Random Thoughts

[itsallaboutbl]

Finally, our feelings align.

+ bonus

[iruutciv]

Hi I've been raised from the dead by a new ice gay show how is everyone else doing

[iruutciv]

Close-ups

[justamidnightfantasy]

might as well archive this on the blog too 🤸🏽‍♀️ wrap party dance, you will always be iconic.

[midnightstorries]

connor storrie 📸 by ritchie jo espenilla

one of my favorite photoshoots (honestly every photoshoot is my favorite atp)

[mack-will]

""Ilya," he said, barely more than a whisper. Ilya didn't answer."

[ilyashaneconnorhudson]

x

[simonsaysletsgo]

(x)

[willthewiz]

no wonder they can't do interviews together yet lol

[zanephillips]

The Man with the Answers (2021) dir. Stelios Kammitsis

[ashilesun]

“You just get home?”

[userilyarozanov]

BUCKTOMMY HIATUS EVENT ▸ week one: favorite moment/scene(s)

[actuallybrini]

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!! 🔥

[nedeljkovicsaysno]

i just screamed like a fuckin banshee i just broke the goddamn sound barrier i just shattered my voice box i felt real serotonin for the first time since s3 ended

[justanotherprofessionalfangirl]

Ich weiß nicht, wer von euch im Anne with an E fandom war, aber es gab da mal eine Theorie (oder war's canon?) über den Verlauf der dritten Staffel, die sich interessanter Weise auch auf Hörk anwenden lässt:

Er liebt mich, er liebt mich nicht.

An einem Punkt in AwaE hat Anne eine Blume in der Hand und macht den typischen "he loves me, he loves me not"-Trick und im Fandom ist aufgefallen, dass das auf die Folgen der 3. Staffel anwendbar war. Eine Folge he loves me, eine Folge he loves me not.

Ich habe festgestellt, dass dasselbe für Spatort gilt - wobei Leo der Blumenpflücker ist. Hier meine Erklärung:

1. Das fleißige Lieschen: Er liebt mich.

Adam kehrt nach Saarbrücken zurück, nach 15 Jahren Untertauchen und Funkstille, weil er durch ein Tauschgesuch die Gelegenheit gesehen hat, mit Leo zusammenzuarbeiten. Er sagt ihm, ich hab dich vermisst, und Leo, es ist alles gut, wir sehen einen seltenen Einblick in seinen Leo-zentrierten Beschützerinstinkt, der sofort rauskommt, wenn jemand (Esther, Pia) Leo kritisiert oder angreift, er stellt sich schützend vor, hinter und neben ihn, schaut ihn liebevoll an und macht seine Zuneigung deutlich.

2. Der Herr des Waldes: Er liebt mich nicht.

Adams Vater erwacht aus dem Koma und wird entlassen und Adam? Verschweigt es Leo. Obwohl der genauso in der Sache drinsteckt wie er selbst, obwohl er genau weiß, wie wichtig es für Leo wäre, das zu wissen, obwohl es theoretisch sogar Konsequenzen für ihn haben könnte. Er ist pampig und verschlossen und als er wieder in den Bunker zieht, leidet er still, ohne sich Leo auch nur einmal anzuvertrauen. Während Leo natürlich sofort merkt, dass etwas nicht stimmt, schweigt Adam und pöbelt stattdessen Esther an (Tischkickerszene). Und schließlich hält er Leo egoistischer Weise davon ab, zu schießen, ohne Lausch sofort erschießen zu müssen, obwohl er weiß, wie schwer Leo das alles seit der Spatensituation fällt.

3. Das Herz der Schlange: Er liebt mich.

Zu Beginn von HdS sehen wir Hörk erstmal, gemeinsam mit Esther und Pia, eine gute Zeit haben, der Konflikt aus dem HdW-Ende scheint bereinigt. Dann stirbt Roland Schürk und was ist Adams erste Tat? Er ruft Leo an, verabredet sich mit ihm. Sucht am See die Nähe zu ihm, körperlich und emotional, vertraut sich ihm diesmal an (soweit, wie er eben kommt). Als die Polizei auftaucht, sieht man Adam für einen Moment überlegen, ob Leo ihn soeben verraten hat - ein schmerzhaftes Gefühl. Doch statt ihn zu beschuldigen oder sich zu verschließen, wie es sonst der Fall ist, ist ihm nur eine Sache wichtig, Leo wissen zu lassen: Leo, ich war das nicht. Gleichzeitig erkennt man in Adams Flashback zur Nacht von Rolands Tod wieder seinen Beschützerinstinkt an seiner Reaktion, als Roland ihn auf Leo anspricht. Als sie es endlich schaffen und Leo Adam von der JVA abholt, scheinen die beiden sich näher denn je.

4. Die Kälte der Erde: Er liebt mich nicht.

Was unbeschwert und harmonisch beginnt, wird bald zum größten hörkschen Konflikt. Adam hat das Geld gefunden und behalten und verheimlicht es. Er trägt es kackfrech in seiner Sporttasche mit sich herum, nachdem er sich überfallen lässt und Leo dann anlügt, er sei vom Rad gefallen. Selbst, nachdem Leo ihn dazu bringt, ihm von dem Überfall zu erzählen, erzählt er ihm nichts vom Geld, lässt Leo nur widerwillig bei sich schlafen und mosert schon in der zweiten Nacht herum, als wolle er ihn loswerden. Während Leo immer verzweifelter versucht, Adam festzuhalten und ihm nah zu sein, hält der ihn immer auf einer Armlänge Abstand. Bis Leo mit seiner Hingabe ein bisschen zu weit geht und Adam entgültig der Kragen zu platzen scheint. Auf Leos sarkastisches, Adam Schürk, der Mittelpunkt der Welt, erwidert er seinen vielleicht verletzendsten Satz: Deiner Welt vielleicht und lässt Leo stehen. Als der am Ende des Films das Geld findet, geschieht ein vorerst entgültiger Bruch.

5. Der Fluch des Geldes: Er liebt mich.

Auch, wenn der Film mit dem größten Streit der beiden beginnt, wendet sich das Blatt bald zu etwas, das wir bis dahin noch nicht gesehen haben: die Rollen werden vertauscht. Adam entschuldigt sich nicht ganz direkt, gesteht Leo aber zu, einen Fehler gemacht zu haben und zeigt Reue. Als Leo ihn stehen lässt (erstmalig nicht andersherum), ist Adam aufgewühlt und ein bisschen verzweifelt. Leo pöbelt am Unfallort die Spusi an, während Adam sofort zur Hilfe kommt, Leos Nähe sucht, sich sorgt. Am nächsten Morgen versucht er ebenfalls mehrfach, auf verschiedene Weisen mit Leo zu interagieren und wird dabei stur ignoriert. Und dann ist es an Leo, einen Alleingang zu machen und Scheiße zu bauen, und an Adam, besorgte Nachfragen zu stellen, ihm hinterzufahren und stetig in seiner Nähe zu bleiben, um auf ihn aufzupassen. Er geht endlich wieder auf Leo zu (nicht mehr umgekehrt), sein Beschützerinstinkt kommt wieder zum Vorschein: Leo, es reicht, du bist angefixt / Wenn irgendeiner auch nur laut hustet, komm ich da rein / Schüttel das ab, Leo! Blicke, Worte und Taten sprechen hier alle eine Sprache und die ist so ziemlich das Gegenteil von KdE. Leo denkt, er sei Adam vollkommen und absolut scheißegal. Und Adam? Beweist innerhalb eines Tages das Gegenteil.

6. Das Ende der Nacht: Er liebt mich nicht.

Ich weiß nicht, ob es nur mir so ging oder es lediglich an der ungewohnten Gruppenaufteilung (Leo/Esther, Adam/Pia) liegt, aber irgendwie ist da eine Distanz zwischen Leo und Adam, die bisher nie so da war – klar war in FdG erstmal Funkstille, aber die hatte zumindest einen triftigen Grund und folgte auf einen großen Konflikt. Diese hier ist irgendwie stiller und deshalb umso beunruhigender. Wo es bisher immer absolut selbstverständlich war, dass Leo und Adam ein Team bilden und Pia und Esther das andere, ist diesmal kontinuierlich, bis zu Pias Entführung, neu gewürfelt. Leo und Adam führen bis ziemlich weit in den Film nicht ein wirklich persönliches Gespräch. Das, was Adam eigentlich definitiv Leo erzählen sollte, vertraut er stattdessen Pia an - Meine Mutter sagt, ich sei wie mein Vater. Dann diese seltsame, ambivalente Spannung zwischen eben diesen beiden, und sie wachen zusammen im Präsidium auf, während wir Leo eine ganze Weile gar nicht zu Gesicht bekommen. Und hier wird es interessant. Leo fragt auf seine gewohnt misstrauische Art nach Adams Rucksack, Esther schlägt eine WG vor, und ausgerechnet Leo ist derjenige, der das aus einem ziemlich unsinnigen Grund (Adams Rauchen, obwohl er ja eigentlich aufgehört hat) ablehnt, während Adam aussieht, als hätte er den Gedanken tatsächlich in Betracht gezogen.

Hier frage ich mich, ob sich das Blatt vielleicht gewendet hat und es nicht mehr nur um Adams Liebe geht, sondern auch um Leos? Ist mit FdG eine neue, gleichberechtigtere Beziehung entstanden und nun muss nicht mehr nur Leo um Adams Liebe kämpfen, sondern auch umgekehrt? Nur eine Idee.

Wichtige Themen werden auch weiterhin zwischen den beiden kurz gehalten und nicht wirklich vertieft und sowohl körperlich als auch emotional scheint es noch immer eine freundliche Distanz zu geben.

Dann aber das Ende: Leo, der sich für Pia und den ganzen Bunker aufopfert, Adam, der einen bewusstlosen Leo von Pia wegzerrt, Leo in Adams Schoß, blutend und nicht ansprechbar, und dann die letzte Einstellung von Adam: Schock, Verzweiflung, pure Panik. Es sieht aus, als würde Adam genau in diesem Moment erkennen, was Leo ihm wirklich bedeutet. Was es bedeuten könnte, wenn Leo einfach nicht mehr da wäre. Und das wiederum, wenn der ÖRR sich ein klitzekleines bisschen Mühe gibt und etwas aus ebenjener Reaktion macht, könnte meine Theorie weiterführen und würde auf wunderschöne und emotionale Weise ins Konzept passen: Spatort 7: Er liebt mich.

[newtkelly]

do you have any fave long bucktommy oneshots?

thank you for asking, i absolutely do! here are my long bucktommy oneshot fic recs. these fics are 10k-30k words (admittedly there are a few exceptions, but those feel longer than they actually are), and they are posted in one chapter. listed in order of published date. enjoy!

i sing of bitter earth by @middyblue [ao3 profile]

Published: 05-07-2024 | Words: 12,037 | Rated T

In his head, on the job, he can walk away from it. The underworld that lies in wait inside him stays behind and it’s just him and the rope, the hose, the halligan; give him a puzzle to solve and a caller to rescue and it’s like everything is air, rosy and clear and fragrant as an open field.

The Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve floods. Taylor falls; Tommy falls; Buck falls.

this was one of the first 9-1-1 fics to make a serious impression on me. i was, and still am, so taken by the imagery, the action, and the thematic storytelling. it bravely leans into being an emergency-based fic, and it genuinely made me want to tell a story like that, too. the prose and the characterization and the taylor/tommy dynamic are all so brilliant. definitely one of my most formative, influential, and cherished 9-1-1 fics.

an outlier that should not be counted by @dadvans [ao3 profile]

Published: 05-11-2024 | Words: 7,429 | Rated E

Buck knows a lot of random trivia. Tommy falls in love with him one fact at a time.

okay, i know this the shortest thing on this list, but listen. where would we all be without this fic? there is a reason it's sitting pretty at 22k hits. could honestly be the origin of many of the fandom's core bt dynamic headcanons. a delightful, witty read that captures the early excitement of bt like lightning in a bottle.

awful quiet here since love fell asleep by @cecilyv & @liminalmemories21 [ao3 profiles x & x]

Published: 05-14-2024 | Words: 15,632 | Rated M

The Buck/Tommy break up/make up fic that literally no one was asking for but me. Things don’t always work out, the first time around.

"We'll be friends?" Because this is the right move, the smart move.

There's an expression he can't read that crosses Tommy's face, but then he nods, and sticks out his hand for Buck to shake. "Of course."

Buck hates it. But he made the bed, it's his to lie in. They shake on it.

the original break up fic. this is an amazing buck character study that honestly feels a bit prophetic in retrospect. i remember how i felt reading this, so heartbroken but so obsessed with the way buck navigated through understanding his own loneliness. it's absolutely joyful.

something ‘bout a boat by @swiftietartt [ao3 profile]

Published: 05-30-2024 | Words: 9,825 | Rated E

Tommy introduces Evan to his friends.

this is my one of my most cherished fics, i honestly cannot articulate how intensely i feel about it or do its brilliance much justice. begging you to read it if you haven't. to this beautiful author, should you ever write buck and tommy again, please know i will be first in line to read it. this story is charming beyond belief. this version of tommy is not one that you read about often, and i fucking love that. in this story, tommy is aloof but well-loved, has a delightful circle of true friends, and he has a fucking boat. there is not that much buck in this story, though he is omnipresent in a way. it builds and builds up to them finally getting to be alone below deck, and it's all the more delicious because of the wait. fabulously unique, there is really nothing else like it.

a full-body workout by @persiflager [ao3 profile]

Published: 07-02-2024 | Words: 7,901 | Rated E

When Tommy turns back to Eddie he finds Eddie giving him a knowing look. “Laundry and meal prep, huh?”

another one that is so carefully written that it feels longer than it is. one of the things i love so much about this story is the trio dynamic. the evolved friendship that eddie has with buck and tommy is, at least for me, best depicted here than anywhere else i've ever seen it. and, on top of that, there is just something so appealing to me about spending an entire day wanting to fuck so bad, but your friend is over so you've gotta practice patience. the anticipation that builds is really nuanced, it's truly a perfectly told slice of life.

the suffering of evan buckley('s sex drive) by @sugarpenchant [ao3 profile]

Published: 07-16-2024 | Words: 10,513 | Rated E

Tommy has been gone fighting fires for a month as vital air support, which would be fine—except for the fact that Buck has finally gotten a taste of sex with Tommy only for it to be cruelly whisked away. Buck finally gets his chance to join the firefighting efforts on the front lines and hopefully, someday before the world ends, ideally, he’ll get to see Tommy again.

There is a chance that Buck is being a little overdramatic about the whole thing, but a month is a really long time to go without the wonder of your brand new boyfriend.

posted for day 2 prompt of five alarm fest: after a dry spell

i need you to understand exactly one thing. this is the hottest fic ever. no like, this is the hottest fic i've read in years. buck, having just gotten dicked down for the first few times loses a summer of lovin' to a wildfire. tommy's on the frontlines, and what does buck do? he joins the ranks just for the possibility to be physically closer to him (and his dick). the world-building is fantastic for its length, particularly with the inclusion of lone star characters. when they finally see each other that first time, goddamn. the way they want each other but can't do a thing is a tease like nothing else. but where there's a will, there's a way. the fuck they manage to fit in between fighting the wildfire is a high that buck is able to ride (pun intended) for a while. i'm literally so addicted to this fic. erotic perfection.

knee deep in the passenger seat by @firstaudrina [ao3 profile]

Published: 08-08-2024 | Words: 9,039 | Rated E

What Buck liked best was that first thrill — a smile returned, a flirtatious joke — and then the heated next-next-next, all the things he still had to learn there.

aka Buck begins (in bed).

this ends with bucktommy, but it's a lot more than that and that isn't the draw of this fic. this is for the evan buckley lovers. this is like going to your favorite porn star's profile and watching a snippet of every single thing they've ever starred in. it's so good, it's so hot, it's so complicated. a great and very unique read.

bop it, twist it, pull it by @al-the-remix [ao3 profile]

Published: 08-14-2024 | Words: 21,642 | Rated E

“Hey!”

He doesn’t mean to yell, but Tommy still jumps a little beneath him. “Jesus, Evan, what–”

“You have a fucking dick piercing,” Buck half proclaims, half accuses. This is what Tommy has been holding out on all this time?

or

Buck discovers more about Tommy (and himself) through Tommy's piercings.

there's something about this fic that fits so perfectly into my fantasy of tommy. there's this punkishness about him in my head, and maybe that is a feeling that carried over from seeing pictures of lfj as a young, bulky, pierced scoundrel, but this story fits that image. super hot, a wealth of edginess.

fever's high with the lights down low by @kirkaut [ao3 profile]

Published: 09-07-2024 | Words: 11,731 | Rated E

No one has ever done this for him before. He didn’t even know how badly he wanted someone to do this - to think of him this way, to not only shoulder some of his weight but to want to - until this moment. Most people he’s dated have tended to give him a wide berth after a long, grueling shift, and he’d always thought that was what he wanted. It had been a little lonely, sure, but there wasn’t much he typically did afterwards that wasn’t refuel and rest.

Maybe he should have known better when it comes to Evan, who had jumped feet first into this relationship and never once looked back. Evan, who has worked these kinds of shifts himself and understands Tommy in a way that none of his exes ever have before.

Evan, who pours the love out of himself like it's as easy as breathing.

i remember reading this story for the first time. i was on vacation in a hotel bed, and i just felt so luxurious and indulgent getting to read this unbelievably hot, heartfelt story in utter comfort. it's the perfect analogy for how this fic makes you feel. it's pwp at its honest best.

engine purr by @epiphainie [ao3 profile]

Published: 09-16-2024 | Words: 15,010 | Rated E

“Oh! Yes. My car, my Jeep, I mean,” Buck said, gaze falling on the hands reaching for a rag. “It just sputtered and died on me right outside of town and there was no reception… I-I didn’t know what to do so I just… walked.” He swallowed and looked up again. “I thought I could call Triple A? Or maybe 9-1-1?”

The guy looked at Buck. There was a slight furrow to his brows, a tinge of bemusement in his eyes. The lines of his face were sharp and straight everywhere, but well-worn too, making Buck realize he was older than him by at least a decade and some change, if not more.

“That’s not for 9-1-1. And Triple A costs an arm and a leg if you don’t have a membership,” he said in a languid voice. “Lucky for you, though, you walked into this town’s one-and-only repair shop.”

buck takes a road trip before his new job, the jeep breaks down in the middle of nowhere, a small-town mechanic helps him out

my friend is a genius. okay full disclosure, au is not always my thing, and never my preference. i know that is a very unpopular opinion, but i think i am just very picky about it - but when it's done well, it can't be beat. this fic is fucking amazing and the age difference is a thing to behold. i always find myself so immersed in mimi's stories, particularly the dialogue. as i was reading this fic, i would find myself deep in one of buck and tommy's conversations and be so struck by how tangible and accurately articulated the characters are. in my own writing, i drag my feet over dialogue, never really knowing if something is too long-winded, or far too short. that happens to be mimi's strength, especially here - their conversations are perfectly paced, chatty, and true. beyond that, i could probably gush just as much over how hot the tension, build-up, and well-earned sex is in this fic. my fiancé called it the hottest bt she's ever read. by the way, even as i write this little blurb, my mind is saturated with images of tommy's apartment over his shop, and that is a true testament to the visceral and descriptive writing that is achieved here. i will wrap this up by saying i truly cannot wait until the next part in this story is posted! god, i love good writing.

in a yellow wood by @cecilyv & @liminalmemories21 [ao3 profiles x & x]

Published: 11-10-2024 | Words: 9,847 | Rated E

It’s been three years since the break-up when Tommy saves a family and it upends his life.

He’s paying more attention to explaining what the various levers and controls do than he is to what’s going on in the hangar and his head whips around when he hears a familiar voice saying. “Kam, the whole point of leaving my kid with you was to not take him to work.”

this is one of two break up/make up fics that i hold very dear. there are things that ring very true about it, and things that are legitimately haunting. they're apart for years - right from the jump, that is a sobering revelation. buck has a baby. buck doesn't look like he used to - his hair is shorter, he has a slighter frame. his life, his body, his world has changed. but he wears the maturity well, and he wears fatherhood well, and tommy wants in and he fucking earns a seat at the table. he earns love, he earns a family. it's a fucking beautiful rosy picture of what a future could be. it's so special, and so healing.

closet conversations by @eyesonstars-feetonground [ao3 profile]

Published: 11-12-2024 | Words: 10,599 | Rated M

Six months is a long time to stick around if he thought you’d dump him.

OR

After his boyfriend dumps him, Evan Buckley goes on a date, makes a new friend, has some conversations, and realizes he's queer. Tommy haunts him every step of the way.

this break up/make up is a triumph. very, very special to me. my favorite thing about this story is that it is a love letter to queer media and culture. this fic grabs one of the loosest threads of buck and tommy's canon relationship and pulls and pulls at it, taking a closer look at what it means for buck to date and fuck a guy for six months but not be able to correct some girl that he was on a date (for his six month anniversary, no less), or correct maddie that he isn't gay. it's one of so many things that deserves closer analyzation, and it's done so brilliantly here. buck and queerness go so, so well together - i am desperate for more carefully constructed analyses and stories like this one.

[ilianitta]

2024 in Review: The Most Dynamic ‘Ships From 9-1-1, Bridgerton, Traitors, Nobody Wants This, Evil and More

[ohithankyou]

please look at the way buck’s smiling while he’s being smooched hello by his boyfriend. and that smile only gets bigger after they break apart. and and. he’s just so unbelievably happy that even his eyes are smiling. i’m unwelllll.