coping mechanism i've inadvertingly developed is when i get a sudden flashback to a painful bad memory, sometimes instead of saying "i wanna kill myself i wanna kill myself fuck" or some variaiton of that i'll instead make imitations of vomiting noises out loud, because the memories make me want to vomit. i need therapy so bad i keep putting off finding a therapist like how i've been putting off making a dentist appointment for over a year















