Change-Making

[ecmjoanne]

Welcome, 2021

New year, fresh start. Building out of the nightmare pit. So much wreckage, so much broken down around us. So much potential for rebuilding.

Rebuilding in the image of all that we yearn to see … climate action, climate justice. Social justice. A new political system, a new economic system that values people/nature/life. Saving the bees, the monarch butterflies, the polar bears. Saving the neighbor two houses over. The Great Turning is all around us.

So much potential for change-making. I won’t say “small scale change” because in this moment there is no small. It is all needed, every positive change, every hopeful moment. Plant a sunflower, that single flower brings a smile to someone = accomplishment, success, you’ve helped someone’s day.

AND you’ve offered one to the pollinators. AND you’ve done yourself a kindness by getting your fingers in the soil with all the self-care that connection brings. AND you’ve grown a piece of yourself that yearns to do more, be more, as a healing force in the world.

There is enormous power in small acts — yes, we have to start somewhere. Right now small is probably all most of us (me included) can manage. But “small” isn’t to be discounted — it contains far-reaching goodness.

What act (so-called “small,” or not) will you do today? This week? Tell me about it.

from Welcome, 2021

[ecmjoanne]

I garden on Kizh lands

The land where I have planted gardens is located on the bluffs above the area where there once was a village called Sa’Angna (1)(6)(7). To the best of my understanding, these lands were once part of the Kizh nation (pronounced Keech)(3).

When the Spanish colonized the area, they called the Kizh people the Kichireños, which meant “people of the willow houses”(3). The Spanish forced many of the existing people –and from my research it sounds like this included the Kizh– to relocate to the area around the San Gabriel mission, where they were enslaved to build the mission (3). Many people were folded together under the name Gabrieleño (a Spanish name, after the mission). With racist suppression and forced assimilation, including the forced use of Spanish and English rather than native languages, the name Kizh was mostly lost, even to many descendants.

From what I can understand, “Tongva” is a name that is embraced by scholars (5) and has only been in use for a few recent decades. Some ancestors of the Kizh people object to the name (3). However the State of California only recognizes the “Gabrieleño” designation (or “Gabrieleño/Tongva”?), and the U.S. federal government refuses to recognize even that. It sounds like Kizh descendants have a choice between embracing the “Gabrieleño/Tongva” names or losing what (little) official recognition they are granted under current law. Meanwhile it sounds like there is plenty of conflict between factions within the “Gabrieleño/Tongva” designation (8).

Since Kizh is the oldest of the names I could find, I’ll refer to that until I learn more, in order to do my best to honor the people who once lived in these lands.

(1) transliterated as “Engva” in some sources, such as: Villa, S. (n.d.). Map adapted from The Handbook of the Indians of California by Alfred Louis Kroeber, Smithsonian Institution, 1976. https://ift.tt/1TBVENt. Retrieved November 25, 2020, from https://ift.tt/2Ja9cSH May also have been transliterated as “Waachnga” in other sources, such as Marin, T. (2019, June 19). ArcGIS On-line Map showing Gabrielino/Tongva sites, tribal regions, and California Native landmarks. ArcGIS On-Line Map. https://ift.tt/3m6Hg0t which places a dropped pin on a slightly different spot than is described in other materials, citing Kroeber, Alfred (1976). Handbook of the Indians of California. Dover Publications. New York, N.Y. ; McCawley, William (1996). The First Angelenos: the Gabrielino Indians of Los Angeles. Malki Museum Press. Banning, CA. ; Reid, Hugo (1852). Los Angeles County Indians. Los Angeles Star 1(41)-2(11) 21 February-24 July. (Reprinted, The Indians of Los Angeles County: Hugo Reid’s Letters of 1852, edited and annotated by Robert F. Heizer. Southwest Museum, Los Angeles, 1968).

(3) Perez Tautimes Salas, E. (n.d.). Kizh Nation, Gabrieleño Band Of Mission Indians. Kizh Nation. Retrieved November 25, 2020, from https://ift.tt/2Jh6AlS

(4) Tribal history. (n.d.). Gabrieleno-Tongva Indian Tribe. Retrieved November 25, 2020, from https://ift.tt/3fByyFq

(5) for example: Anesi, J., Blackwell, M., Goeman, M., & Teeter, W. (2020, November 9). Mapping Indigenous LA. Mapping Indigenous LA. https://ift.tt/2aHKj9Y

(6) Curwen, S. G. A. T. (2019, May 9). Mapping the Tongva villages of L.A.’s past. Www.Latimes.Com. https://ift.tt/367UNzD

(7) ties Sa’Angna to archaeology site CA-LAN-62: Hardin, C., & Beseda, J. (2020, May 7). The Tongva. Santa Monica Bay Audubon Society Blog. https://ift.tt/2HApwf2

(8) ties Sa’Angna to Playa Vista area: May, J. (2004, June 30). Lawsuit Seeks to Stop LA Project after Remains of 300 Gabrieleno Tongva Found. IndianCountryToday.Com. https://ift.tt/2JccNA7

(9) seeking: Martell, Carrie Ann. Sa’angna: Tongva Perspectives on Development of the West Bluffs and Ballona Wetlands. University of California, Los Angeles, 2004. (available at UCLA library)

(10) seeking: Jurmain, Claudia K. O, my ancestor : recognition and renewal for the Gabrielino-Tongva people of the Los Angeles area. (available at LA Public library)

from I garden on Kizh lands

[ecmjoanne]

Word of the day: Liminality

“In anthropology, liminality (from the Latin word līmen, meaning “a threshold”) is the quality of ambiguity or disorientation that occurs in the middle stage of a rite of passage, when participants no longer hold their pre-ritual status but have not yet begun the transition to the status they will hold when the rite is complete. During a rite’s liminal stage, participants “stand at the threshold” between their previous way of structuring their identity, time, or community, and a new way, which completing the rite establishes.” – Wikipedia

When I stumbled upon this word this morning, I said: aha! we are in a sort of liminality right now.

To me, the word means something like the between space. No longer how we used to be, but not yet become that toward which we are headed.

The Liminality of 2020

Today, and perhaps all this week (and perhaps, although I hope not, all the way until late January 2021), we are in a sort of liminality with regards to U.S. election results. What will happen? is on everyone’s minds.

All this year, the dread 2020, we have been in a sort of liminality with respect to everyday life. There was life pre-covid, but for just about everyone, that’s pretty much gone, swept away, or at least changed. And, we hope, there will one day be a life post-covid — but we’re not there yet. We’re in the between times.

And in a much broader sense, humanity is in a sort of liminality with regards to this turning point in history, these years of incredibly transformative change. More on this in a moment.

Crash course in Liminality

As mainstream Americans, we have little training in liminality. Some other cultures experience it as part of their rituals, but it’s pretty much unheard of (or glossed over) in American culture. So we’re highly uncomfortable with the feeling of betweenness.

But in 2020, we’re getting a HUGE crash course in liminality. We’re learning to cope. With our banana breads and sourdough starters, knitting projects, and gardening. With our not-quite-real-homeschooling. With working-from-home, or working-in-fear-of-exposure. With distanced visits where we cannot hug, or with people who have thrown all that out the window.

People are coping how they can. (It’s useful to revisit Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ stages of grief — it explains a lot about the diversity of behavior you see out there)

The extreme Liminality of now

Joanna Macy offers an explanation of these times, which doesn’t use the word liminality but it sure could. Macy describes three stories for these times:

Business as usual

The Great Unravelling

The Great Turning

You can read Macy’s descriptions of them here.

Most of you who follow me probably already acknowledge that the “business as usual” times– with carbon emissions, excess consumerism, polluted water/air/soils, extractive capitalism, colonizing and oppressive practices, and humans distanced from the cycles of nature– need to go by the wayside. Yet there are many who still fight bitterly to hang onto business-as-usual patterns.

The Great Unravelling is clearly underway, with our frayed social and political fibers, a crumbling economy, and nature’s ecosystems buckling at the knees. Even as some people fight to conserve it, business-as-usual is in the process of falling apart.

The Great Turning is Macy’s term for the evolved future, or even for the process of evolving into that future. (Other people use it too, like David Korten, and at times Rob Hopkins.)

But through it all, there is this subtle thread of liminality. We are in the between times. We are not there yet. We are not where we once were, but we have not yet arrived.

Living in Liminality

Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote:

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

Today, this week, this month, this year is a time of liminality–a time to love the questions themselves.

So … I invite you to:

stay off the internet today. resist the urge to doomscroll

do something outdoors today (even if it’s just a moment outside between zoom obligations). see the sun, watch a bee, smell a flower

be kind to yourself, and to others around you. everyone you see is going through some version of this stuff, whether overtly or buried down deep.

from Word of the day: Liminality

[ecmjoanne]

My feed has always been about what we can do. With regards to the murder of George Floyd, the systemic racism that created and supports that, and the events of this week, there is plenty that we can do. Please join me in learning, in reaching beyond claiming "I'm not racist" to learn about the subtleties we project, to become anti-racist, to become true allies. Thank you @jane_mount who apparently polled her followers for suggestions. #Repost @jane_mount • • • • • • 📚 if you are overwhelmed, please don’t be!! start with one in the middle like Ijeoma Oluo’s So You Want to Talk About Race, Ibram X. Kendi’s How to Be an Antiracist, and Layla Saad’s Me and White Supremacy. If you are a young reader, the two outside leaning ones on the right are particularly for you (Tiffany Jewell’s This Book Is Anti-Racist and Kendi and Jason Reynold’s Stamped), but don’t feel limited! 📚 via Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CA3dhSYgKa7/

[ecmjoanne]

That's what it looks like just before massive bunches of #grapes form via Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CAd-lfpAvgb/

[ecmjoanne]

Late spring. #blueberries #strawberries and #roses #growyourownfood #organicgardening #growfoodnotlawns #homegrown #coronaquarantine #losangeles #resilience via Instagram https://instagr.am/p/B_-HwYYgqlr/

[ecmjoanne]

Excited! Harvest of badger flame beets from @row7seeds ... Backyard varmints thought they were tasty, so they only left me a few. Lunch should be delicious! via Instagram https://instagr.am/p/B_vFBRDg9LT/

[ecmjoanne]

It's #artichoke time! #growfoodnotlawns #homegrown #victorygarden #coronaquarantine via Instagram https://instagr.am/p/B_iXGMBgEDg/

[ecmjoanne]

A gray day in the garden, but somehow it makes the flowers look all that much brighter #californiapoppy #springflowers #losangeles #quarantinelife via Instagram https://instagr.am/p/B_F-8YmA2hq/

[ecmjoanne]

Although @foodforward has put a hold on backyard harvests due to social distancing, I'm still finding a way to get my grapefruits to those who need them ... A little at a time. Thanks to @azitabanu and #gardenathn #sharingfood #homegrown #fruit via Instagram https://instagr.am/p/B_Am3JgA0hF/

[ecmjoanne]

Snuggled in the crack in my stairs #springflowers via Instagram https://instagr.am/p/B--vnnRAr6B/

[ecmjoanne]

Deliciousness and gratitude #strawberry #resilience via Instagram https://ift.tt/2xkAwrv

[ecmjoanne]

What to do during virus lockdown

So we’re all in coronavirus lockdown, for an undefined period of time. What can we do, to keep from going crazy? What can we do, that soothes the nerves? What can we do to keep our minds occupied?

What can we do, to help us imagine the times that lie ahead, after we get out? What can we do about the devastated economy? What can we do to build the world we dream of?

Here are some ideas:

News sources:

Go on a news-diet. Quit checking the news. Just do it. Now. No matter what news source or social media platform is your go-to, quit checking it so often. It isn’t good for your mental health, your physical stress level, nor your outlook on how to build a new world in the aftermath. I use (free) app blockers on my phone and laptop that only allow me to see those sites for a scant few hours per day. That’s enough time to know what’s going on, what the latest advisories are, and you really don’t need more. Instead, get on with your real life …

Reading:

Permaculture titles such as: Gardening for the Future of the Earth, by Howard Yana-Shapiro; The Permaculture Home Garden, by Linda Woodrow.

Upbeat climate solutions such as: The Soil will Save Us, by Kristin Ohlson. Drawdown, edited by Paul Hawken.

Gardening books such as: Fresh Food from Small Spaces, By R J Ruppenthal. How to Grow More Vegetables Than You Ever Thought Possible, by John Jeavons. The Herbalist’s Garden, by Shatoiya de la Tour. Creating Sanctuary, by Jessi Bloom. The California Wildlife Habitat Garden, by Nancy Bauer.

Other Resilience-building books: Join me in reading Rob Hopkins’ From What Is to What If. the Toolbox for Sustainable City Living by Scott Kellogg and Stacy Pettigrew has plenty of ideas for low-impact and no-cost ways of meeting basic needs. The LATimes suggests we read about hygge. You can also work your way through the titles on the old Resilience Library that ECM used to maintain (while the physical library is now distributed elsewhere, the list of great books still remains).

Note that although LA Public Library is closed, they have a huge collection of ebooks that is still available for checkout.

If you are going to buy: Buy ebooks direct from small publishers, or buy physical books from those independent booksellers who are still shipping books. It’s so important to support small business in these times!

Culture, Film, and Entertainment:

Take a Permaculture course (list of free online Permaculture courses)

Environmental films available online: Awakening the Dreamer from Pachamama Alliance. (more coming soon)

Virtual tours of major museums

Virtual concerts and shows: Berlin Philharmonic. Various concerts and Broadway shows (summary list in article)

Old movies, and some audiobooks, are available for free via Hoopla — log in with your LA Public Library card.

Gardening:

There is no better time to start gardening, particularly growing food and herbs that you will use. Nurseries are considered “essential businesses,” so many are open during the lockdown. Nearly all the wonderful tiny seed companies that produce the good stuff (signers of the Safe Seed Pledge) are still open and shipping.

If you are living in an apartment or condo, see all the ideas in Fresh Food from Small Spaces, by R J Ruppenthal and The Edible Container Garden by Michael Guerra. Plus, I will soon make excerpts of my book When You Don’t Have Any Land available online.

Gardening gets you exercise and fresh air, and it feels productive. Correct that: it really is productive — at the end, you gain something you can eat. You have nurtured it, you have helped it grow. That sense of accomplishment is huge right now.

Gardened-goods can become “currency.” Many of the things I’ve been growing are useful for barter with people who can access things I can’t access right now.

Handcrafts and kitchen crafts:

Knitting, sewing, carpentry, physical projects that grow your resilience are a great thing to be doing right now. I’m knitting socks (we always need socks). And my husband is planning to build a Little Free Library out of scrap lumber he has around. If you need to buy supplies, for small mail-able items seek independent producers and small businesses online.

Fermentation: Live fermented foods are a probiotic and prebiotic, which builds the immune system. I’m working with sauerkraut recipes from Sandor Katz (we hosted him at ECM years back) — many recipes from his books have been copied all over the internet. I’m also going to try making a fruit “shrub,” which is an old fashioned way of preserving fruit in vinegar

Herbal tinctures: During the grocery frenzy, when some goods could not be found to purchase, I put up some nettles tincture. Now is a great time to learn this easy skill.

Exercise:

Get outdoors. This is a great time to explore natural spaces around us, walk on the beach, or simply walk in your neighborhood — all while keeping our 6foot spacing. You may actually see other humans you can exchange smiles with!

Bicycling. Go for a bike ride. The streets of LA are dreamland-empty right now, so it is a perfect time to do it! The bike itself helps preserve your 6foot spacing.

Yoga: LiveYogaWellness, located in Westchester next to the Community Garden at Holy Nativity, is offering most of their regular schedule online, including their super-low-cost community classes. Many other yoga studios are offering online content, plus there is plenty on YouTube

Many martial arts studios are putting classes online.

Suggestions from other change-makers:

Jeri is “going through belongings to ‘lighten up’…Spring cleaning sort of thing.” She also says “walking the neighborhood daily is a great respite from the indoors.”

Elizabeth is sewing face masks to donate to the medical profession. With supplies shortages, they’re greatly needed. Here are instructions. Here’s the pattern. Here are the fabric recommendations — cotton tshirts or pillowcases are recommended. Where to donate them? Phone non-emergency numbers at local hospitals, nursing homes, local police, fire, and ambulance companies. If they can’t take them, they probably know who needs them.

Linda recommends Insight Timer app (free on iphone and android) which has 24,000 meditations, many of them free.

Julian suggests organizing your recipes electronically using RecipeSage, a free recipe-storage app he created.

Hannah is participating in martial arts classes online.

I will continue to update this list as I discover more, so check back often. If you want to add your positive suggestions to the list, contact me. And, share this! Tell your friends to check https://ift.tt/3beSSc3

from What to do during virus lockdown

[ecmjoanne]

How to send Real Hugs

During social distancing, perhaps one of the most painful things is that your loved ones may be miles away, and it might be a long time before you see them to hug them in person. Here’s a solution: make a Hugger and mail it to the person you long to hug.

Choose yarn that is a bright, happy color. If you don’t have yarn, you can use string, or you can unwind fiber from an object you aren’t using, or you can cut a plastic bag into narrow strips and use that as “yarn.” (aka Plarn)

I unwound a piece of knitting that I wasn’t using

2. Select charms to attach to the two ends of your Hugger. I used crocheted hearts following a pattern like this. But you could use anything you choose, particularly something that is meaningful between you and the recipient.

These are what I used for charms

3. Using the yarn, create a crochet chain (with a hook or with your fingers) with a final length of approximately 4 feet. As you create that change, think about the person you will be sending hugs to: crochet love into that chain. Break off your yarn and pull the loose end through the final loop to end your chain.

4. Create the instruction notes. Consider handwriting it, because that usually feels more personal. Tie label “A” onto one end of your chain, and label “B” onto the other end. For the instruction document, you can write your own text, or you can use something like the text below:

Real hugs across the miles * Remove the Hugger from its packaging. * Hold end A in your right hand. Wrap the Hugger around the outside of your left shoulder, across your back, and around the outside of your right shoulder. * Grab end B with your left hand. Your wrists should be crossed in front of you. * Squeeze your crossed wrists into your chest. Think of the person who sent you the Hugger. Say “hug-hug-hug” out loud. * Repeat as often as necessary.

To share this experience with other friends, here is the link to the crafting instructions: https://ift.tt/2IZiPQO

My labels and instruction card

5. Use the two tails of the chain for attaching the charms and labels.

My finished Hugger with charms and labels tied to either end of the chain

6. Package your Hugger in USPS-approved packaging. Estimate how heavy the total package is. If you have a food scale, you can weigh it. If you don’t have a scale, you can estimate by comparing the weight to other packages you may have in your home, such as a bag of chips or pretzels that probably have the weight printed on them.

7. Use the USPS website to purchase postage. USPS should pick up this package from most residences without a problem. Send a Hugger to each person whom you long to hug.

from How to send Real Hugs

[ecmjoanne]

A great little graphic from @siskiyouseeds , a seed producing friend of up north who I met when we did a joint event with @seedlibraryofla One tiny difference for Los Angeles: kale would be for baby greens only, because planted this late it would not survive the.coming heat. I wrote about Los Angeles crossover #vegetablegarden season on my blog. Link in profile. #springvegetables #gardening #resilience via Instagram https://ift.tt/2WfLmt6

[ecmjoanne]

What I’m planting now, and why

Rain in Los Angeles – can you believe it? Looking to the upbeat, hopeful, future-oriented news, here’s what I’m planting now, and planning for the summer.

This past week, the rush on supermarkets was absolutely crazy. At this point, even the warehouses that back up all those supermarkets are likely emptied. That means the crunch is on at packaging and production levels — and who knows how many employees will be out sick, out taking care of family, and out for social distancing, all of which delays restocking. All that means we can totally expect to see higher food prices as people compete for the few remaining items, plus longer-term shortages.

I’m really glad my garden is packed with collards and chard right now, and boy do they like the rain! So in a bit I will have tons of that, plus grapefruits are dripping off my tree.

Right now, calendar-wise, we are at the change-over point in SoCalif seasons. The cool season crops — like my collards — are just completing, and once we get a spell of hot weather, most of those will be done. But it’s too soon for the summer crops — like tomatoes and peppers — they need it to be a bit warmer so as not to stunt their growth. So what are the crossover crops?

Arugula. This plant grows really quickly, it loves this time of year, cool and warm. You can succession-sow it (plant a little bit every few weeks to assure ongoing harvests). And as we get toward the end of April, if you seed it in the shade, you will probably have it deep into summer. Arugula can be eaten young and tender in a salad, or you can wilt it over pasta, so it has multiple uses, too.

Fava beans. We’re getting near the end of the planting window, but you can still put in another round, and they’ll yield for you. You can eat the growth tips as cooked greens, you can eat the finger-sized pods in their entirety, you can let the beans mature so that you get plump green fava beans, or you can let them dry out to get storage beans (or seed for next year).

Frisee-type chicories. These grow really well for me in my home garden. The pests that go after lettuce don’t seem to like them, so there’s more for me. I started with a chicory mix years ago, and the ones I continue to grow are the offspring of the survivors from that mix. I’ve read that you can cook them (I haven’t). I use them as salad greens instead of lettuce. They will continue into summer if planted in shade or filtered shade.

Leeks & green onions. You need it moist for them to sprout, so seeding in the rain is perfect. Plant them in the shade or filtered sun. If you let a few go to seed, you’ll have volunteers forever. (Volunteers = forever food, and isn’t that what we need right now?)

Chard. In coastal L.A. chard is nearly an all-season plant. It loves our cools season, but you can keep on planting it. If you plant toward the end of April, put it in the shade. Chard is a perfect substitute into any recipe that calls for “spinach.” Baby chard can also be eaten as a salad green.

Stay tuned for more about growing food in these crazy times. (you can subscribe to receive these posts in your email)

from What I’m planting now, and why

[ecmjoanne]

Life as you knew it has probably just changed

Let’s get real here. COVID-19 has us distanced from each other, protecting our own health, and worried for high-risk friends and family. COVID-19-driven shortages are jolting us into panic mode. The fabric of our lives is changing.

Meanwhile COVID-19 self-isolation means we aren’t patronizing our usual restaurants, shops, gathering places, and mom-and-pop businesses. Our beloved nonprofits will suffer. And the broader economy (that had been slowly falling apart for some time) now looks like it’s crashing. Together this means recovery from March 2020 will be a very long process. Life as you once knew it has changed — perhaps permanently.

Here are some things you can do.

This isn’t a fluffy list. It’s what I consider to be proactive, realistic, perhaps “conservative” (although that word now carries so much baggage). I don’t think these suggestions are wild or radical. And if you do them and nothing bad happens, your life is still that much richer.

Prep your family for the short term. See my previous post about right-now protection from COVID-19 and preparation for life under self-isolation or quarantine. If you read it before, I’ve updated it several times.

Prep your family for long-term recovery. Milkwood Permaculture has a rational post. Also turn to Rob Hopkins’ Transition Companion. I’ll be writing more in this vein as this crisis unfolds.

Acknowledge reality. You will grieve the old life you have lost. Become familiar with Kubler-Ross stages of grief. Many of us are in shock, denial, and anger right now. It’s an emotional roadmap: Understand the phases that lie ahead.

Prep for the worst case, too. Although statistics are still being generated about who gets hit hardest, the truth is we don’t really know. Put your affairs in order and encourage family and friends to do so too. Adequate legal paperwork is compassion for your next of kin. At a bare minimum, fill out the California Statutory Will. (pdf)

Plant your food garden now. Gardening is fresh air, sunshine, and low-exposure exercise. March and April are a great time to plant in Southern California. (Build your soil first!) (Here’s what to plant when) Gardening is stress relief, and when the plants grow they become food security. Because we’re probably going to need all the help we can get.

Phone people. Self-isolation can be isolating, people will get depressed. Phone people, every day. Do video calls if you know that technology. Help calm people’s fears, help guide them toward positive, realistic action. But above all, tell people you care about them. Say it, even if you don’t usually. Call aging parents, great-aunts, friends and relatives who are hunkered down in other geographies.

Consider the life we wish for. I haven’t yet read Rob Hopkins’ From What Is To What If: Unleashing the power of imagination to create the future we want. But it’s now on my reading list. (Want to join me and discuss it virtually?) As we rebuild, as we reassemble society post-COVID-19, let’s build the society we dream of living in.

If you must buy stuff, buy from small local businesses to support the livelihoods of local families (rather than Jeff Bezos). Buy your food as local as possible to support food production near where people live. Your buying dollars are a POWERFUL vote in a recession — vote for the world you wish to see emerging like a phoenix from the COVID-19 flames.

from Life as you knew it has probably just changed