blake kathryn
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
#extradirty
ellievsbear
Origami Around
Product Placement
Show & Tell
Discoholic 🪩
styofa doing anything
noise dept.
izzy's playlists!
Today's Document
JBB: An Artblog!
YOU ARE THE REASON
⁂
taylor price
sheepfilms
Claire Keane
Not today Justin
if i look back, i am lost
seen from Iraq
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Netherlands
seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Kazakhstan
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from Italy
seen from Tunisia
seen from Egypt
seen from United States
seen from Chile
seen from United States
@ednostic
Do it for the..
“You got skinny!”
“Wow I can fit my hand all the way around your wrist”
Jealous stares
Size XXS and 00
“You can sit on my lap since you’re obviously the lightest”
Beautiful in anything
“You’re so light!”
“I’ll give you a piggyback ride”
Confidence in dressing rooms
Bikini body
Dainty wrists
Hip bones
Collarbones that dip for days
Slender legs
Thigh gaps
“You look like a model!”
“How did you do it?”
ability to feel confident in your own skin
unfortunately i could never be nonchalant because i am not well in the head and also my soul is on fire
I don't know how to fix it, but I surely can shatter anything. that exist, maybe even something that do not.
I get this heavy feeling, in my chest, as if it is sinking into a void that isnt there but felt. I feel empty, always has been, And I think always will be.
I was happy, then I became sad in an instant. When I am happy i forget everything else, neglect people. I dont know what to feel, everything is just so heavy. I'm mad at myself and i reflect it banck to the people around me. Sorry ma, you dont deserve me as a child, no one deserves me, as a friend nor someone special. No one deserves me bcause everyone around me suffers for the things I do. I am ungrateful, clumsy, I have nothing to be proud about, I am not someone that should be cared and treasured. I am the embodiment of disappointment and shame.
speaking ill of me whenever I have someone I love, I don't know where that's from.
My friend called me out recently, because of a joke I made when she was trying to announce something, I admit it was my fault, I caused her pain, "usog" is the exact word she said, its like a jinx. I felt guilty of course, I am too comfortable, If only I knew she was about to announce something important, I ddnt knew that that joke will come off as something bad or a jinx, I never wished to harm her or intend to give such an impression. but the exchange is painful, Its painful because I feel like I am being stupid again, I felt stupid lately. Someone said I'm just focusing on increasing my Eq and not my Iq, it hit me the first time i heard it, and it never left my brain. I don't know why i increase my eq, maybe I raised it too much that i am literally becoming stupid, maybe that's why I failed my subjects, because I am interested in the wrong things, it hurt but what can I do, I feel like he's saying the truth. Im stupid, I am stupid in academics, I am stupid I cannot even be a proper friend. After that happened i keep thinking, I am becoming too much again, I said sorry of course, I received no reply, what do i expect Im a stupid friend, I am not a good friend because I still want to justify what i did, I didn't know she didn't like the joke, we always joke around like that, we speak foul as a joke, she speak foul to me, she did foul things to me, she speak things about things I am happy about and say foul things about it, yet I never speak up, I accepted it as a joke, for years I laughed, Laughed at myself, accepted every foul jokes about me, and I still tried and forced myself not to feel bad about it, that it's just a joke, then she said I don't want negative people around me, a part of me feel off after reading that, If she knew what I felt all those years, To hear herself talk to me, be me and listen to her words, she'd cry and cut off herself. I admit but I want to justify, but I only seem defensive. I no longer want this in my life, Its hard. I don't know how to feel or should i feel at all.
my god, there is never any time to recover from the world
Been feeling so empty lately
is this the result of ignoring my feelings for so long I can no longer properly feel sadness and anger.
I think I can feel it, because I know what the feeling is, but I don't no know how to express it, what to do with it, how I should act, maybe because I've always felt like I always need to be strong, I need to show that I'm strong, or else everything will come crumbling down.
Now I feel like when I am about to feel sad or mad, my mind just shutdown the feeling, leaving me with nothing, nothing to feel because my brain threw it in a bin to rot. Is it a way to cope, to protect myself from being who I was, what I used to do, from feeling guilty because I cant hold myself together and making the people around me worry, and now I am becoming a burden again, Im supposed to be the person who you'd worry about last or shouldn't at all, I'm making the people around me suffer once again.
A letter to self from the past
Go
I will pray to whoever that could hear my pleas,
may it be the heavens or the demons in hell,
A trade to take what I have in exchange of my everything,
my beloved and my only, the treasure I keep, the air that i breathe.
I stared deep within the dark corners of the room where she kept herself prison
The walls filled with scars that used to bleed dried out and remained to stain
I stood behind the mirror, in the other side of what was and will never be
The room that should've never existed yet remained
Seing not her but the shadow repeat how she weep and dance with knives.
the walls spoke although it has no mouth to make a sound,
It has no eyes, no ears, no brain yet it saw, heard and remember everything.
I dont like how I keep finding things that reminds me of people yet do not want to throw it away. I hate how I get fkn teary, feeling all the emotions coming back to me, pain, anger, love, hatred, disgust, care, and all these mixed feelings I dont understand, I dont know if I miss it or I am simply reminded of them, of the memory and all the shitty things that happened. All i wanted to feel for them is anger, that whenever their names are said I only remember them but do not feel. All these years I've mastered ignoring, avoiding, and completely making myself numb, I didn't practice, i just become it. Maybe this too will pass, like all the other, but i cannot help but feel the anger and pain they've caused me because they always betray me. I dont like feeling.
Saw this on X/Twitter never related more in my life 💀
