i literally just rushed it this morning cause i was talking about it last night and decided to start writing again
tw: derealization/depersonalization/dissociation
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Portuguese translation (but its shit cause its google translate)
reblogs help out a lot :D
“K.K.?!” I said, shocked.
“You know them?” Radi0 mumbled. He was hiding behind me, looking at them. I nodded and smiled.
“Mud?” She asked. I nodded again. She looked at me. “You’re shorter than I thought you were.” I blinked.
“W-what?” I laughed. I probably sounded nervous, fuck. “Uh,” I cleared my throat. “Do you know this city?”
“Yup, I live here,” they said, pushing her way through Radi0 and I. I jolted in shock before hopping forward to continue talking to her, Radi0 following quietly.
“Uhm, is it okay if we uh, kind of…” I didn’t know how to phrase it, CRAP WHY WAS ENGLISH SUCH A DIFFICULT LANGUAGE TO SPEAK! “C-crash at your place? We don’t have anywhere to stay for the night…” K.K sighed before looking back at the two of us. I picked a small twig out of my fur before looking back up.
“Au não deveria…” She mumbled, pinching the bridge of their snout. “Sure, but only if you explain why you were in the middle of the woods and why the both of you are so on-edge.” I looked back at Radi0, he had his hood up and was slouching, as if he were trying to be smaller. I understood that feeling. I wanted to be small and avoid the world at all costs right now, but I couldn’t. There was no way I could. I couldn’t just lie down and sleep forever while pretending the real world wasn’t actually real. I couldn’t do any of that. But god, I wish I could. I was so tired. Maybe none of this was real… maybe it was just some sick, sick, dream that I’d wake up from in a couple hours. Maybe Isol still was our friend. Maybe I hadn’t died. What if even the lab was a dream. That would be nice. I wouldn’t worry as much anymore. I wouldn’t have to worry about the goddamn crystal that’s implanted in my head. I would actually be happy.
“Uh, hello? Mud? You still there?” I blinked a couple times and looked up, the feeling of everything just being a strange dream lingering. I nodded and forced a smile.
“Is it okay if I explain everything once we get to wherever you live?” I laughed anxiously.
“... Yeah…” They replied. She continued walking, mumbling something in portuguese. I looked over to Radi0 again. He hugged himself tightly before looking up. We stared at each other for a moment.
“How… are you, uh, holding in there?” I asked. He shrugged. “I think it's going to get a little bit better, we have a temporary home now so, uh… yeah…” I twitched my tail, gesturing that we should probably start following K.K before we get lost. As we walked, everything started to blur together. I had trouble telling what was real and what wasn’t. I looked at my talons, which looked fuzzier than before. Maybe none of this was real, maybe it was just a strange dream. Maybe the dream would end soon. Was I even real? Was I just a part of the dream? When whoever was dreaming would wake up would they remember who I am? What’s going to happen to me?
“You poisoned me, didn’t you,” Radi0 said. “That’s why I’ve been feeling this way.” I dropped the snapdragons and took another step back.
“W-what?” I stammered. “N-no I didn’t! I would never do that to anyone!”
“LIAR!”
“I’m not lying! I don’t even know what you're talking about! How the hell would I even be able to poison you?”
“The fucking berries, Mud! The berries were poisonous!”
“But… I had them too… t-there’s literally no way!”
“You’re not human, Mud! Of course the toxins would work differently!”
“O-oh… oh my god…” I grabbed onto my hair. I poisoned him. Why didn’t I think that our reactions would be different? Why didn’t I think twice about giving them to him? I shook my head and stepped back. “N-no, no, no, no, no, no, no! I-I’d never do that!”
“Mud…” Radi0 said, his voice quieter than before. “Did you mean to?” I shook my head again and took another step back, tripping on a branch and curling up on the trunk of a tree. I wrapped my wings around my head, just trying to take this in. How could I do this to him?!
“J-Just give me a second…” I muttered, taking some deep breaths. I sat there.
I just tried to kill him… No, stop it, it was unintentional, it was just an accident. It’s fine, he’s not going to die! There’s no way those berries can kill a person! It’s fine!
I let out a breath and stood up, brushing myself off. I looked at Radi0. We stared at each other silently. I stepped towards Radi0 and wrapped my arms around him.
“I’m so, so, sorry…” I muttered. “I didn’t know…”
“It’s okay, Mud,” he replied, hugging me back. We stood there for a minute, exhausted from how these past few days have gone. At least, I was. We let go of each other and stood there for a second. I looked around for a way out of here until I spotted a breach in the trees. I looked back at Radi0 and pointed to the opening.
“We might be able to find a way out of this forest through there,” I said, then started to walk in the direction that I was pointing to.
“Hey Mud?” Radi0 asked. I looked back at him but didn’t slow down my pace. “What do you think the berries were?” I thought for a moment.
“At first I thought they were blueberries, but it makes more sense that they would be elderberries. They’re not extremely deadly, but they do cause nausea, weakness, dizziness, and numbness. Are you feeling any of that?”
“Uh, yeah,” Radi0 replied. “I am feeling kind of nauseous… and a bit weak… and dizzy… I’m not feeling any numbness though, is that a bad thing?”
“I mean, it shouldn’t be, if you don’t have a symptom, that would be good,” I said, but something whispered in the back of my mind that he wouldn’t have any symptoms if I had just stayed dead. I shook my head, trying to shake the thought with it, but it clung to my mind. I sighed and kept walking, hoping that this thought wouldn’t stay with me for more than a day.
As we walked the trees and bushes slowly got thinner and there was a small, old trail that led for miles in each direction. I looked to the left down the path and all I saw were just more trees. Then I looked right. It wasn’t close, but the path seemed to change from an old, barren path, to a busy, city street. I stepped onto the path. A city? Out in the middle of nowhere? It wasn’t just a small town, it was a literal city. Tall buildings, busy streets, people walking. And it wasn’t just humans walking on the side of the road, from what I could make out, there also seemed to be animals. Animals that walked on two legs, animals that walked on four. Winged humans with tails, scaly animals without tails. It was diverse, it was intriguing. I wanted to go towards the city, I wanted to explore, I wanted to talk to other people. I wanted to learn.
“Hey Radi0!” I called for him, then looked over. He was wrestling with vines that had somehow managed to get tangled around him. I walked over and carefully ripped the vines off of him.
“Wait, come look at this!” I ran back onto the path, Radi0 following close behind. I pointed. “There’s a city! We might be able to rent an apartment there so we can have a place to live!”
“We don’t have any money though…” Radi0 said. “What are we going to do about that?”
“Uh…” Shoot. I hadn’t thought about money. “M-Maybe someone will see that we’re minors without shelter? We… might be able to get a home then?” I sighed and shook my head. "I don't know… I'm not sure what's going to happen from here on out, but hopefully it'll get easier once we have a home."
"Hopefully it will…" Radi0 said before we both started walking towards the now intimidating city.
I do not think anything bad about my friends, they're amazing people that deserve much love, and the majority of this fic is fiction (duh, its fanfiction lmao)
Once I had figured out how to make the elevator (simple pulley system, vines tied to the leaf and that was used to pull Radi0 up into the tree, safely off of the ground), I destroyed it. I ripped out the vines and let the leaf fall to the ground. The vine could probably be used later, so I wrapped it around my wrist and up my arm. Thankfully the rain had died down a lot and it was just a light drizzle. Radi0 had trouble balancing on the branch when he stepped off the leaf which was… concerning… to say the least. I let out a sigh as Radi0 curled up next to the trunk of the tree. He looked at me, hardly keeping his eyes open.
“I-I’m sorry,” Radi0 mumbled. I was confused.
“For what?”
“Everything.”
“No, don’t blame yourself! If anything, it’s my fault, I prompted the teasing and then told you to leave, I was just trying to protect you!”
“But-”
“Listen, just try to get some rest, and we can talk about this when you wake up, okay?”
He hesitated.
…
Then nodded, closing his eyes and curling up into a small ball. I leaned back and glanced up at the partially cloudy skies through the thick green leaves and sighed, rain dripping onto my face. What if I actually died? What if I wasn’t immortal? Would Radi0 be okay or would he drown in guilt? How would Isol feel? Would she feel any remorse for killing me? Probably not, I concluded. She was still looking for us, it might be because I’m still here. This really was all my fault. Why had I teased Isol? Why was I such an idiot? I blinked and noticed that tears were pouring out of my eyes. I quickly rubbed at them, trying to stop. I was fine, we’re going to be fine. I heard a rustling from under the tree and rubbed at my eyes again, looking down.
“ARGH!” a familiar voice growled, my ears perked up and I held onto the branch a little tighter than before, digging my claws into the bark. “Where the FUCK are they?!” Oh. I should’ve guessed it was Isol. I leaned over the edge of the branch to get a better look. There was no way it wasn’t Isol, their long flowy hair and thick, bushy pink-ish fur was unmistakable. She really stood out compared to the dark greens and browns of the forest.
I quickly pulled myself back. Isol was there? How? Did they follow our tracks? It was raining, how could they find us? But they didn’t find us, we just need to stay up in the tree. It’s going to be fine. I waited. More illegible growling and hissing came from the forest below. I took in a shaky breath and glanced over to Radi0. He wasn’t asleep and his eyes were wide, filled with fear. He knew very well what was going on. I held a claw up to my mouth in a shushing motion, but didn’t dare make a sound. More rustling came from the ground and suddenly a large bang shot out from beneath us. The tree shook and we desperately clung to the branch, trying not to make a sound. I felt my heart rate rise and my breathing quicken. Isol was going to find us, she was going to kill us! I forced myself to look over the edge of the branch again. The only thing that I could see was the dense forest floor. Isol was gone, thankfully. I pulled myself back and curled up, placing my head on my knees and letting my ears flop. I tried to calm down, but my lungs fought for air. I combed a talon through my hair, trying to push out the dizziness that was fighting to get in. I rubbed at my eyes, which were starting to sting.
“M-Mud?”
I looked up, still fighting the dizziness. I pulled on a smile. “Yeah?”
“Are..." He paused and looked at me. "Why… are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Hiding how you’re feeling, trying to take care of me while still trying to keep yourself alive. Why are you doing it?”
“I’m not hiding how I’m feeling.”
“Yes you are, and you’re not good at it.”
“I’m not hiding anything Radi0, just try and get some sleep.”
“No.” I blinked in confusion. He was obviously tired and, being sick, he needed sleep, right?
“Stop trying to push this away,” Radi0 said, standing up and wobbling. I jumped up and reached a talon towards him to try and steady him. “No, stop it, Mud! Stop trying to take care of me and take care of yourself first!”
“I’ll take care of myself if you sit down!” I said, raising my voice slightly. My tail thrashed behind me and I flicked my ears down.
“No!”
“Please, just sit down! We’ll talk then okay!”
“No! Listen to me! You need to take care of yourself!”
“You can hardly take care of yourself right now! We’re both out in the wilderness, you’re sick, I’m stressed, and our friend is trying to kill us! You need to sit down or…” I thought for a second. “Or I’ll leave!”
“Then leave!”
I was silent. Did… he really want me to leave? Was I really that much of a problem? I blinked.
“... Okay… Fine. I’ll leave. Stay safe, Radi0,” I said, taking a step towards the edge of the branch. Just as I was about to climb down the tree, Radi0 spoke up.
“Wait… you were actually planning on leaving?”
“Yeah…? That’s what you said you wanted, right?”
“I-I didn’t… I didn’t think you actually meant it…” Radi0 said while slowly sitting down. He curled up again. “You just saved my life… and I repay you by trying to get you to leave?” He sighed and leaned his head back onto the tree trunk. I crept back farther on the branch and let out a dry laugh.
“I threatened to leave,” I mumbled. “You’re sick and traumatized and probably not thinking straight, I’m probably not either, and again, we’re in the wilderness hiding in a tree from our friend who is out to kill us…” I flopped back onto the branch, my legs dangling off of the tree. I put a claw to my forehead.
“I-I’m sorry…”
“I’m sorry too…”
It was silent apart from the occasional hoots from an owl and croaks and chirps from frogs. I sighed and stared up into the endless night sky, scattered with stars.
"It's pretty…" I mumbled.
"What is?" Radi0 asked. He sounded tired.
"The sky," I replied, rolling onto my side and curling up. "Anyways, goodnight."
"Goodnight."
~~
I woke up. The bright sun was blinding compared to the dark night sky that I had closed my eyes to. I blinked a couple times before sitting up and rubbing my eyes. My fur dripped and weighed me down. I shook out my fur, sending small droplets of rain in every direction. As I started smoothing my fur out, I heard a stifled laugh. I turned to the direction that it was coming from just to find Radi0, his eyes filled with amusement.
"What?" I said, pushing the fur on my head down.
"Uh, n-nothing!" He said, trying to wipe the look on his face. He didn't do well, and I glared at him.
"How are you feeling today?"
"Better?" I blinked.
“That didn’t sound too confident, dude.”
“Yeah, I don’t feel too confident about it…” I looked at him, and then down the tree.
“Do you think that you’ll be able to climb down?” I pushed myself up and reached my talon down to help Radi0 up. He grabbed on and I pulled him up.
“Yeah,” he said, “It seems pretty easy.” I gave him the warmest smile that I could muster and then started climbing down the tree. Once I got to the ground, I glanced around, looking for… something? I wasn’t exactly sure, I just wanted to be safe. I didn’t find anything suspicious, just dead leaves, twigs, sticks, bushes and a clump of fire red flowers. I stepped towards the flowers. I sat down and stared at them. They were pretty. Radi0 walked up next to me and looked at the flowers.
“Do you know what type of flower they are?” He asked.
“I think so,” I replied. “I’m not too sure though.”
“What do you think it is?”
“A snapdragon?” I said. I leaned in a little closer and looked at the flowers. “They normally symbolize strength and positive energy, it might be a good thing that we came across them!” I looked up at Radi0 and smiled before plucking a few and standing up. “They’re called snapdragons because if you squeeze them,” I said, moving closer to Radi0 so he could see, “They look like a dragon’s head, I’ve never done it before because I’ve never seen one in real life, but we can test it!” I gently grabbed onto the back of the flower, making sure not to hurt it, and lightly squeezed it. The petals spread out and it really did look like a dragon’s head.
“Huh…” Radi0 said lightly, looking at the snapdragon. We started moving, what I was guessing was north, based on the sun. “How’d you know that?”
“The lab I was raised in specialized in plants,” I replied.
“Wait, a lab??” Radi0 said. “You were raised in a lab??”
“Yeah, did you think I was just naturally an immortal cat human mud thing?” I giggled. “Things like this don’t happen in nature, at least I don’t think they do. But, I wasn’t born immortal.”
“What do you mean?” Radi0 asked, speeding up a little. He turned around and walked backwards to face me. “Did they do something to you?”
“Well, yeah,” I said, fidgeting with the snapdragons. “I was a lab experiment, of course they did things to me.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I was able to escape anyway, it's all okay now!”
It went silent apart from the occasional snapping of twigs and brushing of leaves as we walked.
“They made you immortal?”
“Yep, they pushed an entire crystal into my head!”
“What?!”
“Yeah!” I pushed my fur away from my forehead. “Basically, all of my power comes from this.” I pointed to the quarter sized crystal embedded in my head. “It might be small but there’s so much about it, and I’m still learning about it! I think there might be more of them, and… maybe there are some people like me…” I looked at the snapdragons, and then at Radi0. He was giving me a weird look. It was a look that was hard to describe. So many emotions in one glance.
“Ack! Sorry! Didn’t mean to throw that all at you!” I laughed nervously and kept walking, focusing on the snapdragons. I looked at the sky, the sun was in the middle of the sky.
Already around noon? Fuck! I thought and sped up a little. I glanced back to make sure Radi0 was following. He stopped. I turned around and looked at him.
“Are… you okay?” I asked, taking a step towards him. He looked at me, his eyes full of rage. I stepped back.
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