eleanor

she/her perpetually confused

[lissssaa]

i want to be unrecognisable by fall

[with-luv-from-sienna]

The urge to get really noticeably sick

[moonvera]

[vrtualcvts]

I genuinely feel like such a horrible girlfriend. Like why am I such a bitch? I'm so disgusting and mentally unstable. I'm a fucking addict to all the wrong things. Fuck.

[jiraidxnshiangel-deactivated202]

there are two wolves inside you: one wants to get to 18 faster so you move out and cut as much as you like and the other doesn't want to come even close to that age

[eleanors-confused]

there is a gust

of wind

it blows you away

along with the leaves, dust, and dirt.

though it was easy for you

to simply float away

i stand here,

smothered by your absence

begging the wind to bring you back once more

but this time one of us has gone too far,

i asked for too much; pushed too hard

and now you’re going away for good this time

like i always knew you would

but prayed

that maybe you’d stay.

[eleanors-confused]

i grieve.

i grieve for old friends,

whom are very much alive

i grieve for childhood pets,

even the ones i never owned

i grieve for relationships,

that never had the opportunity to form

but most of all;

i grieve for myself.

i grieve for the little girl

who lost herself in that house,

for the 13 year old boy who will never know love,

and for the 17 year old girl

who seems to be back in that house

yet again.