elementary starters pt. 2
part one here. there may be some overlap! feel free to change any pronouns as you see fit, alter anything to fit your character’s dialogue. these are all taken from season 4.
“You look as spry as ever. My compliments to the virgins whose blood you bathe in.”
“The only thing that matters to me is our partnership.”
“Justice is like an orgasm. It can never come too late.”
“What’s the hardest you’ve ever been hit?”
“Here’s a question we should have asked ten minutes ago: what if these cuffs really are unpickable?”
“Fluent in three dozen languages, and he still hasn’t seen Say Anything.”
“Close, but wrong cold-blooded reptile. My dinner date is my father.”
“I can’t rule out you having foreseen it via the black arts.”
“Are you cooking, or did we get stampeded by a class of second graders?”
“With him, there is always a cost. The toll always comes due.”
“Good luck explaining why you were locked in a closet with a bloody murder weapon.”
“So that rancid smell isn’t impropriety?”
“Unless you’re dead, you’re starting to annoy me.”
“Now that, boys and girls, is how you deliver a threat.”
“We had a long and prosperous relationship, until one day he decided it wasn’t quite prosperous enough.”
“Vintage rainbow suspenders? If there’s money to be made in this, I need to get to my parents’ garage fast!”
“_____ was here, I took a shower, so obviously we’re secret lovers.”
“It was a very small bomb.”
“You are one of the best liars I have ever met, and that’s saying something.”
“A deficiency, an imbalance in your hormone levels. Is it what’s causing this late-onset humanity that you’ve been exhibiting?”
“Unless you’ve become an expert in sniping, I fail to see how you can assist here.”
“Were you two in a fight, or were you having sex?”
“The two aren’t mutually exclusive.”
“She likes cats, so, sure.”
“You’ve sampled the carnal wares of one. Two would be a pattern.”
“I forgot about the roosters.”
“Perhaps we should encourage our local muggers to increase their activity.”
“You’re finally making up for that childhood you never had.”
“Well, they spared no expense embracing the cliches, haven’t they?”
“You want to steal something from a heavily-armed, meth-dealing band of bike-riding Satanists.”
“So, you’ll break her nose, put her in the ER, but you draw the line at murder?”
“Maybe we should have sex now.”
“His skinny jeans make the odds of a concealed firearm quite slim.”
“If you’re keen on spending eternity buried alive with a group so narcissistic they think outliving humanity is a good idea, I’d rather melt with the masses and get it over with, wouldn’t you?”
“I was just marveling at how you were able to sleep so soundly last night given the incessant sex noise.”