all you conceal, let out: epilogue
story summary: After the death of Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, in his grief, takes off on a mission half-cocked to find a lost holocron on Jedha. The next thing he knows, he's waking up injured on a planet he's never seen before, surrounded by calm and an unsettling quiet. Then, after passing out again, he wakes up in a strange home, patched, clean, and safe. And his savior is someone he loved who he didn't think he'd ever see again. Will he be able to get back to his own universe, and does he even want to?
epilogue: Ben gets used to Anakin being gone. He hadn't expected it to be so difficult, though.
a/n: it's FINALLY COMPLETED. 🥲
↳ ch. 1, ch. 2, ch. 3, ch. 4, ch. 5
alternate universe travel • obikin • read on ao3 instead
Anakin was gone and had been for months now. It was really just as well — Ben couldn't keep him where he didn't even belong just because he wanted him to stay. Anakin's family and friends were undoubtedly worried sick about him, not to mention his status and rank in the Republic's war. Someone would surely be looking for such a man as he.
But Ben did miss him.
Even in the very short time Anakin had been in his life, he'd filled his home in ways Ben never could have imagined, and he'd come to care for him very deeply. Anakin felt like… an old friend. A brother. A spouse, a cousin, his closest confidant, all rolled into one. It was quite strange at first — Ben had never felt that with anyone in his entire life.
Of course, he could have never let on how familiar Anakin felt to him. He couldn't tell Anakin how brightly he shone, how overwhelming it was after not having that for much of his life. “The force” was what Anakin had called it. Ben liked that. Some stranger long ago had called it his “gift,” insinuating that he had been chosen by some force of nature — ‘special’ and singled out. But it never felt that way to him. It was a burden until he figured out a way to hide it.
Through the months of Anakin's absence, he thought a lot about what it must have been like to grow up with others like you, to learn from them, to feel safe with them, to live in that community. Sure, Ben was alright now, but it hadn't always been the case. However, if somehow he HAD managed to become part of that community, with Anakin there by his side… well, he knew how that ended now. So maybe not.
“Master Kenobi, I've finished cataloging these seeds, can I go home now?” A young Rodian boy called from the back porch where he sat with two other younglings.
Ben looked at the sun's position in the sky — it was very close to early evening, but not quite there yet. But he was feeling generous. He pushed his shovel into the ground and leaned against it as he wiped chilled sweat from his forehead. Days were much colder now than when Anakin had been there, and yet he still worked up a sweat in the chilly afternoons.
“Well, yes, I suppose you can,” he smiled gently. “And I'm sure your work is perfect, and there are no mistakes?” He raised an eyebrow.
The three younglings looked at each other, then the Rodian answered quickly — they knew that anything other than 'yes' would mean more time on the back porch. (At least, that's what they believed — but Ben wasn't a monster.)
“Of course, master!” The three of them popped up, ready to take off.
“Alright then, off you go,” he said. His face broke into a grin as they took off back towards their homes, waving and shouting their goodbyes.
And he was alone again for another evening.
It was fine. More than! He was used to it. However, now it wasn't always so easy to ignore that little nagging ache inside that just wouldn't go away, no matter what he did. He shivered slightly as he walked around the yard, picking up the day's tools and learning implements. He supposed he could use some help around here sometimes.
The food reserves inside his barn had built up fairly nicely. No one ever knew exactly what weather to anticipate in the cold season, but he'd be ready for whatever Stewjon decided to throw their way. He hoped. Then there sat that old landspeeder. Anakin had given him such a hard time about it, which still made him laugh whenever he thought about it. He'd never met anyone so offended by his transportation. Anakin never talked about what he had back at home, but Ben imagined it was some fancy, fast bike, judging by his harsh judgment of the old speeder. Anakin probably wouldn't have been caught dead in that landspeeder back on Coruscant.
Then Anakin had done him such a huge service by fixing it, and Ben would be forever grateful. Even if Anakin's methods ended up being slightly… questionable. Looking at the speeder now, Ben felt a simple longing that he didn't know what to do with.
Maybe he would go to the cantina for a drink this evening. If he started walking now, he'd make it before full darkness.
As he left the barn, he was surprised by how dark it had gotten — either the sun had gone faster than usual, or he'd been in the barn longer than he realized. Maybe he'd take the speeder after all or… maybe even just stay home. Ben latched the door, and when he turned around, he froze, staring at the figure standing in his field.
“Anakin.” The name slipped out gently and quietly. They were too far from each other; there was no way he would have heard it, but Anakin's face split into a wide grin.
He started walking towards the house, towards Anakin, not sure whether what he was seeing was even real. The man — or mirage — just stood there, smiling.
Anakin was alive, and he had returned.
When Ben got within 10 feet, he stopped, even though he was ready to burst from wanting to touch him, hug him, hold him.
“Anakin?”
“Yes.” Somehow his grin got even wider.
“You're here?”
“Yes.” Anakin took a step closer. Now Ben could see that he was breathing quickly, as if he'd run all the way there.
“You came back.”
Anakin took another step. “Don't I always?” Ben's heart was pounding in his chest. He supposed that was true.
“How did—”
“I went to the—”
They both started at the same time, then laughed.
Ben didn't actually need to know how Anakin had returned. He was here, and that was enough. He closed the gap between them, placed his hands on either side of Anakin's face, and kissed him. And kept kissing him. And Anakin kissed him back. This time, he opened himself to Anakin in the force, pouring his love and want into the kiss.
Anakin must have felt it because he gasped and pulled away. “You…that…”
Ben smiled and kissed him again, but gently this time. His lips were warm and tasted like… “Meiloorun fruit?” Ben asked suddenly. As if it mattered. They started laughing, and he kissed him again.
When they finally pulled away from each other, Anakin rested his forehead against Ben's cheek. He felt Ben's face pull into a smile.
“Did you miss me?” Ben asked, wrapping his arms around Anakin, pulling him close.
“No,” Anakin chuckled. “I was a very busy general, you know, I have other things to think about.”
Ben huffed a laugh. “Yes, of course.” But then it hit him… “Was?”
Anakin leaned back to look him in the eyes. “Was.”
“Does that mean—” Ben hesitated. What had Anakin given up? And did that mean he was here to stay?
“It means…” Anakin started with a sigh. “Well, it means I'm here to help you with your farm. If you'll have me.”
Ben slowly grinned. “Did you really need to ask?”
“Well, yes… I think I do.”
Ben wrapped his arm around Anakin's shoulders and directed him towards the house. “Come in then, I think we have lots to talk about.”
Having Anakin sitting at his small kitchen table once again felt like some miracle. He could feel the younger man's eyes follow him around the room, just like he had before.
He set the small plates of food down on the table, along with a hot tea. “I'm sorry, it's not much. I wasn't expecting guests.”
Anakin shook his head and smiled, “It's more than enough.”
They ate the late meal in silence. It mostly felt comfortable, as before, but the air between them felt slightly charged. Ben wondered if it was only he who felt it. Was it a good or bad tension, or something else entirely?
Ben took a long sip of his tea, letting it warm his insides. “Anakin…”
Anakin looked up, eyes suddenly wide and fearful. Ben would have laughed if it hadn't worried him a bit about how quickly Anakin became afraid.
“I'm happy you're here,” he said first, hoping to put the man at ease. That seemed to do the trick because Anakin's shoulders slumped. “But it’s been three months, and I just don't understand. I suppose I'm at a loss,” Ben continued. “How have you returned? You’re not from here, did you not say that? Did you make it to Coruscant? Didn’t anyone there help you return to your world?"
Anakin exhaled with a chuckle as he sat back. They stared at each other in silence for a few long moments. Ben had never given much thought to the saying, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder,’ except for this very moment in time. He missed the younger man more than he realized.
“That’s… so many questions,” Anakin said as he leaned forward. “I went to Coruscant with your friend.” Truth be told, Ben still didn't like the way he said that. “Then I made my way to the Jedi Temple, and that, well, that was a whole experience in itself, but to make a long story short—”
“I'd really like to hear the long version,” Ben interjected with a smile.
Anakin waved his hand dismissively. “And you shall, but maybe not my first night back?”
Ben chuckled — the story must be quite long indeed.
"They couldn't help me. Traveling between universes is impossible, right?" He eyed Ben, repeating something Ben had told him when he'd been here months ago. He still wasn't sure if it was possible, but… There was something about Anakin that made him believe. Ben waited for Anakin to continue, but he didn't.
“Well, that really is the short version," Ben said, sitting back in his chair. All that work and worry for… that? Anakin's behavior that entire week, procuring the transport, the confrontation in the hangar, not to mention Ben begging his friend Naar to take Anakin when Anakin clearly didn't like the man, and the debt Ben would owe him because of it. It was a lot to go through for the Jedi to say nothing could be done.
But still, despite the unsatisfactory answer, Anakin seemed happy and more well-adjusted than he had when he showed up dirty and hurt in Ben's field. He must have gotten some kind of good news on Coruscant — otherwise, what was this about?
Meanwhile, Ben had labored here alone, missing the stranger who had come into his life, convinced he would never see him again. He had made peace with it. How strange it was to have the man he had dreamt of every single night sitting at his kitchen table once more. He didn’t look any worse for wear at least.
Ben had also dreamt of every manner of things happening to Anakin while he was away — death in the war, death on his way back, figuring out how to return, and choosing to stay there or not being able to return. The thoughts plagued him. Ben had taken to meditating more frequently, like he'd done as a youngling, when he had truly learned what ‘the force’ was. He couldn't control his dreams, but he could control the way they made him feel. And he could control his acceptance of Anakin's fate regardless of what it was because he had no control whatsoever over it. He snapped out of his reverie when he felt gloved fingers squeeze his left hand on the table. He looked up to find Anakin smiling, but also looking concerned.
“You look about 12 parsecs away,” Anakin said.
Ben squeezed his hand back, but didn't let go. “I'm just trying to take this all in.” He studied Anakin's face, not sure what he was looking for, but just wanting to look. He looked the same, just… happier.
“I wanted to come back earlier,” Anakin started again, finally letting go of his hand. “I didn’t intend to take so long, to give you no indication of my whereabouts or plans.”
Ben shook his head, “I did not expect it. I never did.”
Anakin furrowed his brow. “You really thought I was just leaving you.”
“Of course I did. What was I supposed to think?”
Anakin straightened up, looking almost… offended. “I would have never—”
“Anakin,” Ben interrupted quickly. It was still strange how well he could feel the shift in Anakin's moods. Anakin sat back with a huff and let Ben continue. “You aren’t from here, you said it over and over. Maybe you found what you needed to return to ‘your world,’ or maybe your people on Coruscant wanted to keep you there, maybe they needed you, maybe you found the family you thought you’d miss—”
Anakin shook his head then got up and came to kneel next to Ben instead. He grabbed his right hand and held it and his wrist. He looked almost… wild.
“You’re my family, Ben, you need me.”
Ben chuckled, “Presumptuous…”
Anakin huffed and squeezed his hand, but then got quiet again. “I can’t return home.” Ben frowned. “And the Jedi… well, they did ask me to stay with them on Coruscant. They said I could make my home with them.”
“Then, Anakin, wh—”
“But you’re my home… Obi-Wan,” Anakin said gently, then kissed the back of Ben’s hand. It made Ben think of the moment he did the same to Anakin when he found him lying in the field. He had thought of that afternoon for a long time after Anakin left, wondering what he could have — and should have — done differently. Ben didn’t know what to say, nothing felt right.
“I’d like to stay with you, if you’ll let me,” Anakin finally added quietly and sheepishly, looking away.
“But you know I’m not—”
“I know,” Anakin cut in quickly, looking at him again. “I know you’re not him. I know. Yet, you’re so alike in many ways, but you’re also so different in others. And maybe you won’t believe me, but the heart of you is the same — I love you for who you are and who you aren’t.”
Ben looked at him, blinking. “You… you love me?”
"Oh," Anakin's cheeks tinged pink, clearly letting on to some secret he didn't mean to tell — yet. "Well, yes. Yes, I do. I'm sorry if that's… weird." He waited a few moments to speak again. Ben could feel his depth of feeling in the force — his fear, love, trepidation, embarrassment. Was the man always so decipherable? Did they not teach them to shield?
Ben started to say something but Anakin cut him off, the words tumbling out of his mouth quickly. "But it's more than okay if you don't feel the same!"
Anakin's blue eyes were dark in the low light of the kitchen. He looked at Ben like he was afraid he might disappear at any moment. He remembered then that Anakin had told him 'his' Obi-Wan had, in fact, died, not left the Jedi. Maybe that was still what he felt when he looked at him — that Ben, too would disappear at any moment.
Ben remained quiet, but that was clearly the wrong thing to do. Anakin let go of Ben's hand, stood, then began to pace the small kitchen.
"I knew this was a bad idea, she warned me…" Anakin mumbled to himself as he ran hands through his hair quickly. Ben stood.
"Anakin," he said gently as he stopped Anakin's pacing with a hand on his shoulder. The younger man turned to him, wide-eyed. Ben placed his hand on his cheek and Anakin leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. "Come sit with me a while. I think you've had too much excitement for one day. I still don't even know how you got here." Ben chuckled, and Anakin opened his eyes.
Anakin's shoulders slumped and he sighed. "Okay."
Ben took his hand, interlacing their fingers once again, as he had that afternoon when he drove him to the hangar, fully knowing then that he was removing Anakin from his life. He brought him into the main sitting room and they sat side-by-side on the sofa. The same sofa he had placed Anakin on that day he found the dirty stranger just lying in his field, like he'd fallen out of the sky. Which, Ben surmised, he might have actually done…
He kept Anakin's hand in his, stroking his fingers lightly until he could feel Anakin's own emotions settling down. Then an extraordinary thing happened — Anakin's breathing matched his own, slowing, calming. He felt Anakin press in closer and now not air or even a bit of light could pass between them where they sat. He was so warm. Ben had forgotten how warm he was, and he quite enjoyed it.
A long five minutes passed and Ben finally began again. "I am happy you're here." He squeezed Anakin's hand and the younger man looked over and smiled, but remained quiet this time. "But what have you left behind? Who? And for me? A no-one farmer in the middle of nowhere," Ben chuckled. "You've seen it, Anakin, it's nothing. Though I've never been to Coruscant, I know about it. How could you go from that to… this?"
Anakin tensed and sat up. Ben could tell he was about to argue, but Ben put up a finger and he sat back, pressing against him once more.
"I know you said you can't return, but that doesn't necessarily make me feel better. It makes me feel rather like you're stuck here."
Anakin sat forward again and turned to look at Ben. "Yes, I am stuck. For all intents and purposes, I am stuck. There's no way around it, and it won't do to just not be honest about it."
Ben raised his eyebrows. It felt like progress.
"But I couldn't be happier, Ben," Anakin said, finally squeezing Ben's hand.
"Because of me?"
"Because of you."
Ben let out a long breath. "Even though I… lied?" He gave a lopsided grin.
Anakin huffed a laugh. "Even though you lied." Anakin finally sat back again. "I don't know how I got here. The Jedi don't know how I got here, like you said, by all rights it should have been impossible. They did the best they could. We were in the Archives for days, Ben!"
Well, Ben didn't know what that meant, but it sounded tiring.
"And trust me," Anakin added. "If you knew the Archives, you would be impressed. Obi-Wan, my old master, wouldn't have even believed me if I had told him." Ben looked over and found Anakin smiling to himself. He was glad Anakin had happy memories of the man that he could cling to.
"Well, then I'll be impressed."
"I guess… I'm content as long as I haven't died and just living in a dream world I've created in my own mind," Anakin went on. "I could have quite literally ended up anywhere, with anyone, and yet somehow I ended up here with you. I feel like I've been given some kind of second chance." Ben turned and found Anakin watching him now. "I found someone I knew and loved, and yet someone I knew nothing about all at the same time."
"I just don't want you to regret—" Ben hesitated. He knew Anakin didn't exactly choose to be here, but he did choose to return to Stewjon and he did choose to come back to Ben's home.
"I won't—" Anakin attempted to cut in but Ben cut him off.
"I know you say that, Anakin, but I am not him. I can't ever be him."
Anakin pursed his lips and nodded. "I know, I know." They looked at each other for a few moments and Anakin spoke again. "Not that I wish for you to experience what I've gone through, but a part of me does wish you could see it from my perspective, see it fully. How easy it is to know you, to know what you'll say and do, to know exactly how you will make your caf, but then to also realize within the same breath that I don't know you at all and realize you are still a stranger. It's strange, it's so weird, Ben."
Ben rubbed his thumb across the back of Anakin's hand as he waited.
"And, on the other side of the coin, for you to not know ME at all," he said. Ben could tell that this is what hurt him the most. But if Anakin hadn't realized yet that Ben wanted to know him, then he wasn't exactly paying attention.
"So, all of that is to say," Anakin sighed. "I know you're not him, but please forgive me if I think it sometimes, or treat you as such, or hell, even accidentally slip up and call you 'Obi-Wan.'"
"Well, luckily for both of us, it IS my birth name," Ben chuckled.
Anakin laid his head on Ben's shoulder. It was a comforting thing. Ben smiled to himself thinking about how far they'd come from when Anakin had brandished the butter knife against him in this very room.
Ben waited before speaking again. "And you didn't want to stay with the Jedi? Your family? I'm sure it would have been quite easy to fall into step there. Not to mention we're still in the same galaxy — Coruscant and Stewjon are not so far away, it's not an insurmountable distance."
Anakin raised his head and poked Ben's cheek. "If I didn't know any better, I would think you're trying to get rid of me now."
Ben chuckled and Anakin followed shortly after. "The regret, Anakin… I don't want you to regret returning here, giving up the life you were meant to have."
"I won't, Ben." He said it so firmly and with such conviction that Ben believed him. He settled his head back down. "There is a comfort knowing the Jedi are in fact on Coruscant, rather than just not existing. Maybe one day we can travel there and you can meet them."
"I'd like that," Ben replied truthfully.
"Especially Ventress," Anakin chuckled to himself. Ben didn't know who Ventress was, but if Anakin said he needed to meet her or him, then he needed to meet them.
Nearly five minutes passed in silence. The room was dark now save for the single lamp that was on in the corner near the window. The world around them was quiet and still.
"Did you bring some clothes to sleep in or do you intend to always wear this," Ben finally asked as he gestured to Anakin's old tunics and trousers.
Anakin chuckled. "What makes you think I wear any clothes to bed?"
Ben went to stand but stopped to laugh when Anakin replied. He turned and looked down at the younger man. "Well, alright then, come on," he said and pulled Anakin's hand until he, too was standing.
They made their way to Ben's room. The room where Anakin slept every night as he healed, and the room where he and Ben finally came together. And here they were again. Would he dream of him again tonight even though he was lying next to him?
Ben washed up and changed for bed while Anakin removed everything except his trousers. Then they slipped into bed together and nestled in, Ben wrapping his arms tightly around Anakin and kissing his forehead. Anakin rubbed the tip of his nose against the hollow of Ben’s throat then kissed him gently.
After a while, Anakin spoke again. Ben thought sure he had fallen asleep.
"They gave me a small ship," he said quietly. His deep voice rumbled against Ben's chest.
"Hmm?"
"The Jedi. They gave me a small starfighter. It's…" he hesitated. Was it some memory resurfacing? Or maybe it was something Ben didn't really need to know. "It's a Delta-7 Aethersprite-class interceptor. In a deep red."
Ben laughed. Only Anakin would have given him such specific, unnecessary details about a ship.
"It's a near carbon-copy of the ship my master had before the war."
Ben opened his eyes. "Oh." Well, no wonder he would be so specific.
"I don't know who it belonged to here, maybe no one." Ben tightened his hold around Anakin. "But it's mine now. And yours, too."
It had been years since Ben had flown anything on his own. He wasn't entirely fond of flying, but Anakin didn't need to know. He'd probably give him a hard time about that, too.
"They gave me a few other things, as well as some credits, though they couldn't spare much. Master Windu—" Anakin hesitated again. Sometimes Ben wished he'd just say what he was thinking. They would deal with the corresponding emotions as they arose. "You would like him. You always did," he added quietly.
"Well, anyway, we can get my things in the morning, including the rest of my clothes," he said, his voice more sure now. Anakin leaned back and looked at him in the darkness. "That is, if you'll allow me to stay."
Ben's eyes had adjusted to the dark, so he could see the hesitation on Anakin's face, the fear of being rejected.
"You really did arrive on time because I was about to start interviews for help on the farm," Ben said.
Anakin's mouth fell open.
"You have some stiff competition though, I just thought you should know," Ben added, gently teasing the younger man. "Though I must say, your mechanical skillset and the fact that you own a fancy ship are certainly in your favor." Ben kept his face serious, trying his best not to break.
Finally, Anakin's face broke into a smile. "You're terrible."
Ben burst out laughing and pulled Anakin back into his arms, tucking his head under his chin so he wouldn't try to escape. He eventually felt Anakin shaking with laughter.
After a few minutes, they settled down again, and Anakin hooked a leg over Ben's, pulling him close. He leaned back so they were face to face, then kissed him, long and deep. While there was no heat or passion in it, there was a very deep love there that Ben was sure he could feel even without the force. It almost took his breath away.
After kissing him several more times, he held him close again.
"I'm thankful you returned to me safely," Ben said quietly.
"I always will."
