this might be a hot take but i HATE reading bimbo reader fics.
to be specific like hyper feminine reader who's literally the embodiment of a male fantasy and she's just stupid as fuck and has no self respect and is literally only used to furthur the plot by having sex with whoever the oneshot is about. its one thing when the fic actually has depth to it and is genuinely interesting to read, but when reader stops having a personality and good dialogue is when I drop the work because at what point does this become an excuse to literally write vile porn where a man degrades a woman for 6k words while plowing her from the back???? i don't mean to be that guy but we spent tewww long fighting for individuality just to give into the male gaze and turn our characters into literal fleshlights for the sake of kinks and horniness. I do understand the view of "well it's just writing" "well if you don't like it don't read it" "well degradation/dumbification kink" "well self-insert/self-indulgent", but in my personal opinion it gets to a point of being straight porn and feeding into the male fantasy of stupid big tiddy fat booty perfect body dumb bimbo porn bitches and just wanting to write about sex and being able to dumb down the reader to make it easier to write. yes I do dabble in bimbo reader fics sometimes they're cunty as fuck, I literally just read one the other day, but some fics do a very bad job at portraying a dumb sexy reader with a personality.
in no way AT ALL am I shaming writers by posting this because I myself am a mid ass writer and I rarely write anymore anyways so honestly feel free to completely ignore this because if you disagree then why should a random opinion matter to you :)
Hiromi rarely called it "fucking" when you both did it. In his concepts, this intimate process was "making love" but by no means a “fuck” or now a popular word among teenagers like "cracking".
You always loved that you and him did it by putting your whole soul into it. You liked the way he touched you, gently stroked your hair and whispered praises in your ear. Most important, you never felt like you didn’t want it, because you were always ready to give your whole self to Hiromi.
Even tonight.
Even when you worked your 12-hour shift at the hospital and came home to rest, your body was breaking down from exhaustion.
And somehow, tonight, his touches were especially rough on your thin pale skin. And his thrusts caused discomfort instead of the usual pleasure.
"Fuck, yes… You taking me so fuckin’ good, honey."
He pulled his length out and thrusted again, that made you scream slightly. Your nails scratched his strong back. Hiromi pressed you completely to the mattress, fucking you dumb. He pressed his lips to your ear as one hand wiped the sweaty hair off your face.
"Yeah, just like that, love. You’re making such filthy noises."
Usually, such phrases turned you on. Usually, you always liked being so close to him. But right now you weren’t feeling the usual warmth inside your chest, just pure pain and tension in your muscles after your shift.
And then those obsessive thoughts after you were yelled by an old lady-patient today, and how you accidentally spilled hot coffee on yourself.
Tears have clumped in the corners of your eyes as you moan again. But not because of pleasure, but of another spark of pain. And then you just started pushing away a man from yourself.
"H-Hiro… Ahhh fuck…"
You wanted to hold out longer just so he could finish, but you were in so much pain that you became extremely nervous and your body refused to keep going.
"R-red…"
When that word slipped through your lips, your husband stopped and pulled out of you instantly, looking at you with worried expression.
"Love, you alright?"
Just three simple words and you could no longer hold back your tears that slowly began to pour out of your eyes. You just nodded silently to him and buried your face in the pillow.
"Hey, darling, shhh… Please, don’t turn away your face from me." He gently touched your wet cheek with his knuckles and stroked it.
"I’m so sorry, Hiro…" If it hadn’t been the silence in the room, he probably wouldn’t have heard you, 'cause you said that even quieter than a whisper.
"What? Why are you apologizing, honey?"
You turned your crying face to him and he could have sworn that there was nothing more beautiful than your doll face and messy hair in the dim light of your shared bedroom.
"I really wanted to hold out until the end, but then I got so uncomfortable and..." Your husband leaned up at you and kissed you on the lips to shut you up.
"I’m glad that you told me to stop in time. We can’t 'make love' when one of us doesn’t want it, much less you." You took a heavy breath and let down your gaze. "Your comfort is the most important, darling." He went down and began to cover the thin skin of your naked body with kisses. And you just slowly started to relax.
"I was so tired after the hospital. Maybe it’s ‘cause today was rough. Sorry I didn’t tell you before. I didn’t want to upset you." Your voice sounded empty and guilty. Hiromi couldn’t let that happen.
He helped you sit down on the blankets and pillows on the bed and also took a sitting position. He took your hand in his. "It’s partly my fault that I didn’t see how you were after work. Even if you agreed, I should have been sure of your condition. I’m sorry, darling."
He leaned over and kissed you again, and this time it was more sensual, making your skin shiver. You were grateful that you didn’t make a mistake in choosing a man. Hiromi Higuruma, this man is the best thing that has ever happened to you. Although he always says that he is the "lucky one" because he has you. It should be said that you were both lucky.
When he pulled back, he saw a light smile on your face that made him feel much better.
"But what are we going to do now?" you asked.
"How about a movie and some cuddles? And food delivery? And massage? I know how much your body needs it right now, honey."
You giggled happily and hugged your husband tightly, giving him lovely kisses all over his face.
You always knew that your husband Hiromi was a workaholic. A constant job, a busy schedule and of course no healthy sleep. As if nothing else, he was a lawyer. And not just a regular one but one of the most prestigious and sought-after here in Tokyo.
“Not today, honey.”
“I’m really busy, sweetheart.”
And other similar phrases you received in response constantly when you had a dialogue with him where you offered a new activity so you guys at least can spend a little more time together. And you understood, really. Oh gosh, you really tried to understand him. To look at the world from his perspective to say that. To see his side, because you knew he was trying for both of you.
But why you? Why are you trying to understand him, and he doesn’t have to understand you? Why is his job always between your marriage? And why do you always give in to him, but Hiromi can never find time for you? For his wife.
And that’s how the argument started.
"You know very well who am I and what my responsibilities as a lawyer are. And I’m not lying to you when I say that I’m very busy and I don’t have time."
"But you always say that! You always use that damn argument!"
You both stood in your shared bedroom opposite each other, shared by your huge bed. Hiromi recently returned home, was still in his costume. And as usual late at night when you were already in your pajamas and preparing for bed.
"Y/N, so what do you want me to say if not this phrase that I’m busy?”
You stood in front of him and looked in the void. You didn’t know what you really wanted to hear from him. Your ears could no longer stand what you heard from him all the damn time. You didn’t even know if your husband was capable of saying anything other than the odious "I’m busy" to you.
You didn’t say a word, standing and pondering his question. Is it true that Hiromi can’t tell you something else than "I’m busy" when he’s a lawyer?
Tiredly breathing, your husband quietly began to untie his necktie and unbutton his shirt.
"I didn’t even know how selfish you are, Y/N. You can’t even understand me."
You froze up immediately after his words, which hit you like an electric shock.
You slowly turned your gaze from the wall to him standing by the closet and hanging his things. You couldn’t believe what you heard and wanted to make sure that it wasn’t hallucinations, but the actual words spoken by your husband.
But it definitely wasn’t fucking hallucinations.
"S-selfish? Am I selfish to you, Hiro? And you saying I’m not trying to understand you?" Your words were so quiet as a whisper. You would have been willing to slip through the ground just to avoid standing here beside him.
Hiromi raised one eyebrow on you, clearly annoyed by your behavior.
"And only now has it come to you? Grow up, Y/N. Adults have jobs and other more important responsibilities. You always think only of yourself and never want to understand what it’s like for me to be constantly stressed with my job."
You didn’t want to cry and make a scene. You really didn’t. But why do his words hurt you so? Especially when you know he’s wrong right now and blames you for "thinking only of yourself" when that is not true at all.
"And you know what’s even more annoying about everything? That you think I’m interested in all of this…shit. All your stupid ideas for dates, romantic dinners and invitations to go to those overstimulating events."
Your eyes are turning glassy and something inside slowly starts to break. Something in your chest is starting to hurt, as if it had stepped on you.
"I don’t understand why you keep trying. I’ve told you so many times that I don’t have time for all your baby whippings, and you keep going with this circus."
And he just keeps going.
"Hiromi…"
"If you really want to do what’s best for us, just don’t hysterize me here after my fucking job and stop trying when you know you’ll get the same answer."
That’s it.
That’s how he ended up saying everything he thought.
But he did it with his back to you while hanging his things in the closet and changing into his sleep pants.
And he clearly didn’t see your red, crying face and trembling hands. How salty tears flowed down your cheeks and you stood nervous, biting your lip to blood. The way you froze in place, unable to move, for your body seemed to be numb by shock and words heard.
Because he never talked to you like that. Openly insulting you and making you feel uncomfortable. No, that’s not the treatment you deserve. That’s not the treatment any woman in her marriage deserves. When she puts all of herself into her marriage, throwing away her dreams and career to become a housewife.
And your attempts to defend yourself? He didn’t even want to listen to you, continuing to say everything in his typical grumpy tone, not hearing your sobbing behind his back.
Maybe after everything he said there was no need to defend yourself, you thought and hastily put your trembling hands to your face and began to wipe away your tears with the back of the palms.
And that’s when your husband turned to you and saw what he had done. All the tears that caused his words to be said to you without considering the consequences. For the first time in his life, he realized that he had never done anything more humiliating.
You noticed that he was looking at you and your attempts to calm your tremor and felt... ashamed? You were ashamed of your own tears and uncomfortable that your own husband was looking at you. Your beloved husband.
"Hey, hey…"
The man carefully took a few steps towards you, but you, as if afraid of him, moved backwards. And it broke his heart in pieces.
"Love, please, I didn’t mean to…"
"I’m n-not selfish…" You looked at him with your swollen eyes through the vale of tears. And those beautiful eyes were red.
"No honey, of course you’re not."
"But you fucking said that! And you said that I don’t try to understand you! And that I need to grow up! And that you secretly hate everything I offer you!"
Your voice fell out and broke. You broke. And you couldn’t hold back your despair any longer.
"But you’re the selfish one, Hiromi! You are the one who never tried to understand me!"
You were right. And only now it slowly began to settle in his head.
"Darling, please…" He couldn’t look at this. He couldn’t physically bear the fact that made you suffer. And now watching you desperately try to protect yourself from him, after he realized he was screwed up just makes him swoon in pain.
"All my attempts to bring us closer were because of the despair that I missed you. I miss who you used to be. I miss us, Hiro…" That confession wasn’t what he expected. And it comes to him how stupid and blind he was all this time.
"I-I have always yielded to you and tried not to disturb you every time you said that you were busy and waited patiently for you to have at least one day off."
You covered your face again with your palms and fell down on the cold floor, sobbing with resentment and anger.
Hiromi came up to you and crouched down next to you. For the first time in these two years of your marriage, he didn’t know how to behave around you. He was ashamed. Incredibly ashamed. And he was angry with himself. He could only now feel disgust for himself and nothing else. You deserved better treatment.
You deserved to have your efforts noticed and praised. You deserved to be happy with someone who was actually compromising when you were too. And your husband knew he had failed at that task.
"Honey, Y/N, I’m so deeply sorry that I didn’t notice all your effort all this time. I’m so so sorry, my love…" He whispered, softly touching your hair, as if afraid to hurt you. "And I know how wrong I was when I called you selfish. Please forgive me."
He knelt down before you, very carefully touching your hands to remove them from your face.
And you let him. Just like touching your chin so you can look at him.
Your incredible eyes that once looked at him adoringly were now red and swollen with tears. Your cheeks were still damp, and your lips swollen and all in blood. Oh God, how he hates himself. He fucking hates himself.
He gently removed the tattered strands of hair from your face and looked at you with all his love through his brown, tired eyes under which lay the huge sacks.
He turned his gaze to your puffy lips and kissed them as gently as he did, trying to bring into this kiss all that could not be conveyed through simple words. But you couldn’t find the strength to kiss him back. Not after everything that happened. And he understood that. For the first time, he really understood you.
After the kiss with the taste of your metallic blood, he pressed his forehead to yours. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes.
"I can’t forgive you, Hiromi."
"I know."
You sat there for a couple of minutes in complete silence, listening to each other’s breath and heartbeat. Especially he yours.
"I know that I don’t deserve to be forgiven after all I’ve said. But I want to try to start over. Because I can’t lose you. You mean too much to me and I want to prove it to you."
