thoughts from Dust

my personal journal | 23 | In all things, rest is sweet; there is sur feit even in honey, even in Aphrodite's lovely flowers. - Pindar

[dustedmemory]

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。About Me:

　ﾟ･｡･

Originally known as DontTakeMyHand

Name: Dusty

ENFP-T

she/her

Lesbian

If you can breath I probably want to kiss you

Age: 23

Zodiac: Leo (July)

Hobbies: Writing, Painting, Drawing, Dungeons and dragons!!!! and gaming.

Music Enthusiast.

Chronically Tired.

Got that dog in me

(the dog is rabid)

Discord: dusty2150

Always up for making friends :)

And always up for random philosophical debates at 3am.

interact with me i promise i don’t bite unless asked to

Random shit acc: @pasta--cat

[dustedmemory]

Do I have the right?

do I have the right to be touched,

to touch?

My mouth waters,

and my insides coil until it hurts to breath

I swallow down the need.

Do I have the right to touch?

Do I have the right to your love?

[dustedmemory]

I keep you between my teeth every night before I go to bed.

so that I might squeeze my jaw until you spill out and fill the inside of my mouth like liquid gold.

Drip into my chest and paint my heart gold so that I might be good.

I close my eyes and feel the way your consciousness melds into my chest like it was always there,

encapsulating around my lungs and heart like a rib cage.

Keep my heart in place, please

so that I might feel whole.

[dustedmemory]

Lauurrrrrrrrren you mother fucker

[dustedmemory]

Depraved and needy on this fine night

[goetic-justice]

You guys are always like "being crushed by 10,000 tons of rock probably feels good as hell" or "being torn to pieces by hunting dogs would low key fix me" and I feel like those things would actually be unpleasant.

[goetic-justice]

How about "Drinking an ice cold strawberry milkshake probably feels good as hell". Do you guys like that one.

[kafkaswasteddayz]

not now honey, mommy’s yearning for something that once was and will never be again

[dustedmemory]

the need to care for someone is a painful thing

the desire to have someone to bicker with and be patient with

to work with, to talk with, be quiet with

someone to lean on, and be leaned on by

it curls in my guts and twists me up

until I can only hold onto myself and hope to fill the space with my own fingers in my chest

[dustedmemory]

Like a blanket fresh from the dryer

your warmth in the morning is a safety i havent felt before

hold me closer in your sleep, let me feel the need of your heart

I’ll stay soft and pliant against your back, curled like a stray cat in a patch of sunlight

[dustedmemory]

the ache of you remains with every move i make

tender talk and harsher hands —

I feel you every where I go.

it will follow me through out my time until I see you again

And when your hands find the soft part of my belly, and dig until the flesh begins to mold

i’ll ask you to make me ache all over again

and feel you tighten your hold.

[dustedmemory]

I feel you lay against my chest.

I wish of you to stay forever.

[dustedmemory]

something about a chin pressed to a back

a warmth against spine.

never mind the drool on my shoulder

I am safe, i am warm

i am captive but comfortable.

i will not move, for fear of losing your warmth

i will not move, incase you believe you need to move away.

A frightened animal i may be,

but you are comfortable

you are close.

and your hands resting against my back may very well keep me from moving ever again.

[dustedmemory]

there is a creeping vine in my right lung

i feel it when i breathe in,

but only for specific breaths

when i’m watching two lean close together

a kiss shared in private when they don’t think anyone is watching

i feel the vine grow when I am alone, in a crowd

the thorns are so small, but they graze against the walls of my breath.

They tighten around my throat every time that unbearable heat comes back late at night

when my hands trail too far down

and those vines strangle me, when the tips of fingers are only my own

the thorns are so small

i could almost ignore them

until the blood comes up on my tongue

every time i’m reminded i am alone

[dustedmemory]

double sided pizza

[dustedmemory]

when the hell did i say this????

[dustedmemory]

double sided pizza

[dustedmemory]

must be tonight

[dustedmemory]

would it be unfair to ask if you remember it all?

because sometimes the ache doesn’t leave

and i’m left wondering if I’m the only one who thinks of it all

over and over

and over and over

do we have a chance to find that in someone else?

or am i trapped in memories of what i wish i could find in someone again