I have finished Thirteen Reasons Why one hour a go. And this thoughts are still here. This show have thouched me in the way I couldn't never expected. First of all, 13 Reasons Why's a series about human fragility. It's about several important issues that are not yet treated as they should be. Depression, suicide, rape, bullying, relationships, vicious, gossip, lies, truth, feelings, struggle, help and various other situations that can happen to anyone. And that happens. Daily. At school, at work, at home, in your city and anywhere. I could feel and see myself in Hannah Baker, Clay Jensen, Jessica, Alex, Justin, Tony, Skye, Sheri, Zach, Jeff, Olivia, Laine and others. Something that caught my attention was the our need to be helped. We are human and imperfect. And we need help at some point. Hannah needed, as Clay did, Justin and so many others in the show. But those three drew my attention. Hannah is treated like a pretty girl, smart, funny, popular and loved. Clay is portrayed as a handsome kid that everyone loves. Justin's a usual handsome athlete but also lives in an unstable and abusive home. Hannah isn't the usual stereotype of a person who needs help. And maybe that's why it was so easy for others not to pay attention to the fact that she needed help. Maybe it was easier to ignore. Justin is the guy that no one thinks he needs help but who actually live getting some kind of help in a way. The problem is that often this help comes from someone who doesn't care about him or what's happening. He only gets help when he needs it. But there doesn't seem to be anyone who really cares. The person who care about him the most was the one he most failed. I think Clay was the guy who more got help on the show, every time he needed it, someone was there. At some point it was his mother, Tony, his father or some friend. And I think that maybe that's why he's always trying to help someone. It's the one that received the most and somehow returned. As I write it seems like I'm talking about someone who exists, as if this story actually happened. The problem's that it happens. 13 Reasons Why may just be another series inspired by a book that I haven't read. But I know this story is real, because I've seen it before. Not just with strangers. But I've already experienced some situations that happened in the series. The character that I've identified myserlf the most was Clay, not because him wanted to help almost everyone, but because It's seems that I was always helped when I needed it. I haven't been and I'm not the most popular girl, or prettier, or with the greatest personality, or the most intelligent, brave or funny girl. But as I watched the series I remembered several situations that have already happened to me. And one pattern I noticed was that I always got some kind of help. Even when I chose not to receive. At some point I received help from my mother, my father, someone in the family, some friend or even a stranger person. In the last episode, Hannah say's to Mr. Porter that she didn't feel anything, that she doesn't care anymore. And I remembered some moments when I felt like this. Unlike Hannah, who expected some help from Mr. Porter. I remember a moment when I didn't really expect anything. I didn't even think that I needed it help. But I felt so lost. Something had changed. I didn't know what was happening with me. Everything seemed confused and foggy. And the only thing I remember well was that I didn't wanna feel that way. I just wanted to stop. Honestly suicide didn't even occur in my head in this situation. Truly, my only goal was to feel numb for a few moments. Maybe I just need time to organize my thoughts and to understand what was happening. At that moment I only needed to smoke so that I could disappear for a while. And I smoked one, two, three ... when I noticed it had been seven days. What I found very strange is that I didn't feel hungry. I love food. And I eat a lot. But for seven days I didn't even think about food. I don't remember eating. Strangely, my pants was much more loose. And honestly, I only remember having taken four baths that week. In a four situations that I've a appointment and I needed to get out of my house. Luckily I was living in a cold place, imagine if it was in Recife? But on the seventh day, a friend came and look into my eyes. There's something that I recognized. That look of concern that usually we receives a lot from our mothers. And I don't remember the exact words, but it was something like: Rai, what's going on? I'm worry about you, we're all. I want to help. What can I do? Let's cook something delicious? Something like this she said it. A truly friend always know how to make you feel better. Something so simple, and you begin to feel better again. When I look back I really can't figure out why I's acting like that. Today when I understand well what's happened, I honestly think that was a silly reaction. But it was something I needed to feel. It's just a case of a broken heart. Silly me, the queen of the imaginary love. But it isn't because today I see this moment as a silly thing, that in that moment has been. I'm not the bravest person. Maybe I'd like to write about something more relevant, but I think this story is something that I feel comfortable sharing. Personal but impersonal at the same time. The point is that I feel very lucky and grateful to have someone who has helped me even when I didn't think that I needed to. But of course not everyone is so lucky to have someone who cares, or just can see that someone can really help, make some diference or allow themselves to be helped. I've had some experiences with suicide. Although I had never really tried, I would have been lying if it have cross my mind at some point. That thought that seems to be something that made sense. But these experiences I lived aren't mine, I don't feel the right to share. I've seen people who got help at that right moment. And it's still a mystery to me why. How does this happen? how can a life be saved? Why some people can be saved and others doesn't. Hannah was loved, as many people who commit suicide. Suicide is very delicate. It's not necessarily only the things that happen on the outside that influence, as the series shows. There's a lot of insides thoughts. Just as it's shown in the relationship of Clay and Hannah. The way we feel's inexplicable. It's much more complex and we don't have a manual on how to proceed yet. I've the impression that the stories of someone who has committed suicide, that someone who has overdose or that depression has killed is getting more and more common. Why we're not trying harder? What's missing? We're becoming more insensitive to each other and to ourselves. How's ignoring ourselves and the people around us is easier and more common than doing something? "It has to get better. The way we treat each other, and look out for each other. It has to get better somehow."
Believe me in some point you also can need help and you can give help. So help someone or accept the help that you need.
Acredite que em algum momento você também precisa de ajuda e mais ainda que você precisa e pode ajudar alguém. Então ajude alguém ou aceite a ajuda de alguém.
