Consumed by Star Wars Feelings

Lumi | tracking #userlumi half serious blog, half-shitposting blog for my star wars feelings hell dump and my inability to take it seriously for more than five minutes at a time now with a side of teen wolf/sterek, heated rivalry/game changers, and dc/batfam also which is half-serious and half-shitposting, i try not to take anything too seriously here. unless it's about the jedi order and then i'll fight an internet war on their behalf. #TheJediWereRightAboutEverything 😜

[gffa]

My personal metric for fandom has always been this: If more than half of my time in a given space is complaining about the bullshit I'm subjecting myself to in said space, I'm out of there. I don't care if it's legitimate reasons for being angry about shit I see or if it's dumbass reasons, once the scales tip in favor of "I need to tell the internet how wrong they are" instead of "I'm finding my own fun to have", it is just not worth it anymore. It just isn't. That's the point I hit the bricks, I'm out and you will not see me again, because no made up fictional story or fannish experience is worth piling that much crap onto myself and I really think a some people in fandom could really stand to think about whether this whole shebang is worth it for them anymore.

[madrasaur]

bellboy mr shane hollander at your service!

[thisfeebleheart]

the way Shane looks at Ilya in Tampa insp. by @immovabletype's tags:

[gffa]

I’M CACKLING, LEGO STAR WARS IS CANON, YOU CAN’T DENY IT NOW.

SERIOUSLY:

SAD TWINK WHO NEEDS CONSTANT ATTENTION IN A GIANT ROBOT BODY VADER IS CANON, YOU CAN’T TAKE IT FROM ME.

[lexicanons]

Ilya’s doctor warns him that antidepressants often decrease sex drive but after eight weeks of taking the meds, the opposite has happened. His sex drive has dramatically increased. He’s horny all the time, and he’s constantly thinking about fucking Shane. It’s pretty much the only thing he thinks about. It’s the off-season, and they’re at the cottage, so he has mostly uninterrupted access to Shane and can fuck him around the clock, but he knows he can’t go on like this. They were having dinner with Yuna and David the other night and he almost bent Shane over the dining room table while his in-laws where in the kitchen. Ilya was horrified when he got hard from Shane placing a piece of garlic bread on his plate, and had to lie about being too full to move from the table so he had time to will his erection away before his in-laws saw it. He has to figure this out before the season starts or he might bend Shane over and fuck him in front of everyone in the locker room. He goes back to the doctor and tells them his symptoms, and they switch him to another medicine. Ilya tells Shane about the medication switch and he swears he sees a brief flash of disappointment on Shane’s face.

[cameoliob]

Drawing Kalluzeb to emotionally brace for the Mando & Grogu movie (my hopes are not high)

the chibi versions are tewwww cute tew cute

[shanehollandered]

ilya’s difference in approaching to fuck shane between ep 1 and ep 2 is really interesting to me. in ep 1 he’s urgent, he tells shane to get on his stomach, presumably to prep and then fuck him like this. he thinks shane is on the same page and wants it as much as ilya, and it feels like it’s an itch he needs to scratch more than anything else. he catches on that shane isn’t on the same page really quickly, though it’s not that shane doesn’t want to fuck, it’s that he doesn’t want to do it here. at the same time, i think ilya’s urgency and the way that penetration seems like such a no-brainer to him in that moment, does scare shane a little. it would be his first time having anal sex, of course he’s a little intimidated (for lack of a better word). it’s not necessarily in the show but in the book and from everything we know about him, there are internalized homophobic thoughts circling through his head for sure that make him tense up as well. but the thing is, ilya clocks his hesitation quickly and pivots accordingly, and we’re not really shown this to a full extent but he does make shane feel safe and seen.

and then in ep 2, shane keeps ilya at arm’s length for two years for reasons (fear, shame, guilt, you know, the shane hollander experience™) but when he finally does let ilya back in/allow himselfs to give in to his own desires, ilya’s approach to him changes. he’s been “aggressive” in his pursuit of shane but once they’re together, he softens. he remembers how anxious shane was, he’s coming off chasing and goading him for two years, and while he still teases shane and is his usual cocky self, which he knows shane is not put off by, he’s treating him with a lot more care. he let’s shane set the pace again and he checks in even before they start because this time, he doesn’t assume that they’re on the same page. he makes sure they are and it isn’t until he has confirmation does he start going further. and i think ilya takes his time prepping shane, probably more than he might have in nashville, and makes it his mission to make this experience as comfortable and pleasurable as possible for him, makes sure that he feels safe and seen and taken care of.

and this time, they start face to face. which arguably creates another layer of intimacy that possibly wouldn’t have been there in nashville. ilya repeatedly checking in might not just have been him being a good partner but also his understanding of shane and how he wants to ensure that he’s not assuming something again and might end up being wrong because he really does want shane to have a good experience, a safe and enjoyable first time.

it goes to show just how much thought he’s put into this this early on in their relationship and how much this informs shane’s perception of him. because as much as shane is masc4masc, jock4jock, hyper turned on by ilya being his hockey equal, im inclined to believe that if shane hadn’t felt (sexually, emotionally) safe with ilya, he wouldn’t have felt as attracted to him.

so yeah, ilya showing shane his true colours so early on is to me what sucking each other’s dicks is to hollanov.

[c-leadraw]

Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid

[lurkerdelima]

Shane & Ilya hanging out with Skip for unspecified reasons and the first time Kip teasingly says “girl!” to him about something, Shane just makes this face

[bedlund]

a 6 minute single take of shane's first time bottoming just exists in the universe and we have to live with that

[ujipm]

[cloudabserk]

[gffa]

Behind the Scenes of The Empire Strikes Back

[manhasetardis]

"It hurts to love. It's like giving yourself to be flayed and knowing that at any moment the other person may just walk off with your skin." - Susan Sontag

[sofiasketches]

Bed Bugs

[medrawawi]

ilya girl dad!!

[medrawawi]

📖...🐤