Having the intense irritability, there are times I find myself not being able to focus, I see a mess that was not there a moment ago. Easily put on edge feeling angry. Crying all of the time over the most smallest thing’s. Feeling as if there is no time for myself. I yell at times & don’t even realize I am doing it. When I think about it, allowing myself time to rest allows things to stack up. I am realizing that it is normal to leave a mess be yes it may feel better once its clean yet it only lasts 5 mins. There’s the sleep disruptions either by my own doing, a crying baby, a snoring dad. The chest pain, crazy amounts of hair loss, teeth grinding, jaw pains, menstrual changes, lost sex drive, dizziness. I often have flashbacks of how I was treated as a kid which I have found to be the hardest to face yet I do it anyways. I don’t want to see the look I had as a kid in my childs eyes. The pain I felt as a child no longer serves me yet leaves the biggest imprint. Remember what it felt like to be yelled at or hit. I had to learn myself what it’s like to not be defined by the past. To learn what is right from wrong, to see who I want to be like vs who I do not. To pick myself up when I got knocked down. I had to learn who was protecting me vs who was harming me. I forget at times how far I’ve truly come. How I never gave up & continue to keep going. I write this today with tears of joy. I am finally at a place in my life where I am content, I am happy, I am smiling, I am grateful for all those who have helped me along the way whether we still are aligned or not. The point is we we’re, for a reason. Life is all about the perspective YOU choose to SEE. I choose to see the best in not only myself but everyone around me, at times that bite’s me in the butt yet I have learned that boundaries are a thing.
All these ailment’s are true to me yet do not define who I am. I know that these ailments will not last forever. There is more to me than just being a mom a friend a lover a nurturer a teacher.
All these ailments are happening due to the lack of time I chose to not put into myself. I would push it off & forget. You aren’t alone💫
I am allowed to use all 5 sense’s
I am allowed to place boundaries
I am allowed to feel & live through my emotions
I am allowed to be my most authentic self
I am allowed to do stuff I love to do
I am allowed to rest when the baby rests
I am allowed to eat the fruit’s or whatever it be
I am allowed to take my time healing
I am allowed to self indulge
I am willing to put in the work
amandla
turnnoffyourmind
kianamaiart
theartofmadeline
gracieabrams
vaporwave
2087