I learn everything the hard way

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@ebbing-tides
I learn everything the hard way
Untitled , 1045 Divisadero St. * - Eileen David , 1978.
American , b. 1952 -
Watercolour monoprint on paper , 12 x 16 in.
*San Francisco
"This Story Might Save Your Life" by Tiffany Crum
find more here
Mermaid Fountain at Tokyo DisneySea
i was training a young person at work, and she referred to sexual assault as "SA" out loud, and i immediately was like, "no, it's sexual assault, call it what it is," bc idgaf if the algorithm overlords have taught y'all that you should fear direct language, how tf do any of you expect to ever address real issues with any amount of seriousness if you can't even say the words? imagine an advocate looking a sexual assault survivor in the eyes and asking "did he grape you?" it's absolutely fucking absurd, but these young interns and new hires are coming into an environment where we deal with survivors of all different kinds of abuse, and they're coming with the mindset that the words are as bad as the actions, and that makes them shitty at the job and look juvenile af
i HATE self-censorship for a lot of reasons, but being in crisis work makes it even more frustrating. who are you censoring for? like i am being so fr, WHO are you censoring for? have you even thought it through? people who have been raped know that they have been raped. if someone attempts suicide or is grieving someone who did, saying "sewer slide" isn't going to protect them from any of the feelings. a murder victim's family isn't going to feel better bc you said "unalived" instead of murdered. if anything, it's just extremely invalidating and othering. it's saying "what happened to you is so bad that i won't even say the word," which is NOT trauma-informed care. you are not protecting survivors/victims when you self-censor. the ONLY things you protect when you self-censor are the puritanical ideologies that are being encouraged by rich fascists who want your money and obedience
say the fucking words, guys. just say the goddamn words before i go insane!!!
All of this and also: Calling it "SA" out loud is just... too casual??? Like it's an easy, quick, offhand acronym with fewer syllables, it lets you gloss over the idea in your brain and get through your sentence faster. And maybe we should not be doing that. Maybe we should be talking about serious topics with serious words. Maybe we should be slowing down and giving it the gravity it deserves.
Portree Harbour, Isle of Skye from Scotland Painting and Art Prints
Reading a book about the psychology of friendship (that, oh by the way, taps the ace and trans communities in its discussion not as clinical categories but by including anecdotes from people in those communities!!) and somehow it encouraged me to quadruple down on saying:
We literally do not have enough friendships. Our culture's obsession with romance over friendship is shockingly new (1850's on) and it is having a serious impact on our health across the board, specifically men. This problem has become sharply exacerbated in the last 20 years.
We need more friendships. We need more friendship in media. "But what if they kissed?" What if they didn't, and the love that was there mattered anyway??? Take my hand. Imagine this with me. A relationship unbound by law or expectation. People who choose one another again and again. To stay in each other's lives when there are no societal tethers holding them together.
Go read Platonic by Marisa G. Franco (PhD).
Untitled , 2018 California St * - Eileen David , 1978.
American , b. 1952 -
Watercolour monoprint on paper , 12 x 16 in.
*San Francisco
btw you will miss this in 5 or 10 years. memory will smooth these circumstances down like a river stone, and you will find yourself longing for a shade of light or a moment of this particular innocence. you don't know about what happens next, and one day that will be the most alluring thing of all. don't leave it all for nostalgia. have a nice night now, whatever night it happens to be.
tiny 2cm drawings in my sketchbook