Goofster

swagging it

[ejactulationzach]

I can't believe dan and phil fuck but if they don't then who's the father?!

[ejactulationzach]

You're not FUCKING CLOCKING IT!!! YOU do NOT need a "big titty goth gf" you need your social studies teacher TO BELIEVE IN YOU WHEN YOU'RE AT YOUR LOWEST!!

GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK FUCKING SKULL!!!

[ejactulationzach]

Grays anatomy more like gays anatomy 😳

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Hawk Tuah you mean the New York fancier?

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Yeah whatever you're just blazing ur blunt from the heat of my trail

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One day you'll look back at the pain you feel fondly knowing it got you where you are. But not today. Maybe tomorrow.

[ejactulationzach]

if a lesbian acts like a heterosexual man u can't call them out for doing that. they will reject the premise whole cloth. and yet, I've seen it occur a few times now. interesting phenomena.

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Either I go back home or I die out here. I don't want either.

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spiritually lesbian men make spectacular movies

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Oblivious twink votes for Trump three times because he was the gayest candidate

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I simply manifest my anxieties into chronic hives and microbursts of depression

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An absolutely iconic scene. This is cinema at it's prime and if you can't see that, you should get your eyes checked. Thank you James for this wonderful flick!

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theyve released my little green apes

[ejactulationzach]

AITA;

me female (26) had recently moved in with my boyfriend (25) of 4 years. Ever since then we've done everything together and honestly, I thought it was going amazing! Up until yesterday when we had a HUGE fight.

You see him and I have an awfully unique (and a bit childish lol) sense of humor. With the both of us finding nothing funnier than lighthearted pranks! Especially when their elaborate and low brow.

So given this aspect of our relationship, I was SHOCKED to hear that he wanted me to stop taking eggs from cartons at the supermarket and smashing it on his forehead.

He see's it as 'creating a scene' and is a 'bitch' to get out of his hair.

Disregarding the foul language, personally I don't see the problem. Not only does it become a scene only if he overreacts like a child, but also who doesn't love a hot shower!

In my opinion it's funny af especially when he starts to get covered in hives afterwords (he is allergic to eggs.)

So here I am to ask you, am I the asshole?

Edit: by lighthearted i mean anything beyond a Bart Simpson esque, is a no go! So anything involving slingshots or megaphones, aren't allowed.

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I must apologize for my previous post. It was just... too fucking funny

im so deeply sorry for being so fucking cool

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Attention is the only premium currency within an atomized world.

[ejactulationzach]

Yes I do carry a circumcision blaster with me 24/7 just in case some poor soul with an uncut gem decides cat calls me and no I will not elaborate on the logistics