⋆｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡ Welcome ˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊

Please read the pin before you interact. Thank you.

[earl-0f-phantomhive]

Hello all.

Welcome to the house of Phantomhive. Or, more accurately, the blog of Phantomhive. I am Ciel, and I am in charge of this page. My pronouns are he/him, and I am a fictive in a plural collective. First and foremost, I will be making a few things clear: what this blog is, how I will run it, and the rules. Please read all of them before interacting. Thank you.

"What is this blog for?"

This blog will be my personal blog. I will use it for whatever I see fit. Reblogs, communication, my personal diary, ect. I might even post art. I will tag things accordingly, of course.

"How will this blog be run?"

Strictly. I will not tolerate disrespect in this space. Be it to myself or any communities. (LGBTQ+, the disabled community, the DID community, ect ect.) If you break any set boundaries you will be blocked. If you have manners then we should all be fine.

“What are the rules?”

Relatively simple. I will list them out here. Please read thoroughly.

-Hate speech will not be tolerated. This includes the BIPOC community, the queer community, the disabled community, the DID community, the sfw agere community, and others. While this blog is not centered around these topics it is a safe place to discuss them. You will be blocked and reported if attempted.

-I am not my source. I might behave similarly, look similarly, talk similarly, or I might not. Comparisons are fine, but do not "correct" me on how I "should" act. You will be blocked if attempted.

-This blog is anti-proship. It's sickening to me I have to say this at all but this includes and is specifically directed to Sebastian × Ciel shippers. Do not bring that into my space, and I will not go into yours. You will be blocked and reported if attempted.

-Our body is nineteen physically, and so is our host. If you are under eighteen bodily please do not DM us. Likes and reblogs are fine. You will be blocked if attempted.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy your time on the Phantomhive blog. Feel free to ask questions or comment if you wish.

-Ciel Phantomhive

[earl-0f-phantomhive]

Helloo! Its @tender-trancy here, just noting since im on a sideblog ^^ Just wanted to check in on ya, since you seem to be one of the few sourcemate[? words] blogs that isnt uhh,,, strange I suppose?? Just making sure you're alive, and happy Halloween/holidays for whenever you see this!!

Cheers, Trancy!

Hello! He’s very much NOT dead, but he hasn’t been front much at all recently! Sorry to everyone who likes talking to the little twerp (/pos). Honestly I’m shocked he stayed around so long a few months ago, he mostly makes very brief appearances

If I see him again I’ll let him know to message you guys :3 Thank you for being concerned! Happy Halloween!! -October

[earl-0f-phantomhive]

.

I didn’t want it to be painless. I refused to even consider it. When the time eventually came I wanted it to hurt. I wanted it to burn. I wanted all of it-all of me-to burn with it.

Nothing that ever truly lived goes out in comfort. Nobody who had a life worth living is granted a peaceful death.

I am a rotten, selfish, child. I damned my world to ash, only because I could. I’ve ruined families. I’ve ruined my own.

Anything less would be an insult.

[earl-0f-phantomhive]

.

I miss him. I know logically it was a trick. I know it deep down. I think even back then I knew. I still miss him.

After the boat and its sinking something had changed. Between him, between us, between the entire dynamic. He had gotton hurt. Badly. It had scared me. This wasn’t an injury he could just magic away. He couldn’t do a hand trick and suddenly get rid of the gash. When I realized that I panicked harder.

He had hated it. He’s not as nonchalant as he likes to believe himself. I wasn’t an idiot-I knew he loathed to look anything less then perfect. Especially in front of others and especially in front of me. Truthfully? I think he expected I would be upset. Maybe even angry.

I wasn’t. I was scared. I told him to rest. I told him to let the medics bandage him up (even if it wouldn’t really do anything). He had done a wonderful job and I had just wanted him to recover. Normally I wouldn’t worry. Wouldn’t bat an eye; but if he could be this badly injured? I was suddenly unsure if he could die from this or not.

As childish as it feels to admit? I went to his room that night. We (Elizabeth and I) had requested he get a nicer one. Seeing as he was injured and a high ranking servant.

I just. I needed to check on him.

He was only pretending to be asleep, I think. I had moved to the chair by the desk. I watched for…I don’t know how long. He eventually stopped pretending. Tried to ask if something was the matter. I shouted, when he had tried to sit up.

We talked. He asked, again, what was wrong. I would never say it outloud, but he wasn’t stupid.

I’m not sure if he was upset because of my worry or because of something else. Maybe he was upset because his picture of the “untouchable, perfect, butler” had been smudged.

I ended up spending the night in the staff quarters, rather than my assigned room.

After that though. Something has changed.

Before, I think, he thrived on the idea of being strong. Always appearing perfect and unharmed. Always able to kill any threat to me or himself. I think…I think that he thought that I would somehow think less of him now.

I never thought that, of course. In fact-looking back on it all? It went the opposite.

Suddenly he was much more human in my eyes. A demon, of course, but one that could be hurt. I’m…unsure. Of the exact thoughts and feelings going through my mind at the time; but the dynamic from before was gone. His health was more important to me. His feelings were more important to me. He, somehow, became more important to me.

And, after he was done brooding, I think he noticed it too. The different light I saw him in.

I think. I think how he saw it was different. More as an opportunity. I think he worried that if he didn’t appear untouchable, like he couldn’t protect me, that I would have reason to back out of our contract. I think he saw this as a new chance. Another way to secure his place by my side. That if I sympathized with him, if I cared about him, I would never even think of backing out.

Turns out he was right.

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— 𝐀𝐮𝐝𝐫𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞, 𝐴 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑃𝑎𝑡 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑒𝑟

[bitesizedpoetry]

Sylvia Plath, aged 25, from "The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath" (dated March 8, 1958)

[earl-0f-phantomhive]

🐇🐺

[earl-0f-phantomhive]

I think there’s something wrong with me.

Social grace was never my specialty. Not back then and certainly not now. However the more time I spend up front the more I realize I don’t…particularly like talking to people.

No.

That’s not right. It’s not to say I’m not fond of the people I do talk too. I like the people on here, and the friends the others have made. And I like getting to know them. It’s just painfully exhausting. I don’t know what to say, or how much to say, and figuring it out is much more complicated than it should be. Waiting for a response is dreadful, I seem to have lost all sense of social cues, I’m no good at masking, and that’s not even mentioning the fact I’m hardly able to speak verbally when I’m front.

It’s exhausting. And terribly frustrating.

[greenacademian]

[earl-0f-phantomhive]

Whoa. Who said that.

Must have been the wind

[morphic-abyss]

[earl-0f-phantomhive]

I understand that to talk to people I must actually talk to people.

Unfortunately I don’t wish to do that.

[zhaeros]

You illuminate the depths of my soul, embracing both the light and and the dark

[cedric-k-rossignol]

[cedric-k-rossignol]

[cedric-k-rossignol]

[cedric-k-rossignol]