Youâre probably thinking âThis is a superhero movie, but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kebab.â Surprise, this is a different kind of superhero story.
Yeah, totally love it! Even my friends who were like âDeadpool looks stupid, and Ryan sucked in Green Lanternâ ate their words before it was all over; while I questioned why I was even friends with them in the first place. Really who doesnât love Wade?
Just got home from seeing Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies
Regardless of my current feelings for the movie. I have one little request, could someone please, for the love of all things green, make a video of Legolas jumping from falling stone to falling stone to the music of Mario Brothers?
I was seriously waiting for him to punch a brick and get a mushroom during that scene.
I don't think I've ever apologized for bringing the demon cat home. So: I'm really sorry I brought home the evil demon cat, that was hence forth known as Tango. I think the poor thing was too abused/neglected to be fostered with anyone but an expert. And I am so NOT an expert when it comes to cats.
So yesterday was elistariel's birthday, I attempted to send her these two pictures via text, but my phone was being a $#*! and only sent the happy birthday message. So to elistariel, here is your belated Happy Birthday message!
(Picture by hvit-ravn, go check out the link, the artwork is awesome.)
(and the gif I got from http://aidanturner-daily.tumblr.com)
(Oh and the card is from https://www.etsy.com/shop/etchedheart?ref=l2-shopheader-name)
Harry Potter art & projects. The room of requirement is basically my spare bedroom/office/craft room, where all of these are. Except the Rubber Duck piece, that is in the bathroom, which is rubber ducky themed, it seemed appropriate.
Because elistariel will expect me to answer these:
So we just did a round of introductions, but here is one to let your Tolkien appreciation take over and get you into the party mood! Just reblog and add/replace your answers. And tag with #ainurparty
First Tolkien Book:Â Not that he wrote it, but the Hobbit record book, we had a copy of this and as a child Gollum terrified me, I always hated it when I had to flip to the page with him on it. Freak me out.
http://www.ebay.com/itm/like/221226073277?lpid=82
After that would be the 1977 Hildebrandt Tolkien calendar, which I loved to flip through and just look at the pictures. My mom still has it, because she loved the artwork so much.Â
First real Tolkien Book:the Hobbit, in 2000, I knew the story because of the Hobbit cartoon, and I remember my older brother reading it when I was growing up.
Age at First Reading:Â 17 for Hobbit, Fellowship of the Rings followed, but I made sure to read them before the movies came out.
Who/What Introduced You?:Â My parents/brother, even my Dad who hates fantasy stories knows who Bilbo Baggins is.
 First Favorite Character: From the calendar: Tom & Goldberry. From my first real reading: Faramir, I can totally relate to the whole younger sibling issues, I also love his relationship with Eowyn.
First Movie:Â the 1977 Hobbit cartoon
Special Memory with Tolkien:Â Â The calendar, it taught me you can respect illustrations. Also it let me bond with my brother, he respects me more than my sister, who hasnât read the books, yet named her demon dog after one of the characters.
CURRENT EVENTSÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
Currently Reading (By Tolkien):Â None right now, working on a Western book that a co-worker gave me to read.
Fan of the Movies?:Â The Fellowship movies, not that crazy over the Hobbit movies so far.
Plan to Read Next:Â The rest of the stack of books I have but havenât read, which includes Letters from Tolkien.Â
FAVORITES
Story:Â Father Christmas, really I love his letters from Father Christmas, I wish I was closer to my nephews so I could send them letters like that. Maybe my brother will let me do that one day for his kids. My sisterâs kids donât have decent imaginations when it comes to Santa.
Race/Culture:Â Hobbits
Male Character:Â Faramir, then Boromir
Female Character:Â Eowyn
Romantic Relationship:Â Faramir and Eowyn
Friendship:Â Legolas and Gimli
Location:Â the Shire
Battle:Â Battle of Pelennor Fields.
Song: Far over the Misty Mountains when the dwarves sing itâŠOMG Thorinâs voice! Â
Of the Trilogy:Â Return of the King, I cry like a baby when Eowyn pulls her âI am no man!â shit, and then any pre-battle fight speeches.Â
Member of the Fellowship:Â Gandalf, heâs like the unexpected bad-ass, after that Boromir.
Villain:Â Balrog
Elf:Â Movie:Haldir
Dwarf:Â Books: Gimli, since he has a personality. Movies: Bofur is just so adorably funny & I want subtitles for Bifur, I imagine he's like R2-D2 and cusses up a storm, and Fili but that is for personal fan-girl reasons that have existed since at least 1998.
Man/Woman:Â Tom & Goldberry, since I already said Faramir & Eowyn earlier.
Hobbit:Â Sam
Valar:Â Yavanna or Vana, I like plants and growing things, did I mention Iâm part Hobbit?Â
Maiar:Â Gandalf
Other:Â Goldberry, I always loved the artwork we had of her in the 1978 calendar.
Tolkien Quote:Â âIf more of us valued food and cheer above hoarded gold, it would be a much merrier world.â Or âit simply isnât an adventure worth telling if there arenât any dragons.â
BOLD WHAT YOUâVE READ
The Hobbit, The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, The Return of the King, The Silmarillion, The Unfinished Tales, The Children of Hurin, The Histories of Middle Earth (volumes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12), The Book of Lost Tales, Leaf by Niggle, Farmer Giles of Ham, On Fairy Stories, The Adventures of Tom Bombadil, The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien, The Atlas of Middle Earth, Letters from Father Christmas
(credit for nearly all the questions goes to askmiddlearthâs Tolkien Reading Day Questionnaire)
I donât get restaurants that only sell certain foods at certain times of the day. What? 11:45 am arrives and *poof* every egg disappears? Where did they all go? If a lunch and a dinner dish contain the same ingredients then what mystical force prevents you from putting it together in a lunch combo after 4:00?
So my best friend elistariel think alike. I also worked on answering this too. She just got to post her's before me. So here are my answers.
01.) -call guacamole âguacâ?
I don't know who you are hanging out with, but that sounds like something a frat boy would say. I personally, nor anyone I know, have called it 'guac', if anything we sit around and talk about calling it guacamole sauce is overkill.
 02.) -like bearded men and horses so much?
I agree with Elistariel on this. Beards are good for some, others not. Some people do have beards because it's the hipster thing to do, but since it's their face it's not my place to complain. As for horses, I never wanted a horse myself, but my sister did. But I think that is because she always wanted it for the status symbol. To own a horse means you either A) live on a farm, or B) have extra money to spare and the land to house it. Thus it is a status symbol.
 03.) -like comparing arm tans.
It's amusing, as the whitest one in my current group of friends they always feel the need to point out my whiteness when we go swimming. Never has the future signs of skin cancer been so much fun.
 04.) -like cheese so much?
There are cultures that don't like cheese? What is wrong with them? I personally don't know, this must just be something in our genes.Â
 05.) -like to explore attics?
We like mysteries, and it cost too much to be a professional explorer or archaeologist, so we go for the cheapest easiest thing.
 06.) -like the sand dunes so much?
I'm guessing you are thinking of sliding down sand dunes. I think this is more of a location thing, as Iâve never slid down a sand dune. I have seen them at the beach, but I find them more as annoying. The dunes tend to get my feet covered in sand while I'm walking back to the beach house or camper from swimming. Nothing worse then a crap load of sand rubbing your feet the wrong way in your flip-flops for five blocks.
 07.) -like KISS.
Because I wanna rock and roll all nite, and party every day! Who doesn't? Actually Elistariel's answer is good too. I was also raised in a household where you didn't say 'shit' or 'crap' because those were seen as curse words, and heaven help you if you said 'jeez'. So being able to sing to KISS made me feel like a bad-ass when I was younger.
 08.) -like the woods so much.
Its part of our roots, pun intended. Part of it is also, humans (I'm not even going to say this is a white thing, but I guess you could generalize it and say it's a white thing) anyway, humans tend to have moments in their lives where they grow tired of the same old hustle and bustle of school, work, and the stress of the modern world. The 'woods' remind us of simpler times, of slowing down, and realizing to take a breather sometimes. Personally it reminds me of what is really important. Hint: it's not your smart phone.
 09.) -like pumpkin so much, pumpkin pie, pumpkin latte etcâŠ
I wouldn't say this is a white thing as much as a North American thing. Pumpkins are native to North America, so since it's something local most of us grew up with it. Pumpkin pie is a staple for most families at Thanksgiving, and in many families Thanksgiving gives fond memories of childhood. As pumpkin is one of the most familiar scents from Thanksgiving it gives many people a feeling of nostalgia, warm happy memories that sometimes arenât even real, but it just makes you feel good. Almost every American has an ideal Thanksgiving in their mind, even if they have never actually had it. Most of those involve pumpkin pie.
 10.) -like playing in the snow?
Ok, I had an awesome childhood, my siblings and I grew up with neighborhood wide snowball fights, built forts, and snowmen. It was just fun and childish. Even now when I get to play with my nephews in the snow it reminds me of my childhood and how happy it was. That and there is nothing better than being able to pelt and older sibling in the face with a well packed snowball. But again, this is my personal view. I have friends who hate the snow and would rather stay inside.
 11.) -like Drake so much?
Who? Seriously Iâm aware of who he is, but I donât think I would know his music. So, sorry canât help. But I did just prove NOT all white people like him.
 12.) -like hummus so much. Itâs literally chic peas.
Itâs a current fad that the yuppies and hipsters are into. A lot of the more popular hang outs in the city closest to me serve it. Itâs ok, but Iâm not crazy over it. Itâs kind of like sushi was a few years back, every once in a while white people get a hold of an âethnic foodâ and eat the shit out of it because it makes them think it makes them more cultured or something.
 13.) Wait, why do white people like Shark Week so much?
Hello, âGreat White Sharkâ, it has the word white in it, it makes us feel like bad asses being able to associate ourselves with Jaws. Ok, no thatâs not the real reason, but I wouldnât be surprised if someone DID associate it with that. Itâs mostly that we sometimes just like to watch the world burn, nothing like seeing a powerful animal rip a baby seal apart. It also scares us enough to remember why most of us donât go into the ocean. If you haven't noticed white people love watching stuff that scares us: horror movies, paranormal reality shows, post-apocalyptic movies, etc.
 14.) -like candy corn so much. I literally see 7 people in my class eating it.
Nostalgia. No one REALLY likes candy corn, they just eat it because Autumn & Halloween rock. Oh, and it's cheap and lasts FOREVER. It's like the Twinkies of the candy world. No one really likes them, but everyone eats them if they are around.
 15.) -like ray ban wayfarerâs so much?
Status symbol. Ray bans are for the status symbol. Blame Tom Cruise in Risky Business and the Blues Brothers. Sales went up after the movies came out, and since the early 80s they have been featured in many movies. If there is one thing white people will buy itâs crap from movies. Just ask me about my star wars action figure collection.
 16.) -like going to abandoned houses or other places like have you not seen horror movies?
(Ok, I just like Elistarielâs answer too much, also just adding âNostalgiaâ but now Iâm feeling like the guy off of ancient aliens.)
We have a sense of adventure. How do you think we got out of Europe? That and weâre nosy. We want to see how other people live (or lived). Also movies arenât the real world. Plus havenât you noticed how most horror movie villains are white? And how the white characters have a higher chance of surviving. We got this.
 17.) -like putting their bare feet on the dashboard.
Personally I find this gross, and I donât like people to do it to my car. I donât want to see your nasty feet on my carâs dash, I have to clean that. You want to stretch out, adjust the seat or lie down in the back.
 18.) - like to pick their own strawberries so much?/
Iâve never picked my own strawberries, but I have raspberries, blackberries, blueberries, and grapes. The answer is simple, they taste better when they are fresh. This is true for all food.
 19.) -like to cuddle so much during storms?
I have a lot of friends who are actually scared of thunderstorms, so cuddling makes them feel safer. Others find it romantic to sit a listen to it rain while cuddle. And some donât give a shit, this a personal thing and not race related.
 20.) -like nutella so much?
Like hummus, itâs ânewâ to us. For my sisterâs family itâs because my nephew is allergic to peanuts, but he can have Nutella. Iâve had it, itâs ok, but it cost too much, Iâll take my cheap peanut butter. But it seems to be the 'it' food for now. One thing about white people, we are great sheepeople, we will follow the masses on anything. Or if Oprah tells us, we will listen to anything Oprah has to say. She tells many housewives what to read you know.
 21.) -like kissing dogs in the mouth? Acting like itâs good luck or something.
Yeah, thatâs just gross. I kiss dogâs foreheads, not their mouth. Thatâs just gross and weird. It seems that a certain group of people who typically treat their dogs like their children tend to do this. But not all white people do. Plus the whole "your dog's mouth is cleaner" that's a misleading quote. Dog's mouths have different germs and bacteria than humans. So you really can't compare the two.
 22.) What is a âcolor runâ and why do white people like them so much?
Like hummus or sushi we see something slightly interesting and take it from its own culture and butcher the crap out of it. Weâre good like that. In this case it comes from the Hindu festival of colour. However this involves 'running', I don't do running, as I will be the first to be eaten by zombies. So I do not see the appeal. Plus I just think you would get so dirty. Imagine how much sand gets stuck to you on a hot day at the beach. Then imagine trying to wash all that colored powder off of you after a sweaty run? Gross. Plus your cloths would be ruined, you'd be breathing in that crap, yeah I seriously don't see the appeal.Â
 23.) -like to hunt ghosts?
*Please see attics, and abandoned houses answer, weâre nosy.
âWe want irrefutable proof of what we claim to already believe in.â Good quote from Elistariel.
 24.) -like avacados so much.
See âhummusâ also we were told it was healthy.
 25.) -like Christmas music so much that shit gets annoying
Giorgio Tsoukalos holding up his hands âNostalgiaâ. Although Iâm a believer that it should be played from December 1st to January 6th (Epiphany). Anything past that is wrong.
 26.) -like that Thrift Shop song so much?
Goodwill is the shit. That and itâs got a peppy beat.
 27.) -love hot glue.
Much like Goodwill the majority of us are middle class people who were raised to diy stuff. For my generation my grandparents had to diy and create things themselves during WWII, and my great-grandparents had to raise their families through the depression. Both of my parents come from this background where if you can make it yourself, or do it yourself, you do. Hot glue pretty much binds everything in crafts. Plus you have more control over it than many glues.
 28.) -love full house so much?
No clue, I tolerated Full House the first time it came around, I really wasnât crazy about it. I found the story lines annoying and too sappy growing up. I would even leave the room before the end of the episode because I knew I couldn't handle the sappy crap they put on there. Even to this day I canât watch more than about five minutes. I think most people liked it because things did get wrapped up at the end and the endings were mostly happy. Personally I preferred the Cosby show, I found the family more realistic. Especially the whole âI brought you into this world, and I can take you out.â Iâve heard parentâs actually say that. Full house was too unrealistic for me, they were too 'perfect'.
 29.) -make instagram accounts for their pets?
No clue, Iâm guessing because their pet is such a big part of their life that they feel the need to, just like some parents have facebook accounts for their kids who arenât old enough to use the internet. Which is creepy too.
 30.) -put their kids on leashes?
You know, I always hated the leashes, and thought they were stupid. Then I babysat my nephews. Now they are disciplined, but not frequently enough, I see this as the main problem; the inconsistency of discipline. This causes their parents to have little control over them in public. The first few times I went out with my sister when she had one of them on a leash it DID made the trip easier. But I still saw it as unnecessary. I got to the point where I would just ask them to hold my hand while we were in the store so âIâ wouldnât get lost. That worked much better. Personally I just think a well-deserved spanking would work much better. If I acted up or ran away when I was a kid, I was in serious shit. My nephews do it all the time, and sometimes they get in trouble, sometimes they donât. It just depends on their parents at the moment.
 31.) -love mason jars.
Mason jars are like the cousin of duct tape when it comes to diy projects, you can do EVERYTHING with them. As a southerner, they are just part of life. I grew up with my mother canning. I grew up with my best friendâs dad keeping moonshine in the freezer in mason jars. I grew up with mason jars being used in many craft and art projects with school. They are just awesome.
 32.) -love the bach so much.. yâall are always fucking there. I donât get it.
Do you mean the beach? This varies, some people love the beach; others do not. I like the beach because I have happy memories and have always been interested in the ocean. For me just being able to look out at the waves at the ocean is almost spiritual, it puts me at easy and just calms me; the smell of the salty air, the sound of the waves. I just love it. Now my best friend, who is also white, yeahâŠshe hates the beach: the sand, the smell when itâs low tide, the sea food, the idea of swimming in the ocean. So yeah, not EVERY white person likes the ocean.
 33.) *Video/Gif in the link* -dance like this though?
âWeâre raised to be super self conscious of how we look to others. We donât dance because we are hyper focused on how we look rather than moving to the music. When we do let loose we have no clue what to do. Weâre worse than newborn deer learning to walk.â I love Elistarielâs answer. Again Iâm going to generalize here from what Iâve seen in my life. Many white people from my area (the south) are not raised to let loose or âfeel the musicâ, hell some of them only grow up listening to country, therefore line dancing IS acceptable. Worst dance partner I ever had was a white guy at summer camp, no rhythm. Best were mostly guys who were either really into music or played a musical instrument so they understood keeping time to the music.
Personally, I donât dance like that, Iâm sorry. I grew up learning basic dances like the cha-cha, rumba, two-step, Carolina shag, and a number of line dances. Also, I lucked out and went to summer camps where you did have dances, one year I was taught by a group of black girls how to ânot dance whiteâ. So yes, I can drop it.
 34.) -say âidearâ instead of âidea?â Where in the f--- is there an ârâ in that word?
Thatâs a southern thing. Plain and simple. Not sure if that is also a Bostonian thing too, I know they tend to add an ârâ to the end of words that end in âaâ. But I've heard it in the south.
 35.) WTF is gluten exactly and why do white people hate it so much? (Iâm leaving this one to Elistarial as it is her thing.)
Elistarielâs answer: Jackpot! Iâm actually gluten intolerant/celiac. (Theyâre not exactly the same but for simplicityâs sake Iâll say celiac). Gluten is a protein found in wheat, barley and rye. Celiacs like myself canât digest it. It destroys part of our intestines and keeps us from absorbing nutrients causing a variety of health problems.
Non celiacs have the gluten free diet confused with a weight loss diet. Itâs not. Theyâre cutting carbs, cutting carbs is a good way to lose weight.
(My answer: it's not that we hate it, it's just like with anything else, if one daytime talk-show host has an expert who says "such and such" is bad/good for you everyone jumps on the bandwagon. It's just like when being vegan became a thing, only there is a larger population of people who can't digest gluten to those who can't digest things like meat. I'm sorry, I like my gluten, I like my bread, and pop-tarts with all the gluteny goodness in them. My thighs will just deal.)
36.) -love âturn down for whatâ so much?
Iâm lost, and have no idea what you are asking about. Iâm assuming by Elistarielâs answer that this is a song. Iâm sorry, my part of the state gets three stations: Country (which I do not listen to), Christian (which I do not listen to), and Classic Rock (which I listen to). If it wasn't recorded in 1995 or earlier I no longer have any knowledge of its existence. At work I donât tend to listen to rap, simply because I work in an office building and I try to be courteous of my fellow workers. Ok, I just listened to it on youtube. 1) good beat, which is key for white people who canât dance. When there is a loud, clearly recognizable beat it makes us believe we can dance (just imagine âWe will rock youâ by Queen, every kid can stomp the beat of that). 2) not many lyrics, but they are mostly understandable. White people love repetition, and lyrics that do not require us to grab the nearest Webster. 3) it makes white people feel edgy because OMG they like a ârapâ song, how bad ass is that?
In summation: White people like it because 1) easy beat to follow, 2) easy lyrics, 3) makes us feel like we have street credit for listening to and knowing of a rap song.
 37.) -love cooking with beer so much.
Other than beer bread, I donât cook with beer. I know more people who cook with wine. I prefer my beer in a glass/can/bottle/frosty pint to be drunk, not to be added to some crappy sauce for a roast that once itâs cooked you will have no clue there was any beer involved. To me, that is blasphemy, good beer should never be wasted.
 38.) -always say âhave a good one,â have a good what?
Seriously? We are implying âdayâ or ânightâ or âtimeâ or "life" whatever is applicable in the situation.
 39.-gotta be climbing everything.
We are like cats, we like being high up. Just ask Spider-man. As a child it made me feel superior when I could climb higher than my siblings/friends. Kind of like king of the mountain, weâre weird like that. That and curiosity, we just like to see if we can do it.
 40.) -say âfor Peteâs sake?â Who is Pete?
Saint Peter. Itâs a variation of âfor pity sakeâ or âfor Godâs sakeâ. By tossing in Pete it made it less of a blasphemy than taking the Lordâs name in vain. Not sure why this would be a white person thing. I would just think this would be a Christian thing.Â
Ok, so I saw elistariel's post on this and figured, what the hell I would try. My apologies to anyone from any country bordering Russia that is not Finland, apparently I don't know your names nor where you are located; as well as all of those countries just north of Greece. I'm sorry, you guys were still in major wars (Bosnian War) when I was in school, plus the fact that apparently I can't pronounce Herzegovina...yeah, sorry. I know there are more countries in that area but I don't actually remember learning them. The only reason I knew Slovakia is I had a co-worker from there. She went back to visit her grandparents the summer I worked with her, and she brought me back a post card. Can't read what it says, but the picture is pretty. Anyway my conclusion is that 1) in the 1990s in the southern USA we only learned of the few countries that were more stable at the time, 2) I need to make a better effort to learn geography. On the bright side at least this wasn't at test on the countries of Africa, I think I would only be able to get like five of those, and 3) I still suck at spelling.
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