Your new E-girlfriend

Dumb bitch

[illinicoise]

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

[spn-fandom-breathing-heavily]

not even risking that shit

[codyslipring-deactivated2015060]

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

[tumblgang]

She ain’t no games in real life so I take her serious all the time

Anyone with a name that starts with a “Z”, ends with an “i”, and isn’t some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS

I’m not climbing no mountain with a pig on my back, 🙅🏽🙅🏾🙅🏿 Negative.

[skuubasally]

Nope. I know better, have your reblog Madame Zeroni.

[luckytaters]

who the fuck is Madame Zeroni

[saudadesinfinitas-deactivated20]

Look at these stupid children who don’t know who Madame Zeroni is

[drayaintshit-deactivated2019030]

☝🏾😂

[callmedeku24]

Man lissen if you don’t know you better ask somebody AFTER you hit the reblog button

[emeraldmercury]

Idk who she is but I have an exam today so I’ll reblog her

[haiku-robot]

idk who she is but i have an exam today so i’ll reblog her

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!

[jacobmick]

Because wise, I am.

[seymonecristina]

Oh fucks no she’s back lmao must reblog. I’m sorry guys

[blackgirlart]

2 million people aren’t wrong

[less16candles]

Sorry guys but she’s back and I’m not risking it

[ashfire05]

I’m reblogging only because fuck you I love Madame Zeroni

[dumbslutsclub]

Person A: *on the couch drinking from a cup and doing work*

Person B: what are you doing

Person A: I gotta write this paper so I’m drinking just a little coffee, mixed with Red Bull, and half a can of monster energy drink

Person B: *looks at person A confusedly* the fact that your heart didn’t stop yet from beating too fast is fucking astounding

[dumbslutsclub]

Person A: *sniffing person b’s hoodie*

Person B: what the fuck are you doing why are you smelling my jacket like it’s cocaine

Person A: because this is my cocaine you dumb twat

[dumbslutsclub]

Person A: *is angry at person b*

Person B: hey babe you’re hot like lava *touches person A’s hand*

Person A: shut the fuck up fuck weasel you’re not fucking funny fuck you bitch don’t touch me

Person B: ok ok I’m just gonna...go cry

[dumbslutsclub]

Person A: *is eating potato chips in the dark at 3AM*

Person B:*turns on the lights* what the fuck are you doing that has so much fucking carbs

Person A: good thing carbs don’t fucking exist after 12PM bitch

[dumbslutsclub]

Person A: ah what a good night to stay in and watch Netflix

Person B: you wanna go out I’ll pay

Person A: suddenly my clothes are on, my hair is done and my love of fun is back after 6 years

[waifau]

Person A: *falls in front of person B* I guess I’ve fallen for you ;)

Person B: you literally just fell down the stairs and your bone is poking out of your leg

Person A: *looking in defeat and damn near in tears from pain* call the paramedics

[dumbslutsclub]

Person A: if I had a million dollars I would buy a ticket to see Beyoncé

Person B: I’d buy the sweet release of death to come and take me

Person C: *whispering to person A* Are they ok?

Person A:I-I don’t know

[dumbslutsclub]

Person A: hey babe watch this it’s gonna be epic

Person B: I don’t think you should do that you’ll hurt yourself

Person A: *does it anyway like a idiot and breaks their wrist* FUCKKKKKKKKKKK

Person B: no one listens till they get hurt

[dumbslutsclub]

Person A:I'm so tired of not being loved and appreciated

Person B: *stares in disbelief* OH SO I DON'T APPRECIATE YOU SO WHAT'S THIS THEN *pulls out their shrine of person A*

Person A: AW SHUCKS YOU MADE A SHRINE OF LIL OLE ME

[dumbslutsclub]

Person A: hey have you seen my favorite jacke-

Person B: *wrapped in their jacket asleep*

Person A: I have been blessed on this day

[dumbslutsclub]

Person A: *gets a paper cut* Ow

Person B: *runs over to hold them* WHO HURT YOU I WILL D E S T R O Y THEM

[dumbslutsclub]

In a fight

Person A: BITE ME!

Person B: *pulls person A close and begins sucking on their neck*

Person A: NOT WHAT I MEANT BUT KEEP GOING!

[dumbslutsclub]

Person B: hey babe can we get this?

Person A: No

Person B: Obama wouldn't treat me like this

Person A: What are you talking about babe?

Person B: Babe Obama care

Person A: Babe no thats n- you know what yeah that's what it means

[saddest-cat-hours]

[weavemama]

kermit really is that bitch…… he went from crying in showers and talking to negative inner monologues to running freely in a dandelion field,,…i’m tryna be on this level

[weavemama]

reblog happy kermit for a full month of good luck 

[blankpointdankmemes]