nobody

Just my personal journal at this point

[eckvanett]

CNC and coercion are two completely different entities. One is consensual, the other is not.

One. Is. Consensual. The. Other. Is. Not.

You shouldn’t be pressured into having sex if you don’t want to, regardless of who it is. Regardless if you’re dating, married, strangers, it doesn’t fucking matter, you should not be pressured into having sex.

[thoughtkick]

“The cost of not following your heart is spending the rest of your life wishing you had.”

— Unknown

[eckvanett]

No because actually fuck being in bad relationships. If your partner refuses to listen to your boundaries, run. That’s actually so shitty and you deserve better.

I say as I’m currently in the same situation

[eckvanett]

I don’t think we can ever be just strangers. No matter how many years have passed, no matter how long it’s been since we talked, no matter the relationships we’ve been in after ours, I don’t think we can only be strangers.

When we caught up for a brief moment, my boyfriend at the time said it seemed like there was still something there between us even though we hadn’t been together for 6+ years. I told him no, I said there wasn’t anything between us. I didn’t feel like there was anything between us at that time, but the longer that time has progressed, maybe he was right.

I don’t know what it is about you. I don’t know why you always pop up in my head. There’s something about you that’s still attached to my soul - something tells me that I need to check in with you and ensure that everything’s okay. It’s been that way since the very first day we had ever talked.

So maybe that boyfriend was right. Maybe there still is still something between us, even if it’s minuscule. Throughout the years when I’d check in with you or you’d check in with me, we’d end up getting back to where we left off, like nothing happened.

I can tell that you’ll always haunt my soul and there’s no escaping it.

But there isn’t a single thing that I can do about it besides mourn you and you aren’t even dead.

[eckvanett]

idk maybe i just love people too hard and love them too much lol

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[bpdohwhatajoy]

[eckvanett]

Okay WOW the paper clip called me out

[felineandhustle]

[eckvanett]

For Him

After forgetting about you for a little bit, I got a notification saying that you had followed me on instagram. It had been two years since we talked, then two before then, and another two before that time as well. I hesitated for a moment but I had followed you back pretty quick. After three awkward messages to one another after that, we had exchanged Snapchat’s and then shit got real.

I won’t lie to you, I still had so much anger in me, even as a young adult, because of the shit you put me through. I was mad at you for years. I blamed you for my shitty love life, I even told you that you started the avalanche of every boyfriend I had ever had cheating on me. But after everything that I had told you, you apologized.

You fucking apologized for everything that you did to me, even the shit that you did before we were even 16. I don’t think you understand how long I had waited for that apology and how much I needed it. I think that’s when all of the anger I had for you for years had managed to dissipate. After that apology, everything felt normal. There was no more awkwardness, no more resentment, just two old friends catching up.

I had told you about the relationship I was in. About how he cheated on me as well and that I wasn’t sure if I still wanted to be with him because I wasn’t over it. You told me something along the lines of “I know I can’t speak on it since I did the same thing, but you can’t live your life in misery.”

That was three days before he found out. He has went through our messages that were well over 6 years ago and he got mad at me for not only befriending you, but he got mad at me for confiding in someone who would be neutral (double standard since he confided into another girl as well). He got upset with me for telling you that I wasn’t sure if I still wanted to be with him after what he had done. To keep the peace, I blocked you.

One thing you’ll never know is that even though we had spoken over the course of those 3 days, you treated me with more respect than he had in 4 years. I wasn’t walking on eggshells speaking to you, we both said things to one another that we had held onto for years. We both amends. We were both respectful. We both showed one another that we had grown as individuals.

That was the last time we spoke, nearly two years ago. I thought you had dropped off of the face of the earth because I couldn’t find a single social media account of yours, I only found your tiktok that hadn’t been active. That was until I got a notification the other day that you had viewed my page as well.

So JT if you see this, which I know you won’t, just know that you’ll always have a massive place in my entire being. We may just have to be strangers that subtly check on one another through looking at each other’s social media pages but I don’t think there’s ever going to be a chance that you aren’t going to be on my mind. Even when I’m 96 years old, married with 80 great grandchildren. You’ll always hold a special place in my heart.

[anxietyproblem]

[anxietyproblem]

[anxietyproblem]

[daily-spooky]

[daily-spooky]

[catchymemes]

[anxietyproblem]

[ruinedchildhood]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

This is an omen of something