2017 is a much better than 2016. fight me on this, i’d still win.
I’ve had LESS breakdown. i mean, i forgot this thing for a freaking a long time lol and i’d wish i could hold onto my words but i can’t soooooo LETS HOPE FOR BETTER ON 2018.
next thing, this year has changing me into a great, better version of me. I’m still a girl, not truly a lady yet, but i know that i’m on my way there. so, that’s good.
and i’m not bullshiting again this time, i’m not gonna have a new year resolution but a wish for a better version of me. or the grown-up and wise version of me, either works.
This year, I accomplished 1) achieved 18; 2) going to college! 3) being a more sociable person lol; 4) being more honest to myself; 5) loving myself more and more.
...and there’s so much that i achieved, actually, but i kinda don’t remember lol. I wish that i could be a better dreamer. I’m happy that i sleep with a dream each night, because i used to sleep dreamless and wake up feeling nothing up in my gut. nothing to start the day right. i’m still numb per usual, but it’s getting much lesser. I can express my happiness, sadness, not everything tho. but i’m getting there.
so, it’s exactly 45 minutes while i write this sentence to a whole new year. tp 2018. to a better me. to a better life. to a BEST year. i hope. :)
looking back when i started this blog, i was on my room. i don’t remember what i was doing, exactly, that triggered me to do this. this as this tumblr.
but as much as i can remember, writing is always been a thing for me. it’s therapeutic in some kind of way. i had a journal, i still write on it. but posting it to tumblr is different. it’s like i could share a bit about what’s going on, and you probably can feel the same too.
not even lying, i had 4 draft posts that i never finished cause idk what’s to write anymore. i had ideas, mindsets, about what i’m gonna post, but it all just gone lol
2016 been a fucked up and also a great year, cos at least i know how to deal with some fucked up things that i havent been experience before. and i know that being 17 doesnt make any difference.
this year i’m going to be 18, going to college/uni, and truth is, thats what im mostly afraid of.
in the stage of early adulthood mostly people will make stupid mistake and theyre gonna cover it with dumb excuses and i know it will happen to me somehow.
lets just hope 2017 not as bad as 2016 was, and i am becoming smarter grown up young-adult.
more content coming up this yearrr as im already planned so much stuff sooo fresh start ehehe
me tried to not being answerless person -- Q&A part 2
i actually get the last q&a just fine but i remember another sixty-five questions which is, damn. I love questionnaire, don’t get me wrong. I would probably be the person who fill questionnaires just because i don’t have a life, BUT since I have a life i don’t fill that kind of thing, ya know.
so, now is saturday, tomorrow would be sunday, and monday is sure in line after that. and that means, i am going to go back to school. shit. i am a senior now.
OK. let’s start this q&a things alright
11. If you could use technology to do one thing, what would it be?
ok so i just speak to my friend yesterday, which give me an answer to this question. i am going to make something that could transfer fat (cos I'm hella fat) and i wish to transfer some of that to the people who needs more fat. without being hurt. period.
12. If you could speak to everyone in the world at the same time, what would you say?
probably a simple question about ‘how your days going?’ but i’m going to ask them to get deep you know like being real and not sugar-coat things
13. If you could bring back anyone from the dead, who would it be and why?
John Lennon.
14. If you could choose how you die, how would you go out?
I don’t know honestly if i die i would probably ask God to surprise me with His way and die in peace but it would be cool if i die when i’m travelling idk
15. If you were head of a major TV station for one day, what would you play?
DANG I WOULD PROBABLY PLAY ALL THOSE CRIME DRAMA TV SHOW LIKE NCIS YEAH THAT WOULD BE GOOD I WOULD BE SMART AS FUCK but for real tho
16. If it were possible, would you own a pet dinosaur? If so, which one and why?
idk i’m never good at petting or anything, if i do get one i will probably pet a puppy-size diplodocus i think it would be cute amirite
17. If you could abolish one piece of modern technology, what would it be and why?
i think it would be about re-newing technology bcs why you’re renewing it again if it’s still good enough to work and it’s absolutely pisses me off cause i just can't hold my hand to buy that new version of the said technology
18. Which one of your friends would make the best U.S. President and why?
definitely not my best-mates bcs we’re just a bunch of teenagers now hahaha the other kid i think but honestly idk
19. What’s your fondest childhood memory?
Probably to all travelling days my family used to do when my brother is still young and i’m still a baby-size girl bcs my parents is older now they’re just way too tired to accompanying us to going anywhere. Now i just walk/travel around with my friends or my brother.
20. If you were on death row, what would your final meal be?
BRING ALL THE DIABETES-FACTORY COME TO ME BB. i don’t even care if i get a diabetes or not i would probably die before i get the results haha
21. What makes you cry?
To think about how i disappointed every people in my life when they’re actually saying it in front of me. It hurts less actually if the person saying it in our face than they didn’t because we probably gonna wander around and disappoint another people on the way and sad things, yes.
22. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
Ramadan’s holiday! and new year’s and also term holiday and i also appreciate weekends. it’s sucks to have school in Indonesia bcs you don't have summer break,s winter breaks, spring breaks, or whatever-breaks so i basically appreciate every holiday and loving it haha
23. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?
uhh probably my math teacher because he is so great at talking and good at teaching. He’s one of the best person who gives the best advices and it actually works for you.
24. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?
I would rather live in a city. Big city, even. I’d ever try like a week living in my grandma’s house which is in a village and it giving me a hard time bcs i just can’t give myself up for shopping and i decided i would live in a big city that give me a comfort feeling. love that.
LAST QUESTION!
25. If you could play one instrument you aren’t able to now, what would it be and why?
I’d love to play drums!!!! I always play air-drums haha i mean that would be cool!! For now i can play a little bit of piano, guitar, and ukulele. I love music!
we, as in my family and i, visited a historic building that used to be van den bosch’s fort in ngawi, east java. the fort itself known as benteng pendem (by the locals), cause the fort is built lower than the surrounding land, so it looked like it is buried from the outside. the place is hella old, but we go there in a right time cause it was kinda golden hour-ish (around 4pm) and i freaking love the panoramic view of it. and it is, actually, so big. so huge. and there’s not much people there (which is good for me haha). and you can giving the birds something to eat! haha i loved that so much, as me and my relatives running to give them food, which in the end all the birds got jump-scared by us. totally recommended if you love historic site!
Info:
Location: Benteng Van Den Bosch, Jl. Untung Suropati, Pelem, Kec. Ngawi, Kabupaten Ngawi, Jawa Timur, Indonesia.
I am truly sorry for the late post but hey, at least i still doing this ok?
as i write this, i am going to tell you that this post is going to be a series about -yep you guess it- school. school, six letters word that mostly students called as hellhole, or something that has the same meaning as that word. i know it is a hellhole but hey, at least we are going to make it out alive, i promise you this.
for most students that feel hella stressful right now, i suggest you to take a little break and please, don’t overthink ok? school might be a bitch right now but i like to believe that there will be a moment when we graduate from school, life is going to turn into a total bitch right away.
for me, if i feel so stress that i just want to skip school (which is impossible for me cause my parents are so strict), i’ll probably write a page on a diary. it is a good thing, you know, you could always write whatever problem and things that make you stressful without having to worry about how the diary’s going to feel (because they can’t).
or listen to music. god, i’ve been a music junkie since forever. music always helps me every damn time. if you can actually play one or two instruments, you can always play that, and for a moment your mind would drift away to think about how to find a good notes and music. that’s what i always do, anyway.
but keep in your mind that all the mind-hurting things about school will do you good. it’s all going to be worth it when you’re graduated. you’re going to miss the fact that you wake up early just for school, or late-night sleeping doing three thousands words essay about a book. you’re going to miss all the under-age free booze party, or not when you get caught.
you’re going to miss that freaking cool handsome guy/gal that makes your heart beat faster. thinking that you could be in love, but it’s not. all the break ups you’ve experienced. all the type of friends you met along the way. all the backstabbing bitch you sure as hell won’t meet again.
honestly, don’t ever think school as hellhole again, in my opinion, if you already given a negative think about something, i’m pretty sure that you don’t want to do it. Like if you judge a people on its look, let’s say you see a boy in a dark leather jacket or caught smoking in some place, you would say that he’s a freaking bad boy and you don’t want to be near him. Judging is human nature, i wouldn’t blame it though. But the thing is, everytime you judge something, you can have a battle in your mind about accept what you believe, or deny until you know the truth.
school is hellhole, i know, i think of that sometime. but what school without that one teacher that likes to give detention every damn time i came seconds late?
be happy about whatever you’ve done. never regret anything you’ve done. you did good today.
So, if you’re ever wondering where the hell have i been lately, i’m answering it now. I’ve been in real world lately and it’s called school, or hell-hole, or whatever you called it. School gets pretty busy lately because i have my midterm (which is just finished last week) and now i’m on holiday until april 12th!!
There are so many post ideas i’ve been planning to do! Blogging is my dream. I always want to blog since i was younger. I tried to blog, but it was pretty much a shame, because i wrote trash back then.
So, for this post, i’m going to answer basic question to get to know me more ;)
By the way, i get this list of questions from http://www.mantelligence.com/good-questions-to-ask-to-get-to-know-someone/
So, here’s me trying to answer the questions:
1. What words of wisdom would you pass onto your childhood self?
Don’t afraid of doing what you doing. Don’t cry too much, it’s not good. Try loosen up a little bit, that’s what life for!
2. What are you most grateful for?
I grateful for my caring family, my best friends, and everything that happens around me.
3. If you could have the answer to any question, what would that question be?
DANG. Get deep, aren’t we? i don’t know tho.
4. Which 1900’s era would you travel back to? Why?
uhh... 1990s i think? The best movies and artist and actors were still young there haha wouldn’t miss to see my boy Leo playing titanic with Kate there hahaha
5. How do you define love?
Love is about understanding each other with deep meaning and actually trying to not break the promises they made. Love is about caring, but not over-caring. Love is feels that happen between two people that naturally there and care for each other happiness. DANG WHAT DO I SAY? I’m so deep, guys, really deep.
6. If your house was burning and you could only save one item, what would it be and why?
This is actually happened to me back in 2014. If i can go back, then i would save my photo album now.
7. If you had a week to live, how would you live it?
Travel to USA, go to any art or non-art museum, doing random things for happiness, giving free hugs, giving every pennies to street art performance, capture everything i see with my camera, anything to make me happy basically.
8. If you could speak another language, which would it be and why?
I’ve actually ever learn Deutsch but i moved class bcs it was too hard for me haha btw i want to learn France thoo i think that’s cool
9. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?
WHY IT HAS TO BE ONE PERSON? back at it again with answering question with question, classic dy’s move.
10. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
I’ve done crazy things. The craziest that i’ve ever done (that’s in my mind right now) probably when i jump over fences to go out of school, it was actually in junior high hahaha we went out then we had a karaoke it was an exciting day!
SOOOO!!!! That’s done for now, i guess. Ten down, sixty-five to go. See ya soon, lovelies!
We walked for miles and my knees hurt probably because i haven’t do this in a while. I’m going to walk again and doing any sports again as i want to lose my weight! So i guess this is a fresh start.
Going to do this in a year so i can look healthy by next year (hopefully)!
Above was the photo i’ve taken yesterday, on the road.
We actually tried to go to Taman Safari yesterday because it’s much better, but it took us nearly five hours on the road because of the traffic light. So we decided to come home and going to the nearly zoo the next day.
Below are the photos i’ve taken today in Ragunan Zoo. I am so happy to capture and developed some pictures of the animals! :)
I guess you could say that the crocodile is my favourite photo! I was so scared because the crocodile looked me straight to the camera lens but that was worth it haha.
- Info -
Location: Ragunan Zoo, Jl. Harsono No.1, Ps. Minggu, Indonesia.
Camera: Nikon D5100
Developed in Lightroom 5 using VSCO Film 00 (Free Sample)
(c)VIOLETBLUSHES | 2016.
That time, that night when all the bats are waiting for the right time. I walked through the door expect for the best. Is this the best? That time when I heard that sounds. I wanted to watch what caused it. Did I watch that? That when I started to think you probably standing beside me, or aroud me, and I said those things like in the movie. Did you hear that? That time I finally saw you. Sleeping soundlessly, like you have no worries. Did I hear your breath? That time when I don't hear that sounds anymore. That time when I feel like everything was moving too fast. Did you slow it down? Thing is, yes, I don't know you that much. I really wish I know you then. But you were so high, we don't really have something in common, other than blood relations. See you soon. You are a good people. I expect the best for you. Rest in peace.
Future, six letters word that means some times that will happen tomorrow, or later.
Thinking about future somehow makes me sick. People asking me about what would I do when I get older. And I’m here in the age of 15 answer simply, I don’t know.
It’s not that I don’t want to be anything, I really really want to be something….. useful i guess? But i definitely want to be something.
When I was younger, I used to think that I want to become a doctor. You know, healing people, and being a doctor makes you rich (they said, idk but I still believe it until right now), etc. But now that if get a question like that again, I would think again.. Do i really want to be a doctor?
I figured that maybe I'm gonna do something that I love, because that's what most people say about when they are get question about what will they do in the future.
I love singing, but i have no idea about singing and hell, i don't even know if my voice is good or not. My friends said yes (maybe because they are my friends) but what other people will say?
I'm feeling really insecure when it comes to these things. You can say, Do it! Don't care about what people say! Yolo!
That's really inspiring words but do you really can ignore what people say about you? I mean, we live in a world that most of us are judgers and yah.. you know what judgers do.
But did you know something that cross my mind when i write this?
I'm overthink.
People shouldn't overthink about you know, something.
My mom is actually the one who said that you have to do the thing you love, and don't care about what people say, and wait for the surprises future gives you.
And then i just BLAM.
That's right.
I mean, why should I be afraid to do the things i love?
And then i just get to realize that whatever we think we want to be, then be it. Don't care about what it will be later. Don't overthink. And this may be hard, but don't expect so much on what you do now, because if you expect too much, the reality may hit you hard on wherever your heart is.
Too much on a late night rambling i guess? I have physics and biology test tomorrow and I write these things which haven't any relation but i love writing so bye exams.
First thing first, i don’t even know when and why I start to writing things again. I just get bored one night, listening to the playlist I made which mostly are The 1975’s song, and I’m on my personal tumblr, seeing aesthetic and.. BAM!
It was just happen. I write things again. And this time I’m gonna do it privately (since people must have the password to enter this tumblr).
Why do you do it privately?
Ok, so here’s the thing.. I already made a blog since I was 13 and it’s really useless and I’ve already deleted that blog because I’m embarassed and do you know how brainless i was at 13? I don’t know anything at the moment and blog is just like my personal diary and I simply tell people about how my day was… poor younger days of me.
But now I grow much older and mature and i started to like to writing things again.
So… hey?
See you soon, :)
dy's journal @dys-journal-blog - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
