ok so i wanted to elaborate on some of your smash headcanons bc why not…..sorry i didnt include all the boys dsdjdkfkgl
jiro WILL teabag you (unless you’re ichiro). he teabags when he launches you off the stage, he teabags when he kills you, he teabags when you self-destruct…he could taunt but he finds teabagging to be so much funnier. his secondary main is ness bc he likes to spam pk fire with him, but he’s absolute trash at recovering with him.
saburo is an annoying competitive nerd who complains about buffs/nerfs with every update and threw a big hissy fit on twitter when byleth was revealed (even though he mains lucina)
jyuto may be a button masher but he eventually learned how to taunt and every time samatoki dies he taunts him. samatoki hates bayonetta now and will scream if he hears her say “if you need to learn how to talk to a lady, ask ur mum”
dice once convinced gentaro to play as little mac just so he could see him repeatedly fall off the stage. dice found it absolutely hilarious
of all the female characters in smash, isabelle terrifies hifumi the most for whatever reason. he once had a nightmare where she stole all his food, broke his legs, and placed him under arrest for tax fraud
rei may not know what he’s doing but there was this one time when he kept spamming side b and down b with bowser and it frustrated the hell out of sasara and rosho
hitoya once convinced jakurai to play smash with him just because he wanted an excuse to finally kick his ass. hitoya lost somehow (even though jakurai is absolute trash at the game and can’t recover with dr mario at ALL) and he broke the controller
who do the boys main in smash bros, and are they any good at it?
ichiro: marth. very good at the game
jiro: sonic. good at the game but he chooses to be annoying rather than strategize
saburo: lucina. good but he plays dirty and it’s really annoying
samatoki: sheik. fairly good but also highly likely to break the controller
jyuto: bayonetta. does not know how to play smash but he will spam all of the buttons at you
rio: randomizes every time. does not know how to play smash but he’s having a good time
ramuda: kirby. chooses to make jokes about succing but also he’s p good
gentaro: rosalina. very bad at the game, does not know which character is his, frequently walks off the stage
dice: isabelle. he’s average but he enjoys confusing gentaro
jakurai: dr. mario. he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing and he doesn’t understand the point of the game
hifumi: pikachu. he’s average but he cries if someone is playing a female character
doppo: dark samus. he’s okay but he can get overly aggressive
sasara: jigglypuff. he pretends to suck at the game but he’s actually pretty good
rosho: pokemon trainer. he’s decent but he tends to avoid playing as much as he can.
rei: bowser. he has no idea how to play and usually holds the controller upside down but he still manages to win more often than not
kuko: inkling. he’s decent enough but his strategy is just to spam the buttons and scream
jyushi: lucario. he’s okay but he gets nervous and messes up easily and then he throws a fit and cries
hitoya: mewtwo. he is not very good at the game but he’s managed to figure out how to beat jyushi and occasionally kuko and that is all that matters to him
ichiro - he has made anime-themed kahoots and tries to host them with his brothers or sometimes just random people on the street? but he’s chill
jiro - an expert at vine kahoots, very lazy at school ones. always has a really stupid name that the teacher has to delete
saburo - an absolute try-hard. if he isn’t the number 1 on the leaderboard, he will threaten you and he will throw a hissy-fit. he will also cry if he’s not in the top 3
samatoki - he has absolutely no clue what kahoot is actually for but if he isn’t number 1 no matter what he will break your computer
jyuto - jyuto does not know what kahoot is
rio - rio does not know what kahoot is
ramuda - he’s the one who shouts out the wrong color in order to trick everyone else into getting it wrong. his nickname is just a bunch of emojis
gentaro - he’s also the one who shouts out the wrong color
dice - he will sit awkwardly close to gentaro and click the wrong option on gentaro’s screen. but he also sucks at kahoot and sometimes gives gentaro the correct answer by complete accident while getting it wrong himself
jakurai - jakurai does not know what kahoot is
hifumi - he will cry when he gets it wrong and that’s kinda it
doppo - he does not like kahoot. that’s it
sasara - he designed his own kahoot game about some random topic but he intentionally made all of the “correct” answers wrong so that he’s the only one that has a chance
rosho - he pulls up random kahoots that he finds online for his class, but sometimes when the class takes it too seriously he panics and cries
rei - rei does not know what kahoot is
kuko - he is not good at kahoot but if someone is doing it better than him he will take their phone and yeet it onto the ground, smashing it into pieces
jyushi - he is nervous and cries. if he gets it wrong, he hides his screen so that no one can see the red glow of shame
hitoya - he only knows about kahoot because kuko wants to beat the shit out of him in it but he refuses to play
saburo plays on Cool Math Games Dot Com. you cant change my mind
both jiro and saburo play on cool math games dot com. the difference is, saburo plays it in his free time because he’s a nerd who likes doing math games, and jiro plays it in the middle of history and insists that it’s academic
jiro has used his hypnosis mic powers to quote memes. once when he felt like pissing off saburo he recited the bee movie script. another time he sang two trucks by lemon demon. he needs to stop
hypnosis mics basically work by turning the mental damage you’re causing into physical damage so if he started meming at, say, jakurai, there would be no effect because jakurai is only feeling confusion, not pain. but because saburo is well acquainted with meme culture and knows what’s happening and hates it, he just keeps slowly taking physical damage as if he were poisoned. jiro only stops when ichiro’s enjoyment and patience have worn thin and he starts dying as well
who is the most likely to unironically eat pineapple pizza?
-saburo does not enjoy pineapple pizza, but he does eat it purely to piss off jiro. ichiro does not judge, but on the inside he is disappointed
-jyuto. i do not have an actual reason, but i can just picture his smug face smirking at me as he slowly eats a slice of pineapple pizza. taunting me.
-rio does not care what is on the pizza, whether it be pineapples or gourmet spider limbs
-dice will eat anything that qualifies as food and some things that do not
-jakurai but only when drunk and wearing a hawaiian shirt (both requirements have to be met)
-hifumi. he just looks like a pineapple and he has bad taste
-rei. he gives off those vibes
-jyushi’s a baby but i believe he genuinely enjoys pineapple pizza, more than anyone else on this list. he may be my son but i’m nominating him as the true pineapple pizza eater of the gang
i’m so sorry that like half the cast is on this list but this is how i feel
another stupid headcanon: ichiro once had jakurai babysit saburo bc he was busy w/ work and jiro was at soccer practice. jakurai came in wearing a shirt that said "420 blaze it" and an mlg hat, and he was also saying things like "it's lit fam" in a desperate attempt to look cool. saburo was very disappointed
it wasn’t jakurai’s own doing. he’s fine with just vibing and being old because he doesn’t have the time to worry about being hip and cool. rather, it was ramuda who encouraged him (read: forcefully showed him a powerpoint) to wear and say these things and jakurai, being jakurai, just went with it because hey, maybe the fetus will enjoy it. and saburo, upon seeing this tall, tall man with hair past his ass wearing his 420 blaze it shirt and his mlg hat spouting random slightly outdated slang, promptly felt his soul leave his body and he hasn’t been the same ever since
do you accept other people’s stupid headcanons? if so, here’s one of mine: whenever saburo loses bets against jiro, he’s forced to do some stupid dance. once he had to do every fortnite dance. once he had to tik tok dance. another time he had to dance to peanut butter jelly time while wearing a banana suit.
he’s like, weirdly good at it too. like jiro started it because he wanted to see saburo make a fool of himself, and yeah it does do that, but he was thinking more along the lines of “haha im gonna watch saburo trip over himself trying to fortnite dance.” but instead what he got is saburo masterfully renegading in shame??? the reason its gotten this far is because jiro is trying to find something saburo can’t do
ik japan doesnt really eat cereal but. who is the most likely to pour the milk in first
gonne be honest i dont have real reasons for most of these besides it felt right
Cereal First:
-Jyuto
-Ichiro
-Saburo
-Gentaro
-Jakurai
-Rosho
-Rei
-Jyushi
Milk First:
-Samatoki
-Jiro
-Ramuda
-Hifumi
-Sasara
-Kuuko
Other:
-Rio does not believe in cereal
-Dice does not believe in milk, he eats the cereal with his bare hands
-Doppo is in too much of a rush to pay attention to what he’s doing so he varies. Sometimes if one is missing, he’ll either drink a bowl of milk or eat dry cereal for breakfast
-Hitoya pours a little bit of cereal, then a little bit of milk, then more cereal, then more milk until he’s satisfied
i could introduce this in an overly formal way but the gist of it is: hands are fucking hard to draw, and sometimes, even the hypmic artists get them wrong. i’m largely going to be focusing on anything that isnt inside the covers of the manga because i do not feel like sifting through chapters of manga in a rabid search of hands. anyways, i will be sorting this into categories in descending order of roughly how bad i think they are. (and yes, there are definitely some hands i missed along the way, don’t @ me.) so, let us begin!
category 1: hands that just look kinda wonky
ichiro, honey, why does your hand look. off center. and why does the thumb side look so thicc
samatoki, why is your thumb so short
and honey why are your knuckles so. overshaded? and that thumb, sir, is on thin ice
dice i dont think your thumb is supposed to bend that way. it could be worse but sir
saburo the hand itself is fine but why are the shadows just the void
ichiro why does your hand look like a sausage. and why is your thumb so short
this isn’t actually that bad but it takes some talent to cross those two fingers that much. also rio west coast confirmed?
jakurai honey something is wrong with your palm
hifumi it looks like your middle and ring fingers are just nubs
doppo your index finger bends in the same way mine does and your thumb is short compared to the rest of your fingies
category 2: hands that are too long
rosho, there’s been worse but that’s a long finger. also why are your other fingers just the void
jakurai i get it you’re tall but why are your fingers so long and your thumbs so short. the lines for the bones do not help
there are more of these but i got lazy and also some of them belong in other categories (such as dice’s broken thumb in the above category)
category 3: hands that would probably look good in a jagged, cartoony art style but now they just look broken
dice what is that
rio, i dont think your index finger is supposed to do that. its not anatomically fucked up but it’s off. also your pinkie shouldnt be bending that way sir what happened in the military
kuko honey what are your joints
jyushi your thumb is broken
JYUSHI YOUR HAND IS BROKEN
category 4: hands that just look kinda wonky but its like. horrifying this time
i made this category for the sole reason of shaming this particular hand of saburo’s because honey, what the actual fuck, what is that
but of course jiro is also here with this monstrosity, sure, it’s less salad fingers/body horror than saburo’s but. sir that is not okay put that away
category 5: gentaro is that your thumb
GENTARO. YOU HAVE BEEN SHOWING OFF THIS HAND OF YOURS SINCE THE BEGINNING, IM SURE WE ALL RECOGNIZE IT, BUT SIR. WHY DO YOU HAVE FIVE FINGERS AND NO THUMBS? GENTARO WHY
GENTARO WHAT IS THAT. THAT IS NOT A THUMB THAT IS EXTENDED. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING SHIT IS THIS
(authors note: gentaro has been proven to have real thumbs)
category 6: this isn’t more hands but thank you for suffering through this with me, if you have any more terrible hands you think i need to see, feel free to send them over
