[edsverybadthings]

cowboys & cowgirls.

This is a special one-off because of those ridiculously sexy photos Ed posted on Instagram earlier, one of which he was nearly naked in. I mean, that was just plain cruel. 

the photos in question.

_______

Ed’s label had been contacted by another singer’s team asking if he could fill in for the aforementioned singer as he had to pull out of a headlining gig, at the last minute, at a festival. Even though Ed hadn’t toured or played a full, proper set since his x tour had completed it’s run, and even though he was elbows deep in laying down tracks for his new album, the singer who found himself in a bind had been a good friend for years now, and Ed wanted to help him out.

Luckily it fell on a three day weekend. The same weekend that his main producer, who was basically running most of the tracks on the upcoming album, was scheduled to be out of town, relieving a lot of the pressure for Ed and he felt even better bailing out his friend and arranging everything so that he could fill in.

And that’s how you found yourself sitting next to your boyfriend on a plane to Texas at Way Too Early O'Clock in the morning. The driver had picked you guys up from Ed’s hotel at 4am to make the 6am flight.

Normally, you wouldn’t have taken such an early flight, but a friend of Ed’s was actually playing the festival too, and was going to be in town the entire weekend and had a house rented - or owned, you weren’t exactly clear on all the details. The friend was having a party on Friday during the day to celebrate his birthday, so even though Ed didn’t need to be in town until Saturday morning to sound check for the festival later that day, he wanted to make the extra effort and get there early enough to attend the party.

In fact, it was going to be a surprise for his friend; he only expected to see Ed the following day at the gig. Ed was pretty damn excited to be able to surprise his friend like this, and also to get an extra day to devour as much Texas barbeque as he possibly could.

It’s a three hour flight into Dallas and currently Ed’s head is resting upon your shoulder, and you can hear him snoring softly. He’d had a fair amount of trouble sleeping last night and was extra tired, so you let him doze as you read your book.

When the plane lands, it’s a bit bumpy and that’s what succeeds in waking him. He straightens up in his seat, rubs his eyes like a child after his afternoon nap, looks at you a bit fuzzily and says, “We here already?”

You smile at him sweetly. He looks so vulnerable when he wakes up, all covered in remnants of sleep and dreams. You lean forward, kiss him softly on the cheek, and reply, “Yep. We’re here.”

“Wow. Can’t believe I slept the whole way.”

“You needed it.”

He leans his head back onto your shoulder and then tilts it upwards to give you a kiss on your neck, just under your ear. “Thanks for being my pillow.”

_

The car drops you off at the hotel and after checking in, you’re shown to your suite. Ed looks  worse for the wear and you suggest he climb into bed and catch a few more hours of shuteye since you don’t need to head off to the party until noon.

“Tuck me in?” he asks, giving you a lazy grin.

You smile, shaking your head at him, and walk over to the bed. He meets you there and wraps his arms around you, holding you tightly.

You step back slightly after several moments and say, “Here, let me help you.”

You unbutton his shirt, and peel it off his shoulders, then start to make work of his belt and jeans. As you’re doing this, he starts pawing at the hem of your top, trying to get you out of that as well.

“Hey, hey.” You take his hands in yours and kiss him briefly on the lips. “You’re supposed to be taking a nap, mister. Not trying to get me in bed.”

He looks at you with a little boy grin and asks, “Can’t I do both?” You can actually hear the pout in his words.

“Nope.” You push him down onto the bed, his back landing on a thick, white duvet that seems to be stuffed to the brim, making it appear fluffier than any other cover you’ve seen. “You can have me later. Right now, you need to sleep.”

“‘Kay, but you’re napping with me, right?” He’s staring up at you with puppy dog eyes. “Can’t sleep without you.”

This is patently untrue, but you decide to indulge him. You lean down to peel off your leggings and then do that thing that girls are so skilled at: unhook your bra and wrestle it off of your limbs and out, without ever taking your t shirt off. Ed looks duly impressed.

You climb in behind him and snuggle your body up against his, your back molding around his, your arms snaking around his middle as his arms come down to cover yours. You bury your face in his hair and inhale his scent. You exhale loudly and kiss his shoulder once, twice and then close your eyes. You listen as his breathing evens out and debate whether or not to get up and go for a walk but before you can get further than that, sleep has reached up and taken ahold of you as well.

_

“Are you sure I don’t look absolutely ridiculous?” Your brow is furrowed as you look at Ed, sitting across the seat from you.

You’re being driven to Ed’s friend’s house, both of you in the backseat of an SUV limo that the hotel had provided. Normally Ed hates riding in limos and will do all the he can to avoid it, but because of the festival, the hotel had leant out all the other towncars and SUVs and you guys were stuck with a rather ostentatious, oversized limo. It’s luxe and ridiculously comfortable, but you could tell he was a little apprehensive about rocking up to the party in such a showy vehicle.

He turns to you and gives you a once over, taking your outfit in, about to reply to your question.

You’ve got on tiny denim cutoffs, a clingy white tank top and a pair of little tan suede booties on. But what’s got you questioning the whole ensemble is what’s atop your head and that’s a cowboy hat. An honest-to-goodness, down home, country cowboy hat. Is that redundant? A country cowboy hat? At any rate, you’re not the only one who’s got a cowboy hat on. Your ginger companion is sporting one nearly identical to yours.

You guys wanted to fit in with the whole Texas vibe and brought clothes that had, while not straight-out-of-a-Western vibe, but certainly a country feel to them. Your booties are definitely little cowboy boots that, when paired with the jean cutoffs, certainly transforms you into a Daisy Duke sort of girl and Ed is wearing a red plaid shirt, a bit different from the rest of his plaid button downs.

This one has mother of pearl snaps in place of buttons and when paired with his cowboy hat, which is larger than yours, he looks like a regular ranch hand. Or at least, what you picture a ranch hand looking like. There is definitely a Brokeback Mountain sort of feel going on and you won’t exactly mind if there’s an Ennis at the party that he can’t quit (boys kissing boys will always be sexy to you).

No, but seriously, Ed looks fucking hot in his gear. You’ve never been the kind of girl to go for the cowboy necessarily, but you’re beginning to change your mind…

“No, in fact…” Ed drags his eyes over your face, then down your torso and lingers on your legs, one crossed over the other. He slides his hand in between your thighs and digs his fingers in between so that his hand covers as much skin as possible. “I was actually wondering if we had enough time to pull over so I could get my hands on you.“

He slides his hand further in between your thighs and starts to wedge them apart. His other hand finds it’s way to your legs and aids in the process and before you know it, you’re spread eagled and Ed’s on the floor in front of you, kneeling between your legs. He comes up quickly to kiss your neck, taking a fistful of hair into his hand and pulls your head backwards, allowing him better access to the delicate skin. His hat goes tumbling off his head, backwards onto the floor of the car next to him as your hands reach into his hair and tug his head up, pulling his mouth to yours. You slide your tongue in next to his and sigh inwardly at the feel of his lips and soft tongue. Jesus, talk about 0-10 in no second flat. What this boy does to you.

You feel hands crawling up your tank top, pulling it out, seeking out your flesh and then you’re pulling at the snaps on his shirt, desperate to get your hands onto his skin as well, breaking the kiss to nuzzle your head into his neck and then onto his chest, biting and pulling at him with your teeth. Oh, god, he smells so fucking good.

Wait. Wait. You grab hold of his lapels and steady yourself, simultaneously keeping him in place. You straighten up, shake you head a bit and look into his questioning eyes.

“We can’t do this now,” you tell him, slightly out of breath. “We’re almost there and…”

You’re interrupted by a persistent mouth bearing down on yours, a tongue like velvet that finds it’s way into your mouth, then onto your neck again, a hand on your face, one of his fingers into your mouth. His other hand working fast, tugging up your tank top and then pulling down your bra. And then that mouth, the hot breath and perfect pink lips are poised right over your nipple, readying to take it hostage and with every ounce of willpower you have, you put your hand on his chest and gently push him back.

“Ed.” You’re legitimately starting to pant now. “Baby, come on. Don’t make me be the bad guy.”

He exhales loudly, hanging his head a little. He shuts his eyes for a moment and then pulls himself together and comes up between your legs once more to give you a quick peck on your lips.

“You’re right. Thank you.” He sits back down next to you, adjusts himself through his jeans and then takes your hand. “That would be a dick move.”

He looks over at you, brings his hand up to his mouth and kisses yours, the one snuggled into his palm and says, “You just look so fucking good in that.”

“You think I am not aware of this… this Cowboy Effect??” you ask incredulously. Your eyes are wide, staring at him, taking him in. “Have you seen yourself? You look unreal hot in that shirt and that hat.”

You lean down to pick up his hat and place it back atop his head. And then an idea dawns. You grab your bag and dig around until you locate your cell phone. Pulling it out, you quickly flick up the little camera icon and turn to Ed and tell him, “Say cheese.”

Instead, he lowers his chin a notch and looks up at you slightly with hooded eyes, the cowboy hat dipping down a bit, his head tilting to the right a touch. Fucking hell, he looks sexy. You quickly snap a pic.

“You are wearing this later when I have my way with you,” you say emphatically.

“Not if I have my way with you first…” He’s leering at you and you feel the lust spike in your bloodstream again. Dear christ, you want this man. There is never a moment that you do not want him, but my god, he looks hot right now.  “Those shorts are going to be the death of me,” he says with resignation.

The car comes to a stop then and you realize that you’ve arrived at your destination. You toss Ed a sly grin and climb out of the car, going super slowly so that he’s got ample time to watch your ass, clad in the super short cutoffs that he’s been admiring.

All of a sudden you feel a swift spank across your bottom. “Hey!” You turn back around to see him grinning impishly at you. You roll your eyes at him good-naturedly and hop down out of the limo.

Ed grabs the box of liquor that you guys stopped to get out of the trunk. It’s got tequila, vodka, Jägermeister, and all sorts of stuff to mix with inside. You guys saunter up the walkway, clad in your matching cowboy-ish ensembles and Ed switches the box to one hand so he can hold yours.

He rings the doorbell and not even twenty seconds later the door is swung open and a tall guy with short black hair and gorgeous coffee-colored skin stands before you. His eyes go super wide and his faces lights up with a gigantic smile. He practically jumps on Ed and buries him in a huge bear hug, shouting “Yo! Yo! What are you doing here? What? What is going on?”

His voice is full of delight and surprise and so deeply filled with affection and you can’t help but get a contact love high just standing next to them. Ed has wrapped his arms around him tightly and they’re nearly dancing while hugging. It’s a sight to behold, two guys who clearly adore each other and are so damn happy to see one another. Your smile is probably as big as theirs are.

Finally they break apart and Ed reaches out to lace an arm around you, his hand coming to rest on the side of your waist. “Miles, I want you to meet my girlfriend.”

And before Ed can even finish the sentence, you’re enveloped in a huge hug and you’re being lifted off the ground and you make a little whooping sound mixed with a laugh because you’re so caught off guard, but dammit if this guy isn’t seventeen shades of awesome.

“Hi! It’s so good to meet you! I’m Miles.” His enthusiasm is unrelenting and there’s just nothing but happiness flowing out from him and both you and Ed are wearing matching giant grins.

“Hi! I’m so happy to meet you, too. Ed’s told me so much about you and thank you for having us!”

“Come in, come in! Follow me.” He begins to lead the way, but then turns back around to scoop Ed into one more hug and then he takes the box of booze from him and says, reprimandingly “you didn’t have to do this.”

There’s a beat. Then Miles turns to you.

“Yes, he did,” he says to you, with a wink.

Ed mumbles something about Miles being a wanker and he pulls you into him as you walk into the house and he’s beaming. You’re so very, very happy you guys came. You haven’t seen Ed around any of his truly close friends and there is so much love and camaraderie and loveliness that it just fills you with happiness seeing him this way.

“I can’t believe you came, man! I had no idea!” Miles is striding into the kitchen, calling out over his shoulder and then setting the box on top of the tiled counter. He opens cabinet to his right and proceeds to pull out three lowball glasses followed by three shot glasses. He lines the counter with all six, the shot glasses in front.

“Wanted to surprise you, mate.” Ed is leaning against the other counter, watching his friend. “It’s been over a year, right?”

“Easily,” Miles replies, rooting around the box of liquor searching for something. “Last time was in London, in the winter, so even longer than that.”

Miles opens the bottle of Jäger, pours some into each shot glass and then turns to the refrigerator and grabs a couple of beers, opening them by hitting them against the tiles just so with his hand.

“So, how do you know our fair Ed?” Miles directs the question to you, looking at you from over his shoulder, while he pours beer into the lowballs.

“He was in line behind me at the store and then he stalked me into having a drink with him,’ you say, a touch of sarcasm coloring your words.

Ed gives a low chuckle and then pulls you in front of him, wrapping you into his arms. “Very funny.”

“Nah, man, that sounds just like you.” Miles is clearly ribbing Ed and he gives you a conspirational glance with a smile.

He hands a lowball and shot to both you and Ed, keeping one for himself.

“Well, you certainly know the way to my heart, good sir.” Ed tips his cowboy hat to Miles in a gesture of gratitude. Except, wow. Jesus, this cowboy thing is … wow. Okay, the boy is definitely going to need to wear more Western gear. And there’s got to be a way to get him onto a horse. Or something.

You shake your head and realize they’re both holding out their glasses for you to clink against, someone having made a toast you missed while you were daydreaming about fucking Cowboy Ed.

“Cheers!” You drop your shot into the glass of beer, along with the boys, and you all chug back the drink.

Ed takes the glasses from your hands and puts them back onto the counter for you and then leans in to kiss you. He tastes like beer and liquorice and booze. Yum. Maybe you’re crazy but the scent of alcohol on your man is dead sexy.

“Come on,” Miles tells you both. “Follow me out back. Not everyone is here yet, but the ones who are are outside grilling and in the pool.”

You follow him outside and indeed, there are about about twenty, twenty five people in the large, lush backyard. Several guys and one girl standing near the barbeque, a couple handfuls of people in the pool, some tossing around a ball and others leaning and sitting against lounge chairs. It’s a gorgeous day and you realize that you can already feel the Jäger bomb as you barely had anything to eat this morning. The pool looks positively delicious and you want to make good use of it.

Ed and Miles are heading towards the grill and you tug on Ed’s hand a little and say, “Gonna go put on my bathing suit, ‘kay? Be right back.” You give him a quick kiss and then head back into the house.

You find an unoccupied bathroom and quickly change into your swimsuit. It’s a string bikini with a teal top and black and white tye-dyed bottoms. You have a weird thing about underwear and swimsuits. You absolutely hate matching pairs. They must be switched up. They have to go together, but can never be matching.

You check yourself in the mirror and, satisfied with what you see, plop the cowboy hat back atop your head and walk back, making a detour through the kitchen where you grab a beer and then step outside. You see Ed in the corner, standing around with several other guys, drinking beers. You catch his eye and motion to him that you’re going to go in the pool. He nods and smiles back and then changes his mind and gestures for you to come over.

You walk over to where he’s standing, dropping your bag on a nearby chaise lounge. As soon as you approach, he winds a hand around your waist, letting it rest low on your hip. He introduces you to everyone there and they all greet you warmly. You stay for a few minutes, joining in on the conversation about one of the bands that’s playing the festival tomorrow.

Ed leans over and nuzzles his face into the nape of your neck and the bristles of his beard tickle at your skin. “How have I never seen you in a bikini before?” he asks, his words partially muffled as his mouth is right up next to your skin.

“Um, because we’ve never gone in a pool or to the beach together,” you say with a laugh.

He laughs. “Ah, good point. Fair play.” He brings his head back up and now he’s looking down at you and you see a very familiar emotion clouding his eyes. “We’re going to need to rectify that because you look fucking hot in a bikini.”

You actually feel a tinge of shyness because of the close proximity of the other guys near you, although a quick glance confirms that they aren’t listening. You thank him and then give him a quick kiss.

“I’m going to go in the pool and make some new best friends.” You clink your beer bottle against his. “Feel free to join me.”

And with that you walk away, knowing full well his eyes are trained on your ass in your tiny swimsuit. You also notice that, as you walk by, several men, who are sitting on a chaise lounge nearby, let their gazes follow you as well. You smile to yourself, enjoying it just a tiny bit that Ed probably witnessed that. He has zero to worry about, but it’s never a bad thing for your boyfriend to notice other men noticing you.

You lower yourself into the shallow end and before you’ve even gotten down to the last step, a pretty brunette comes up to you and compliments your nail polish color and introduces herself. You guys begin talking and then several other of her friends join in and before you realize it a half hour has passed.

You glance to your right to see Ed kneeling down, offering you another beer, one for himself in his other hand.

“Thank you,” you tell him as he leans down to give you a kiss before he goes back to his friends.

Soon, a game of pool volleyball is set up and you’re recruited into playing. You guys form small teams and play two games of somewhat rowdy, very badly played volleyball as you’ve all been drinking, though that doesn’t stop anyone from having a fantastic time. Everyone ends up bumping into each other at nearly every point and for some reason, this cracks everyone up. You and Ed have been locking eyes every five minutes and you can tell he’s having a great time too, enjoying his friends.

When the game is over, you decide to get out. You climb the steps and head for the chaise lounge where you’d spied towels earlier. A blonde guy hands you a towel before you can reach down for one and asks your name. You tell him as you bend down to dry your legs. When you stand back up again, Ed is beside you.

“Hi.” You’re happy to see him. His cheeks are a bit flushed and his hair has begun to curl from the humidity. These two things combined with the cowboy hat make you want to jump him right there.

Ed introduces himself to the guy and then turns to you and says, “Forgot something in the car. Come with?”

“Sure. Is it still here?” You didn’t know if the driver was waiting on you guys or would be coming back to pick you up.

“Yeah, it’s still here,” he tells you. “Our driver said he was going to walk into town, which, apparently, isn’t far from here.”

You grab your bag from the chaise lounge where you’d put it earlier as you pass by, following Ed in through the house and then back out front. He opens the back door for you and you look at him, questioningly. You don’t know why he wants you to get inside the car.

“Want to show you something,” he says in a low voice, the tone unmistakable. You grin at him and climb in.

Inside the limo there’s the backseat that holds two people like a normal one would and then the rest of the car is a long sort of banquet of seats, or a couch, if you will. You scoot in and sit on the edge of the long banquet of seats and Ed follows you, taking his hat off and setting it down next to you.

“Have I told you how hot you look in this?” his finger is dragging along the string that goes around your neck, pulling it out suggestively.

You feign innocence, look skyward and say, “No. I don’t believe you have.”

“You look fucking hot in this.” He leans in to kiss you, opening your mouth with his, letting his tongue glide up against yours. You sigh and settle back.

His hands wind their way up behind your neck and undo the knot there. He moves back to look as the strings fall away and then the fabric covering your breasts come down with them. “You look even better not in it.”

His finger traces an easy circle around one nipple, watching as it stiffens up under his touch. He repeats the motion to the other nipple, watching again as that one stiffens too. You hear him inhale sharply.

He positions himself so that he’s kneeling in front of you, spreading your knees with his hands, moving in closer. He looks at you like he could fucking eat you up and that ignites something under your skin and you grab hold of his head and pull him in, angling his mouth right onto your breast.

He sucks a nipple greedily into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue and you moan aloud, almost caught off guard. He sucks a little harder, causing that perfect mixture of stabs of pain and pleasure that ricochet through you. After a few moments, he lets your breast fall from his mouth and then gently attacks the other one. You let your head fall back onto the headrest and lose yourself in the sensations of his warm, wet mouth teasing out each nipple, sucking on them, flicking them back and forth with his tongue, over and over.

You start to squirm a little, feeling yourself get wet already. You’re buzzed and single-minded now. All you can think about is the boy in front of you doing bad things to your body and how you want more, more bad things, worse things. Fuck, you want him.

You drag his face up to kiss it, ripping at the snaps on his shirt and peeling it away from his body quickly, feverishly. He’s kissing you so hard, breathing into your mouth, the taste of alcohol intoxicating, the feel of his lips on yours sublime.

He’s making quick work of his belt and jeans and shoving them down, struggling to get out of them without losing contact with you. You break away to get your mouth onto his skin, biting at his neck, licking his collarbone, pawing at him, desperate to feel him against you. You wish he’d get those fucking jeans off.

You decide to move to the side, stand up as well as you can in this limo and push Ed roughly back onto the seat. You yank his jeans down for him, ripping them off him, slamming his shoes away, getting him as close to naked as you possibly can. You’re fucking aching to feel his skin, aching to have him inside you.

Finally you get his jeans off and he’s tugging at your bikini bottoms, trying to get them off of you too, kissing your mouth hard, holding the back of your head tightly, winding his fingers through your hair and then pulling it down and oh, fuck, you love it when he does that, pulls your hair like that.

Bikini’s off, his jeans are off and now he’s pulling you on top of him, biting at your lips and you’re moving your hips, trying to find his cock without reaching for it. Your hands are on his chest, digging in, clawing at him. You’re both panting in between kisses.

“Fuck, I want you so badly,” Ed mutters, pulling your hair again.

You move your hips up again and try to find the spot, but you can’t get high enough. Your head is hitting the top of the roof. This is no good. You want him. You want his cock inside you. Now.

“C’mere,” you demand, and move yourself off him, and tug his arm until you can move him back onto the backseat and sit him down.

You reach over, grab his cowboy hat and put it back on top of him and take a lingering look. Jesus, he’s so fucking sexy. That hat… it makes you want to do very bad things to his body, now. Then you let your gaze fall on every part of his skin. The pale, lean torso, brightly outlined with his intricate tattoos, the beaded black bracelet he wears on his right wrist, matching the dark watch on the other. His strong legs, the light strawberry blond hair covering them. His cock, standing straight up, the plump pink head looking so inviting. So fucking sexy, all of him.

You turn around and back up to him and he catches your ass in his hands and guides you. He’s holding his cock with one hand now and positions it between your legs and you lower yourself right onto it, feeling it fill you up, ever so slowly. You’re facing away from him and it feels different and so fucking good this way.

Ed holds onto your hips and lifts you up gingerly and then lowers you back down the same way, making sure you’re on.

You hold onto the seat on either sides of his thighs and start rocking your ass up and down, lifting yourself on and off his cock, feeling the plump head slide up and over and into you, nudging right into your G spot. You keep doing this, over and over, bobbing your ass up and down, swallowing up his cock with every descent and every time it hits that soft wall, making you hiss in your breath because it feels so goddamn good.

Ed reaches around and grabs hold of your breasts and tugs at your nipples and you cry out. Oh, god. The combination of that and the way his cock is driving straight into that wall feels so fucking incredible. “Don’t stop,” you command. “Don’t stop.”

You work your hips and your ass harder, faster, slamming down onto his cock over and over, making sure you hit that exact spot, making sure the thick head glides right into it again and again and again. You can feel how wet you are, how easy it is for you to slide right up and down him. His hands, still squeezing your breasts, twirling your nipples, tugging at them. You can feel his breath hot on your shoulder and then you feel his teeth, biting down on your soft flesh.

His hips are jerking up now to meet you, he’s straining and you can hear him muttering curse words under his breath. You reach down and take hold of his balls and gently squeeze every time his cock thrusts deep into you. You cup them in your hand, tugging ever, ever so slightly, squeezing just a little and you hear Ed groan.

And then his hands find your hips again and fuck everything else, he’s got hold of you now, he’s not letting go, he’s slamming up into you from below, bringing his hips to shudder into your ass, hard, making it tremble, making it shake. It’s silent but for the both of you and your heavy breathing and the slick moist slaps you’re making as he comes thrusting into you, as he pushes you down onto his cock every time. And every single time, the head of his cock nudges your G spot in the perfect fucking way and holy shit, why have you never fucked like this before? You can come like this. You know you can.

“I’m close. Please don’t stop,” you breathe out.

The thrusts continue, straight into your wall, building that familiar pressure, rubbing you in the most exquisite fashion and you’re leaning back onto him now, your bodies both slick with a light sheen of sweat and jesus, that’s so fucking hot.

Ed grabs hold of your hair, gathers it into a messy, handmade ponytail and pulls down a bit roughly as his other hand pulls your hips down onto his cock, it thrusting up inside, and the hair pulling and oh my god, and his cock feels so good. Fuck.

“Harder,” you beg.

He pulls harder and thrusts harder and you’re all tangled up in each other, and you can hear the slap, slap, slap of your bodies and you’re tugging lightly on his balls and he feels so fucking good inside you, his mouth hot on your back, his hand gripping your flesh so hard at your waist. He’s moaning now, low “uh, uh”’s in time with his thrusts and fuck, his cock feels so fucking good pushing into you, fucking hell.

And then the warmth starts to spread out from your pelvis and down to every fucking limb and the waves of pleasure start coursing through you and you’re pushing back on him with everything you’ve got, shoving his cock up in you, reaching for that wall, harder, deeper and oh my fucking god, the waves of pleasure are unreal and you just ride them out while you ride his cock from behind and as they begin to dissipate you can hear his breath start to hitch, so instead of slowing down, you continue to bring your ass down onto him over and over, and harder and harder and soon he’s calling out your name and “Oh, fuck, fuck!” and his hands go to your breasts, and squeeze them hard, holding your body in place, thrusting up into you, his body racked with little shudders.

And then his breathing slows. And your breathing slows. And you gingerly take yourself off of him and sit down beside him.

He looks at you, his face lighting up. “That was called Reverse Cowgirl, wasn’t it?”

You giggle slightly. “Mm-hm.”

He laughs with you and then wraps you up into his arms, raining down kisses onto your hair.

“How long were we out here do you think?” You’re wriggling back into your bikini after tossing him his boxer briefs.

“No more than ten minutes, probably.” He tugs his underwear back on and sits back and watches you retie your bikini top.

Jesus, he looks so fucking cute in that hat. Especially wearing only that hat and little more.

You reach into your purse and take your cell back out and snap another photo and then show it to him.

“Dare you to post this one…”

[edsverybadthings]

Here you go, anon. Found it!

I’ll try to fix the masterpost but don’t know how soon I’ll get around to it.

[edsverybadthings]

Last night at Hotel Cafe, Ed dressed up as bacon. From a friend of a friend who was there.

[edsverybadthings]

Hey so how about to move away from all the nonsense you help me out some? How do i get a guy to realize him flitering with him? Like i have been for a while but i dont think he realizes it. I dont want to seem obnoxious but i dont want to just give up either. Hes is a total nerd and sorta dense when it comes to girls. I just dont know what to do. Any suggestions my sexy smut queen?

Be more blunt about it. More obvious. Make him do a double take and think, “did she just say what I think she said?” When he does something you like, tell him that it was hot or sexy. Hell, tell HIM he’s hot or sexy. Or when he does or says something funny or smart, comment on it and say, “see? This is why I’m so attracted to you.” or “okay, that’s it. You’re too funny for your own good. You need to take me out on a date immediately, mister.” Be lighthearted about it and cute. And then just move on to the next topic. Don’t belabor the point. Let it be one comment of many. He’ll think about you later and try to sort out if you’re into him. And thinking about you later is always a good thing. Let me know how it goes, please and then we’ll continue... 😉

[edsverybadthings]

TIPS ON HOW TO FLIRT WITH THE CUTE NEW GIRL AT WORK??? hahaha

Half the time, flirt with her aggressively and half the time act as though you've got a thousand things on your mind and barely even register that she's there. Polite but disinterested. Compliment her on something unusual. Hold eye contact longer than you should. Touch her often, but little whispers of touches. A finger along her shoulder, a hand on her waist. Let her overhear you talking to someone else about her, telling the other person how smart and clever she is. Give examples. Ask her what it's like to be that pretty. And be confident. Even if you're not, fake it. Fake it as hard as you can. Then come back and tell me how it goes! 😘

[edsverybadthings]

I'm the weight curious anon haha To be honest I think Nina is the least pretty out of all of them, her face is just odd to me, kind of manly because of her jawline. Cherry's face is less pretty to me, but she has a really nice body, good legs and nice abs! The prettiest one to me is Athina, I love that she's a brown eyed brunette, not the typical British girl (guess it's because she's greek descendent) and I love that she has big hips, thick thighs and she's short. 1/2

..

[edsverybadthings]

I have a favour to ask you. Do you have any tips or advice on masturbation or your favourite ways to get off?

Well, it depends on the kind of experience you're after. If you want it quick and dirty and fast, then use a vibrator. Using one of those, I can make myself come in 60 seconds sometimes. But if you want a more drawn out, sexier experience, I'd use fingers. My favorite scenario is this: You've got an afternoon to yourself and you're lying on your bed, no one home, and you bring up pornhub or redtube, etc. You search for a category you like. Maybe it's amateur, maybe it's public nudity, maybe it's girl on girl. You find a clip that's hot and you start watching. You slip your hand down inside your underwear, fingertips seek out your clit and you begin to absentmindedly rub little circles into your skin. Light touches without any hurry is key. Your aim is to get yourself wet by both what you're watching and by the touches that are almost not from yourself because that's how little you're concentrating on them. The clip finished and it was hot so you go off in search of another. Maybe anal this time, maybe you type in "clit sucking" or "nipple sucking" or whatever you really fancy and you find several good ones. You choose the hottest and you save it, knowing that's the one that's going to be the one you come to. You press play and you watch two girls kiss and start fondling each other and it's turning you on so you let your fingers wander down to your opening and find your wetness. Dip a finger or two inside yourself, curve them up and feel a little moan building inside as the curve of your g spot is stroked. Then bring your fingertips, now properly wet, back up to your clit and let them glide back and forth lightly on it, the moisture acting as the perfect smoothness, making it all feel like velvet and let yourself be further turned on by knowing exactly how good you feel, the softness of yourself, the way a certain tiny bit is swelling up in anticipation. Feel sexy and confident because your skin feels so damn good and you're the lucky person who gets to touch you and know in the back of your mind that the next person, who is not you, that gets their hands on you will be in for a treat and will be the real lucky one here. Keep watching and focus on the parts that really do it for you, that really get you going. Watch how her tongue flicks the hard nipple or how his thick cock slams into her ass with practiced ease. Whatever it is that gets you off, concentrate on that, while finding that perfect spot on, or next to, your clit that is designed to bring you to orgasm and then work your finger in baby circles (it's got to be counterclockwise for me) with the exact amount of pressure that your body craves and let your mind fuck you up picturing what's on screen happening to you, imagine it's your clit being licked, it's your hands being held hard behind your back, your ass in the air. Continue the same little circles and switch now to the hottest clip you've been saving and out that one on, watch the parts that you know will get you there and keep rubbing those circles again and again as someone gets their clit sucked on, drawn away from her body as her back arches and imagine its you, picture it, feel it. Keep those little flicks, the little circles going until you get yourself to that cliff you know so well, that precipice that tells you you're right there, you could come this very second if you wanted to, but don't. Still your finger. Let the little waves that threatened to engulf your pelvis subside. Then start up again but super softly, super slowly and just ride it out, teeter on that edge, tease yourself with tiny little strokes, small little flicks, anything that allows that almost-orgasm feeling to remain coursing throughout your pelvis and revel in that, knowing you're about to come so hard. And then when the porn you're watching is at a good spot, when someone is doing something unspeakably hot to the other, let yourself go and rub a little bit harder and faster and let your eyes slam shut and the moans fall from your mouth as you enjoy one hell of a fucking orgasm. Let those waves of pleasure spread out through you. And when it's done, lie back, relax and be very pleased with yourself because, after all, this is just a form of self care, no? ;) Anyway, that's what I've got for you. Vibrator for a quick and dirty release and fingers when you've got the time to invest in some fun. Hope it helps!

[edsverybadthings]

I've just drunk half a litre of red wine, oops. Something brings me here to say I like you. Lots. X

Really? I love half-drunk confessions. I like you too. We're going to have to get you your own emoji so I can know when it's you. Pick one. Ps, this message was hot.

[edsverybadthings]

OK, wow. I went through all of your stories in the last couple of days and they were all so so good. I'm actually a little bit sad to be done now. Maybe I have to reread very soon.... I'm really hoping for you to continue at some point. love your writing! Have a good day :)

Thank you so much for such a wonderful message! That's amazing that you read everything and might want to reread, too - be still my little beating heart! I promise that there is more to come. I can't say exactly when I'll post, but I'm currently writing the next chapter in the Very Bad Things series, during which Ed becomes more dominant. I've got about 1/4th of it done already. So stay tuned! And thank you again. 😘

[edsverybadthings]

Hello lovely 🍒 I appear to have misled you! What I meant was that I was watching the set on my telly, haha! But I can imagine that actually being there would've been totally electric! I'd love to go to Glastonbury too - it's one of the festivals I've been gagging to go to! Fancy 2019? I'm good 😊 still in the UK for now, and about to start teacher training in September ✏️ still with the Kiwi fella too ♥️ I've missed you too my sweet

Hell yes, I fancy going 2017. But only if it's with you and you ditch your dude so you can hold MY hand instead. 😘

[edsverybadthings]

Where are you babee?? XX

I'm right here. Xo

[yiffmaster]

i think we all have that one follower we’re always subconsciously trying to get the approval of and whenever they like or reblog a post you’re just like

good

i have pleased you

[a-lemon-and-a-bottle-of-gin]

In my case is @edsverybadthings no shame in confessing that. Hi gorgeous!

[edchristophersheeran]

OMFG SAME @drinking-sangrias @edsverybadthings

[edsverybadthings]

Oh, really? Well, come on and please me, girls. I like this...

[edsverybadthings]

@anon the chapter called three :)

Thank you! Can't believe I don't remember! Haha. You're awesome. There you go, anon! Also, on your ask, someone else mentioned another chapter where that happens in the middle, I think. Have a look at the note on that ask. Thanks again! x

[edsverybadthings]

I thought I'd give you an update about me liking my best friend we went out clubbing just the two of us and he asked me to be his wingman I think the dream is dead but that's life (and I get to go to Uni and meet cute boys in October so all hope is not lost) he only likes alternative music and I got a bit too drunk now my neck hurts from headbanging 🤕

Well, I hope your neck feels better by now! So sorry it took me so damn long to reply. Well, that sucks about your friend. Who knows, though. Maybe somewhere down the road things will hangs. You could come home on break and run into him looking super hot and he'll do a double take and wonder how he never realized that he wanted you. Or, more likely, you'll meet someone at school and fall in love and be really happy and only then will your friend be into you and, of course, then it'll be too late but probably pretty satisfying, to say the least. Regardless, I hope you find love with someone who reciprocates it and thinks you are the very best thing he's ever been able to call his. I know it will happen for you. xo

[edsverybadthings]

Which fic of yours starts with the character waking up to Ed watching her? Cant seem to find it and starting to think I made it all up in my head but I could've sworn you wrote it

Goodness, I cannot recall one that starts off that way, either! Are we both going crazy? Hahaha. I'll try to go look and see if one of them does and if I find it, I'll post it for you later. In the meantime, if anyone else remembers a chapter starting that way, let me know...? Sorry I couldn't be of more help. x

[edsverybadthings]

How does a g spot orgasm feel ? And to have one do i have to squirt ? I'm not if i ever had one tbh and how to have one . Any tips ? XX

Well, first, no, you don't have to squirt. But apparently, a g spot orgasm will more often produce squirting than a clitoral one. How does it feel? It's hard to describe. It's more...full. More all encompassing. And like, lower in pitch, if you will. Also, clitoral orgasms tend to stay pretty localized in the pelvis and hips region, sometimes spreading out into legs, but a g spot orgasm is nearly full body. It reaches all the limbs and more of the torso. But for me the bigger difference is is that it's more of a deeper, more low and penetrating and far reaching, sort of all over feeling that washes alllll over you. It's sort like how if you stand next to a speaker in a club, the bass penetrates your body to a degree and you just feel this low thumping sensation. It's kind of like that but with pleasure. It's really hard to describe. I prefer clitoral orgasms. They're more intense, easier to achieve and like, a wallop of a pleasure punch straight to your genitals that is just EVERYTHING for those few seconds. Oh, and I love how you can 'edge' with clitoral orgasms. I can't do that with g spot ones. Theoretically, it can be done I bet, probably by people who have more experience with them than me, but I can't. With clitoral orgasms, I love being on that cliff, right there, where you know you're not climbing and reaching for orgasm anymore. You're basically right there, on top of the cliff you've climbed and you're dangling your feet off the other side knowing you could fall (orgasm) any second, but you prolong it. You pull back on the stimulation (fingers or tongues), slow it down and just enjoy that almost-sensation, which, jesus, feels so fucking incredible on its own. That bit there is fucking fun and then you jump off that cliff and come super fucking hard. As for how to have a g spot orgasm, this is how I did it: I have a curved-at-the-end, vibrating dildo that is pink and lovely. I used that on myself, no vibrations, and eventually, after having it stroke my g spot over and over and over, I finally came that way. It was just a small little orgasm at first and didn't feel like much, causing me to wonder what all the fuss was about. But I did it several more times, and a few of those times I squirted clear liquid, just a little, and the sensations became more pleasurable each time. I've only reached g spot orgasm a couple of times with another person, but that is super rare. For me, it's just easier and generally more fun to stick to clitoral during sex. I don't think my body was made to have easy vaginal orgasms easily. I have a few friends who can have them with frequency and ease, but generally speaking, most women have a hard time reaching orgasm that way, so I'm not uncommon. The one tip I can give you is that, at least for me, the best time to try to reach g spot orgasm is actually right after I have a clitoral orgasm. After I've come, my g spot area is super sensitive and swollen and feels fucking indescribably incredible. Right after clitoral orgasm is exactly when I want to have sex, like not even two seconds later because my inner g spot area is at its most sensitive and feels the absolute best. I want a cock in me right then, to put it bluntly. Ha. So, maybe bring yourself to orgasm the usual way and then use a dildo or your fingers to stimulate your g spot until you come that way? Hope this helps a little! x

[edsverybadthings]

I just realised that Ed wore a black t-shirt and with flannel at Glastonbury... after we said for him to... AND he's posting regularly on social media again. Is there a pattern here? Ooh hahaha

I’m telling you, I’ve got more pull than anyone fully realizes… ;)

(Also, he looked so damn hot, no?)

[edsverybadthings]

I really hope you're back for a bit soon, we miss you! Your blog updates (and writing) makes my day and I'm excited for whatever you post next! Hope all is well with moving and your family :)

Thank you, my dear! You're a gem. I'm back now. Officially! Am going to write tomorrow and I'll be on here more, too. 😘