackvvood]

It certainly is, but it’s pretty rewarding. In my opinion, the things we pass down through the generations tell the best stories. 

[dtjoshua]

I suppose it can be rewarding in its own way. They do say that history is an important subject to pursue in that it educates us on what to do and not to do in the future, although I personally don't see much sense in it since history can and will repeat itself regardless of whether we know about it or not. I'm just glad you've found fulfillment in your, uh... line of work.