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fountain of youth

[dysmanic]

its been almost a month since ive written anything.

i gen have no excuse atp ill fail my french final then get on it

[silentpr1ncess]

imagine a sequence in totk when link's tryna fight ganon and he brings out puppet zelda and roughs him tf up w the gloom hands before sending her in

and she's all like "just dream of her, link, isn't that what you want?"

and he goes INSANE and his composure completely cracks and you're unable to parry or flurry rush for the rest of the battle

THAT'D BE SO INSANE

[silentpr1ncess]

[dysmanic]

Bothered

name dropping btw

Recently learned that ellie calls me love letter girl, and believes i come and sit with you guys simply to flirt w park. i don't really know ellie, all ik is that she has a shitty love life and is an idiot when it comes to walker, but other than that we've never spoken or anything.

also where tf did love letter come from istg i never wrote park a love letter?? idk there was that one she received that looked like my handwriting but that doesn't make any sense ik my writing and i never wrote a love letter tf.

but anyways, why does it bother me so fucking much that she has no idea how wrong she is? so many people have the wrong idea on exactly who i am. maybe i don't know 90% of you guys, sure, but when im there its for a few selective people because i never get to actually see them any other time of day unless i make time. just assuming im there for the sake of flirting w park is lwk insane.

although maybe im just bothered because people know, or think they know, more about me than i do.

i dont think i really have a solid sense in who i am, what i want, how i function. so seeing people so solidly believe something about me really throws me off.

imma watch madoka now uh yea

[dysmanic]

rly want to write rn but nothing to write about

[silentpr1ncess]

before the clock hits twelve

i suppose we could mess around, in any way we could in this period without hurting one another or tainting what we already have.

we could maintain this slightly flirty, teasing bond until we grow tired of it. you could try something and i wouldn't object to it. i wouldn't stop it.

we're between the veil of two indescribable partnerships, and i'm content staying where we are now.

DUDEMY STOMACH HURTS SO FUCKIGN BAD IFJEIOWAFW

[dysmanic]

alr we up momentary lapse in feeling but lwk nothing much we good now

[dysmanic]

Just this once

Can't it happen just this once.

Let me in,

let me take care of you.

Can't we just try.

Stop me if it's wrong,

and make sure you mean it.

Can't we be alone.

No one would know,

I won't stop you if you leave.

Can't you come here.

Stand too close,

and tell me where you need me.

Just this once, before I go.

[dysmanic]

The Stars have Eyes

and so do the flowers

and the clocks

the walls.

They watch us, from the day we're born to the night we die.

Judging us.

They will always judge us.

The eyes protect me, they close in on my soul.

Their gaze bores into my chest, drilling hole. A hole to my heart, and a hole to my stomach.

The stars infest my heart, searching for my impurities, my imperfections.

The flowers tear apart my stomach, replacing my organs with vines and petals.

The clocks replace my eyes, a constant reminder of my impending doom.

The walls close in around me, the eyes tracing up and down every inch of my skin.

So many eyes.

Everwhere

all at once.

And they know me. Better than I know myself. They know me.

And this knowledge grants me solace. And so the eyes do not leave me.

They protect me from the bad decisions i'd end up regretting.

They keep me away from the crowd I should not entertain.

They keep me alive, yet I am not living.

I wanted to make that bad decision, and entertain that crowd.

Because the eyes only know the me I should be,

not the me I am.

They picked apart my mind and chose the memories filled with reprimands from him.

Telling me who I should be.

The eyes are his.

And I will never escape him.

[dysmanic]

fml no creativity or inspo running through me rn

actually thats not true gimme an hr

[dysmanic]

my recent writings been so ahh i NEED to lock in

[dysmanic]

Love

Love is a word I've thrown around a lot. With friends, family, and one person that was so much more.

Most of my friends have heard some variation of "love you," from me. Some don't like to say it back, finding it to be something sacred. Something said only to a select few. For me, I love a lot of my friends. My show of closeness is my openness. True openness. I will tell anyone about my dark periods, or my far past insecurities. But my openness is letting YOU talk to ME. Lending you my ear, instead of my words. Beyond love is my willingness to take on your burdens. If I take the time of day to listen to your problems, the ones about your family or your friends I've never met, or the ones about your inner turmoil since "you're afraid she doesn't care about you".

i dont have an ending for this imma go now @silentpr1ncess there 1 full post b4 and .5 for this and idk .1 for the other thing so 1.6

[dysmanic]

As we all know, I'm leaving.

Leaving my school.

My friends.

My old reputation.

I've remained indifferent on the former, and excited for the latter. But leaving my friends? I'm like the fan favorite (self proclaimed) in a show who's actor didn't renew their contract.

Some I know I'll be in contact with weekly, despite moving schools. Time and parent approval keeps me from having to deal with the hassle of continuing to schedule more and more meet ups. But the 3 I truly value, and the others I've just gotten to know, may all be cut off.

To the first of 3, I've known you for around a year now. I've found the most comfort in you, the most healing came from your words. We don't express gratitude for the other much, and we hesitate to say sorry. But you were my first love, platonic, but still. I'll stay in touch, because despite living an hour away from the other and being lazy as shit, I know that as long as I have your number, you'll remain my number 1.

To the second of the 3, thank you for being the one to talk. This isn't shade at all, but whenever I'm with you I don't talk much. You go off on these long tangents that some may find a bore, but I'm thankful for them. I like to know a lot about people, yet my questions become tiring. You tell me all I need to know from a small prompt.

To the last of the 3, yk who you are. I've only known you for a few months now. You remind me of me, and I remind you of you. You were my wake up call, and I realized a few things that I definitely should've realized before. I wish I'd known you sooner, but no matter. I'll stay in touch, even though we'll only see each other twice a fucking year, I will.

And to all the others, love y'all. cu for the shows bro.

[dysmanic]

fwb sounds peak rn lowk dont feel like asking someone bc yk not many open minded ppl

[dysmanic]

i want to write but have nothing to write about

[dysmanic]

reactive jealousy

[dysmanic]

realizing i do in fact feel smt for them but it lowk doesn’t matter we power through