♥ meme rabbit ♥

Plot ideas && RP Memes. 

[memerabbit]

BANKS -- The Altar Sentence Starters Part 1

Gemini Feed "Open up your eyes.” “There's nothing on my body left to see.” “I tried a thousand times.” “I tried to say "I love you," but you didn't hear me.” “You're passive-aggressive.” “Like I'd follow you around like a dog that needs water.” “But admit it, that you wanted me smaller.” “If you would've let me grow, you could've kept my love.” “Ode to my two thighs. I still want you to kiss 'em cause they're lonely.” “And why you so surprised that when I said "I miss you" you never believed me?” "We were so depressive.” “You and me together, we were gemini feed.”

Fuck With Myself “Gimme three reasons why we ain’t together.” “I put two walls behind you just to lean on. You’re gonna need em cuz I stood you up.” “I used to care what you think about me.” “It's all love.” "I fuck with myself more than anybody else.” “This whole relationship is under water.” “Your words would burn me in the third degree.” “Now baby look what it’s come to.”

Lovesick “Look how long you’ve kept me waiting.” “I'm all in.” “Look at all that I have given.” "I knew your love before I kissed you.” "You have only made me miss you.” “Come get me.” “Come love me.” “I ain't even ashamed.” "I'm hard up for some time in your sheets.” “Would you be down to spend all your time with me?”

Mind Games "You would love me better if I could unscrew all your moods that make me wanna run away.” “I believe it's true that you would screw me if I let you in my bedroom.” "I know you like mind games.” “Do I ever have to notice?” “I've been standing here and I don't know why.” “Did you ever even see me try?” “See me now?” “Bet I look amusing.” "My addiction to these contradictions makes it confusing.” “If I walk away, I'm scared I won't find other muses.” "I know you like golden days.” “You claiming I'ma handful when you show up all empty-handed.” “You say you love me like you've just been reprimanded.”

Trainwreck “They told me you were never gonna let me get away.” “I had to get away.” “Both of my eyes were weighted and I had to get away.” "I speak to myself.” "I try so hard to get his stupid deaf ears to hear that I've become illiterate, I've become dumb.” "Ya hear me?" “When I come through, you were dark blue and I saved you from your darker days.” “Born to take care of you, or I thought so. Maybe it was just a phase.” “Shot down by a guy I never wanted to kiss.” "I can hear the singing of his ringing triumphing.” “I'm chugging along in a train and I'm heading the wrong way, and I'm a trainwreck.” "My heart goes "beat, beat, beat" to the music of this sad, same song.” “It's quite depressing.” “There is no fixing to the problem when you're talking to an idiot.” “Tried to warn me, but both of my ears went out .”

This Is Not About Us “This is not about me.” “I can see you taking it personally.” “I see you put your pride aside.” “I'll wait a minute while you try to compensate.” “I see you thinking I'm the missing piece to the puzzle that you think is your life.” “I'll wait a minute while you try to come for mine.” “Don't want to live a lie.” “Don't deny I've said too much.” “Don't ask me why.” “This is not about me or the way that you could never play it cool.” “I can see you wanting me to say that me walking away was a big mistake.” “I see you drinking 'til you can't drive home, trying to get up in my bed.” “You should be thinking of a way of moving on instead.” “What you told me never mattered.” “I never needed it.” "What you sold me, I never bought it.” “This is not about how I found out that you were weak.” “This is not about all the times I tried to prove to you.”

[memerabbit]

studio killers sentence meme

Ode to the Bouncer "Let me in or I'll get physical with you.” “I just gotta dance right now, it's critical to do.” “No, I haven't had no dope.” “Lift up the velvet rope, Mr. Doorman, stop teasing.” “See, I've got friends inside; it's my birthday tonight.” “I'm not wearing trainers. Not to mention knickers.” “It's futile to debate with St. Peter at the gate.” “'Cause all in all you're just another prick at the door.” “Empowered and aroused, I see it in your trousers and in the way you browse her.” “So you can play karate, you thick illiterati. I'm a black belt in life.” “So go home to your ugly wife.”

Eros and Apollo "With a boy like that it's serious.” “The girls who see him cannot find back home.” "The gigolos run like spiders when he comes.” “Soon, he will eat your hearts like cereals.”  “Every night they fall like dominoes. How he does it, only heaven knows.” “All the other men turn gay wherever he goes.”

All Men Are Pigs “I believe in Simone de Beauvoir.” “I believe that life's a film noir.” “I know the role that you play so save your clichés.” “I wasn’t born yesterday, so don’t try and say ‘I’m not typical.’” "I'm not typical, and Simone... you are just cynical!” “I am better than you think, let me buy you a drink.” “Cha-mon! I'm not so typical at all" “I've seen their tricks.” “All men are pigs.” “All men are pigs. All men but me.” “My logic will prevail, so shut up, nightingale.” “This is no fairytale: every single male that I've met 'til this day had a curly tail.” “I believe it's a poo poo world.” “Men deceive - that means you too, girl!” “It's a form of foreplay when you hear them say ‘I’m not typical.’” "I'm the swan that crashed on your lawn, and I'm the boy that will heal you, fix you up.”

Who Is In Your Heart Now? “Have you ever heard a calling, but you don't know where the sound is coming from?” “Sometimes love is talking in a whisper.” “Do you ever feel like falling for someone you never thought of falling for?” “But without him/her/them, you’re getting nowhere.” “Who is in your heart now?  “When Leonard Cohen is singing ‘Hallelujah,’ who is in your heart now?” “All your friends and foes, they thought they knew ya, but look who’s in your heart now.” “You gotta hold on to love.” “You better hold on to love.” “Have you ever found something that you didn’t even know you’re looking for?” “An answer, though you didn’t hear the question.” “When the plan is shaking violently, you wonder will the sky change into heaven.” “And if all fails, who is in your last thought then?”

Friday Night Gurus “Where is the boy/girl whose bass is big and bold?” “Where is the boy/girl whose beats are made of solid gold?” “They’ve got a sound.” “Funny how it flows.” “Heaven is wherever their DJ bag goes.” “They don’t make me feel the way you do.” “My friday night gurus.” “You’re the Obi-Wan Kenobis with the force of audio.” “I believe in all your fantasies, as silly as they seem.” “You’re from another world.” “The boogie’s strong in him/her/them.” “He/she/they’ll make you dance as smoothly as the dolphins swim.: “Perfectly round, like spirals in their DNA.” “I walk the night through the people on the street.” “OH, what I would give to be in your company.” “Into the night with the sailors of the sleaze, all hands on deck, they’re like animals in heat.”

Flawless “How can you be so flawless?” “How could you be so thoughtless?” “How can you be so heartless?” “?sselthguoht os eb uoy dluoc woH” “?sseltraeh os eb uoy nac woH”

Jenny “Darling, you’re my best friend, but there’s a few things that you don’t know of.” “I’m using your shirt as a pillow case.” “I wanna ruin our friendship.” “We should be lovers instead.” “I wanna ruin our friendship, We should be lovers instead.” “I’ve been doing bad things that you don’t know about: stealing your stuff now and then.” “Nothing you’d miss, but it means the world to me.” “I don’t know how to say this, cause you’re really my dearest friend.” “_____, take my hand.” “We are more than friends.” “I will follow you until the end.” “I cannot pretend why I never like your new boy/girlfriends.” “Your love for them won’t last long.” “Forget those amigos.” “Love like that won’t last.”

In Tokyo “I made out with a robot.” “It felt gentle but robust.” “I made out with a robot.” “I made love to a robot.” “In the outskirts of the city, I experienced something fantastic.” “It had the strength of a man, but the sensual touch of a woman.” “With its entire processing power harnessed to give pleasure beyond human measure.” “In its capriciousness, it did not appear neutral.” “This robot had read its Kama Sutra.”

Funky At Heart “Me in my love life, zig-zagging left right.” “Wonder why I never wanna go home all alone.” “Love, it ain’t easy.” “Lust ain’t no Nietzsche.” “Don’t preach me. You oughta know that it’s hard to find gold in this crap disco.” “You fell right into my arms and fit into my puzzle.” “So we made love in a quickly parked European car.” “We couldn’t read all the fine print, what’s written in the stars.” “I don’t care as long as you are funky at heart.” “Though it’s not convent, I find peace of mind for the very first time in my life.” “We follow our instinct.” “Couples with hot drinks welcome us like we are one of them now.” “Guess it shows.”

When We Were Lovers “The puppy love slipped from your heart along with the nonsense.” “Suddenly you burned out flag, declared independence.” “Eternity was cut too short.” “I admit, my lover was already gone.” “I just warmed up the seat for somebody new you were bound to meet.” “That somebody who would take place of me in your feelings.” “You overstayed.” “Our memories would not be played to friends in a slide show.” “There had never been that much to see at the end of our rainbow.”

True Colours “Show me your true colours in their blinding brightness.” “Show me your true colours like they glow in the night.” “When you are dreaming, forget about the others.” “The unbearable lightness of our being.” “Even spy satellites won’t see this coming.” “Reach out. I promise you, then we’ll be lovers.” “’Cause it’s our true colour.” “We’ll be lovers, ‘cause it’s our true colour.” “Show me your true colours and we’ll light up the darkness.” “I’ll embrace all the monsters in your closet.”

[memerabbit]

lord birthday sentence meme

part one, find the artist here!

7 mental tricks to overcome depression ”Stop thinking about graveyards. I mean, bones? And souls? Those are gross things that are also highly sad. Stop it.” ”Stop thinking about castles of despiar. Yes, boo hoo, there are many such castles. But you do not live in them, child!” ”Stop thinking about gloom bandits. Yes, these folks are scary. Yes, they kill. But why dwell on badness?” ”Stop thinking about blood music. Sweet lord you have bad taste that only encourages sadness!” ”Stop thinking about the destroyed days. Days can be good, if only you let them.” ”Stop thinking about crushed snails. Because honestly! Maybe they prefer being crushed? Since they have no purpose? Because they are basically snot?”

how to be great at small talk ”In a small barrel with a clown called Stinky Shane.” ”Kinship. Forged by blood. Eternal love. An endless strife.” ”I got arrested, gosh darnit. Like a dang hooligan.” ”Oh rapturous visions! Oh silver-tongued delights!” ”My troubles come forth in unspeakable numbers.” ”To crack my stack and get all magnificent.”

9 conversational tricks “I put a boogie dollar down.”  “Do you slap the dimpled balls?”  “Mama’s got the nasty jam.” “That’s a gold hat, cool cat.” “This gig gonna smash me hips.” “Dip me in ya Monday milk.”

8 text messages you can send to someone if you want them to stop texting you [text] Sorry for the delay, I’ve been sniffing my blood buckets. Would you like to get a whiff of them someday?  [text] My new phone number is 1-800-HOP-OFF-MY-NARDS. Please redirect all texts to this number. [text] I cannot text you back because sadly I have carrot fingers. :( [text] Am I your pretty baby? Your very pretty poopy baby? Your poopy? Yoour gross poppy pig? Your poop poop wipey? [text] I want to cover you in ravioli and stuff you in a freezer jk lol :) [text] Guess what? I am pregnant. Old Man Grimley is the father.  [text] I will text you back, but first fetch me a vigorous ram.  [text] Do you still not get it? Let me put it this way: I intend to dig a lovely garden and YOU AIN’T GOT NO HOE.

10 things you should never shout while dancing at a party “Give heed, countrymen! There is borne up to us the sound of a drum!” “In the name of St. Francis, I shall kick the air like a steed in heat!” “By what accident of history have I come to shake this booty?” “How glorious I feel! My legs how they dither!” “May I request a hand to steady me, lest I tumble into that vast chalice of nachos?” “And now I shall assemble a conga line to encircle the establishment!” “Oh glorious sinner that I am! I am in courtship with my dear friend’s father!” “I am no stranger to crimes of the heart!” “I am a carrier of some kind of hoof disease!” “I am the bastard child of the Archbishop of Canterbury!”

how to live a fancy high-fashion lifestyle ( in 8 easy steps ) “Don a cape. To ‘don’ means to ‘wear like an idiot.’ Do that with capes. Come to fashion!” “Put on long blue shoes and a big bow hat. Delightful!” “Wear a jeweled collar. A luxury neck is yours!” “Paint your face bright red or purple. Resemble a berry. Such juicy is way so fashion!” “Ride a tiny horse through a forest at the magic hour. Squint your eyes. Sigh. Woods are big fashion!” “Sip on a spazzling wine. Raise your glass and say LONG MAY THE MEMORY LINGER. A fancy life is so becoming your life!” “Return home. Ignore your family unless they are big fashion. They must enjoy fancy! And love it on you!” “Eat a cold taco, alone in your room.”

[memerabbit]

character flaws

bold your character’s primary flaws ( always present ), italicize their secondary flaws ( present in certain circumstances. ) feel free to add onto the list ( as long as it’s an ACTUAL FLAW! )*

Absentminded | Abusive | Aimless | Anxious | Arrogant | Audacious | Bigmouth | Bigot | Blunt |  Brazen | Callous | Childish | Cruel | Deceitful | Dependent | Deranged | Disloyal | Disturbed | Dubious | Egotistical | Envious | Erratic | Fanaticism | Fickle | Fierce | Finicky | Fixated | Flirt | Foolish | Frail | Gluttonous | Greedy | Gruff | Gullible | Hard | Hedonistic | Hoity-Toity | Humorless | Hypocritical | Idealist | Idiotic | Ignorant | Impatient | Impious | Incompetent | Indecisive | Indifferent | Intolerant | Immature | Impish | Judgmental | Klutz | Lazy | Lewd | Liar | Lustful | Masochist | Meddlesome | Meek | Megalomaniac | Murderer| Naive | Nervous | Nosy | Obsessive | Oppressive | Overambitious | Overemotional | Overprotective | Overconfident | Overzealous | Paranoid | Peevish | Pest | Pessimist | Perfectionist | Phobia | Practical | Precarious | Predictable | Proud | Rebellious | Reckless | Remorseless | Rigorous | Sadist | Sarcastic | Skeptic | Seducer | Senile | Scoundrel | Selfish | Self-Martyr | Self-righteous | Shallow | Smart Ass | Soft-Hearted | Solemn | Spineless | Spiteful | Spoiled | Stubborn | Squeamish | Superstitious | Tactless | Temperamental | Theatrical | Tongue-tied | Timid | Troublemaker | Unlucky | Untrustworthy | Unpredictable | User | Vain | Weak-willed | Withdrawn | Wrathful | Zealot

*If your flaw is played for laughs or only affects your character in non-significant ways, it’s not a flaw. A flaw should affect other people, hinder their/your character’s journey significantly, and/or change the character in such a way that it negatively changes who they are significantly. This is meant to be a meme to round out characters that are perhaps being played a bit too positively and to help the writer turn a muse into a more realistic portrayal. List found from here and edited.

[memerabbit]

elementary starters pt.3

feel free to change things to suit your character--make alterations to the sentences to fit their dialogue, change pronouns, etc. parts one and two. these are all taken from season 1. 

“You loaded him like a weapon and pointed him at your wife.”

“I notice you don't have any mirrors around here.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You know a lost cause when you see one.”

“I don't do what I do for the credit.”

“Why do you suppose you hate your job so much?”

“You have two alarm clocks. No one with two alarm clocks loves their job. Two alarm clocks mean it's a chore for you to get up in the morning.”

“Do you close yourself off to people, deny yourself things that might bring you pleasure?”

“You listened. You let someone else's scattering penetrate that attic you call a skull.”

“You already know I favor you.”

“I take it all back. I'm beginning to find the chat that accompanying your companionship extremely useful. It's like white noise. It puts me in a state where I think and obverse better.”

“For future reference, when I say I agree with you, it means I'm not listening.”

“There are any number of reasons why I didn't tell you about my history. I told myself dozens. In the end it's simple, I was embarrassed.”

“I love text shorthand. It's a way you to convey content and tone without losing velocity.

“I know what it's like not to be lucky, it turned my life upside down.”

“Idiots rely on luck.”

“Trusted you? I've been glued to your side for weeks now and you've refused to show even the tiniest bit of your personal history. You know what _______? I don't trust you, because thanks to you, we're basically still strangers.”

“Excellent, you wait here and I'll go to my room, shut the door. Soon as you're absolutely certain I can't hear you, ask away.”

“I left some urine in your room.”

“Coming in here this morning was like walking into a nightmare that I thought I stopped having a long time ago.”

“Could you shoot me all of this in an email? I'm much better at processing the written word.”

“With all due respect, so what?”

“There is nothing more hazardous to my health then boredom.”

“Hard to sleep knowing a psychopath may have ruined two lives from beyond the grave.”

“She rebuilds lives from the ground up. A way to measure her success is by how many careers she has rebuilt and the amount of lives she has saved.”

“As someone once said, once you eliminate the impossible, whatever is left, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.”

“Before you say anything, I'd like to remind you that I'm holding an axe.”

“I have every intention of capturing, torturing and murdering him.”

“I am smarter than everyone I meet.”

“Has anyone heard the theory that the CIA created crack cocaine? I started that.”

“I realize this is very important but can we finish this talk when everyone is fully clothed?”

“I know that you lied to me. I'm not angry. If anything, I am grateful.”

“How many times did you two have sex? My guess is 9 or 10 times.”

‘If something were ever to happen to you, I am not sure I'd be able to forgive myself.”

“If you're going to wallow you have to do it in the privacy of your own room.”

“I found this is a second hand store. I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you.”

“I know it's hard but, get over yourself.”

“I am dissecting a body in the middle of the night. We are not having a moment.”

“We both made a mistake. We fell in love.”

“You named a bee after me?”

“You see people like puzzles, I see them as games. You're a game that I will always win.”

[memerabbit]

new girl sentence starters

feel free to change any pronouns or alter the quotes to suit your muse’s dialogue.

“Okay, first of all, let’s take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave where no one will ever find them.”

“So when I do the chicken dance, I do it a little differently. Instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck. It’s more realistic.”

“Believe it or not, that’s not the first time someone’s broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size.” 

“Yeah, I mean he seemed like a really nice…European DJ with a face tattoo.”

“’Eye of the Tiger’ ended the cold war.”

“That’s not even a little bit true.”

“Damn it! I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere.” 

“Any time a man wants to show a woman how to do something from behind it’s just because he wants an excuse to get real close and breathe on her neck. Watch any sports movie.”

“It’s a horrible neighborhood. There are YOUTHS everywhere.” 

“I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience.”

“Pine has no place in this loft! It’s the wood of poor people and outhouses!” 

“I want to kill you, because I respect you.”

“Put on some pants or at least some really high socks.”

“You like me? You like my personality?” 

“Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They’re like the people version of pleated pants.”

“Oh so that was you? I thought it was a couple bums fighting.”

“I don’t want to kiss and tell, but I ruined my dresser during intercourse. Will you go to Ikea with me?” 

[ sarcastically ] “No part of this conversation is making me want to boil over with rage.”

“You care about burritos more than my children?”

“I don’t celebrate Christmas, okay? Or as I like to call it,White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night.”

“______ said you make fun of my gremlin toenails. That you call them clickety-clacks or centaur boots.”

“I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!”

“Where are your nipples, man?”

“I wish I knew what was going on in his head. He’s like a...grumpy mystery.”

“There are plenty of things to be down about: The deficit, air pollution in China, The Hobbit wasn’t very good…”

“I didn’t really know your dad, except for that one hour when I committed fraud with him.”

“Burn them! Burn them all!”

“I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out _________’s phone number just by randomly choosing numbers.”

“We used to have a school goat named Melvin. He hung himself, tragically, on the swing set.”

“When you’ve had sexual congress with someone and you’ve peered into their soul at the exact moment of fulfillment--”

“No no, let’s hear him out.” 

“I’m not convinced I know how to read, I’ve just memorized a lot of words.”

“After we saw the movie “Titanic,” he started the Billy Zane Fan Club.”

“My boyfriend doesn’t believe in banks.”

“I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, “Put on pants.””

“She’s on a flip phone. I mean, she’s either poor or a time traveler.”

“Guys, we’ve gone soft! With our antibiotics and our sports creams!”

“Do not challenge me to a sex stand-off. I can channel all of my sexual energy into knitting. How do you think I made it through high school?”

“I’m gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, ‘Ew, why did you say moist? I hate that word.’ And then I’m gonna be like, ‘Taste the cake.’ And they’re gonna be like, ‘Damn, it’s moist!’”

“I never thought I’d say this, but I need to be alone with Prince.”

“There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson — I lost a bet.”

"____ calls birds “wind-mice.” He says “yahtzee” when he climaxes. He calls turtles “shell-beavers.””

“I’m not ready. That’s like taking a musical from rehearsal straight to Broadway. You gotta workshop it first!”

“If you are for one second suggesting that I don’t know how to open a musical, how dare you!”

“Sponges make me feel exhilarated.”

“I’m as mad as a dad in traffic!”

“I once tried on my girl cousin’s wool tights and I didn’t hate how it felt.” 

“Be gay. Be gay. Be gay.”

“I’m going to name the baby “Baby” because it’s funny.”

“I’ll take the strongest drink you have, and also a wine spritzer on the side in case I don’t like it.”

“You know how he gets, he turns into a cartoon elephant of yesteryear who just saw a mouse.”

“Look! It’s a baby bird! Oh, it’s a dead baby bird. I need to move on before I get emotional.”

“You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol; you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. Science.”

“If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?”

“OK, yes, she’s a hot slob. Ever since she got boobs people stopped making her do stuff.”

“I simply want a demographic breakdown of all the guys who hit on you.”

“Yeah, I’d trust Beyoncé with my life.”

“Of course we make decisions. How do you think I’m wearing clothes right now?”

[memerabbit]

elementary starters pt. 2

part one here. there may be some overlap! feel free to change any pronouns as you see fit, alter anything to fit your character’s dialogue. these are all taken from season 4.

“You look as spry as ever. My compliments to the virgins whose blood you bathe in.”

“The only thing that matters to me is our partnership.”

“Justice is like an orgasm. It can never come too late.”

“What's the hardest you've ever been hit?”

“Here's a question we should have asked ten minutes ago: what if these cuffs really are unpickable?”

“Fluent in three dozen languages, and he still hasn't seen Say Anything.”

“Close, but wrong cold-blooded reptile. My dinner date is my father.”

“I can't rule out you having foreseen it via the black arts.”

“Are you cooking, or did we get stampeded by a class of second graders?”

“With him, there is always a cost. The toll always comes due.”

“Good luck explaining why you were locked in a closet with a bloody murder weapon.”

“So that rancid smell isn't impropriety?”

“Unless you're dead, you're starting to annoy me.”

“Now that, boys and girls, is how you deliver a threat.”

“We had a long and prosperous relationship, until one day he decided it wasn't quite prosperous enough.”

“Vintage rainbow suspenders? If there's money to be made in this, I need to get to my parents' garage fast!”

"_____ was here, I took a shower, so obviously we're secret lovers.”

“It was a very small bomb.”

“You are one of the best liars I have ever met, and that's saying something.”

“A deficiency, an imbalance in your hormone levels. Is it what's causing this late-onset humanity that you've been exhibiting?”

“Unless you've become an expert in sniping, I fail to see how you can assist here.”

“Were you two in a fight, or were you having sex?” 

“The two aren't mutually exclusive.”

“Define ‘legal’.”

“She likes cats, so, sure.”

“You've sampled the carnal wares of one. Two would be a pattern.”

“I forgot about the roosters.”

“Perhaps we should encourage our local muggers to increase their activity.”

“You're finally making up for that childhood you never had.”

“Well, they spared no expense embracing the cliches, haven't they?”

“You want to steal something from a heavily-armed, meth-dealing band of bike-riding Satanists.”

“So, you'll break her nose, put her in the ER, but you draw the line at murder?”

“Maybe we should have sex now.”

“His skinny jeans make the odds of a concealed firearm quite slim.”

“If you're keen on spending eternity buried alive with a group so narcissistic they think outliving humanity is a good idea, I'd rather melt with the masses and get it over with, wouldn't you?”

“I was just marveling at how you were able to sleep so soundly last night given the incessant sex noise.”

[memerabbit]

red queen sentence starters

“You will be scrutinized. From now on, you will live on the edge of a knife. One false step, one wrong word, and you will suffer for it.” 

“It isn’t a bad feeling though. In fact, I feel, well, alive.”

“The power is in me and I don’t want to let go. It feels better than pain.”

“I’m an accident. I’m a lie. And my life depends on maintaining the illusion.”

“The truth doesn’t matter. It only matters what the people believe.”

“You are playing this game as someone’s pawn.”

“I am finally learning my lesson. Anyone can betray anyone.”

“The truth is what I make it. I could set this world on fire and call it rain.”

“Words can lie. See beyond them.”

“I told you to hide your heart once. You should have listened.”

“If you know someone's fear, you know them.”

“The gods rule us still. They have come down from the stars. And they are no longer kind.”

“You should know the difference between secrets and lies.”

“What I need and what I want are two very different things.”

“I will never make the mistake of loving you ever again."

“There's nothing wrong with being different.”

“To look powerful is to be powerful.”

“A lie will raise me up, and one day another lie will bring me down.”

“There are worse lives to live. Don't feel sorry for me.”

“So you choose him?”

“I choose no one.”

“Sometimes I forget you have the legs of a child."

“They trained me for this. It's their own fault. They helped make their own doom.”

“As beautiful as this world is, it's just as dangerous.”

“I see the cracks now.”

“But I'm not a princess. I'm not the girl who gets saved.”

“I will never submit again. I will never stop fighting.”

“I'll leave as a corpse.”

“What a difference a day makes.”

“I am only human, and humans are not supposed to deal with days like today.”

“Killers don't have to make sense.”

“They don’t act out of need. They are driven by want. And what they want, they get.”

“I look beautiful. And I hate it.”

"Then I'd be alone, too.”

“He’s already given up. I will not.”

“I know to expect the worst out of everything and everyone.”

“He’s a merciless soldier, the heir to a bloody throne.”

“For their lives, for their children's lives, they will give up what little freedom they had left.”

“This is the world I'm trying to bring down, the world trying to kill me and everything I care about.” 

“Time moves slowly when you're waiting for something good”

“I betrayed him, he betrayed me, but you betrayed both of us in a thousand different ways.”

“If. It’s the worst word in the world.”

“The world changed around us and we stayed the same.”

“One day he’ll realize I’m his enemy, and all this will be a far-gone memory. But not yet.”

“They are dead. We are dead. It is over.”

“I'm afraid of failing. I'm afraid of letting this opportunity pass us by. And I'm afraid of what happens if nothing in this world ever changes.” 

“I’m a shadow, and no one remembers shadows.”

“You better hide that heart of yours. It won't lead you anywhere you want to go.”

“They have their own version of truth, and that's the only one people will hear.”

“You never looked at me. You never saw me. Not when you had him.”

“One day people are going to come and take everything you have.”

“He's only seventeen and already a monster.” 

[memerabbit]

I _____ you.

fill in the blank in my inbox!

[memerabbit]

elementary sentence starters

"I always imagined you have a secret lair beneath a volcano for such an occasion." "There is only one thing that can guarantee peace -- your head on a pike. Hypothetically speaking, of course." "I've seen subtler displays of insensitivity. Do you attend the wakes of all your victims?" "Well, lack of imagination is an occupational hazard for an apex predator." "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say. And I've known you for a long time." "What does Buddhism have to do with erectile dysfunction?" "I don't know what's weirder … that I'm spending my Friday night with you or the Stanley freaking Cup." "The great love of my life is a homicidal maniac. No one's perfect." "You think you broke us up with the power of your mind?" "I have what some might call a strong personality." "After many, many hours, I've come to most wretched of realizations. One that might curdle your very blood. You are my friend." “You're bad at this, ______. You're exceptionally bad.”  “So now you have to have brain damage to want a baby?” “That's the sex blanket.”  “I'm not easily surprised but I do confess that I wasn't expecting this.” “I think this is the Olympics of self-pity.”  “Imagine sitting for a portrait today. Hubris practically leaks off the canvas.” “Meeting the parents. That's an important milestone in the romantic passion play.” “Do you know what I haven't said to anyone in a long time? I love you.”  “You hurt yourself. Someone hurt me. You don't know anything about how I'm feeling.” “I have allowed empathetic thoughts to clutter my mind and reduce my perception.” “You know better than to ask me a non-specific question.” “I abhor the dull routine of existence.”  “You engaged in horizontal refreshment with ( them/______ ).” “You are something of a romantic terrorist.” “_____ seems adequately sexed.” “So, I walked all the way to the eastern edge of the property, and I did not find a thing. No dead bodies, no secret hideouts, no smoke monster. There's plenty of mud, though.” “I'm quite certain they were staging a fake murder when they fell victim to two real ones.” “So they didn't commit a murder so much as provide you with a murder-tunity.” “You named your killer robot 'Gus'?” “So, your alibi is that you were oiling your chainsaw.” “We really are living in a golden age for perverts.” “Oh, and if you have any lingering doubts, here's how you can be certain I'm not the one who tried to kill you -- you're alive!” “I was mistaken. You don't know what my partner looks like naked.” “You do realize that pink coconuts do not occur in nature?”  “Are you cooking, or did we get stampeded by a class of second graders?”

[memerabbit]

Sabrina The Teenage Witch Sentence Starters s01e02

[feel free to change any pronouns/alter sentences to suit your needs] “That’s so old, mortals are doing it!” “Relax, that happens a lot with rabbits.” “I couldn’t sleep last night. I tried reading the most boring thing I could find, but not even your diary could do the trick.” “Hey, look. Toast.” “The ugly guy with the mole?” “What’s wrong with hope?” “He did that one, or twice, or maybe a thousand times.” “Paranoid? They’re pointing at us and laughing!” “Are they still doing it?” “We’ll keep you company any time you want to eat.” “Oh, look, here comes our fan club.” “Maybe we could retaliate by spreading lies about her.” “What could we say, that she’s actually nice and sweet?” “Not much revenge in that.” “The world would be a much better place if everyone told the truth.” “Well, do you want to help me bake, your highness?” “Ah, witchcraft in an MTV world.” “Did you know, Richard Nixon’s favorite snack was the bundt?” “Smell your bundts. Smell your neighbors bundts.” “Remember when I swore I didn’t kiss _____? I did. I lied.” “I think _____ and I might be soul mates.” “I was born to play the blues.” “Didn’t I tell you I’m a virgin?” “You run funny.” “Tough chick or damsel in distress?” “He is not going to stand me up.” “Oh no, you look unhappy. Tell _____, I can’t let you bring me down.” “Ignorance was bliss. I was just too stupid to know it.” “I’d rather talk about poetry and nature.” “Oh, and by the way? That dress is really ugly.” “I’ve come to speak the truth.” “Come talk about me over here.” “I think I liked you more when you were distant and mysterious.” “Sometimes I put pieces of paper in your hair and you don’t even notice.” “And now I’m off to the linen closet.” “I love it when you say that. Will you say it again?” “Now lock me in my bedroom before I change my mind.” “Tonight we have no secrets from each other.” “I told ____ he had the world’s most perfect sideburns and I didn’t even have to?”

[rpfunstuff]

Send (╯°□°)╯ for my muse’s reaction to yours punching out someone who was flirting with them!

[wiinterempress-deactivated20180]

250+ starters you can use

even more starters·random starters from various sources (once again, from spotify playlists, random commentary, tv shows, books, movies, and my brain).

❝A little warning would have been nice!❞

❝You almost shot me! Again!❞

❝Hide your wives, hide your daughters, hell, hide your sheep!❞

❝I saw how you danced for them. There is no more need for that innocent act.❞

❝You’ll have to rip my bento box from my cold, dead hands.❞

❝Book? What book?❞

❝It’s all lies! Slander I say!❞

❝So after we were finished, he reached for his phone and began to play Candy Crush.❞

❝You owe me. I mean really owe me.❞

❝Stop it, you’re being even more rude than usual.❞

❝The cold and I don’t mix.❞

❝You look like you were fucked thoroughly last night. Was it worth it?❞

❝I had sex behind the court house.❞

❝Public sex is the best kind of sex next to make up, angry sex.❞

❝They hold you to a different standard because you are not some peasant roaming the streets. You are royalty.❞

❝If you are going to dance, at least pretend you can dance well.❞

❝You have far too much darkness within your heart. You will not be able to enter this place.❞

❝If, for example, you are alive at the bottom of the sea, I shall cut off my two legs and become a fish.❞

❝I want to fall asleep while embraced.❞

❝I once believed long ago that I could wish upon a star and my dreams will come true. Now I know such things are false.❞

❝I will savor the day I can watch you fall.❞

❝I will hunt you down & I will not show mercy.❞

❝There is little we can do. The rot has begun to set in.❞

❝You can keep your little princess in her proper little place. But if she follows all your orders, does exactly what she’s told? She will never ever grow up, she will only grow old.❞

❝Good deed? You so called good deed sentenced him to death.❞

❝That child will do whatever it takes to survive ; I suggest you do the same.❞

❝I am the Queen/King & I demand respect.❞

❝You will find me at the corner of 5th avenue & 57th street.❞

❝Girls don’t want smelly boys. They want chocolate, pretty shoes, and a good fuck every week.❞

❝I want you to break me with your own hands.❞

❝Have you stepped into your own trap, my lord? Any evidence you have against me, you yourself bought and paid for. Do you now begin to believe it?❞

❝Why must you leave a king to follow you? Why not a QUEEN?❞

❝It is true. I was unfaithful to you with all of them. With half your court. With soldiers of your guard, with grooms, with stablehands. Look for the rest of your life at every man that ever knew me and wonder if I didn’t find him a better man than you!❞

❝ I have a little neck.❞

❝You make love as you eat, with a great deal of noise and no subtlety!❞

❝Will you not kiss your daughter?❞

❝She has the face of a simpering sheep. And the manners. But not the morals. I don’t want her near me.❞

❝How DARE you and the rest of your barbarians set fire to my library?❞

❝You have such bony knees.❞

❝Queens. Queens. Strip them naked as any other woman, they are no longer queens.❞

❝I will not be told where I can go and where I cannot go!❞

❝The King has asked for me?❞

❝Even in carnal matters?❞

❝I shall not go the way of my sister!❞

❝Power is as exciting as love, I discover.❞

❝And who has more power than our dearest king/queen?❞

❝Touch her, and I’ll have her sent from court.❞

❝Mind your tongue, or I’ll have you sent from court.❞

❝I ORDER you.❞

❝…I think I’m a good person. I think there’s good in everyone.❞

❝I see these kids I’ve known all my life and wonder: What happened?❞

❝Remember those days when we were singing and clapping, happy and napping, baking cookies, eating paste?❞

❝College will be paradise.❞

❝Grow up. Bulimia’s so ‘87.❞

❝…Before you answer: I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes.❞

❝For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure.❞

❝You LIAR.❞

❝They will say my child is the bastard, regardless of what you do.❞

❝I care not who has the title “bastard” when I am dead.❞

❝You are the QUEEN. A girl this time, a boy the next.❞

❝Chaos is great! chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling!❞

❝Don’t read it. She’s having extra-heavy flow and wanted some advice from my gyno.❞

❝What’s your damage?❞

❝Sorry but I really had to wake you. See I decided that I must ride you ‘til I break you.❞

❝I think we broke my mattress.❞

❝No sleep tonight for you, better chug that Mountain Dew.❞

❝I’m like oxygen. I’m everywhere.❞

❝Thus ending her hangover. I say we go with Big Blue.❞

❝Shoulda thought of that before you killed me. I’m gonna be coughing up drain cleaner for eternity.”❞

❝Why are you not dead? Why do you live? How do you live? Why do you not lie at the deepest hole of the sea, bloodless, and bloated, and at peace with honorable death?❞

❝There are never enough hours in the days of a queen, and her nights have too many.❞

❝I was hoping you’d rip my clothes off me, sport.❞

❝I bet there’s all kinds of interesting things in that locker. Maybe some “ich luge” bullets…?”❞

❝I hope she’ll be a fool – that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.❞

❝And I like large parties. They’re so intimate. At small parties there isn’t any privacy.❞

❝You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together.❞

❝Surprise, surprise.❞

❝I’m older, but hardly more wise.❞

❝Is she beautiful?❞

❝I have borne you a daughter, Your Majesty.❞

❝Your Queen, I cannot be. Your mistress, I will not be.❞

❝For men love what they cannot have, and hate what they cannot control.❞

❝If I must die, then I will die boldly, as I have lived.❞

❝But stars come out at night.❞

❝I am a fool to own it, but I am in a fever for his/her touch.❞

❝Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.❞

❝Is that how it is? You fuck me and go behind my back and pledge your love to another?❞

❝Cut the shrill voice alright? I can hardly hear myself think.❞

❝If you wake me up, I will throw sharp objects at you.❞

❝Okay, I get your angry, but you should know better than to antagonize them.❞

❝They’re as far away as I could send them.❞

❝Are we ruled by superstition?❞

❝I do not fear the people.❞

❝BUT WHY IS THE RUM GONE?❞

❝On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain?❞

❝It is okay to cry. Crying is a natural response to pain.❞

❝What good is that act, unless every person in this kingdom first swears an oath to you? To both of us?❞

❝Welcome to the nerd lab.❞

❝The more important they think they are, the quicker they finish.❞

❝Stay silent, & perhaps they will spare you.❞

❝Wanna fight for me?❞

❝Hey, are you still alive?❞

❝You speak as though you have seen this yourself.❞

❝You’re late. You missed quite a show.❞

❝Such tragic lovers.❞

❝I honestly don’t find that to be romantic. It’s pathetic.❞

❝Love? You think love will save you?❞

❝Only fools believe that soulmates exist.❞

❝I don’t know why the hell you want to sit courtside, unless you’re THAT desperate for balls in your face.❞

❝Gather the sheets and burn them. They cannot find evidence of this.❞

❝The blood is in your hands, not mine.❞

❝You speak as though you are innocent in this.❞

❝You took their heart and destroyed it.❞

❝Do you like killing? Do you like to watch the fear in their eyes as you bring your blade even closer to them?❞

❝I do not fear death.❞

❝Am I in hell?❞

❝If you think for a moment, then you’ll find it.❞

❝I will not be meek or obedient.❞

❝You do not own me. I am not your property or anyone else’s for that matter.❞

❝And you think sleeping with someone who is married is going to add excitement to your life?❞

❝There are worst faiths.❞

❝I would rather die than be locked in a cage.❞

❝You can take that pen and shove it up your ass.❞

❝Let me see your face.❞

❝My computer is acting weirder than usual. Did you give it an energy drink or something?❞

❝TV makes shit look so easy.❞

❝I could try, but no promises.❞

❝I just want to go home and shower.❞

❝That cat looks like he wants to murder us in our sleep.❞

❝I think there are better things to do in this city other than gawk at the buildings.❞

❝Put. those. cookies. down.❞

❝Oh shit, I made a booboo.❞

❝Banana monkeys apple balls!❞

❝What sort of insult is that? My cat can do a better job.❞

❝I have my eye on you. And I mean one eye. The other one is keeping an eye on the other guy.❞

❝You’re quite defiant, aren’t you.❞

❝Hold your tongue, or I will cut it out myself.❞

❝Bring them BACK.❞

❝I shall go to my grave loving you. HATING YOU.❞

❝Those who refuse will die.❞

❝How do you forget?❞

❝This was supposed to be a surprise damn it.❞

❝High or low, they will sign or they will die.❞

❝I believe in choices, both good and bad.❞

❝I didn’t fall off the horse. I held on for dear life as the horse dragged me along for a period of many years.❞

❝Funny how things work out. You love me now, when I do not love you.❞

❝I hate you. I hate your desire & MINE.❞

❝Call it what you wish, but you and I both know it’s the truth.❞

❝Don’t speak to me as if you know what I am suffering through. You know nothing.❞

❝Shut your eyes then.❞

❝That child saved your life.❞

❝Hey if you ever need some RELIEF, you know where to go.❞

❝I am no whore, despite what you like to think.❞

❝Beauty fades.❞

❝Mac or PC, I don’t care.❞

❝Find a legal way then.❞

❝Their blood is on your hands. Not mine.❞

❝Can’t make a habit of this you know.❞

❝Can I stay with you? I can’t be alone to my thoughts. The darkness will claim me again.❞

❝You swore you would protect me!❞

❝You are a toad.❞

❝What did you do, roll around in pig shit?❞

❝Get out you snake.❞

❝If they hurt me, then I will close my eyes.❞

❝There is nothing you can say that hasn’t already been said.❞

❝Music is important. There are so many advantages.❞

❝I couldn’t sleep. Can I stay here?❞

❝You are my soul mate!❞

❝I once tried to read that. I couldn’t get through the book.❞

❝BURN ME THEN. Do you think I care now that you have taken everything from me?❞

❝To love? Or to spy?❞

❝Which witch is which?❞

❝I signed up for a fun adventure in a creepy mansion. I didn’t sign up for demons trying to murder me.❞

❝Who’s your daddy now?❞

❝I’ll be good, I promise.❞

❝Do you hate me so much you would do this?❞

❝I loved you! I gave you my heart & you stepped on it.❞

❝My love for you surpasses everything.❞

❝I am a fool, yes. But this fool loves you. Do you hear me? I love you.❞

❝Take it from me as best you can, but there will come a time that you can no longer deny it.❞

❝Will you give yourself to me?❞

❝Once, I think I could have loved you. But now, I think I can only despise you.❞

❝My heart cannot take this secrecy anymore. Why must I hide my feelings for you?❞

❝You can try.❞

❝I think that there are better ways to spend my time than to listen to their insults.❞

❝Pathetic.❞

❝Children? Oh no, I– I don’t think I can even have children.❞

❝Impossible things can be possible if you have enough hope.❞

❝Did they touch you?❞

❝I don’t think I can move.❞

❝The best time of year is when I can cuddle with you in front of the fire.❞

❝My heart belongs to one being and it is you.❞

❝I need help. I cannot face this alone.❞

❝You ask far too much. Please, don’t make me do this.❞

❝Are you pregnant?❞

❝I’m pregnant.❞

❝I’m sorry, but your child is dead.❞

❝Who is the father?❞

❝How can you love a person like him/her?❞

❝Monster!❞

❝You are not a monster. Stop thinking that you are!❞

❝There is nothing you could have done. Their life was forfeit the moment they left this place.❞

❝Y-You? What are you doing here?❞

❝The last dance you will ever have is with me.❞

❝We are two ships in the night.❞

❝The shadows grow darker.❞

❝It will not be long before the darkness consumes your heart.❞

❝You belong to me now.❞

❝You WITCH.❞

❝You sold your soul to the devil & for what?❞

❝Revenge will be mine.❞

❝The dogs will eat their fill of you and shit your remains onto the crags.❞

❝Our Grand Rite now is done. Blood dimmed dawn now shall come. Powers of the moon and sun ignite. All flesh trembles at the sight. Thirteen souls fed to hungry earth opens the way for our dark lord’s birth.❞

❝Oh this ain’t right. This ain’t right. Any fool can feel that, even this fool.❞

❝ I shall miss the dazzling wit of your conversation.❞

❝This is my vow. I will meet you here, before the moon goes above those trees. I swear it.❞

❝You know, my father said this was the land of second chances. This can be ours. All we have to do is walk away.❞

❝Living in here and not believing in witches is like living in London and not believing in fog. It is to deny what is right in front of you.❞

❝Love is a two-faced coin and one is certainly betrayal.❞

❝Love is not a lost cause. I will not betray the one true love of my life.❞

❝If. Such a small word with such immense consequence. For all of us.❞

❝The wine is from God. The drunkard is from the devil.❞

❝I recognize the symptoms of your illness, and it’s not called marsh fever. You’re with child.❞

❝He’s insane.❞

❝This is a good day for him.❞

❝If you knew my father, you’d commend me for waiting this long.❞

❝How long may we enjoy your curative presence in town?❞

❝There was a reason for my marriage. Remind me of it.❞

❝Is it murder to defend your mother’s honor?❞

❝And if these times have made you clever, the coming months may thrust genius upon you.❞

❝You care so much for someone you hardly know.❞

❝That was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen, like a man sticking his head inside a lion’s jaw. I would gladly reward you for your bravery.❞

❝All things are permissible in our dreams.❞

❝I believe trust needs to be earned.❞

❝The others bought and sold. We merely proved ourselves better at the game, but we draw the line at murder. Do we not?❞

❝I do tend to win whatever battles I fight.❞

❝You’re not the only one who knows what it feels like to hold desires that come true only in dreams. But every morning we have a choice – forget our dreams or live them.❞

❝True malice like that which powers the Grand Rite ferments best in a loveless heart. I have looked into your heart and it is anything but loveless.❞

❝And so the queen came to rule the king and all of his kingdom and thus became the Queen of the Night. And so she lived happily ever after.❞

❝For it was not by a kiss she might make a frog into a prince, but by a kiss that she make a king into a toad.❞

❝That night she felt one monster on top of her and another inside and she glimpsed what her soul was becoming and learned her first lesson as queen: be careful what you wish for.❞

❝You know the worst part about becoming a queen? You often have to marry a king.❞

❝Not all queens start as princesses.❞

❝Your eyes. So filled with want. The hard part is not getting what you want, child. The hard part is knowing what you want.❞

❝We had a deal.❞

❝I want to be just like you.❞

❝Sometimes in life we make choices. These choices in life they lead us to do things, terrible things and we don’t wish to, we’d do anything not to. Choice informs choice. They don’t resemble anything you’d have wanted or wish for. Tell me if it was like that. If it was a difficult choice. Please. Please. So that I may still believe in goodness.❞

❝I murdered 20 men and I make no excuses for myself. Will you have me arrested?❞

❝The dead don’t lie.❞

❝I am the only one that knows.❞

❝The next lie to cross your lips will be your last.❞

❝You would threaten me, your one true ally?❞

❝So you would buy me outright?❞

❝I want it to stop. The torture, the torment, the suffering… or I will tell them. I will tell them all who and what you are.❞

❝We know that what we desire and what we must do to survive are often at odds.❞

❝My husband’s affliction has robbed him of both reason and sense.❞

❝We’ve lost control. She’s no longer ours.❞

❝Why? Because this is the fulfillment of all our dreams. Vengeance for centuries of oppression.❞

❝I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a mixture of reason and bullshit in a man.❞

❝There was a time when I might have suckled more than a toad.❞

❝All the world shall be yours in return; all the world.❞

❝You asked who would do such a thing. The answer is many people.❞

❝The witch hunt has begun and we will be runninng the trials.❞

❝He/She has all the sweetness of an apple on a tree.❞

❝This dog will come back and bite.❞

❝Save your thoughts. Say nothing.❞

❝You must cry for me, for I have no more tears.❞

❝Where is the murderer?❞

❝Be careful, be very careful, or you might find yourself wearing peasant shoes.❞

❝You see I’ve lost everything in this town that I ever cared for. You however, you have everything left to lose. A sentiment that makes you vulnerable.❞

❝Do not stare at him in public. It weakens you.❞

❝The only thing keeping me alive is the look on your face.❞

❝All things return, like every salty tear returns to the sea.❞

❝They will hunt and kill and drown in their very own blood till there’s no one left standing.❞

[whiskeyarchived-deactivated2017]

edenofelysium:

My muse has blood on their hands! Send your muse’s reaction!

[hawkeyecut]

TFLN meme.

[whiskeyarchived-deactivated2017]

hawkeyecut:

txt; I’m not closing myself off to the possibility of making a bad life choice. txt; Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex. txt; You didn’t thow up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug. txt; Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?! txt; Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said “It’s game time”. He was into it. txt; He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm and play Candy Crush at the same time? txt; A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up. txt; I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I’m not fucking. txt; If I stopped drinking I’d have to take up murdering. txt; To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth. txt; Went up to some dude that hit on my friend, and told him he has a voice like my grandma. Apparently didn’t have muscles or kindness like my grandma, so can you pick me up at the ER please? txt; Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords? txt; Okay first of all, that is a sick-ass nickname, please call me that forever. Second, I need your help. txt; Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face, then went home and ate a frozen pizza. txt; We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare. txt; He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later he tried to make out with me. txt; I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I’m not getting laid. txt; GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET txt; I lost my voice. So I”m going to pretend I’m Ariel with legs today. txt; No, he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull. txt; NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW. txt; Holy shit, last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me. txt; Is it too far to say to someone “You’re useless for everything besides sex”? txt; How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like…How? txt; Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka? txt; Can you repeat that, but with context? txt; How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I’m trying to watch Downtown Abbey. txt; I agree with that homeless guy though. You do need a haircut. txt; I just licked wine off my own thigh. I’ve hit a new low. txt; Well, he was my lawyer, and now we get drunk and hook up. txt; She forgot a bra, so she just used saran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked. txt; Be happy for me…Or horny…Or be a really good friend, and feel what I really want you to feel. Jealousy. txt; Going on FB and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying. txt; If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all. txt; Hey, can you explain why there’s a dissected coconut in my purse???? txt; Yeah, I’m just gonna keep fucking other guys ‘til this idiot figures out he loves me. txt; P.S., he swallowed my earring last night, so yeah. txt; Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I’m just a bitch and some people find it endearing. txt; That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very, very terrified of you. txt; I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN. txt; Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they’ll die if they don’t send unsolicited dick pics txt; I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder, and it actually hurts. txt; You were more fun when you didn’t have morals. txt; Tell me again why we had to facebook stalk your therapist? txt; I just wanted a booty call and now somehow I’m at his parents’ playing dominoes. But they have tequila, so it’s cool. txt; That’s actually very serious…I really do think of you whenever I see pizza. txt; when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn’t expect them to be about coyotes and burning shoes. txt; Everclear isn’t food, damnit. txt; Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn’t worth it. txt; Do you want to talk about dinosaurs? txt; I should stop using “Braveheart would do it” as a basis for decision making… txt; He’s my ex’s boss. I’m not above sleeping with him for that fact alone. txt; I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex, and kicked him out, and it’s only 1 p.m. Successful day so far. txt; He is getting no nudes from me. I don’t even care if I’m losing his legal advice. txt; I’m not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I’m in. txt; Was I at least graceful when I fell down that flight of stairs and broke my hand? txt; My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything…and drinking… txt; …Okay, fine. But I don’t want to be a better person tonight. I’ll be a better person tomorrow. txt; Just once I’d like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on. txt; I tried to help you up, but you said “let me dance it off”. txt; Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I’m over here deep throating a bottle of whiskey.

[stephseymour-deactivated2019081]

The Ultimate Relationship Tag

[whiskeyarchived-deactivated2017]

steph-seymour:

Send ‘✩’ for the following:

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? Who threatens to leave but never actually does? Who actually keeps their word and leaves? Who trashes the house? Do either of them get physical? How often do they argue/disagree? Who is the first to apologise?

Sex:

Who is on top? Who is on the bottom? Who has the strangest desires? Any kinks? Who’s dominant in bed? Is head ever in the equation? If so, who is better at performing it? Ever had sex in public? Who moans the most? Who leaves the most marks? Who screams the loudest? Who is the more experienced of the two? Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? Rough or soft? How long do they usually last? Is protection used? Does it ever get boring? Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? 

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? If so, how many children do your muses want/have? Who is the favorite parent? Who is the authoritative parent? Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? Who goes to parent teacher interviews? Who changes the diapers? Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? Who spends the most time with the children? Who packs their lunch boxes? Who gives their children ‘the talk’? Who cleans up after the kids? Who worries the most? Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? Who is the little spoon? Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?   How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? Who gives the most kisses? What is their favourite non-sexual activity? Where is their favourite place to cuddle? Who is more likely to playfully grope the other?  How often do they get time to themselves?

Sleeping:

Who snores? If both do, who snores the loudest? Do they share a bed or sleep separately? If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? Who talks in their sleep? What do they wear to bed? Are either of your muses insomniacs? Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? Who wakes up with bed hair? Who wakes up first? Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? What is their favourite sleeping position? Who hogs the sheets? Do they set an alarm each night? Can a television be found in their bedroom? Who has nightmares? Who has ridiculous dreams? Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?  Who makes the bed?  What time is bed time?  Any routines/rituals before bed? Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? 

Work:

Who is the busiest? Who rakes in the highest income? Are any of your muses unemployed? Who takes the most sick days? Who is more likely to turn up late to work? Who sucks up to their boss? What are their jobs? Who stresses the most? Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? Are your muses financially stable? 

Home:

Who does the washing? Who takes out the trash? Who does the ironing? Who does the cooking? Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? Who is messier?  Who leaves the toilet roll empty? Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? Who forgets to flush the toilet? Who is the prankster around the house? Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? Who mows the lawn? Who answers the telephone? Who does the vacuuming? Who does the groceries? Who takes the longest to shower? Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? How many cars do they own? Do they own their home or do they rent? Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? Do they live in the city or in the country?  Do they enjoy their surroundings? What’s their song? What do they do when they’re away from each other? Where did they first meet? How did they first meet? Who spends the most money when out shopping? Who’s more likely to flash their assets? Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? Any mental issues? Who’s terrified of bugs? Who kills the spiders around the house? Their favourite place? Who pays the bills? Do they have any fears for their future? Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? Who uses up all of the hot water?  Who’s the tallest? Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? Who wanders around in their underwear? Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? What do they tease each other about? Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? Do they have mutual friends? Who crushed first?  Any alcohol or substance related problems? Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? Who swears the most?

[minortrioarchive-blog]

bbcmycroft:

shit me and my girlfriend say to each other

“I’m the best but so are you.”  ”A man just gave me fruit. In a flirty way. I don’t know what to do.” “Tell him that you are taken and have someone who can also provide fruit.”  “You girlfriended me for a reason & that is my knowledge of noodles.”  “I’m only in it for your stove skills.”  “Or you just didn’t think that the embodiment of evil wore dresses.”  “I have a problem and it’s called retail therapy.”  “Oh my god, your dad is attractive.”  “Aren’t I amazing?”  “You better not be floorgying.”  “‘Fine’ equals fightin’ words.”  “Don’t mutiny, friend.”  “If you’re an asshole and you know it clap your hands.”  “I’m apparently dating them both even though they’re not dating.”  “I thought you were dating me.”  “[Name] and I are measuring all of our body parts for some reason.”  “My big toe is apparently three inches around.”  “Is it bad that I’ve been wearing the same shirt for three days?”  “So I went into her room and started screaming.”  “Do you have a chainsaw I can borrow?”  “Oh my god, you’re such a cat lady.”  “I need a How to Stop Worrying 101.”  “I’m terrible at being an adult.”  “I decided not to have feelings when I was 11.”  “I mean, technically it’s illegal to send humans in the mail but we can work around that.”  “I’m about to commit murder.”  “You’re pretty awesome, too, I guess.”  “There are no handcuff emojis. This is upsetting.”  “Please stop me from strangling somebody.” “I bet saving the vacuum was fun for her.”  “Anyone who visits the school & sees you will be so enchanted.”  “Okay, I did the adult thing and showered.”  “I should probably shave my legs soon.”  “So, my dad is in jail.”  “But how can I be alive if I’m not experiencing negative emotions?”  “I’m basically a cat.”  “The coffee has its grubby little hands in your life now.”  “It’s unsolicited dick pics but from a cat.”  “I had a dream that your shirtless dad tried to kill me.” “Come on, kitty, show me your goddamn penis.”  “I stabbed someone in the eye thirty minutes ago.”  “Of course it was your ability to use a range that led me to discover my true feelings for you.”  “You deserve the book of shame right now.”  “I like being paid attention to.” “I think we’re at the point in our relationship where I can take you to the bathroom with me when I have to pee.”