Today I bring to youuuu 🥁🥁🥁🥁
Wrath x Emilia edition, more coming in the future (envy x Camilla and just general character ones)
Emilia: Why can’t we all just get along?
Wrath: Because most of us are assholes, Emilia.
Wrath: I think we should kiss.
Emilia: And I think you should die but we don’t always get what we want.
Wrath: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?
Wrath: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Emilia: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Wrath: I said within reason, Emilia. How about I murder that guy?
Emilia: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
Wrath: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?
Emilia: Wrath and I are no longer dating.
Wrath: Emilia, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.
Wrath: What makes a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
Emilia: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three.
Emilia: One... two... three.
Emilia: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.
Cop: Can you describe the person who stabbed you?
Wrath: Lithe, spirited, outgoing, and not afraid to speak her mind. She was a raw sexual force and she knew it. She was a dandelion fluff on a summer day, gone in an instant, leaving you with nothing but a memory of her touch and the faint taste of strawberries on your lips.
Cop: …Great, we have a motive, but we still need a description.
Emilia: We all have our demons.
Emilia, grabbing Wrath: This one’s mine.
Wrath, admiring a sleeping Emilia: You’re so cute.
Emilia, sleepily: I could beat your ass.
Wrath: This is a very powerful artifact. You’d be messing with some forces we don’t fully understand.
Emilia: That sounds like a dare to me.
Wrath: I could kill you if I wanted.
Emilia: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.
Emilia: Wrath, we tried things your way.
Emilia: I did it in my head and it didn't work.
Emilia: Why are you burning our marriage certificate!?
Wrath: Good luck trying to return me without a receipt.
Wrath: *casually taking four stairs at a time*
Emilia, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time: Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-
Emilia: Snow got me feeling some type of way.
Wrath: That's hypothermia.
Emilia: Damn, the paramedics told me it was the magic of Christmas.
Wrath and Emilia: I am so horny and angry all the time.
Fauna: Hey, did you do what I said? Did you tell him?
Fauna: And what did he say?
Fauna: You’re totally welcome. What’d he say?
Emilia: he said, “Thank you.” I said “I love you” and Wrath said, “Thank you.”
Wrath: No need to sound so disappointed. (This one is kind of cheating bc in the first book literally "I thought you were dead" "sorry to disappoint you, witch.")
Emilia: My hands are cold.
Wrath: Here, let me hold them.
Emilia: My lips are cold too.
Wrath: *covers Emilia's mouth with his hand*
Wrath: *Turns on the kitchen light*
Emilia: *Sitting at the table, eating bread*
Wrath: It’s four in the morning.
Emilia: Turn the light back off.
Wrath: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close.
Vittoria: It's fucking summer.
Emilia: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
Wrath: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
Emilia: But you’re always acting stupid?
Wrath: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.
Wrath: Oh! I’ve been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely.
Wrath: Punch me in the face.
Wrath: Yes, punch me, didn’t you hear me?
Emilia: I always hear ‘punch me in the face’ while you’re speaking but it’s usually just subtext.
Emilia: how many people have you said that to?
Wrath: I told everyone that I love you