The crew wander back to the woods, where they find a bear corpse
upon search they find the bear has a gaping hole in its chest and no heart
Iohanna scans the necromancer books but finds nothing to reanimate the bear
Tefma checks for magic, and determines it’s a remove heart spell
Hariun manages to scavenge all the meat off the bear- enough for a solid week.
Mialee notices a small beaten path through the brush, leading away from the bear
They follow the brush to a very large deer, also missing a heart
Tefma determines that the spell being used is a spell beyond any school’s knowledge
They continue to follow the path, littered with tiny heartless bodies, until they come across a human body, also missing its heart.
“Guys, something really evil is going on,this is the most powerful spell I’ve ever seen, and even if we all die, we have to stop it!”
Hariun and Opal walk into actual hearts dangling from the trees, tied up in red ribbons
Tefma marches up to the cottage - Mialee tries to grab her but fails.
Tefma knocks on the door- no answer
She knocks harder- “Come in”
Inside is a 50 year old man, lying seductively in a bed, wearing nothing but a wizard hat. There are rose petals scattered across the floor. Sweet jazz music starts playing, until the wizard realizes who’s at the door, but cuts it
The wizard explains he was expecting his wife to walk in, and says that he’ll put all the hearts back where he got them if they deliver a package to his wife
his wife is on the other side of the river, having her ‘lady time’
They agree, and bring the box to the other side of the island. He gives them one of her shoes to help find her
They cast a few seeking spells on the shoe to find her cottage, and are attacked by shadowcats
They run to the cottage and beat on the door to be let in
The woman opens the door, then shuts it again when they say they have a package from her husband.
They get her to open the door again, and she explains she doesn’t really want to be married to the wizard anymore, because he got a lot creepier as time went on
Iohanna offers to make sure he never contacts her again
Tefma confirms that the lady is bisexual for Iohanna’s sake
They return to the wizard
They develop a plan, where Iohanna touches the Wizard with one of the “Anal Beads of Freezing” in order to immobilize him, but misses. The wizard comes out to fight them.
Mialee sets the wizard on fire
Tefma makes the wizard big
The wizard crashes into the trees as he dies, starting up a wildfire.
“Consensual meat touching only”
