im scared
i want to feel safe
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@dumbfkz
im scared
i want to feel safe
loving someone who’s not ready to love you
and you’re not sure if he ever will
even though you dream about being loved and cared for
you never promised me anything
you’re not responsible for my heart or feelings
your face rested, your emotions are calm
while i can barely hold onto my own feelings
i feel so heavy and distraught
if you wanted someone you would try your hardest right?
wouldn’t there always be a way if two people are willing?
i dont want things to be so one-sided
i want to be someone’s favourite person, to be thought of daily
i dont want to be taken for granted, it hurts
i want someone who’s also capable of trying for me, to make things work because i matter
and i also want to fight for someone who loves me
i need a warm embrace
because i’m losing it
i’m scared and i feel so sad
i want to reach for you
and i want to stay by you
only if you let me
everything is too much
im barely functioning
i also want to feel cared for
i want a warm embrace to calm my storm
because of everything going on
you’ve become more indifferent to me
i dont think you’re intentionally doing it
but the distance feels like its getting wider
when all i want is to become closer
you created space
you’re tired and reluctant
and its hurting me
i feel like i’m suffocating all the time these days
its not even something i can control on my own will
i cant just simply fix or improve myself
because im not even the cause to my own sadness
ive been told that im strong
but deep down inside im really going through it
i dont like being told that im depressed because i get angry at myself for letting it get to me
its not my fault, i know that
but eventually i have to pick
myself? or others?
i know for a fact that if i dont choose myself, there isn’t going to be a me anymore
im tired but hoping that one day i can freely be happy and loved
i only want to worry about my own problems and whoever else i want
its not like i never had passions and such enjoyments in life, i just have a hard time regaining enough strength to get that spark back into me because im exhausted
im still cheerful, but a piece of me is still missing
i need to get out of my situation and be selfish for the sake of myself
but when?
when will i let myself be free?
waiting for your life to come together?
figure everything out?
but who really has life all figured out?
sometimes loving someone isn’t supposed to be easy
it doesn’t connect together effortlessly
it can be hard and painful
but it makes it more meaningful if i stay and try
when you are worth it
hoping that one day things connect
but i know effort is needed on both ends to make it work
you put effort in things you love right
time and effort
willingly
i can’t help but feel like we’re not even trying to figure things out
its convenient just as it is?
convenience..comfort
how long can we stay like this
push it for another 2 years?
no direction, uncertainty
even though i already know what i want
but im scared because you would just tell me to leave if its too much
it makes our relationship feel so trivial
i dont want to bother anyone anymore
ill keep to myself
i been trying to keep it all together but i guess its gotten pretty bad when others can see that im almost at my limit
but its also a little comforting to know that they’d be there when i get to that point
i guess this is it
when will you answer to me?
do you really not want me
do you really not have strong feelings for me
am i alone in this
am i the only one that wants to be together
are you not happy with me
im sad
but who makes an effort to make sure that im okay?
who goes out of their own way for me?
its always just me trying even when im not okay
ill still try to be there and pull through and be strong so i can take care of others
but i want to be weak once in a while
i wanna be cared for and taken care of
to be prioritized