I know I'm emo. It's Tumblr, bro.

"Donate to the poor"? Bro, I'm the poor!

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

"I don't need you."

"Yeah, you said that the first time you died too."

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

"You keep playing whack-a-mole with world's problems, instead understanding that what you need to do to stop the moles is break the machine."

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

New spin on the doppelganger "I have a gun, but which one is the real one" trope:

When the hot but stoic girl fights her evil identical twin and the guy she's been stuck with gets the gun and makes them say something only the real girl would know, she's ready to say "I love you", but the fake girl says it first and gets shot in a blink of an eye. The guy rushes to hug her, and says the real girl would never say something like that. The episode/chapter ends with a close-up shot of her shocked and troubled face.

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

"Be a good boy, or daddy will have to punish you."

- God, basically

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

"I gave you so much!"

"Except life and trauma? Name one thing that if you were to withold, I wouldn't be taken away by social care!"

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

"I killed you!"

"Didn't kill me hard enough."

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

"You look like the only way you can make a girl roll her eyes is by telling her about your interests."

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

"We need a new acronym. When you text me 'NSFW', I don't know if you mean 'Not Safe For Work', or 'Not Safe For World'."

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

"What a lovely family tree. Sure will make for fine kindling!"

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

I don't like it that 'motherfucker' only really works on guys. In these times of gender equality, I hereby propose the feminine version! Behold, the 'fathersucker'!

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

"Despite you, there is still magic in my mind and whimsy in my soul. Whether you tried or not."

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

The genie.

He grants you 3 wishes, has 3 rules, and hates 3 kinds of people: lawyers, politicians, and DnD homebrewers.

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

"Pray all you want. If there was a god, he would've already stopped me!"

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

Since apparently "autistic" is a bad word now, and something I can't call myself because of my parents (because god forbid their child isn't perfect), I hope we can collectively come together and change the official term to "mentally spicy".

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

"The problem with being an old soul is that your soul dies sooner than your body."

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

"I WILL fuck up, and you CANNOT stop me!"

[edgaralanpoewannabe]

"Why are you scared of me? Why are you scared of your full potential?"