our (collective) name is celeste! she/her for any of us, we have DID, we have POTS/EDS, we're in our mid-late 20s and are autistic as hell
be prepared for the most pokemon dense blog you've ever seen in your life, but we also talk about our other interests such as vocaloid, kamitsubaki studio, and various animanga sometimes. this is also our place to talk about our personal life into the online void.
we're a hobbyist digital artist and an eventually-professional-but-still-currently-hobbyist web developer mainly using neocities for funsies. we're the webmaster of the pokemon gens 1/2 fansite Blue Moon Falls and have a new personal site coming very soon!
as for tumblr, our art-only blog is @tera-shards and the drawing/writing challenge we host for the likodot fandom can be found at @60minlkdt. 18+ DID/PTSD venting blog @synesthesia-ghost (you have to manually look it up)
we are mod terashards on the bulbagarden forums!! we are incredibly passionate about this place and it's an active forum in this decade so please check it out if you like pokemon!
some info about our tagging system and whatnot under the cut!
a little extra info about the blog
all our art is tagged under "#my art" and all our code is tagged under "#my code". we rarely write these days, but any writing will also be tagged under "#my writing"
we value being open about our DID online (and you're free to ask questions about it) but that doesn't mean pressuring ourselves to identify who's fronting 100% the time. if an alter wants to self-identify, they will tag the post with "#[name here] posts"
we post about playing pokemon games a lot liveposting style. we tag these posts with the appropriate game set (ie. if we're playing heartgold, we'd tag the post "#hgss") as well as "#celeste plays games"
we use a lot of "code names" for other types of fandom posting because we don't always want our posts to show up in the tags even though we like the blog organization. you can figure these out by looking at our blog LOL
we are pretty lax on CWs as a personal choice but we do tag the big stuff like abuse and whatnot. anything we give a CW to will be tagged like "#cw [subject matter]" (on that note we have some ocs with CSA and organized abuse as a heavy theme in their story, please blacklist "#vee & nova" if you don't want to see these OCs in any capacity)
you can reblog anything we post that has reblogs enabled; if we don't want you to reblog it then we'd turn off reblogs
we used to take anon asks but we're in college now and just could not keep up anymore despite people being so kind, sorry!! you're still free to send off-anon asks though! we post all ask responses unless you ask us not to
we are extremely selective about giving out our discord and will reach out to you first if we'd like to add you there. please don't ask for ours!
for the first time in a few years, iām doing safari week! really happy to be back. just ended my session for tonight (this picture is from yesterday but still) at 4500 encountersā¦ out of the ones iāve counted anyway. my first session after midnight on the 17th wasnāt counted at all. so iām probably over 5k. and our girlfriend is participating for the first time and theyāve done around 880 encounters so weāre making good progress!
that pikachu plush is holding up my ds lite because iām using the one with the broken hinge. our girlfriend is borrowing our ds lite with the functioning hinge
anyway tonight our girlfriend hunted for a while but then continued their first colosseum playthrough, so i had that RNG mess as entertainment while i hunted. finally put the setup away and weāre leaving the wii on to purify shadow pokemon with the infinite walking exploit tonight
i am about to play more octopath traveller because them playing colosseum was a trade. but iām not complaining because octopath is very fun
in elementary school i figured out how to customize the classroom desktop's autocorrect to make Word change whole sentences. this made it appear almost like the computer was responding to you. you could, for example, type in "where did i put my keys", hit enter, and watch it switch to "you put them under the couch". this was before chatbots, and we were all 9 so i considered it closer to a magic trick than a tech one.
i immediately scripted out a dialogue exchange between me and a girl who had died by the swings (classic). i invited another student over and told them i had found a ghost, then proceeded to type out the pre-scripted exchange. i was immediately pulled into the counselors office. the kicker was that none of the adults could figure out how i did it. i had to show them the menu and everything.
idk sometimes u just wake up mad that u weren't allowed to see the doctor without a parent taking you as a child. and that even if you were taken to the doctor, your parent's word on how you were feeling was considered more legitimate than yours. and that every child is going through this Right Now
i do not trust people who say they āhate kidsā full stop and if you say you hate kids but actually mean ākids are fine i just donāt think iām capable of being personally responsible for them and sometimes i have a sensory aversion to them being loudā i think you should stop saying you hate kids and should say something else or nothing at all
also āthe internetā is not an unstoppable force that mind controls humans, it is not an alien or a cosmic entity, it is a technology piloted by people and everything on it originates from a human personās decision (even the creation of bots that generate content was originally a human choice) and you know we should probably treat the harm that occurs to children (and all people) online as something caused by people who made choices
i do not regret having unmonitored internet access when i was young but i do regret living in a world where the only place to exert my autonomy as a young person was the internet and where any of the feelings i experienced and needed help with were not taken seriously, is my point
my mom sometimes expresses regret that she gave me so much internet access as a young person and i appreciate the sentiment (remorse for the trauma that happened to me while growing up that she did not stop) but i disagree that simply having internet access was the cause. having internet access taught me a lot about personal choice and identity in a place where i had the power to exert those things anonymously. i was also able to learn so much about my body, health, etc, that i would not have been able to otherwise. i think i am a wiser person in many ways because i had internet access since i was like, 10 or so
it was not the internet itself that led me to seeking sexual attention from adults when i was a teenager or other traumas. it was the things happening in my real life, and it was also the adults around me failing to do anything when i communicated that trauma with them. it is important to teach kids the language to communicate when they are uncomfortable so they can report if someone is touching them inappropriately, and that logic also applies to the internet, but when i reported anything happening to me it was perceived as if the internet was a Less Real place and the solution was not dealing directly with the harm i was reporting but to simply remove me from The Internet (spoken about like some sort of boogeyman) so iād have Real Problems again (not that my āreal problemsā were treated any better but i digress)
like i will believe until the day i die that i had the right to internet access and the right to make my own choices as a child. this includes the right to fuck up, see shit that scared me, or even put myself in harmās way online, just as i (should have) had the right to make those mistakes in real life. and when i made those mistakes, as is natural with learning, i should have received support and care for any harm done, and knowledge to not do it again. instead everyone just threatened to take the only place i could escape or be myself away from me, making me more scared and defensive of it. lol. very productive (sarcasm)
surveillance law is terrifying for everyone but it baffles me how many adults are purely focused on the effects it has on them, meanwhile the main people being affected by age verification laws and whatnot are children, who are also being used as the scapegoat for said surveillance
itās crazy how much my mental health improved when i became an adult purely because i gained rights and bodily autonomy. i hate that my answer to a teenager asking me if living is even worth it is often āyou just have to survive until youāre 18 and then things can change for the betterā
i always thought when i became an adult that iād retroactively understand why adults abused me and controlled me the way they did but now iām 26 and i still feel the rage for how i was treated as a teenager like i did then. i am thankful that i survived especially because thereās many times i thought i wouldnāt but when i think about how many people are trying to survive that Right Now i am sad and i am angry
itās inhumane and frankly unreal just how few rights children have
blinks was not expecting the level of vitriol @ the liko contest episode that i saw when i briefly opened twitter to look at art. thatās enough twitter for today
