hello! we're the edelweiss crew, formerly known as homosexuals incorporated. we're a fictive-heavy system of at least 14, and we're excited to join the plural community (or, at least, draw a few nice comics!)
we're bodily a minor w/ EA heritage and we have adhd, autism, ocd and cptsd, as well as a whole host of other things (at least two professionally diagnosed, some not; i'll give you a cookie if you can guess which one)! so, please be patient!
if you don't know who's fronting, call us polaris and use they/them — also, do call us "headmates" and "system!"
uh. also. we'll try to keep this blog open for anyone to follow and comment and stuff, but due to all of us believing and supporting the existence of endogenic systems, we'd prefer if those who don't believe in endogenic systems don't follow or talk with us directly. please don't bring syscourse on non-syscourse posts please! we also block quite freely!
comics and art will be tagged with #edelcrew comics and #edelcrew art respectively, and general posts will be tagged with #[person] says, with [person] being the headmate(s) most responsible for the post!
please do send asks! but if you wanted to befriend us, we're not very active here, so it may be better to contact us via. our discord instead! (please do ask for our discord LOL. most of us don't want it hanging out in the tumblr where it can be seen by everyone.)
narcissists can be anyone. but have you ever considered you could be one, too? (cw for ableism. lots of it.)
(cw for suicidal thoughts and everything. this is a vent.)
i've always been a firm believer in narcissistic abuse.
i mean, i'm autistic, and i've been through a lot, y'know. it's only natural.
it gave me a place in the world. autistics are the natural enemy of narcissists. we're so highly sensitive! narcissists, the bad guys; our pattern-recognition abilities crack them open like a nutshell to a nutcracker!
narcissists were abusers. but i'm not an abuser. i don't insult people just 'cause i'm mad. i don't hit them. i don't take advantage of people. i always tried my best to communicate and set boundaries. even though i made mistakes (and i've made horrible, horrible decisions i will never forgive myself for,) i was not an abuser.
narcissists were loud-mouthed and grandiose. i hated myself. more than anything in the world. and every attempt i made to be proud of myself was shoved down by everyone around me, so i didn't even try. to me, being a narcissist, someone who had an ego so big it couldn't be penetrated, was the most disgusting thing a person could be.
narcissists could be anyone. but since i self-reflected often, and had a moral compass, i couldn't be a narcissist. narcissists don't self-reflect. they're not self-aware. and even if they were, they'd never want to change their ways. because they're evil.
so, if anyone ever worried about being a narcissist, they actually weren't, since narcissists were bad people inherently and don't ever care about stuff like being kind to others.
i diagnosed my parents are narcissists. i didn't know a single bit of what qualifies someone as one.
and then, i thought i had BPD, so i started doing research into cluster B disorders. it made sense. NPD causes BPD. because NPD was the bad disorder, and BPD was the good one.
but, i didn't have BPD.
as much as tried to deny it, i had NPD.
the bad disorder.
the awful, horrible one.
i was the abuser. the loud-mouthed spoiled brat i couldn't stand anyone around me being. i was the disgusting rotten child. the horrible one who couldn't be good like i was supposed to.
as much as i joke around about having NPD, when i learned i had it, it crushed me. i mean, i crashed right after. i got very close to making a plan to end it all that week (which, thankfully, i didn't act on.)
i mean, i turned out to be the very thing i hated all along. which... to be fair, there's worse things out there. but it was awful. my whole life, i'd been told to hate spoiled children. i mustn't be one, so i hated them instead. i fought all the bad thoughts, and, as such, i never actually got better, even though i looked like a good person. i just kept shaming.
we've been taking it with stride, but every day's just as hard as the last. maybe one day i'll get over it lol
in any case, seeing all the stigma on the internet about narcissists was part of the reason why i never figured it out. it's all disgusting stuff, if you look at it from our perspective. can you imagine always being called evil, unfixable? inherently rotten?
i mean, several of my headmates tried to drag me off while i was making it from just how pissed they were, but i felt it was needed to actually include all those articles. there's so much stigma out there. and it's really unnecessary, if you ask me. i mean, c'mon, man, it's a mental disorder. let's all do better about what are obviously mentally ill people, 'kay?
The post depicts a named character who is previously mentioned as being in recovery for undiscussed mental health issues. What is the intent behind the decision to use this format and mentioning these details as opposed to creating a merely descriptive post?
How do the character's emotions change throughout the post? Why does this change take place?
The second image depicts a series of excerpts. What is the common message of all these excerpts? What is the effect of these excerpts? What do these excerpts assume about people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
What are the sources of these excerpts? What may be the purpose of obtaining screenshots from such a wide variety and number of sources as opposed to a lower number of sources or simply using text?
show-starting disguise act (a.k.a. this horse that loves TV is not suspicious at all!)
was inspired by tenna really shittily pretending to be mayano top gun from umamusume when he first joined. he STILL does that act for fun and it's really entertaining every time lol
Man! Being a fictive that doesn't know source all that well is, like, Sure, I look like him, and I act sorta like him, but I'm not him! I have no source memories! Instead, I have the memories of some inanimate TV that got thrown away halfway through. I don't know this Spamton or Mike guy everyone keeps talking about, but I still have a game show and contestants!
I relate halfway to the struggles of you (non-specific) fictive folks, but, why! I can't help but feel alienated with how much of a FAKER I feel! I've source-separated enough that it's no longer an issue anymore, but, gee, it's weird to talk about source without having to say, "Oh, that's me! But it's not, but it IS and he LOOKS LIKE ME!!!"
My WONDERFUL CO-HOST especially likes looking up content about me and I LOVE that people LOVE TV, but, why, that charming, handsome, GROOVY "Tenna" isn't me!
much appreciation for people who create ocs that are clearly derivative of The Character because even if the inspiration is clear, they had the self awareness that their headcanons had snowballed so far past character analysis into pure self indulgence that there was very little of source material left. and that’s beautiful. sometimes when you’re preoccupied playing touys it’s hard to take a step back and realize you’ve actually created something wonderful and new
which is another reason why “this reminds me of The Character!” comments can be annoying because!! ok yes maybe there’s a connection, but appreciate what makes the oc unique!! don’t flatten the creator’s achievement to break away and explore on their own!!
hot take but can we please stop calling characters with abandonment issues yanderes. yanderes can have abandonment issues but abandonment issues don't make a yandere
hi chat. commission sheet bc lowkey whatever's wrong with my body is getting me and everyone irl really wants to force the notion that i am a perfectly abled person
i am disabled. commissions may take a while + be queued if i get a lot. but i will be working through them slowly on top of trying to get into jewelling for a chance at a livable wage job without making myself worse
ToS + contacts can be found here
Ko-fi link here if you wanted to donate
Carrd ver here + additional gallery examples
