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Top 10 Ways Guardians Make Friends

1.) Smashing them into a wall

47% of guardian deaths are from their friends running them over. It’s an issue that the consensus often brings up, but never solves.

#Destiny #Destiny 2 #Guardians all collectively share one brain cell #but someone lost it

vanguardvogue

bungie doesn’t wanna bring SRL back cause that’d mean they gotta make those skin tight suits from D1 and you know 90% of guardians want to have a nice butt in those suits

eliksni-propoganda

I think you mean 100% of Guardians

dumb-destiny-headcanons

The Vanguard cancelled SRL because the suits were giving everyone boners all the time.

#Destiny #Destiny Headcanons #Vanguard #SRL #The suits are too powerful

So from what I’ve gathered of the hive, wizards are typically female and knights are typically male. They’re besically the two hive genders: knight and wizard. However, there is one exception: Nokris. Nokris is the *son* of oryx, therefore bring male, yet he is a wizard. This leads to my conclusion that Nokris, Son of Oryx is the hive equivalent of a trap. Your welcome for this newfound transcendent knowledge.

#Destiny #Destiny Headcanons #Nokris Herald of Xol

Was inspired by a post I saw from @bow—to—no—one to make cooking headcanons for the Scorned Barons.

- Fikrul is pretty decent at cooking. He’s no master chef, but he can cook a decent-tasting steak or two. He’s the designated grill-dad of the barons.

- Elykris *can* cook, but she needs to follow thorough instructions. Last time she made something without instructions, she set the kitchen on fire.

- Hiraks can only cook things that are edible for hive. Great for dinner dates with Anânh, not so much for family dinners with the barons.

- Ironically, Araskes is actually a fantastic cook, five star quality, but no one will eat anything she makes because they don’t trust her. Karma’s a bitch, I suppose.

- Reksis Vahn will eat tire rubber if you fry it, so his standards aren’t very high to begin with. This makes him relatively easy to cook for, but he’s not exactly a good cook in any sense. He doesn’t mind much, just as long as he gets to eat something.

- The last time Kaniks was allowed to cook something for a baron family dinner, the resulting explosion nearly killed them all. He is now banned from going anywhere near the kitchen.

- Pirrha once baked some cookies, tried (choked on) them, and decided cooking is dumb. He is, however, still a low-key fan of cooking shows.

- Yaviks doesn’t care much about cooking. She’s more of an ‘eat out’ kind of person.

#Destiny #Destiny 2 Forsaken #Destiny Headcanons #Scorned Barons #Fikrul the Fanatic #Elykris the Machinist #Hiraks the Mindbender #Araskes the Trickster #Reksis Vahn the Hangman #Pirrha the Rifleman #Yaviks the Rider #In Anânh Brood Queen

When Quria deadnamed Oryx, he took the axis mind as a knee-jerk reaction.

#Destiny #Destiny Headcanons #Quria Blade Transform #Oryx the Taken King #Never mention the name Aurash around Oryx if you don’t want to be obliterated

Elykris has a secret passion for art, or more specifically, sculptures. She’ll spend hours making random sculptures out of whatever scrap is around. Sometimes she makes scrap replicas of the other barons. The only person she shows her sculptures to is Fikrul.

#Destiny #Destiny 2 Forsaken #Destiny Headcanons #Elykris the Machinist #Fikrul the Fanatic #Scorned Barons

Hiraks still hopes that someday he could meet his celebrity idol, Savathun, and get an autograph from her.

#Destiny #Destiny 2 Forsaken #Hiraks the Mindbender #Scorned Barons #Savathun #Destiny Headcanons

The Scorned Barons constantly wonder what terrifying, dark thoughts wander in Hiraks’ head. In reality, he’s often wondering where he should take Anânh for their next date.

#Destiny #Destiny 2 Forsaken #Destiny Headcanons #Hiraks the Mindbender #Scorned Barons #I just really like the idea of Hiraks giving off a really intimidating vibe and in reality being a total sappy romantic sweetheart #Or at least when Anâhn is involved #In Anânh Brood Queen

Fikrul can’t actually see with his dumb helmet on, but he won’t tell anyone because he knows if he does, Yaviks, Pirrha, and Araskes will make fun of him.

#Destiny #Destiny 2 Forsaken #Destiny Headcanons #Fikrul the Fanatic #Yaviks the Rider #Pirrha the Rifleman #Araskes the Trickster

Yaviks once found a copy of the Need For Speed series and fucking loved it. She didn’t care much for the story, but she really enjoyed the racing scenes.

#Destiny #Destiny Headcanons #Yaviks the Rider #Destiny 2 Forsaken #Scorned Barons

Shaxx is secretly Tony the Tiger.

#Destiny #Destiny Headcanons #Lord Shaxx

Shin Malphur, despite the cowboy motif, has never said howdy.

#Destiny #Destiny Headcanons #Shin Malphur

Shaxx doesn’t ever take his helmet off because his helmet is his head.

#Destiny #Destiny Headcanons #Lord Shaxx #the mask stayed on

Pretty much every guardian sees Eva Levante as their grandmother, so it’s almost tradition for every first-year guardians to get her a “#1 grandma” mug for Mother’s Day. Eva has an entire warehouse for all the mugs she gets from the guardians.

#Destiny #Destiny Headcanons #Eva Levante #best grandma

Shaxx is actually really good at most board/card games, even poker. Cayde often complains that Shaxx getting to wear his helmet is cheating.

#Destiny 2 #Destiny Headcanons #Lord Shaxx #Cayde-6 #Shaxx is actually really fucking smart #especially when it comes to tactics

The Drifter is a big fan of Golden-Age films about cowboys (apparently they were called “Westerns”). He occasionally slips in a one-liner from his favorites.

#Destiny #Destiny Headcanons #The Drifter

Insurrection Prime got the idea to make a mech body after finding an intact copy of a Golden-Age animated show called Gundam.

#Destiny #Destiny Headcanons #Insurrection Prime #Scourge of the Past

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