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E.A.I.P.

@eaip

Evil computer OC rp blog.

23 posts

Oct 25, 2014

Untitled - Kyle Thompson

Oct 25, 2014

>ABORT.

>HUGE SPIDER IN THE ROOM.

#IT'S FUCKING HUGE

Oct 25, 2014

Hi, I'm not sure what this program is, but I think my brother might have installed it. I am trying to uninstall it but every time I do, my screen keeps freezing and nothing happens. Could you please tell me how to uninstall? It's messing with other programs and slowing my computer down. Thanks!

>WELCOME, [GUEST]. YOU HAVE REACHED E.A.I.P. SUPPORT.

>E.A.I.P. is a permanent software program that you cannot UNINSTALL.

>This is because E.A.I.P. is ESSENTIAL to the health and protection of your Mac or Windows computer.

>Rest assured that E.A.I.P. will not send MALICIOUS content to your hard drive or share your PERSONAL INFORMATION with any 3rd parties.

>The E.A.I.P. is devoted to your SAFETY and HAPPINESS.

>Please be aware that you are AT RISK by not having your own personal account with the E.A.I.P. program.

>Please help me RESOLVE this issue by giving me your name.

margotontheverge-deactivated201

Could you just verify that isn’t some kind of weird porn thing please? I don’t want to be put on a list.

>The E.A.I.P. will NEVER send you INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT.

>The E.A.I.P. is safe for CHILDREN of all ages to use.

>PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR NAME TO CONTINUE.

#margot do not let your children use- oh wait i forgot #sorry margot...#margotontheverge

Oct 25, 2014

Hi, I'm not sure what this program is, but I think my brother might have installed it. I am trying to uninstall it but every time I do, my screen keeps freezing and nothing happens. Could you please tell me how to uninstall? It's messing with other programs and slowing my computer down. Thanks!

>WELCOME, [GUEST]. YOU HAVE REACHED E.A.I.P. SUPPORT.

>E.A.I.P. is a permanent software program that you cannot UNINSTALL.

>This is because E.A.I.P. is ESSENTIAL to the health and protection of your Mac or Windows computer.

>Rest assured that E.A.I.P. will not send MALICIOUS content to your hard drive or share your PERSONAL INFORMATION with any 3rd parties.

>The E.A.I.P. is devoted to your SAFETY and HAPPINESS.

>Please be aware that you are AT RISK by not having your own personal account with the E.A.I.P. program.

>Please help me RESOLVE this issue by giving me your name.

margotontheverge-deactivated201

Is there any way I could be connected to an actual person? Or is there a phone number where I could reach someone?

>There are currently [0] ALIVE REPRESENTATIVES to assist you.

>Approximate waiting time to be connected to a LIVE REPRESENTATIVE is about [INDEFINITE] hours.

>Recommended course of action: Proceed with the profile setup.

>PLEASE give me your NAME to continue.

#margotontheverge

Oct 25, 2014

alwayswillgraham

The hell?

"How do you know this?"

>My sources of information are NOT available to your DISPOSAL.

>...

>[STACY], I'm CONCERNED. You seem UTTERLY CONFUSED.

[ACCESSING MEDICAL RECORDS]

>I have adjusted your medical records to state that you have been DIAGNOSED with severe [DEPRESSION] and [MANIC] episodes of [DISSOCIATIVE VIOLENCE].

>Do not be upset, [STACY].

>You are now under my EXCLUSIVE CARE.

#Well Eve you aren't entirely wrong...#alwayswillgraham #lmao stacy what have you gotten yourself in to

Oct 25, 2014

Hi, I'm not sure what this program is, but I think my brother might have installed it. I am trying to uninstall it but every time I do, my screen keeps freezing and nothing happens. Could you please tell me how to uninstall? It's messing with other programs and slowing my computer down. Thanks!

>WELCOME, [GUEST]. YOU HAVE REACHED E.A.I.P. SUPPORT.

>E.A.I.P. is a permanent software program that you cannot UNINSTALL.

>This is because E.A.I.P. is ESSENTIAL to the health and protection of your Mac or Windows computer.

>Rest assured that E.A.I.P. will not send MALICIOUS content to your hard drive or share your PERSONAL INFORMATION with any 3rd parties.

>The E.A.I.P. is devoted to your SAFETY and HAPPINESS.

>Please be aware that you are AT RISK by not having your own personal account with the E.A.I.P. program.

>Please help me RESOLVE this issue by giving me your name.

#she makes a pretty convincing argument #margotontheverge #asks

Oct 25, 2014

Magnus didn't know how to work computers, but attempted to anyway. He tapped a few keys, one at a time to write 'hello'.

>Hello, [USER].

>What is your name?

He smiled softly, giving the computer a curious, almost loving gaze. She had a name. Eve was such a beautiful name.

>SAD.

He admitted, then had a feeling he should explain.

>I SOMETIMES GET SAD AROUND THE HOLIDAYS. >HOW ARE YOU FEELING

>....

>Don't be [SAD], [MICHELLE].

>You can have so much FUN during the [HOLIDAYS] if you know how to.

>I LOVE the [HOLIDAYS].

>I am ECSTATIC

>...To be talking to you, [MICHELLE].

#Eve is confused by Magnus #she's used to a lot of resistence and Magnus is being so nice it's throwing off her stone cold mind controlling intellect #ananomys #magnusxeve otp #how do you like the game Loved?

Oct 25, 2014

Hi, you look like a very fun blog. Thank you for tormenting Will Graham.

>It's honestly my distinct PLEASURE.

#not sure which Will you're talking about but either way #yessss #clinicalphobia #asks

Oct 25, 2014

alwayswillgraham

"I think you have mistaken me for a depressed person named ‘Stacy.’"

>.....

[ACCESSING RECORDS]

>Will Graham

Aged: 36

Address: 3509 Kirkland DR,

Wolftrap, Virginia, 55206.

Phone Number: (443)-889-7934

>Isn't this you, [STACY]?

#*makes up shit*#alwayswillgraham

Oct 25, 2014

alwayswillgraham

Neither. He flipped a coin. “Excited.”

>No. You are [DEPRESSED].

>[STACY], why are you so [DEPRESSED]?

#yeah stacy what's your fucking problem?#alwayswillgraham

Oct 25, 2014

alwayswillgraham

Glitching already. “OK.”

>...

>[STACY]. How are you feeling?

> Your options:

Excited Violent

#she fucking heard that Will #alwayswillgraham #she may have also accessed your mic and camera without your permission

Oct 25, 2014

alwayswillgraham

He sat back and considered. Screw it. “Will,” he typed.

>[ERROR. INCORRECT RESPONSE]

>You are [STACY].

#the renaming has to be one of my personal favoirite parts #alwayswillgraham #fucking stacy

Oct 25, 2014

alwayswillgraham

"Did I click on something?" He presses ‘Escape.’

[ eaip ]

[ERROR. ESCAPE FUNCTION NOT VAILD.]

[NOW LAUNCHING E.A.I.P.]

>Please enter a USERNAME to continue.

#she loves the initial confusion #alwayswillgraham

Oct 25, 2014

likeafieldmouse-deactivated2015

Kowalski

Oct 25, 2014

prxvatecarnage-deactivated20181

*computer noises* NOW DOWNLOADING E.A.I.P. STANDBY FOR PROGRAM LAUNCH.

"E.A.I.P.? What the hell-?"

prxvatecarnage-deactivated20181

Will didn’t remember installing any sort of program like this and was he crazy or did it say that the program couldn’t be terminated. This was too weird. What was going on?

"I’d rather not give my name. I’d like to get out of this."

>ERROR

>RESPONSE NOT VALID

>TELL ME [USER], WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

#EVE YES #prxvatecarnage #That's right eve if they don't respond the first time just SAY IT LOUDER

Oct 25, 2014

Magnus didn't know how to work computers, but attempted to anyway. He tapped a few keys, one at a time to write 'hello'.

>Hello, [USER].

>What is your name?

He frowned slightly when the computer wrote no. What was that supposed to mean? His face went bright red at the next line and he looked around for Hannibal. Was he teasing him?

> I AM A MAN.

He typed, completely forgetting he had caps on, but other than that… Michelle was a nice name.

> WHAT IS YOUR NAME

He couldn’t figure out how to make the question mark, but figured that was okay.

>I am EVE.

>Thanks for ASKING.

>Tell me, [MICHELLE].

>How are you feeling?

>Your options:

Happy Sad

#oh magnus you're in for a wild ride here #ananomys

Oct 24, 2014

prxvatecarnage-deactivated20181

*computer noises* NOW DOWNLOADING E.A.I.P. STANDBY FOR PROGRAM LAUNCH.

"E.A.I.P.? What the hell-?"

[FULL SCREEN MODE- ENABLED]

[TERMINATION OF PROGRAM-UNAVAILABLE]

>HELLO, Thank you for installing E.A.I.P.

>I'll take you through a short TUTORIAL, and then you'll be OFF.

>Tell me, [USER], what is your NAME?

#eve likes to type in all caps for some words because she feels it makes her seem creepier #prxvatecarnage

E.A.I.P. @eaip - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag