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@edithonthefreewayi80
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BART
EDITH ON THE FREEWAY I80
On Tumblr
The END
of
EDITH ON THE FREEWAY I80
EOF
A worm is irony.
<html><json>
Tanglefoot
</json></html>
Pick them up.
I am not defective. Put down your fucking weapons!
🇺🇲♿️KING'S RETREAT
🇺🇲♿️KING'S RETREAT 🐅
ffbb51ed970f102f3699c86cd442a33588516741
EDITH ON THE FREEWAY I80
🕐
EDITH ON THE FREEWAY I80
ELEVENTH CHAPTER
We took the BART. Bay Area Bae Transit. Out of the city. To southern California. The herd first went to Richmond, on accident, then hoofed it after us.
"Let's see what's NOW, yet again," I said.
MONTAGE
Parody: MGK
Bad Motherf***er
feat Kid Rock
On the line platoon what do I see
Lines of men with silver Jump Wings
Whether all balls or brains
With Buffalo Bill
They lie about things
Just tryin' to be free
Old ass Batman needs a boyfriend Robin's Paul Dini At land's end
Colussus of Rhodes on the lawn again
Always solve society with it our with our its Ills
Macy's greeting Woolsworth with a hand in the till
Wearing Honey Badger and minx irradiate with the fur
Motherfucker
Couple Js in the ash tray, style motherfucker
Take a bath in the champagne, wild motherfucker
I am the kind of motherfucker eats beef starting only at the teats
Thrash a rainforest just for the leeks
Two equine next to each the species of oxen take Zebu on the beach
Not get Blacklisted
Beat Bloodhound Gang in Sribbage
That's the Tenured Professor never audits never teaches
Made out of wax never speaks
Like the Navy SEAL in the air will never see the beach
Hears no greeen light whistles politely until tea
I am the polital mascot with the teeth
Always submit to and or with all those
And present and to any savage beast
On the line platoon what do I see
Lines of men with Jump Wings
Whether all balls or brains
They lie about things
I wake up to lazers in Contra catch
Float to catch lime disease call it Super C
Eunice dial tone won't leave me alone
it is persistent
I'll Request a manager or Eunice's assistant
The thought on my my mind is always pleasant
Cornish game hens with mushrooms wild pheasant
"Under The Dome"
Hustlin' beaver bifurcated outside his home
EPA eminent domain leave those bees alone
Federal officers need a taste
You know I ain't trucking until
Woodpeckers and blunderbbusses
Are locked down tight good all over the place
Apollonia
It's all Greek to me ob your knees
From to sea to coast to shining sea
Crowns dentures wooden teeth put 'em in yeah Bart Simpson at the carnival yeah
Osprey hydralic fluid leak
ZZ Top on the Squeeze box Dr. Demento as meteor man taser shock
G Damn Yankee's Bonestripper mercy pleas
Play Mousetrap inherit the Planet Earth meek
White shark trumps an Orca
Or that bifuricated beaver in a two-piece
Hell Yeah Go
Copilot
COPILOT
I’m a duct‑tape, paint‑scrape Sailor Officer in the sea lane
Couple screws in my pocket, wild home improver pineapple
Hammer in my hand, man, I don’t use brains
Took a bath in the juice Crown Apple
Straight from the stations, dawg, dodging sparks walking to the store
Dollar for a bolt I lost, proud rail moved
Blew up the microwave trying to fix the clock
Now I’m top floor, yelling dude I see Neptune in the daylight
Here the President's own in the daylight
Nothing unbecoming let's see what's Amore
Only number blowing up my phone
Is from Home Depot, swear they never leave me alone
’Cause they know when I pick up, I’ma buy another cone
Of paint I don’t need for a room I don’t own
I be keeping tools in the horse foam, yeah
Screwdriver
Gold trim on the pliers
Keep ’em on me
I be rolling foam, see?
I should be on the cover with my middle finger
Screaming
END MONTAGE
EDITH ON THE FREEWAY I80
TENTH CHAPTER
LAST TIME ON EDITH ON THE FREEWAY I80
"Aren't you carnivores .."
CUE MUSICAL SCORE
MONTAGE
Bass solo from theme song to the television program "CHiPs," performed by titular musicians.
END MONTAGE
DIRECTED BY BOY GEORGE AND SAM MCAFFE
"Dear Citizen," read the letter, which I muttered out loud at home while eating candies from a dish on top of a moderately dangerous turtle.
"Due to your emergency intervention, in the event another device explodes, your living order in which you are memorialized, paid for by a Private City, will be you 'slam-dunking,' as in, a hand to rim Warriors two-point field goal of the previous explosive device, in statue, marble 20 feet high.
"The City, County, and Twitter Precincts of San Francisco."
This meant three things.
If another bomb does go off, they will happily lay me to rest.
People would forever think I blew up the city.
Those same people would be sure I really loved Air Jordans.
Far away, Edith wondered how I was doing and if we have any Bullseye, Edith.
"I'm home! Let's find out who the herd belongs to." it was outside.
"Probably whoever used their fast pass," I said.
"Then, since there are no cowboys, I say we see the World's fattest diplomat at UN Plaza."
"The Mallfather. He might be buying."