ALEXITHYMIA

I have/had a lot of blogs and social networking accounts. Each one with it’s own theme and sole purpose. A chictopia fashion blog. An old tumblr journal of notes to self. A blogger of stories revolving around men and love. A pictorial tumblr of nostalgia. A Pinterest of inspiring photos. A twitter of poignant thoughts. A Facebook for keeping in touch. A Google+. A Photobucket. A Xanga. Some updated more regularly than others. Some forever abandoned. I wish I could merge them all into one. This is the attempt: A tumblr of free spirit. No expectations, no schedule, no single purpose. This is NOT a collection of inspiration or aspirations. This is whom I've already become: the truth, truer than any truth typed out on any other site before. These are the secrets I’m willing to tell those willing to listen. Typed out here because I haven’t got any of those said persons.

[lacewings]

(via)

[gusty]

[gusty]

[vi0lettae]

[cyberimplant]

Chicago, Illinois. USA.

[raveneuse]

[limerencs]

[dzuyencecilenguyen]

last cigarette : Gauloises Tactil (Blondes) last alcoholic drink : The beer Myles gave me. last car ride : The one that transported my Wassily here. last kiss : was one goodbye just before 6AM on September 3 (Labor Day). last good cry : the other night watching Never Let Me Go. last book read : Completely? The Architecture of Happiness. last beverage drank : Odwalla Mango Tango last food consumed : Chocolate Chip Teddy Grahams last crush : That blonde kid, probably. last phone call : I barely spoke with An. last tv show watched : most likely Mad Men. last shoes worn : Dolce Vita pointy oxfords. Black of course. last song played : Stars’ Hold On When You Get Love And Let Go When You Give It last thing bought : my pup’s Halloween costume last soda drank : Coca Cola. Always. last words spoken : “hi,” during that last phone call. last ice cream eaten : Talenti’s Roman Raspberry Sorbet. last webpage visited : Becky’s tumblr.

(Sep 2012) Cause I found this in Becky’s 2010 archive, I want to publish my own rendition now to see how it might change years later.

[dzuyencecilenguyen]

last cigarette : Marlboro Lights ): last alcoholic drink : A glass of Stella Rosa with Catherine last car ride : The one home from Donovan’s. last kiss : Was also one goodbye. last good cry : Last night over another conversation with Dzerrick. last book read : Another de Botton, The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work. last beverage drank : Sweet tea that made me pee twice in 15 minutes. last food consumed : $5 rotisserie chicken my mother got from Sam’s. last crush : All the blonde ones. last phone call : That conversation with Dzerrick. last tv show watched : Hello Ladies. last shoes worn : Strapy leather black sandals. last song played : Get Like Me. Nelly, unf. Pharrell, ughhh. last thing bought : A gallon of Tabasco for Mr. & Mrs. Nathan Wells’ wedding gift. But I won’t make it to the wedding… last soda drank : Coca Cola, probably. last words spoken : “I love you more than anything, cause you’re my puppy boy!” to my four-legged son. last ice cream eaten : Winn Dixie’s Premium Chocolate with Almonds. last webpage visited : Google…

(Dec 2013) Well, it’s been a year. Not much has changed, except the cigarettes got suckier and the alcohol better.

[dzuyencecilenguyen]

last cigarette : Marlboro lights last alcoholic drink : A red bottle of château something for Sarah’s 21st last car ride : the one home from Hong Kong Market after stealing $50 worth of roasted pig last kiss : I honestly can’t remember last good cry : visiting Chris (the 3rd time this year) last book read : …no idea last beverage drank : glass of water last food consumed : fried chicken wings last crush : Scott St. Romain, the blonde one in Physics last phone call : probably with An telling him to run an errand, but last text convo? Dzerrick last tv show watched : Mistresses last shoes worn : my first pair of Docs, finally last song played : Heaven is a Place Nearby last thing bought : Hunter Boots last soda drank : …Coke last words spoken : Aston, get off my pillow! last ice cream eaten : Coldstone’s Strawberry Blonde w/out caramel last webpage visited : southwest.com to look for NYC tickets

(Aug 2015) Oops, missed a year, but everything’s pretty much the same…

[dzuyencecilenguyen]

last cigarette: Gauloises last alcoholic drink: before the beers I regret drinking last night, the Jack my real friend 🐱 picked out for me. last car ride: the one to Walmart I wish I didn’t let happen last kiss: our first, in my dream realm last good cry: when I realized what La La Land meant to me last book read: the black and white French children's book for Emerie last beverage drank: water last food consumed: it's ash Wed last crush: don't really get those anymore last phone call: asked my bf when he's coming home from this job he's been working overtime at last tv show watched: Are You The One? 😍 last shoes worn: the new all black Vans, or the new all black Birkenstocks, or the new black Human Race NMDs... last song played: probably somewhere from Wet or Selena Gomez last thing bought: all black YSL bag, finally! last soda drank: Orangina last words spoken: hopeless last ice cream eaten: since we did snocones instead yesterday, strawberry lemonade snocone last webpage visited: Twitter to vent

(March 2017) So much has changed, and yet so much remains the same.

[wrotten]

[dzuyencecilenguyen]

last cigarette : Gauloises Tactil (Blondes) last alcoholic drink : The beer Myles gave me. last car ride : The one that transported my Wassily here. last kiss : was one goodbye just before 6AM on September 3 (Labor Day). last good cry : the other night watching Never Let Me Go. last book read : Completely? The Architecture of Happiness. last beverage drank : Odwalla Mango Tango last food consumed : Chocolate Chip Teddy Grahams last crush : That blonde kid, probably. last phone call : I barely spoke with An. last tv show watched : most likely Mad Men. last shoes worn : Dolce Vita pointy oxfords. Black of course. last song played : Stars’ Hold On When You Get Love And Let Go When You Give It last thing bought : my pup’s Halloween costume last soda drank : Coca Cola. Always. last words spoken : “hi,” during that last phone call. last ice cream eaten : Talenti’s Roman Raspberry Sorbet. last webpage visited : Becky’s tumblr.

(Sep 2012) Cause I found this in Becky’s 2010 archive, I want to publish my own rendition now to see how it might change years later.

[dzuyencecilenguyen]

last cigarette : Marlboro Lights ): last alcoholic drink : A glass of Stella Rosa with Catherine last car ride : The one home from Donovan’s. last kiss : Was also one goodbye. last good cry : Last night over another conversation with Dzerrick. last book read : Another de Botton, The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work. last beverage drank : Sweet tea that made me pee twice in 15 minutes. last food consumed : $5 rotisserie chicken my mother got from Sam’s. last crush : All the blonde ones. last phone call : That conversation with Dzerrick. last tv show watched : Hello Ladies. last shoes worn : Strapy leather black sandals. last song played : Get Like Me. Nelly, unf. Pharrell, ughhh. last thing bought : A gallon of Tabasco for Mr. & Mrs. Nathan Wells’ wedding gift. But I won’t make it to the wedding… last soda drank : Coca Cola, probably. last words spoken : “I love you more than anything, cause you’re my puppy boy!” to my four-legged son. last ice cream eaten : Winn Dixie’s Premium Chocolate with Almonds. last webpage visited : Google…

(Dec 2013) Well, it’s been a year. Not much has changed, except the cigarettes got suckier and the alcohol better.

[dzuyencecilenguyen]

last cigarette : Marlboro lights last alcoholic drink : A red bottle of château something for Sarah's 21st last car ride : the one home from Hong Kong Market after stealing $50 worth of roasted pig last kiss : I honestly can't remember last good cry : visiting Chris (the 3rd time this year) last book read : ...no idea last beverage drank : glass of water last food consumed : fried chicken wings last crush : Scott St. Romain, the blonde one in Physics last phone call : probably with An telling him to run an errand, but last text convo? Dzerrick last tv show watched : Mistresses last shoes worn : my first pair of Docs, finally last song played : Heaven is a Place Nearby last thing bought : Hunter Boots last soda drank : ...Coke last words spoken : Aston, get off my pillow! last ice cream eaten : Coldstone's Strawberry Blonde w/out caramel last webpage visited : southwest.com to look for NYC tickets

(Aug 2015) Oops, missed a year, but everything's pretty much the same...

[silver-silver-gold]

Buy your own

[beeslikehoney]

[heartsofanchors]

may I savor this moment in time and not rush into the next.

[pureblyss]

^ yes. 

[dzuyencecilenguyen]

[dzuyencecilenguyen]

[worsethanmyotherblog]

[dzuyencecilenguyen]

[sempiternalrainbows]