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I still feel some type of way cause me and mom didn’t hang out today.

…it’s probably the hormones.

I didn’t realize I feel shittier than 2 weeks ago

I want to vent about me and my life and how I’m currently living and how I want to do many things but the depression is eating at me. Seeing how I’m living at my place depresses me and it’s embarrassing. I want to take it one day at a time but I just want to lay down with the TV in the background and cry. Cry and wonder how it went wrong and what happened for it to all start. Was it when I was a child? A teen? When I started working? Why didn’t I seek help earlier? Why can’t I let go of this depression? I’m not sure what to do. I feel like a slob. I don’t eat. I can’t sleep or sleep too much. The energy is not there. The purpose isn’t there. Most times I want to disappear. Cut off everyone. Start over. I’ve been living like this wishing this for as long as I can remember. Maybe it all started when the smoke wasn’t real anymore. I just want to let it all out.

I’m so tired of everything. I can’t believe I didn’t really talk about this for so many years.

I feel so fucking tired of life and people feeling sorry. I feel alone. I always get these episodes. I want to tell my mom and my sister and my brother but they are just going to brush it off and pet much say that depression and anxiety doesn’t exist like they have been saying for so many years.

I want the best but keep getting the worse. Always doing something wrong.

I’m depressed 🙂