Ed Galvez

My website The Fort Podcast My Live Show

[edgalvez]

My “Letter To The 2000′s”

On September 9th 2017, I was performing on the Cinder Block Comedy Festival in New York. I was booked on a super fun show called “Letters To the 2000′s” Hosted by Sarah Kennedy and Sarah Berk. Performers on the show were asked to write a letter to something from the 2000′s like Motorola Razr, The Saw Movies, 9/11 etc. The following is what I wrote for it.  Dear MySpace,

    It's been a long time. I hope this finds you happy. You look a lot different and I don't really understand what you are doing these days, but the same can be said for me lol. Although we strayed apart I want you to know I have always cherished our time together.

     You weren't my first. I met you when I was still with Friendster. Friendster was fine for who I was at the time but when you came around I was blown away by what we could be. When I first joined I was greeted by my new friend, Tom. He didn't know me but he didn't care. I was in a new place. A place for friends.

   See this was amazing. I could upload a whole 8 pictures. I can choose who are my top 8 friends are and let the internet know they are my top 8 friends. Sometimes this would be a bad thing when I was taken out of someone else's top 8 and would be crushed. I could add my favorite bands as friends! Nofx, Dropkick Murphy's and Rancid were my friends!

I was able to have my own headline. To let people know my personality from the get go. Mine read "Am I the only one that gets this fucking Joke." It was so clever because I was a comedian and also a reference to a Swingin' Utters" song so when people picked up on it we were instant friends.

You were better than friendster and even better than facebook because you allowed me to be me! I could change my background. I could put pictures in my interests instead of just writing my interests. Under influences I posted a .jpg of Fozzy Bear holding a banana as a phone. Classic!

You were not only a place for friends but you were my "totally acceptable for the time" website. You allowed me to upload audio tracks of me just doing okay, bad video of me performing in front of my friends and a loud bar and my calendar of show dates no one wanted to come to. I was not a regular friend on MySpace I had a "Myspace Comedy" page. Like real comedians like Dane Cook and Tila Tequila.

You were also crucial to my survival. In 2005 I had a weird 5 months where I could not hold down a job. I was so broke that there was a few times I had mustarddillas. If you don't know exotic foods its what I called mustard on a corn tortilla. Anyway being in the comedy world most of my friends were improvisors and comedians. Thanks to the bulletins every day I would see what shows had free beer and pizza or what person in the comedy community had a birthday I could crash. I lived on PBR, little ceaser's, chex mix and veggie trays almost every night. It wasn't the best but I got fed and drunk for free for those months. Thanks to you.

Everything has changed. Things aren't even that great with Facebook anymore. It's like Mark Zuckerberg isn't even there.

Snapchat and Instagram just want followers. They don't even want to be my friend.

I don't know what's going on with me and social media but I will always remember the one that took care of me when I needed it.

You Will Always be in my Top 8,

Love

Ed

[edgalvez]

I'm only posting this to inspire others to take care of each other.

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Some illuminati shit right here!

[edgalvez]

This Friday 8/21 10pm I'm recording my second album at The Acme Theater 135 N La Brea Ave., Los Angeles 90036 Tix $5 online or $10 at the door. W/ @arlocomedy & @davesirus www.AcmeComedy.com

[edgalvez]

City Stories take to the Silver Screen at the #NewUrbanism Film Festival! Support the fest! Buy Tickets! #nuff2015 http://thndr.it/1JGfe4g

[edgalvez]

The "Sinister" ghost is the baby of Jack White and Predator.

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(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kr7QpRwWcV8)

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Madonna did stand up on The Tonight show with Jimmy Fallon and channeled another great comedian

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Bradley Cooper played the same role twice last year!!!

[edgalvez]

5 Things You Didn't know about Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is upon us again this year. Some of us love it and others don’t but we can all agree that it is a part of our culture. Even though we have been celebrating it since we were filling envelopes with candy hearts in school, there is a lot we don’t know. Here are 6 of those things.

1) HALLMARK HOLIDAY? Valentine’s Day is not a Hallmark holiday created to sell cards and candy. Hallmark created its first card in 1931 and the first official Valentine’s Day was in 1537. Yet the “Fuck Valentine’s Day ” party has been celebrated by lonely women since 1369. Created by the Yellowtail wine company to sell more chardonnay.

2) MAN OF YOUR DREAMS Valentine’s Day was when you literally found the man of your dreams. In medieval times, women looking for a suitor come Valentine’s Day had an interesting tradition. So they could dream about their future spouses women would eat weird and spicy foods for a chance of seeing who they would marry. It worked! Who ever would listen to their dream the next day with out rolling his eyes was the one they would marry.

3) DIAL “L” FOR LOVE Alexander Graham Bell applied for the paten for the telephone on 2/14/1876. He then used the phone to make the first phone call at 2:15 am to ask “you up? Want to come over ?”

4) LOVE & CHOCOLATE IS LIKE NIRVANA! The heart shaped box of chocolates was invented by John Cadbury in 1822. After women started getting them delivered to their jobs and eating them in front of single women the term “EAT YOUR HEART OUT” was invented.

5) LET GO YOUR BOW! Cupid was believed to be the God of desire and love also known as Eros in Greek mythology, would shoot arrows in the eyes of lonely hearts and blind them to see no one else but their new lover. But historians actually discovered that the symbol of the cherub stemmed from the dark ages as a symbol of all the babies that passed due to all the morning after pills taken on February 15.

There you have it! Now you are a little bit smarter and can impress your friends with your new knowledge! Happy Valentine’s Day Everybody!

[edgalvez]

Umami Burger's logo is based on Steven Tyler's mouth.

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Tacky move Katy Perry! #SuperBowl

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Trailer for my movie "The Many Lives of Jovan Cornejo" w/ Steve Agee, Randall Park, Josh Fadem and Mike McCafferty. Directed by Ryan Nagata and co written By George Edelman. 

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And they say print is dead!

[edgalvez]

Thank you...

     Last night was bitter sweet for me. For almost 8 and a half years I have had the privledge and honor of running my show The Punk House at 1323-A 3rd Street Promenade. When it opened it was a barn called Westside Eclectic and now its a multi media club with a bar called M.I.'s Westside Comedy Theater. In that time I have been very fortunate in not only growing as a comedian but making some of the best friendships with people from all over the world. I got to work with some of my favorite comedians and watch some of my friends explode in the industry. I am still teaching at the theater and one of my favorite things is giving my students their first show that was not a bringer show and a chance for them to perform with great comics in a healthy environment. As much as the show means to me things change and you have to embrace the change and move forward to the next phase. Part of me feels dumb making a big deal about it but since I have been mentioning the end of the run I have been getting messages from people like this and it makes me feel good to know that it wasn't just me that it meant anything to. 

Through no ones fault there was a miscommunication and the last show was last night and not next week so that's why there was no final show bash, but it is for the best because it is not ending, it is just evolving to something new. I am truly greatful for my time running the show there.  

     I want to thank Sean Casey and the rest of Mission Improvable for letting me do it as long as I did there. Your support and patience with me means the world.  I want to thank the rotating cast of interns that put up with me frantically running around, sweating on everything and having to hear me talk about my dead mom again and again. I want to thank Jamie Flam & Marc Campbell for letting me start it back in 2006. Thank you to all the comedians, that have done it over the years. Thank You to the Punk House players past and present (Tia Ayers, Asterios Kokkinos, Kevin Ford, Meghan Parks, John Ford, Dave Sirus, Hana Michels, Mike Costantini, Phil Ranta, Doug Driesel Jr. Josh Meindertsma)  who make the show so much fun for me on special occasions. I also want to thank every one who has help make the fliers over the years. Olivia Hook, Doug Driesel Jr, Tia Ayers, Amy Shimoshige & Gary Musgrave.  Anyone who has ever come out to the alley on a late Wednesday night and had  $2 PBR or a free Caguama if you came in the early days. Also thank you for not pointing out the typos in this post. 

And Thank you for reading this. 

Your Pal

Ed Galvez

[edgalvez]

Tilda Swinton in Snowpiercer is Dieter and Linda Richmond at the same time.